Alone but not single
kristylovesyou14
Posts: 63 Member
in Chit-Chat
I've never felt so alone in my life than I do right now. Me and my fiance fight constantly and I don't even know why ...it's stupid small things I just can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do
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Replies
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Your not married and if you have no kids then you've been given a gift.
Better to have severe problems now than 2 kids and 5 years in.
This may sound cold but congratulations.3 -
We have a daughter he is not her real dad but the only daddy she has ever known I just want us to be happy the way we use to be0
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end the engagement and find someone better
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It's not that simple for me I have a hard time letting things go0
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kristylovesyou14 wrote: »It's not that simple for me I have a hard time letting things go
Couples therapy.1 -
Yea maybe0
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List out reasons you fight together..... And come up with compromises together.0
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Mainly money or the fact that I don't do everything he tells me to0
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Relationships are not easy. I'm so sorry you are feeling alone, it's an awful place to be in.
I don't know your relationship or what's happening , lots of people fight but if there is any abuse it's a whole different story. I'm Going to assume you are talking about normal level fighting . If this person is someone you see spending your life with there might be ways to Improve the relationship so you don't fight so much, and feel less alone. Sometimes feeling alone could be more about you as an individual than as a couple. Counselling? If you are a member of a faith community then maybe pre marital counselling ?
i hope things get better for you0 -
1. You could stay and deal with it
2. You could leave and start fresh. You look like a young person in your pic so you still have plenty of time to start over.
3. Make changes in your relationship - go to counseling-talk about your feelings before it leads to fighting and work on the issues.
Those are just about all your options. Nobody here can tell you what to do or even tell you anything that you don't already know inside. If you both want this to work then put in the work needed. Otherwise , move on now.0 -
Thanks I just wish that he wouldn't get so mad so easily I think we do need counseling but I'm afraid to even mention it0
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I would say definitely counseling. But if he thinks you should just do what he tells you, then that may be something that will never change. Keep in mind your daughter is learning how how a man should treat a woman by watching you and your fiance together. Do you want her to think it is okay for a man to treat a woman that way? If he is willing to change and will go to counseling, do it. I think people give up too easily on their relationships these days, but you both have to be willing to work for it.2
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Are you sure you are OK? In less than a page you reference controlling behavior by your fiancé, the fact he gets mad very easily, sad that you are AFRAID to bring something important up. Has he been emotionally or physically abusive? I am worried for you.7
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If he won't go or you aren't ready to ask him to go to counselling you can go on your own. Work on you and ask him to join you in counselling when you feel ready, if he's not willing you will have to decide if you want to continue the relationship or not.0
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kristylovesyou14 wrote: »Thanks I just wish that he wouldn't get so mad so easily I think we do need counseling but I'm afraid to even mention it
Leave.1 -
kristylovesyou14 wrote: »Mainly money or the fact that I don't do everything he tells me to
A relationship is a compromise between two people. Not doing what the other wants. I understand that you must feel he deserves a lot for being the father to your daughter even though he isn't her biological dad. My husband isn't my older two boys biological father either but he doesn't expect me to be what I'm not.
Your guy needs to accept you for who you are. Communication is very important.
So maybe talking about what you're not agreeing on would definitely help0 -
kristylovesyou14 wrote: »I've never felt so alone in my life than I do right now. Me and my fiance fight constantly and I don't even know why ...it's stupid small things I just can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do
The solution seems pretty clear.2 -
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kristylovesyou14 wrote: »Thanks I just wish that he wouldn't get so mad so easily I think we do need counseling but I'm afraid to even mention it
Why are you afraid? I mean, specifically.0 -
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kristylovesyou14 wrote: »Mainly money or the fact that I don't do everything he tells me to
This is controlling behavior. Add me to the list of concerned people on this thread.1 -
Given concerns that I share with others, I'm just going leave this here: http://www.thehotline.org/
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No abuse but he is kind of controlling I will be fine believe me I have been there before and won't let it happen again0
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Life is much to short to be unhappy. And as far as your daughter goes, I'm speaking from experience, it's much harder on her having you fighting all the time. She will be happier if you're happy.3
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It's not suppose to be. It just means you have a heart. Now that heart needs to recognize your own value.kristylovesyou14 wrote: »It's not that simple for me I have a hard time letting things go0 -
Back in the days, people worked through the tough times, now n days everyone just says oh hes not right/shes not right move on find an easier relationship where you can land peacefully and easy.
The everlasting love relationships have hardships you fight through, and or solve the problems together. You just need communication. a full long conversation with nothing being held back. And most of all two hearts that care.0 -
Don't stay together for the child. It's better to be from a broken home than growing up in one.3
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You need to think it through and outweigh the pros and cons of being in the relationship. Try to talk and if that doesn't work, see what you can do.0
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I have been in a very toxic relationship, and I can tell you that it is as easy as leaving. I'm going to give you a bit of tough love advice that I wish someone would have given me.....you are making excuses. Stop. You can leave. There is a better life out there. Stop using your daughter as a reason to stay because she needs a strong mom. You are worthy of so much better, but as long as you keep making excuses to stay, you are only going to get sucked into a deeper darker place within yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself this minute, and start looking for ways to make a better future for you and your daughter without him. I'm not saying it will be easy, but in the end, it will be very worth it. Most of all, ((big hugs)) because getting to the point where you realize you are sabotaging your own life by allowing negativity to surround you is never an easy journey.5
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WeepingAngel81 wrote: »I have been in a very toxic relationship, and I can tell you that it is as easy as leaving. I'm going to give you a bit of tough love advice that I wish someone would have given me.....you are making excuses. Stop. You can leave. There is a better life out there. Stop using your daughter as a reason to stay because she needs a strong mom. You are worthy of so much better, but as long as you keep making excuses to stay, you are only going to get sucked into a deeper darker place within yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself this minute, and start looking for ways to make a better future for you and your daughter without him. I'm not saying it will be easy, but in the end, it will be very worth it. Most of all, ((big hugs)) because getting to the point where you realize you are sabotaging your own life by allowing negativity to surround you is never an easy journey.
Soooooo do you freeze when someone looks at you?
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