Alone but not single

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kristylovesyou14
kristylovesyou14 Posts: 63 Member
in Chit-Chat
I've never felt so alone in my life than I do right now. Me and my fiance fight constantly and I don't even know why ...it's stupid small things I just can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do
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  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    Your not married and if you have no kids then you've been given a gift.
    Better to have severe problems now than 2 kids and 5 years in.
    This may sound cold but congratulations.
  • kristylovesyou14
    kristylovesyou14 Posts: 63 Member
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    We have a daughter he is not her real dad but the only daddy she has ever known I just want us to be happy the way we use to be
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    end the engagement and find someone better

  • kristylovesyou14
    kristylovesyou14 Posts: 63 Member
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    It's not that simple for me I have a hard time letting things go
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
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    kristylovesyou14 wrote: »
    It's not that simple for me I have a hard time letting things go

    Couples therapy.
  • kristylovesyou14
    kristylovesyou14 Posts: 63 Member
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    Yea maybe
  • hminhas1088
    hminhas1088 Posts: 28 Member
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    List out reasons you fight together..... And come up with compromises together.
  • kristylovesyou14
    kristylovesyou14 Posts: 63 Member
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    Mainly money or the fact that I don't do everything he tells me to
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
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    Relationships are not easy. I'm so sorry you are feeling alone, it's an awful place to be in.

    I don't know your relationship or what's happening , lots of people fight but if there is any abuse it's a whole different story. I'm Going to assume you are talking about normal level fighting . If this person is someone you see spending your life with there might be ways to Improve the relationship so you don't fight so much, and feel less alone. Sometimes feeling alone could be more about you as an individual than as a couple. Counselling? If you are a member of a faith community then maybe pre marital counselling ?


    i hope things get better for you
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    1. You could stay and deal with it

    2. You could leave and start fresh. You look like a young person in your pic so you still have plenty of time to start over.
    3. Make changes in your relationship - go to counseling-talk about your feelings before it leads to fighting and work on the issues.

    Those are just about all your options. Nobody here can tell you what to do or even tell you anything that you don't already know inside. If you both want this to work then put in the work needed. Otherwise , move on now.
  • kristylovesyou14
    kristylovesyou14 Posts: 63 Member
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    Thanks I just wish that he wouldn't get so mad so easily I think we do need counseling but I'm afraid to even mention it
  • grubb1019
    grubb1019 Posts: 371 Member
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    I would say definitely counseling. But if he thinks you should just do what he tells you, then that may be something that will never change. Keep in mind your daughter is learning how how a man should treat a woman by watching you and your fiance together. Do you want her to think it is okay for a man to treat a woman that way? If he is willing to change and will go to counseling, do it. I think people give up too easily on their relationships these days, but you both have to be willing to work for it.
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
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    If he won't go or you aren't ready to ask him to go to counselling you can go on your own. Work on you and ask him to join you in counselling when you feel ready, if he's not willing you will have to decide if you want to continue the relationship or not.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,035 Member
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    kristylovesyou14 wrote: »
    Thanks I just wish that he wouldn't get so mad so easily I think we do need counseling but I'm afraid to even mention it

    Leave.
  • lisciousg24
    lisciousg24 Posts: 189 Member
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    kristylovesyou14 wrote: »
    Mainly money or the fact that I don't do everything he tells me to

    A relationship is a compromise between two people. Not doing what the other wants. I understand that you must feel he deserves a lot for being the father to your daughter even though he isn't her biological dad. My husband isn't my older two boys biological father either but he doesn't expect me to be what I'm not.
    Your guy needs to accept you for who you are. Communication is very important.
    So maybe talking about what you're not agreeing on would definitely help
  • ncboiler89
    ncboiler89 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    kristylovesyou14 wrote: »
    I've never felt so alone in my life than I do right now. Me and my fiance fight constantly and I don't even know why ...it's stupid small things I just can't take it anymore and I don't know what to do

    The solution seems pretty clear.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
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    kristylovesyou14 wrote: »
    Thanks I just wish that he wouldn't get so mad so easily I think we do need counseling but I'm afraid to even mention it

    Why are you afraid? I mean, specifically.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
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    Kvm11628 wrote: »
    Are you sure you are OK? In less than a page you reference controlling behavior by your fiancé, the fact he gets mad very easily, sad that you are AFRAID to bring something important up. Has he been emotionally or physically abusive? I am worried for you.

    Same here.

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