Depressed and Frustrated - I don't think I'm losing weight like I should
emmylootwo
Posts: 172 Member
Back in 2011-2012, I lost 150 pounds using myfitnesspal. I maintained a healthy weight for a year and a half maybe, then I started college. I gained about 40 pounds with the initial stress of my classes, but I was working my way back down again. Then a year and a half ago, my family lost my brother. That was hard enough as it is, but it also made my mom physically sick for 6 months, vomiting nearly 24-7. I had to take her to the ER 5-6 nights a week so she could get fluids and IV medicine. They would admit her occasionally, find nothing wrong, and we'd be at the ER again the next night. (Found out the trauma triggered something called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, which she is managing pretty well now, thankfully.) Back to me, I ate and ate and ate to cope with everything, until my binges just become regular meals. A week ago, I weighed myself at 350 pounds. That's 50 pounds more than I have ever weighed before. I. Am. As. Big. As. A. House. I went back to myfitnesspal and started eating 1300-1500 calories. It's been a week now, and I'm down 8-9 pounds (which I realize is mostly water weight at this point).
The problem is: I lost that weight within three days. The rest of the week I have been teetering around 340-342. No change except for it being that time of month, still eating less than 1500 calories a day. I should be losing faster than this. I should be losing more consistently. What am I doing wrong? I'm really struggling with understanding why I'm not losing the same way as I did before. TOM never affected me in the past, so surely that's not the problem. I haven't yet started exercising, but even so, I should be at a large calorie deficit.
I know it's only the first week and the overall weight loss trend is what should matter, but I'm getting really discouraged. I'm starting to think maybe I've killed my metabolism and I'll be a fat, disgusting whale forever. Why else wouldn't I be losing weight like I used to?
The problem is: I lost that weight within three days. The rest of the week I have been teetering around 340-342. No change except for it being that time of month, still eating less than 1500 calories a day. I should be losing faster than this. I should be losing more consistently. What am I doing wrong? I'm really struggling with understanding why I'm not losing the same way as I did before. TOM never affected me in the past, so surely that's not the problem. I haven't yet started exercising, but even so, I should be at a large calorie deficit.
I know it's only the first week and the overall weight loss trend is what should matter, but I'm getting really discouraged. I'm starting to think maybe I've killed my metabolism and I'll be a fat, disgusting whale forever. Why else wouldn't I be losing weight like I used to?
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Replies
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Just be patient. It didn't take a week to put the weight on, and it will take longer to get it off. Sorry about everything else. Weigh your food.4
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Hugs! Sorry for your loss.
You are doing great so far, just keep going. It's not going to come off all at once, patience sweetie!3 -
A week is not enough time to see changes all the time. Your body changes, and the rate which you lose may change also. Give it at least 3 weeks to a month first
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Sorry to hear about all the stress and hardship you have been going through.
As for your weight loss, instead of focusing on the weight you aren't losing, focus on what you have lost. 8-9 pounds is a great starting point. Be proud of that. And stop weighing yourself everyday. Your weight will fluctuate daily and it seems like not seeing the number you want or expect is only stressing you out. So focus on how you feel. And like the person above said, the weight didn't go on over night, so don't expect it to come off in a week. Just keep working at it and focus on the positive results you are making like setting new PRs with your workouts and being able to button those jeans with ease.10 -
It takes time. You didn't gain all that weight overnight, so of course you won't lose it overnight either. It is important to remember to have patience, even though it can be hard not to get discouraged when you feel like you are not losing weight fast enough. You should try to make sure you are drinking enough water (at least 8 cups of water per day), and getting enough sleep, if you are not already, and see if that helps.0
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You haven't killed your metabolism, you are doing great. Keep up the good work and keep going. Feel free to add me if you are looking for new friends x1
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Please also remember that while TOM didn't affect you previously, our bodies keep changing as we get older, and it might be affecting you now. And since you are weighing every day, you will catch that slight gain even if it only lasts for a day or two. Your body is also adjusting to the new calorie levels, so it might take some time for your hormones to acclimate. And finally, most of my friends & I that are trying to lose weight have noticed that often it takes a full week for actions to show up on the scale. For instance, if I walk double my step target today, I might not see a bigger loss at my official WI tomorrow, but I might see a bigger loss than normal at next Wednesday's WI(my official weekly WI, what I use to track my weight on this app). 8-9 lbs the first week is good, and keep at it. You can do it, it will take time, as others have said. I will also suggest tracking your body measurements. As you continue, you might have weeks where the scale doesn't budge, but you lose an inch around your waist, as an example. Tracking more than just weight might help you keep you motivated during the slower weight loss periods. Good luck!5
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Please take a look at this thread and reevaluate how you see this week has gone: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear2
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Just hang on in there a couple more days and I'm sure in no time at all you'll be giving a big sigh of relief and have a massive smile on your face. Even a downhill road has bumps along the way, just grit your teeth and keep on the right track for another week or so. I am so sure you'll look back on this post in a few weeks time another few lbs lighter and closer to your goal.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you've had a rough enough ride as it is, just be patient.1 -
Hang in there with all the stress and tragedy that takes a toll on the body too. All stress is cumulative.
As far as the fat loss we all have to learn to trust the process, it's a skill you need even more after you reach your goal so right now you have to keep practicing positive mindset and focus on proces and life victory, non scale victories, and do not focus on the scale. It's not the best tool and the sooner you take your happy ball back from the body weight scale the better off you will be for life. Don't give away your happy ball, to others or to the body weight scale.
If you want to focus on a scale, let it be the food scale.1 -
emmylootwo wrote: »
The problem is: I lost that weight within three days. The rest of the week I have been teetering around 340-342. No change except for it being that time of month, still eating less than 1500 calories a day. I should be losing faster than this. I should be losing more consistently. What am I doing wrong? I'm really struggling with understanding why I'm not losing the same way as I did before. TOM never affected me in the past, so surely that's not the problem. I haven't yet started exercising, but even so, I should be at a large calorie deficit.
I know it's only the first week and the overall weight loss trend is what should matter, but I'm getting really discouraged. I'm starting to think maybe I've killed my metabolism and I'll be a fat, disgusting whale forever. Why else wouldn't I be losing weight like I used to?
You are older. Stop comparing to the past and just deal with what you are doing now.
It has been only one week. You have lost 8-10 lbs even with your period. Your metabolism is just fine. That is a great start and nothing to be discouraged about. Just keep doing what you are doing and be patient.4 -
I agree with all the previous posters. 8-9 lb loss already? that is super fantastic! I would like to mention stress can cause hormonal fluctuations as well and that will affect your weight loss. Just take it 1 day at a time. Weigh in once a week or like me I officially weigh in once a month. But periodically weigh throughout. Just don't stress over it. Keep eating healthy, add some fun exercises that you see as fun and not a chore. You will be golden.1
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Hugs all around!
As mentioned, weight loss is definitely not linear!
I'm back at it again after losing 40+lbs 3 years ago. After gaining nearly 30, I was at 222 Easter weekend. I committed to weighing every day, and boy are there some serious spikes!
Starting April 10th, I was 220. I slowly dropped down to 216.8 over 2 weeks (not consistently), and shot back up to 222 in 3 days. That was a combination of a crazy weekend (2 birthdays and a movie) and my TOM coming. I was super frustrated at first, then I came on here to vent and it picked me back up to keep going.
This morning I was down again to 216.2. So, when I hit the 1 month comparison next week, I still expect to have lost weight since I'm going to stick with it. And that is what is important, the overall trend. Day-to-day, or even week-to-week, it may not feel like any progress is being made. But overall, each day will accumulate into future success.
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you can't wreck your metabolism - your metabolism is designed to adapt. each time one loses weight, it's a bit different. that whole destroy your metabolism thing is sort of pseudo science, and the articles about the people on the biggest loser? those people were eating unsafely low calories while exercising for hours per day.
are you weighing and logging ALL your food and anything you drink with calories?
btw, i used to gain between 2 and 5 pounds of water every month during my period for decades, so this may not be the best time to judge whether or not you're losing.1 -
I think it will help if you focus more long term than short term. I, too, have given up on many a diet due to not losing as fast as I thought I should. I kick myself because if I would've stuck with it the first time I would be at my goal weight now:/ I saw someone posted awhile back that said the time will pass anyway, why not spend that time being good to your body:)1
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Thanks everyone. It's just hard to stop comparing this weight loss "journey" with the last one. I've been so depressed and stressed this past year that it certainly FEELS like I just woken up and noticed I gained all this weight overnight. I keep thinking I can just pick up where I left off (like walking 10,000 steps a day, doing high intensity cardio, lifting weights, etc.), and it's bumming me out that I am LITERALLY starting over. (I just went for a little walk that I previously wouldn't have even broken a sweat doing, so of course it sucks to realize how out of shape I've gotten -- now that I'm huffing and puffing with something so simple.) Perhaps I'm a little anxious too, because I joined an online "dietbet" and have to lose 13ish pounds this month (not including the 9 I've already lost).
I really appreciate everyone's feedback/advice/kind words. I've been tempted to lower my calories down to 1200... But it's only the first week. 1500 should be fine, especially for someone my size. I know this. I'm going to stay off the scale for a week or so. And, yes, I do weigh all my food, for those asking, and I overestimate whenever I'm not sure.
Thanks again. I'll come back with an update in a few weeks maybe.4 -
I am sure you will do just fine. I just wanted to add to the above that perhaps you need to be kinder to yourself. Think about if your situation was actually a friend of yours. I am sure you wouldn't say you are as a big as a house and all the other ways you describe yourself. You would probably say to her: You have been through a tough time, grieving, caring for your Mum and now it is time to care for yourself, I know you can do it, just take baby steps and it won't be long before you will be feeling better.
I know it is hard to turn off the negative self talk but try to be kinder to yourself, you deserve it!6 -
I applaud you for taking action and facing your problems - well done! You can do this! You are so young, and have a long and healthy life ahead of you. You have done an amazing job taking care of your mom through this terrible time, and now you need to focus on your health and taking care of yourself. You will be amazed by how forgiving and resilient your body is. The weight will come off. Focus on putting the past behind you and finding new coping mechanisms for stress - exercise and healthy eating will help for sure. And don't get frustrated or worry about stupid bets. You are doing this for YOU, and indirectly for your family since you need to be healthy in order to support them best.2
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I felt like this in a few previous unsuccessful tries at losing weight. It really is so much harder to lose weight now than it was in my 20s and 30s, and it kinda made me mad and whatnot. But there was no real choice but to work with this imperfect aging body I have now and do my best, and once I got that attitude I've kept making progress. I exhort you to do the same, original poster. Your metabolism isn't irreparably broken, and neither are you. Redouble your efforts and adjust your attitude as needed. Good luck as you sail on in your weight loss voyage.1
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If you're going to weigh every day, I highly encourage using a program to "smooth" out the line. Something like happy scale (iOS app), libra (android app), or trendweight.com (website, connects to fitbit if you have one). I use happy scale since I have an iPhone. I tend to be the exact same weight for anywhere from 2-7 days and then I'll drop 0.5-1lb. Or I'll be the same weight for several days, go up a lb, go back down to the original weight, and then drop some weight. It's not a linear process, but using one of the resources above can help smooth out that line so you can see what your body is doing over time.
Aside from that, I'm sorry to hear about all the stress you've gone through! Definitely not an easy time and I'm glad things are getting better for you and your mom. Hang in there, talk with people here who are going through the same thing when you need to. I only have 1 friend who is also trying to lose weight, all of my other friends don't understand. But the people here do 0 -
emmylootwo wrote: »Back in 2011-2012, I lost 150 pounds using myfitnesspal. I maintained a healthy weight for a year and a half maybe, then I started college. I gained about 40 pounds with the initial stress of my classes, but I was working my way back down again. Then a year and a half ago, my family lost my brother. That was hard enough as it is, but it also made my mom physically sick for 6 months, vomiting nearly 24-7. I had to take her to the ER 5-6 nights a week so she could get fluids and IV medicine. They would admit her occasionally, find nothing wrong, and we'd be at the ER again the next night. (Found out the trauma triggered something called Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, which she is managing pretty well now, thankfully.) Back to me, I ate and ate and ate to cope with everything, until my binges just become regular meals. A week ago, I weighed myself at 350 pounds. That's 50 pounds more than I have ever weighed before. I. Am. As. Big. As. A. House. I went back to myfitnesspal and started eating 1300-1500 calories. It's been a week now, and I'm down 8-9 pounds (which I realize is mostly water weight at this point).
The problem is: I lost that weight within three days. The rest of the week I have been teetering around 340-342. No change except for it being that time of month, still eating less than 1500 calories a day. I should be losing faster than this. I should be losing more consistently. What am I doing wrong? I'm really struggling with understanding why I'm not losing the same way as I did before. TOM never affected me in the past, so surely that's not the problem. I haven't yet started exercising, but even so, I should be at a large calorie deficit.
I know it's only the first week and the overall weight loss trend is what should matter, but I'm getting really discouraged. I'm starting to think maybe I've killed my metabolism and I'll be a fat, disgusting whale forever. Why else wouldn't I be losing weight like I used to?
Be patient, and please talk to a therapist. You need support too. If you are in college, it is very probably there is counselling offered, so ask.1 -
charlieandcarol wrote: »I am sure you will do just fine. I just wanted to add to the above that perhaps you need to be kinder to yourself. Think about if your situation was actually a friend of yours. I am sure you wouldn't say you are as a big as a house and all the other ways you describe yourself. You would probably say to her: You have been through a tough time, grieving, caring for your Mum and now it is time to care for yourself, I know you can do it, just take baby steps and it won't be long before you will be feeling better.
I know it is hard to turn off the negative self talk but try to be kinder to yourself, you deserve it!
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Sorry for your loss, I would eat a bit more than 1500 as your weight come down the wiggle room would be there, just so that you don't get fed up of eating so little for an extended period of time and start to binge, I would eat what mfp gave you to eat for 2lbs a week., small steps you have lost your first 5lbs and only lost your first 10, you got this.0
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1500 calories is below your BMR. If you severely restricted the last time you lost weight as well, you may have damaged your metabolism. Up your calories. Plan on going slow. Lift weights and build muscle. Get enough protein. Read this: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&referer=http://m.facebook.com1
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I'm so sorry for everything you have been going through. I can't imagine how hard that would be. Good for you for now focusing on your own health.
I agree with what everyone has said and have only a couple things to add. Since weighing everyday is getting you down and stressing you out, stop weighing everyday. Weigh once a week or even once a month. Focus more on how you feel and how your clothes start fitting.emmylootwo wrote: »Perhaps I'm a little anxious too, because I joined an online "dietbet" and have to lose 13ish pounds this month (not including the 9 I've already lost).
This works for some people but it sounds like it is just adding even more unnecessary stress to your life. Get out of this bet now if you can and don't do it again. Getting stressed about losing enough weight to not lose money by some arbitrary date is only going to make you feel worse and keep you in a vicious cycle of stress and unhappiness with your weight.
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Hi all, am new to this, am just on about 5th day. Had my third child about 10 weeks ago and am finally ready to truly lose the weight this time. Was at a good healthy weight about 9 years ago and then lost what would have been our first baby. Put on a lot of weight in the year and a half it took to conceive my oldest daughter. Then tried for 4 years before able to get our second daughter. Miscarried again the summer after having her. Then just able to have our son 10 weeks ago. Have had gestational diabetes with each, on insulin with last one. Put on more weight with each and am at heaviest I have ever been. Very depressing, but am going to do it this time for my babies. I tend to get discouraged and give up easily, my biggest down fall, so will be reading. All the replies you all gave her help me as well.
Also, I think she is right. Gaining or losing money over weight loss will only add more stress and even if you do win some money, I found in the past, it isn't enough motivation to really keep at it.0 -
As someone who would also get frustrated with the ups and downs and no changes, I stumbled upon mention of trendweight.com which graphs your weight and adds a trend line. On that website is the mention of where they got their graphing method which is something called The Hacker's Diet. It is a relatively short book that is also available to read in-browser at http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/
It was written by an engineer/computer programmer so it gets a bit technical, but for me that worked. He discusses later in the book the method and theory behind why he created a trend-line method for tracking weight, including why it's okay and even normal for weight to go up and down. But basically as long as your weight is still below the trend-line (even if it has gone up) it is still bringing your trend-line down.
It involves daily weighing to get a proper trend-line, but once you get to a point of maintaining, it shows you how you can easily tell more easily if your weight starts to trend up rather than just fluctuates normally. I've been using it for about a month and I can tell you it helps a lot seeing that steady downward moving line in spite of the not-so-steady scale numbers.
I highly recommend doing the reading even if some of the technical may go over your head. It gives a method behind the madness rather than just a blind following.0 -
How do you know all 9lbs was water weight. 9lbs would be a lot of water to be retaining. I think you are doing great. Just keep up the good fight. Only time will tell. You didn't "kill your metabolism." I don't think that is even possible without dying. Seriously.
Make some friends on here that can help support you. Be honest with yourself and be patient. You've done this before and it worked. Trust yourself. This might be a little too personal, but I would also suggest that you seriously look at emotional eating and ways to stop doing that. I am an emotional eater too. You can always tell when I've had a rough time of things because I gain weight. I'm working on that...I don't want to lose all this weight and then turn to food as a coping mechanism again.
Good Luck.0 -
I'd like to reiterate 2 things DON'T WEIGH YOURSELF DAILY and STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP.
I've been tweaking and trying different things for about 4 months before ANY weight loss, so view it as a process. Try different things for a week or 2, measure and tweak as necessary.
Much love to you.0 -
I am sorry for your loss ;[ I know my fitness pal treats everyone differently by height actively level and age, I just recently made it into the 330's and MFP has my cal intake set to 1970. Can I ask why you're only eating 1500 a day?
That seems so low for right now.
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