Need help for friend who wants to lose weight

x311sublimex
x311sublimex Posts: 40 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I have friend who wants to get buff and lose weight. The thing is he is a extreme picky eater. Only eats burgers, chicken sandwiches, pizza, and fettuccini. He does not eat ANY kind of vegetables. He won't touch anything that a vegetable touched either. I told him in order to change he has to start liking to eat vegetables. Also he doesn't like home cooked meals. Only eats from fast food places. I'm having a hard time to convince him that he needs to change his eating habits in order to achieve what he wants. But for some reason he thinks he can do all that by still eating the way he does. He also thinks going to the gym once a week will get his goal within a couple months. Any suggestions that will help him think differently? He says he's dedicated but I don't think he fully understands the life style change he needs to put into it.
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Replies

  • jessiethe3rd
    jessiethe3rd Posts: 239 Member
    1. Advise him to see a doctor for an annual physical and have blood work done

    2. If he knows what his goals are... Show him the body fat percentage that he needs to be at

    3. Watch what the doctors say about his LDL cholesterol...

    4. Tell him it's all about calories in and calories out

    5. If he doesn't change move on... Let people figure it out of their own. zseszlobi08q.jpeg
  • Rhythmtracker
    Rhythmtracker Posts: 14 Member
    Does he do calorie tracking? I learned a lot about food by using these kinds of apps and doing calorie tracking. The most mind blowing thing was learning how few calories vegetables have compared to processed foods. If he starts calorie tracking to lose weight, he's going to have to face the reality that, if he wants to continue eating the foods he likes, he's going to have to eat a whole lot less food in a day to meet his calorie goals, or else, exercise a whole lot more. When he comes to that realization, you can show him the difference in calories between the foods he eats and healthier foods. Once you've done that, you've led the horse to water, and thats all you can do. Let him decide if he's going to drink.
  • richardgavel
    richardgavel Posts: 1,001 Member
    It's not the pizza and burgers that make it tough, it's the restaurants making them. I make both at home with lower fat beef and cheese, using personal size pizza crusts with not putting a pound of cheese on it, cut up a potato and bake it for fries. Do you think your friend could handle cooking if it was foods that he already enjoys?
  • x311sublimex
    x311sublimex Posts: 40 Member
    Thanks for the suggestions. I should also add that he is a 32 year old man but doesn't really move from his bed. (No he's not disabled just extremely lazy and only plays video games day in and day out). He doesn't work so all he does is play video games laying down in his bed. He only eats once a day from what his mother buys for him for dinner. He thinking eating once a day will help him lose weight but can't figure out why he's over weight. I would say he's about 20 pounds over of what he wants to be. And no he hates the thought of making something for himself. When I say he's a extreme picky eater he is truly extreme. Only likes what fast food chains make. Also doesn't help he only drinks sodas and alcohol all day. I told him he should be at least cutting down on the soft drinks and booze but he doesn't think that he can control that since he like caffeine but not coffee. Im truly out of ideas on how to motivate him. But he says he wants to get into shape and talks about it all the time.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Unless he's asking you for advice, or his lifestyle is somehow personally costing you something, I would just let him try it his own way. If by some miracle he succeeds, GREAT. If not, then maybe he'll realize that he needs to make some changes. If he keeps making excuses, then he's in denial and not ready to change, and no amount of talking is likely to convince him otherwise.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    This friend has lots of issues to sort out and has to do it himself
    A 32 year old who plays games and has food supplied by his mum, now needs to have people stop doing and thinking for him
    Step back abit
  • Enjcg5
    Enjcg5 Posts: 389 Member
    Yeah..... Time to find a new friend. Losing 20lbs is the least of his problems.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    edited May 2016
    tlflag1620 wrote: »
    Huh. 32 year old able-bodied person who doesn't work, plays video games in bed all day, whose mother buys his food (does he still live with his mother?!)... He's got bigger problems to sort out than losing 20 lbs. Like getting a job and becoming an independent productive member of society.

    ^^This.

    OP, your friend will never grow up and be able to do things on his own if he's got people like you (and his mom) doing things for him. Let him figure things out by himself.
  • x311sublimex
    x311sublimex Posts: 40 Member
    booksandchocolate12 wrote: »
    tlflag1620 wrote: »
    Huh. 32 year old able-bodied person who doesn't work, plays video games in bed all day, whose mother buys his food (does he still live with his mother?!)... He's got bigger problems to sort out than losing 20 lbs. Like getting a job and becoming an independent productive member of society.

    ^^This.

    OP, your friend will never grow up and be able to do things on his own if he's got people like you (and his mom) doing things for him. Let him figure things out by himself.

    Yea you guys are right. All I get out of trying to help him is frustration which really isn't worth it. And yes he does still live with his mom and has never had a job in his life so he does need to self reflect on what he needs to take care of before he try's to lose weight.
  • x311sublimex
    x311sublimex Posts: 40 Member
    So thought I'd give a little update on this situation. So I approached him telling him he needs to want to help himself if he wants to lose weight and regain confidence. He got really upset with me because I told him he should seek professional help with his mental issue (he has social anxiety and depression). He stated that he took that as an offense and that he doesn't need help. But I brought up the fact that he's 32 years old never had a job in his life never went to school after high school and stays in bed all day everyday just playing video games and relies on his mom to bring him his food every night. So in the past 10+ years he's been doing the same exact thing. On top of that he said he's fine as long as he's drunk so he can be "normal" around people. But I told him that's not how you can live a normal life. He didn't seem to really understand the severity of his situation. I asked him if he was happy with his life and he said he wasn't. But he said by 40 he will be living in his own raising a family(he doesn't have a girlfriend btw). I told him he can't do any of those if he doesn't want to get better. He didn't think he had a problem and that problem was with me "judging" him. So all in all he decided not to talk to me anymore and leave him alone. This became more than seeking help for a friend who wanted to workout and get into shape and I apologize as this is probably not the best place to be posting this. But I do thank all the people who commented on suggestions.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
    x311sublimex wrote: »
    So thought I'd give a little update on this situation. So I approached him telling him he needs to want to help himself if he wants to lose weight and regain confidence. He got really upset with me because I told him he should seek professional help with his mental issue (he has social anxiety and depression). He stated that he took that as an offense and that he doesn't need help. But I brought up the fact that he's 32 years old never had a job in his life never went to school after high school and stays in bed all day everyday just playing video games and relies on his mom to bring him his food every night. So in the past 10+ years he's been doing the same exact thing. On top of that he said he's fine as long as he's drunk so he can be "normal" around people. But I told him that's not how you can live a normal life. He didn't seem to really understand the severity of his situation. I asked him if he was happy with his life and he said he wasn't. But he said by 40 he will be living in his own raising a family(he doesn't have a girlfriend btw). I told him he can't do any of those if he doesn't want to get better. He didn't think he had a problem and that problem was with me "judging" him. So all in all he decided not to talk to me anymore and leave him alone. This became more than seeking help for a friend who wanted to workout and get into shape and I apologize as this is probably not the best place to be posting this. But I do thank all the people who commented on suggestions.

    Wow. He is clearly not ready for help. This is my opinion but the longer people enable him, the worse it will get. I think you've done all you can, and until his mother stops enabling him--or he is ready for change--nothing's going to happen.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    x311sublimex wrote: »
    So I have friend who wants to get buff and lose weight. The thing is he is a extreme picky eater. Only eats burgers, chicken sandwiches, pizza, and fettuccini. He does not eat ANY kind of vegetables. He won't touch anything that a vegetable touched either. I told him in order to change he has to start liking to eat vegetables. Also he doesn't like home cooked meals. Only eats from fast food places. I'm having a hard time to convince him that he needs to change his eating habits in order to achieve what he wants. But for some reason he thinks he can do all that by still eating the way he does. He also thinks going to the gym once a week will get his goal within a couple months. Any suggestions that will help him think differently? He says he's dedicated but I don't think he fully understands the life style change he needs to put into it.

    Well, to lose weight you really don't need to eat vegetables. I eat few veggies and I've lost 110 lb. And I eat burgers and pizza while doing so as well, in fact fast food hamburgers were dinner last night.

    He probably CAN eat the same things he does, but he will very likely need to eat them in lesser portions than he does, too; the gym alone is not likely to give the results he thinks it will.

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