Battling depression

KwaziiNeko

I'm so lonely, it hurts me so much and I'm up all night worrying with anxiety.
I see a therapist but it's not helping me at all.
I don't know what to do anymore
I need help, advice or something
I would talk to a family member but I'm so embarrassed about feeling this way and I don't want them to feel upset because I'm going through this.

KwaziiNeko

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PeachesNcreamgal

I get very lonely and that makes me eat things. I had other mental health problems to but I sought professional help. I am fine now But loneliness is a b!tch

amber76bailey

As a mother of a 19 year old college student, who suffers from depression and anxiety, not telling a family member is the worse mistake you can make. We almost lost her once because she was embarrassed. ...now she communicates with me regularly and is seeing a psychiatrist not a counselor or psychologist) the difference is her doc can medicate. Mental illness is no joke and can't be done alone! Tell someone! You will be suprised how freeing just making that step is.

amber76bailey

And sometimes it takes a few counselor to find the right fit. It's not one size fits all. They all have different techniques so what you've tried in thr past might not be what works for you.

dsgoingtodoit

I think Amber76 is offering you the best advice...from someone who has a loved one who has journeyed where you are. Otherusername's advice is dead on too....in my opinion. You said you have family. Let the right person into your world. Change your therapist.....and just do not allow that loneliness to dictate who you are. You may feel alone right this moment...or even often...but in this big world....God is with you...here on MFP...you have strangers going through their own journey...many alone as well... We all have to get through the tough times to become stronger. You must have something important coming your way. God is seeing fit to strengthen you now. I do wish you all the best...and just encourage you as amber76 did above...do not keep this to yourself. You take the power away from it if you accept that it is part of your life right now...but it isn't your whole existence. Side note...don't forget to rest and exercise...if you don't already.

MissNicolioli

Hey OP, I have pretty bad depressive mood swings too. Nothing feels worse than spending all day in bed because you just don't see the point of getting up.

But I agree with what's been said before, you should tell someone in your family if you are having a hard time. I know this from personal experience. Don't wait until it's too late.

My therapist had me keep a journal. Not just positive things, but to get out negative feelings and to assess myself in it. Mindful introspection, put down on paper.

Feel free to message me or add me as a friend if you need someone to talk to.

shadowfax_c11

Yes tell people. Seriously. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Depression is much easier to deal with when you have the support of people in your life. I have fought with it for many years and never really got a handle on things until I started talking about it. As someone above said, it is very freeing.

Also do see someone who can help you with medication if needed.

Ws2016

Depression affects your brain's ability to make decisions. Those with the disease tend to neglect important areas of their lives, auch as fitness, spirituality, diet, and socialization. It's tough to tackle life when you can't get out of bed. But take it a day at a time and don't catastrophize the future, eg "I will always feel lonely."

Like the others said, find the right therapist, find one friend or family member you can speak to (but careful not to unload all the time), find a doctor who can diagnose you - are you SURE it's depression - and prescribe medicine. And get out of your house or apartment and get some fresh air and interact with people. Help others.

Good luck

synchkat

I always remember reading someone's post on Facebook that it's okay to talk about and get treatment for cancer, why is anything to do with the mind so taboo. It's not talk about it and get help. There's no shame in medicating it's just like any other ailment. Nothing to be ashamed about, express what you feel, talk about it when you're down just get it out and get it treated.

beagletracks

The fact that you're reaching out is a great sign. Don't isolate yourself. I know that can be hard, and I know risking rejection from family members and friends can be terrifying as well when you're suffering depression, but you should not be embarrassed. I hope you will reach out to friends and family and tell them what is happening if that is what your therapist thinks is best. Again, I know from experience how hard it can be to ask for help from the pit of depression — receiving therapy and seeking advice are steps in the right direction. Best wishes.

gfjazz

Wow there are a lot of us. I too suffer anxiety and depression.thearpist does help medication does help
Each day is a struggle prayer I do that when I sit and think about my life.70 where is my rocker golden road loving children living grandchildren
I want a better life but have to accept this is what God gave me he must know how hard t is

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dbhDeb

I battle this sometimes too and right now, I am on a down. I don't know that I have the "right" advice for you but what helps me most is to just do mundane daily stuff and be as normal as I can, taking a walk, reading a book (positive & not depressing) and listening to positive music. Exercising does help even a short walk when all you want to do is lay down and curl in a ball. I just bought a new book today and am taking daily walks. My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie. {{{hugs}}}

Sarahb29

You should reach out and talk to your family about it and tell them what is making you depressed, if you know what it is. Maybe talking to them every day will help ease your loneliness. But also, find something to do during the day other than work that will give you something to talk about! Go to the mall and look at clothes, volunteer at an animal shelter or homeless shelter, whatever you'd like to do. I liked volunteering because I liked doing something for animals, I am a huge animal lover!

I used to think I needed a friend or buddy to go out and do something. It took me years to realize I don't need anyone else to go out and do what I want to do. Once you get out there and do something, you'll naturally run into people with the same interests as you. It was a huge struggle for me because in elementary school and high school, you meet all your friends there or in college, but after college I really struggled to meet new people. It took me awhile to learn the "adult" way of meeting people.

If you want a friend feel free to add me

Lleldiranne

otherusernamestaken wrote: »

I want to reemphasize that moods are like the weather. Sometimes you have to wait out winter, but Spring will come. Also, even in the summer, there are storms. And they pass. No one stays the same mood all the time.

I know a lot of people are recommending medication to rebalance brain chemicals, but I would urge you to try other things first. Exercise had been shown to be as or more effective in treating depression than meds. The side effects of those medicines can further the depression. (Hair loss, weight gain, suicidal ideation, diabetes, kidney problems). Just hold on to the idea that 1) it will pass and 2) with God, you CAN have joy while you wait 3) It can get better faster than you think if you pursue getting better every day with prayer, gratitude, exercise, staying away from things that make it worse.

Clinical depression is a medical condition. It is not only unhelpful but very condescending to say things like "it will pass" and "you can have joy while you wait." We aren't talking about transient sadness here, or challenges. From what the OP describes, it may be clinical depression (only qualified professionals can determine this).

I tried for 20 years to wait for it to pass. I am very spiritual and practiced prayer, gratitude, exercise, etc. It got worse because I was "doing all the right things" with no effects. Can you imagine how debilitating it can be to be told "you just have to pray more" or "have faith" or "try positive thinking" when you're already doing all of that. Basically, you hear "It's your own fault, you just have to be better." It sounds like the OP is also trying everything she can without meds.

I'm sure your intentions are sincere. But you wouldn't tell someone with diabetes to not take life-saving insulin because of the potential side effects. You wouldn't tell a cancer patient to pray harder and rely on God without also pursuing all of the medical treatments recommended. So don't tell someone fighting depression to not take medication. Again, only the doctor can determine whether or not it is warranted.

OP - if you're seeing a counselor and it's not helping, ask for referral to a medical doctor who can discuss treatments. I know it's scary. But please, don't suffer for decades like I did. Many people only need to be on medications for a short time and then can wean off. Others may need medication for a lifetime. But it sounds like it may be time to at least discuss options. For me, the medication has made it possible to work on all the other things (like positive thinking, prayer and religious practices if that appeals to you, even exercise and eating right) that didn't help before.

And talk to your family. I don't know your relationship with your parents, but chances are that they love you and know that something is going on but don't know how to help. It's really scary to open up and make yourself vulnerable - I even had a hard time talking to my husband! But having a support system to help you as you work through this is really important.

Best wishes!!

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Ws2016

otherusernamestaken wrote: »

I want to reemphasize that moods are like the weather. Sometimes you have to wait out winter, but Spring will come. Also, even in the summer, there are storms. And they pass. No one stays the same mood all the time.

I know a lot of people are recommending medication to rebalance brain chemicals, but I would urge you to try other things first. Exercise had been shown to be as or more effective in treating depression than meds. The side effects of those medicines can further the depression. (Hair loss, weight gain, suicidal ideation, diabetes, kidney problems). Just hold on to the idea that 1) it will pass and 2) with God, you CAN have joy while you wait 3) It can get better faster than you think if you pursue getting better every day with prayer, gratitude, exercise, staying away from things that make it worse.

Depression has NOTHING to do with moods. It is a physical brain disorder. Physical, not mental.

Simplifi

My wife has battled depression. It's not an easy bout, but the best advice I can offer is to try and create healthy habits. Get outside, hang out with friends, do something for yourself that makes you feel good, keep bright cheery atmosphere and a clean organized home, all of this can help. Also depression episodes can have triggers too, try to identify what they might be and do what you can to correct them. Talking is always important. Try to avoid long time by yourself until you feel stronger.

mostein

I also have depression and anxiety and struggle with feeling too embarrassed to talk to family and friends. It is important to find someone you can talk to. Maybe the therapist you see isn't the one for you, try another one maybe? I looked at your profile and see that you are a single mom, so am I. That in itself is very challenging. Feel free to add me if you'd like.

MsAmandaNJ

I found keeping a journal really helped me understand myself and what I was going through. I'd write when I was up, I'd write when I was down, then I'd read. It was great to get the bad stuff out, but also to show me that there were good things.

Your family wants you to be happy. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to confide in them, they are your built in support system. It doesn't have to be a big coming out party; even if you talk to one person you really trust, you'll likely feel better about it. I know it's scary to approach someone about this; you're not sure how they'd respond, but you'd be surprised how strong, helpful, and supportive a person is when they are confided in. Knowing you're getting help to beat depression will not make them feel bad.

If you don't feel therapy is working, you should look for another therapist, perhaps there is another in their group you can speak with. Like someone said, it's not a one-size thing.

synchkat

Ws2016 wrote: »

otherusernamestaken wrote: »

I want to reemphasize that moods are like the weather. Sometimes you have to wait out winter, but Spring will come. Also, even in the summer, there are storms. And they pass. No one stays the same mood all the time.

I know a lot of people are recommending medication to rebalance brain chemicals, but I would urge you to try other things first. Exercise had been shown to be as or more effective in treating depression than meds. The side effects of those medicines can further the depression. (Hair loss, weight gain, suicidal ideation, diabetes, kidney problems). Just hold on to the idea that 1) it will pass and 2) with God, you CAN have joy while you wait 3) It can get better faster than you think if you pursue getting better every day with prayer, gratitude, exercise, staying away from things that make it worse.

Depression has NOTHING to do with moods. It is a physical brain disorder. Physical, not mental.

This...and what if the OP is an atheist? Not everyone believes in the power of prayer.

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synchkat

We all have our own beliefs I'd appreciate you respecting mine rather than putting me down because I don't believe what you do.

My father is alive today because of modern medicine. I believe in science.

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synchkat

CONCLUSIONS:
Direct contact person-to-person prayer may be useful as an adjunct to standard medical care for patients with depression and anxiety. Further research in this area is indicated.

May be useful as an adjunct....therefore might help to supplement standard care.