Depressed and Frustrated - I don't think I'm losing weight like I should

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  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    emmylootwo wrote: »
    Back in 2011-2012, I lost 150 pounds using myfitnesspal. I maintained a healthy weight for a year and a half maybe, then I started college. I gained about 40 pounds with the initial stress of my classes, but I was working my way back down again. Then a year and a half ago, my family lost my brother. That was hard enough as it is, but it also made my mom physically sick for 6 months, vomiting nearly 24-7. I had to take her to the ER 5-6 nights a week so she could get fluids and IV medicine. They would admit her occasionally, find nothing wrong, and we'd be at the ER again the next night. (Found out the trauma triggered something called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, which she is managing pretty well now, thankfully.) Back to me, I ate and ate and ate to cope with everything, until my binges just become regular meals. A week ago, I weighed myself at 350 pounds. That's 50 pounds more than I have ever weighed before. I. Am. As. Big. As. A. House. I went back to myfitnesspal and started eating 1300-1500 calories. It's been a week now, and I'm down 8-9 pounds (which I realize is mostly water weight at this point).

    The problem is: I lost that weight within three days. The rest of the week I have been teetering around 340-342. No change except for it being that time of month, still eating less than 1500 calories a day. I should be losing faster than this. I should be losing more consistently. What am I doing wrong? I'm really struggling with understanding why I'm not losing the same way as I did before. TOM never affected me in the past, so surely that's not the problem. I haven't yet started exercising, but even so, I should be at a large calorie deficit.

    I know it's only the first week and the overall weight loss trend is what should matter, but I'm getting really discouraged. I'm starting to think maybe I've killed my metabolism and I'll be a fat, disgusting whale forever. Why else wouldn't I be losing weight like I used to?

    Be patient, and please talk to a therapist. You need support too. If you are in college, it is very probably there is counselling offered, so ask.
  • Wombat468
    Wombat468 Posts: 191 Member
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    charlieandcarol wrote: »
    I am sure you will do just fine. I just wanted to add to the above that perhaps you need to be kinder to yourself. Think about if your situation was actually a friend of yours. I am sure you wouldn't say you are as a big as a house and all the other ways you describe yourself. You would probably say to her: You have been through a tough time, grieving, caring for your Mum and now it is time to care for yourself, I know you can do it, just take baby steps and it won't be long before you will be feeling better.

    I know it is hard to turn off the negative self talk but try to be kinder to yourself, you deserve it!

    +1
  • rfgtv34
    rfgtv34 Posts: 4 Member
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    Sorry for your loss, I would eat a bit more than 1500 as your weight come down the wiggle room would be there, just so that you don't get fed up of eating so little for an extended period of time and start to binge, I would eat what mfp gave you to eat for 2lbs a week., small steps you have lost your first 5lbs and only lost your first 10, you got this.
  • MaggieLoo79
    MaggieLoo79 Posts: 288 Member
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    1500 calories is below your BMR. If you severely restricted the last time you lost weight as well, you may have damaged your metabolism. Up your calories. Plan on going slow. Lift weights and build muscle. Get enough protein. Read this: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&referer=http://m.facebook.com
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
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    I'm so sorry for everything you have been going through. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Good for you for now focusing on your own health.

    I agree with what everyone has said and have only a couple things to add. Since weighing everyday is getting you down and stressing you out, stop weighing everyday. Weigh once a week or even once a month. Focus more on how you feel and how your clothes start fitting.
    emmylootwo wrote: »
    Perhaps I'm a little anxious too, because I joined an online "dietbet" and have to lose 13ish pounds this month (not including the 9 I've already lost).

    This works for some people but it sounds like it is just adding even more unnecessary stress to your life. Get out of this bet now if you can and don't do it again. Getting stressed about losing enough weight to not lose money by some arbitrary date is only going to make you feel worse and keep you in a vicious cycle of stress and unhappiness with your weight.
  • 4evrazen
    4evrazen Posts: 6 Member
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    Hi all, am new to this, am just on about 5th day. Had my third child about 10 weeks ago and am finally ready to truly lose the weight this time. Was at a good healthy weight about 9 years ago and then lost what would have been our first baby. Put on a lot of weight in the year and a half it took to conceive my oldest daughter. Then tried for 4 years before able to get our second daughter. Miscarried again the summer after having her. Then just able to have our son 10 weeks ago. Have had gestational diabetes with each, on insulin with last one. Put on more weight with each and am at heaviest I have ever been. Very depressing, but am going to do it this time for my babies. I tend to get discouraged and give up easily, my biggest down fall, so will be reading. All the replies you all gave her help me as well.

    Also, I think she is right. Gaining or losing money over weight loss will only add more stress and even if you do win some money, I found in the past, it isn't enough motivation to really keep at it.
  • dlcshan
    dlcshan Posts: 45 Member
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    As someone who would also get frustrated with the ups and downs and no changes, I stumbled upon mention of trendweight.com which graphs your weight and adds a trend line. On that website is the mention of where they got their graphing method which is something called The Hacker's Diet. It is a relatively short book that is also available to read in-browser at http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/


    It was written by an engineer/computer programmer so it gets a bit technical, but for me that worked. He discusses later in the book the method and theory behind why he created a trend-line method for tracking weight, including why it's okay and even normal for weight to go up and down. But basically as long as your weight is still below the trend-line (even if it has gone up) it is still bringing your trend-line down.

    It involves daily weighing to get a proper trend-line, but once you get to a point of maintaining, it shows you how you can easily tell more easily if your weight starts to trend up rather than just fluctuates normally. I've been using it for about a month and I can tell you it helps a lot seeing that steady downward moving line in spite of the not-so-steady scale numbers.

    I highly recommend doing the reading even if some of the technical may go over your head. It gives a method behind the madness rather than just a blind following.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
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    How do you know all 9lbs was water weight. 9lbs would be a lot of water to be retaining. I think you are doing great. Just keep up the good fight. Only time will tell. You didn't "kill your metabolism." I don't think that is even possible without dying. Seriously.

    Make some friends on here that can help support you. Be honest with yourself and be patient. You've done this before and it worked. Trust yourself. This might be a little too personal, but I would also suggest that you seriously look at emotional eating and ways to stop doing that. I am an emotional eater too. You can always tell when I've had a rough time of things because I gain weight. I'm working on that...I don't want to lose all this weight and then turn to food as a coping mechanism again.

    Good Luck.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    I'd like to reiterate 2 things DON'T WEIGH YOURSELF DAILY and STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP.
    I've been tweaking and trying different things for about 4 months before ANY weight loss, so view it as a process. Try different things for a week or 2, measure and tweak as necessary.
    Much love to you.
  • Britxclarity
    Britxclarity Posts: 235 Member
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    I am sorry for your loss ;[ I know my fitness pal treats everyone differently by height actively level and age, I just recently made it into the 330's and MFP has my cal intake set to 1970. Can I ask why you're only eating 1500 a day?

    That seems so low for right now. :(
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
    edited May 2016
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    emmylootwo wrote: »
    Thanks everyone. It's just hard to stop comparing this weight loss "journey" with the last one. I've been so depressed and stressed this past year that it certainly FEELS like I just woken up and noticed I gained all this weight overnight. I keep thinking I can just pick up where I left off (like walking 10,000 steps a day, doing high intensity cardio, lifting weights, etc.), and it's bumming me out that I am LITERALLY starting over. (I just went for a little walk that I previously wouldn't have even broken a sweat doing, so of course it sucks to realize how out of shape I've gotten -- now that I'm huffing and puffing with something so simple.) Perhaps I'm a little anxious too, because I joined an online "dietbet" and have to lose 13ish pounds this month (not including the 9 I've already lost).

    I really appreciate everyone's feedback/advice/kind words. I've been tempted to lower my calories down to 1200... But it's only the first week. 1500 should be fine, especially for someone my size. I know this. I'm going to stay off the scale for a week or so. And, yes, I do weigh all my food, for those asking, and I overestimate whenever I'm not sure. :)

    Thanks again. I'll come back with an update in a few weeks maybe.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Are you in therapy?

    Without knowing how tall you are, I suspect 1500 is too low for someone your size. Please don't punish yourself by undereating. I'm 150 pounds lighter than you and eat more than 1500 calories per day.

    Scooby says the # 1 reason people fail to lose weight is flaming out due to having overly aggressive goals:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOjsmqo1x8k
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
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    charlieandcarol wrote: »
    I am sure you will do just fine. I just wanted to add to the above that perhaps you need to be kinder to yourself. Think about if your situation was actually a friend of yours. I am sure you wouldn't say you are as a big as a house and all the other ways you describe yourself. You would probably say to her: You have been through a tough time, grieving, caring for your Mum and now it is time to care for yourself, I know you can do it, just take baby steps and it won't be long before you will be feeling better.

    I know it is hard to turn off the negative self talk but try to be kinder to yourself, you deserve it!

    Well said.
  • emmylootwo
    emmylootwo Posts: 172 Member
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    Update: No real change in my weight. Still eating 1500-1600 calories a day. Started exercising 2-3 times a week. I give up. I don't think I can live on 500 calories a day anymore like I used to, so I give up. I don't even know why I tried. Thanks for your advice everyone anyways. Maybe it'll help someone else.
  • Zella_11
    Zella_11 Posts: 161 Member
    edited May 2016
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    (((Hugs))) Find some support to process the hardships you've endured.
  • Zella_11
    Zella_11 Posts: 161 Member
    edited May 2016
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    No--don't give up! You can do this.
  • Zella_11
    Zella_11 Posts: 161 Member
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    Up your calorie intake to something more reasonable...and the weight will go down. Calorie deficit WORKS--even if it is a small deficit everyday. A year from now, you'll wish you would've kept going. You can do it! You deserve to be heathy and fit and happy. All the best --K
  • exomos
    exomos Posts: 21 Member
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    Damn, congratulations on the 8-9lbs in only one week!

    Don't worry, that's a total victory right there. The truth is, you're doing everything right. Sometimes our bodies lose weight fast, sometimes it slows down a bit. But you're thinner than you were a week ago and you'll be even thinner next week. :)
  • njk0215
    njk0215 Posts: 10 Member
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    Please don't give up. I haven't seen if you have clarified yet, but are you using food scales to ensure you are logging accurately? Very sorry to hear of your loss as well, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
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    emmylootwo wrote: »
    Update: No real change in my weight. Still eating 1500-1600 calories a day. Started exercising 2-3 times a week. I give up. I don't think I can live on 500 calories a day anymore like I used to, so I give up. I don't even know why I tried. Thanks for your advice everyone anyways. Maybe it'll help someone else.

    It's common to retain water when you start a new exercise program. My scale shot up 7 pounds when I started lifting weights again last fall.

    Are you in therapy? I think it would be good for your at this point in your life for several reasons.

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