Living with a Spouse who eats unhealthy

MissusMoon

caammph wrote: »

I have the same issue, and at first, I expected my husband and kids to get on board with my new way of eating. But you know what? That's not fair to them. As @ninerbuff said, what thy eat has no effect on me. So we have come to a compromise. There is a snack cupboard. All it contains is their junk food treats- granola bars, chips, candy, etc. I never have any reason to open that cupboard. Out of sight, out of mind. I stock the rest of the cupboards with healthy alternatives and the fridge with fresh veggies and fruit. If I want a cheat snack, it's there for the taking. I hardly ever even think about it honestly.

I also do 99% of the cooking. That way I can control the ingredients and the portions. If the kids want pizza or burgers, I make it myself and control my portion. It's hard, but it can be done if you want it!

Excellent post! Any trigger foods are kept in a special cupboard here, too. I have the willpower not to go in there. I just have trouble if I have to look at it all the time.

tulips_and_tea

This is a problem for quite a few people, per the threads on this topic frequently. What you're doing now is starting a whole lifestyle change. It's actually better for your long-term success that you DON'T have your spouses support as far as changing his eating habits to fit with yours because this way you learn to do it for YOU and not anyone else.

Sure, it seems easier for both spouses to decide they are going to change their diets and do it together, but for one, men and women have largely different caloric needs so while you may be eating the same foods you still wouldn't be eating the same quantity. And then what if one or the other changes their mind? You have to then figure it out on your own anyway.

Bottom line is, eat the foods you LIKE but make sure the portions fit into your new plan. Once you see that overfeeding your body (whether on fast food or raw vegetables) is a bad thing you'll no longer want to eat the same quantities your spouse does. You won't be envious of what they eat because you will (or I should say "should") be eating foods you enjoy as well.

AngelinaB_

That's what I do at home. There is one cabinet with the "bad" stuff. He loves ice cream, fortunately for me I don't as much so it's good. He complains I keep "eyeing" his food tho. Lol. But I am not in a restrictive diet. When I was on a restrictive diet (keto) well I just didn't eat much with him honestly and he prepared his own stuff.

janineyb66

This isn't meant to sound mean, but it's up to you to say no when there are temptations. You have to have will power. My husband eats poorly as well. When he offers me junk food I immediately say no and that I want to do good on my diet. I also tell him to stop offering me anything in a firm voice.

You have to practice saying no. Seriously. Prep yourself before you get home by thinking of how the conversation will go and how you will say no. I know it may sound corny but it really works...at least for me it does.

Hope this helps in some way. Good luck!

rivkahala

I also struggle with this problem. We have been married a long time and we have tried snack cabinets, eating separate meals, but I have given up. Currently there is an open large bag of M&M's on the kitchen table, shortbread cookies on the counter, potato chips in his office. I put it away and within hours it is in my face again. It is up to me. The sugary, readily available high calorie foods have made me nuts long enough. I want to lose weight and not die early. So since that is what I want I have to be responsible. When he makes me mad, I focus on what I can do.....

mom23mangos

It sounds like you are battling some serious issues and even if your spouse does not want to change his eating habits, he should be willing to do anything possible to help you succeed in your case (if he wants to still have you around). I think your best bet would be to start cooking the meals you eat at home to what your needs are. You can offer him what you are eating and if he prefers to eat fast food, and you know its an issue for you, politely let him know that you are not trying to be rude, but that you need to go eat in a different room in order to not be tempted. I can't see anyone taking offense at that. You can't make him change, you can only change your responses. Remove yourself from the situation. Anytime he sits down with a snack, go to a different room. He will get the point eventually.

moniyq1994

I know your pain my fiance is super picky (if its green or healthy for you he wont touch it) and would rather eat unhealthy calorie dense meals, snacks, and drinks than healthy. He was also super resistant towards my trying to change my lifestyle. At first i heard things like "I don't like that your starving yourself" or "What happened you used to laugh at health freaks who counted every calorie" "you can't even have a piece of cake with me, you used to be fun" (the cake just didnt fit in the budget for the day) finally one night after he got mad at me cuz i wouldnt have a bigger bowl of ice cream i blew up i got tired of feeling like he didnt care about my health i got really mad and it was a big fight but turns out after i explained the whats and whys of what i was doing he stopped and after a little while he even started to help a little he kept his snacks and stuff out of my sight and stopped getting mad when he saw me weighing and portioning my food and recently hes even be open to trying new things (including green stuff!!!) he goes on walks with me and generally tries not to hinder my progress now but my point is just stick with what u need to do sometimes you have to make yourself an example and they may begin to change their mind and you may just rub off on them