Is this considered cheating?

b7bbs

To me that would be cheating. It doesn't have to be physical for it to be cheating. He wanted pictures of another woman's *kitten* on his phone to look at all day. That's cheating, and I would have broken up with him on the spot too. Who knows what other pictures he is asking other women to take for him. That's gross. He is a douchbag.

PRMinx

Extremely bothered. "The thought of not having you in my life is unbearable." He's written me letters and left them on my door at home, flowers at my doorstep, phone calls, voicemails, texts, emails.... He is completely taking the blame for what he did and admitting how wrong it was and telling me it was a one time thing he's never done anything like that before, etc.... He told me he'd quit this job and find another one if that's what I needed him to do as long as I would give him a second chance to prove he wouldn't mess this up. He said I was his whole future... I told him that I hope her *kitten* was worth losing our future over.

Oh....and this is all bullsh&t. He knew what he was doing when he was doing it. He just didn't think you'd have the stones to kick him to the curb. It's all about ego.

thesupremeforce

The breakup was justified because you did it. At a minimum, what he did was wrong and said bad things about the state of your relationship. If he was willing to be that blatant, you'd never have known what else he might be doing. Paranoia would have driven you bonkers.

jeromykaplan

It may not be cheating, but it certainly is inappropriate behavior both for someone in a relationship and for the work environment.


I doubt if having a 'teaching moment ' conversation with him would change anything about his actions until he matures (if ever). You are most likely better off.

Could not have said it any better my brotha

jeromykaplan

It may not be cheating, but it certainly is inappropriate behavior both for someone in a relationship and for the work environment.


I doubt if having a 'teaching moment ' conversation with him would change anything about his actions until he matures (if ever). You are most likely better off.

Could not have said it any better my brotha

mkakids

I consider it cheating.

monjacq1964

well, obviously he needed a picture of that *kitten*... too bad he didnt just look in the mirror, he would have seen an awesome *kitten*.

not cheating, per se, but definitely a **** move. Good that you broke up with him.

TyTy76

Extremely bothered. "The thought of not having you in my life is unbearable." He's written me letters and left them on my door at home, flowers at my doorstep, phone calls, voicemails, texts, emails.... He is completely taking the blame for what he did and admitting how wrong it was and telling me it was a one time thing he's never done anything like that before, etc.... He told me he'd quit this job and find another one if that's what I needed him to do as long as I would give him a second chance to prove he wouldn't mess this up. He said I was his whole future... I told him that I hope her *kitten* was worth losing our future over.

Oh....and this is all bullsh&t. He knew what he was doing when he was doing it. He just didn't think you'd have the stones to kick him to the curb. It's all about ego.

sizzle74

Only you know the answer to this. The things my husband and I allow eachother to do would likely make you pee yourself. I'm sorry he hurt you.

jessilyn76

at my workplace, they call that sexual harrassment.

pawnstarNate

I would just have to see the photo's before I truly and honestly weighed in on this subject :smokin:

sjsosu

I'm guessing the text(s) that you found weren't the first or only ones. These work "relationships" usually start out with some minor flirting and suggestive but ambiguous comments that present plausible deniability if one of the parties gets called out. It's sort of a testing the waters period. I bet if you could see the company e-mail or IM history you'd see a lot more of this activity.

By the time it got to the blatant level that you described, and seemingly welcomed by both parties, things were well on the way to escalating to all out cheating. There was an obvious comfort between them that was beyond that of just a co-worker or even a platonic friend. I think they both knew where things were ultimately heading, and for that reason alone I would consider this cheating. There was an intent. He told this woman that he lusted after her, and she did nothing to dissuade him.

Good move dumping him.

Lone_Wolf70

u should break up with him due to his terrible grammar. Even for text writing it was very bad.

Cp731

At my work there are married woman and woman that work w/their signif. others and the flirting is insane.
They all flirt right in front of one another, blows my mind. Its not innocent.
This one chick texts another manager all the time and leads him on, all the while is talking about her husband non stop.

Flirting is flirting, Truth is if your in a relationship and someone needs to be babysat when your not together decide if that is something you want or need in your life. Yes there is harmless flirting, but from what Ive seen at MY job, ppl are banging left and right.
It starts out with flirting, leads to pics which means there's a serious attraction there, no boundaries.

UrbanLotus

Whether its cheating or not doesn't matter, he is a creepy douche, you did the right thing.

Ali5683

Absolutely cheating in my opinion! He went behind your back, approached another girl, complimented her *kitten*, took pictures and didn't sound like he was talking to a long time friend out of fun. I'd dump the loser considering he clearly thought it was ok to speak to another woman like that, especially when he is in a relationship with another one.

JustJennie1

Sooo. . . was said coworker naked, in her skivvy's or fully clothed?

IMO it sounds like it was just a joke and had he really wanted to hide it from you he wouldn't have shown you the text.

Was it inappropriate for the workplace? Depends on where it happened and whether or not other people were offended, which people get offended all. the. time. She either thought it was funny because she posed for them or wants to try and get him in a harassment situation by having him send her the actual pictures as proof.

I personally don't agree that he's "just a few steps away from actually cheating". Sure there are instances where something like this could lead to that but that's a whole other issue between you and your SO.

Maybe I'm just out of the norm but I know 100% without a doubt that my husband would never cheat on me. I know who he texts and I know who texts him -- and vice versa -- and not because I snoop but because sometimes I'm the one who answers his phones and texts when he's busy. I have no issues with the women who text him because they're my friends as well.

Taking pictures of someone's butt will not automatically lead to cheating and neither does it make the guy a douche IMO because the gal was willing to pose.

Timshel_

It's just hard to get honest opinions from (*)anyone because they all have their own agenda

Fixed for truth