Vent.. Am I being Unrealistic?
Replies
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StephaniePadovani wrote: »Is there any way you could convince your husband to eat dinner a little later so you could hit the gym after work? I always work out right after work (my boyfriend actually meets me at the gym but we work out separately) then we go home, make dinner, walk the dog together and have the rest of the evening to ourselves. It means we eat a little bit later but it works for both of us. Perhaps this is an option for you and your husband (except the part where he meets you at the gym, obviously). Another question - are you doing a morning workout and then the gym in the evening? So two-a-days on a regular basis? On 1500 calories? If that's the case that might be overkill a bit. Also, are you sure you're at 1500 calories a day? Or are you assuming that based on the portion sizing on 21 day fix? Since your on MFP why don't you try to weigh and log the food you're eating currently and see where your calories and macros land. If you are already doing that then that's great, you know where you fall.
My BMR, which I had measured, puts me at 1250 calories.. I end up ~1500 after exercise. I do track my actual calories, not just assume. Sometimes I'm a little over, most times I'm in range. The cool thing about the 21DF is that you eat the right kinds of cals. As previous posters have said- I know energy in, energy out... but ice cream is not the same as lean chicken nutritionally.. even if the portions have the same calories.
Based on the responses I'm getting, I'll have to pay more attention to my food.. as I've been suspecting/working on... just kinda sucks when you're a health/fitness nut and your support system thinks you're already doing enough. I just needed an outside opinion to push me in the right general direction.
I get why you like the idea of 21DF, macros matter to me too. But I make food that meets my calorie and macro goal, and I have 100% control over what goes into my meals for maximum satiety. Usually this means I can meet my macros, stay within my calorie goals, not feel hungry, AND have a glass of wine or scoop of ice cream in the evening. And not relying on someone else's program educates me. This means I'm much more in control when I'm at a social event - I'm more aware of the calorie/macro content of the food being served, I can make better choices, and if I'm going to eat over my goal, I know by about how much.
You're a fitness person. You've been doing this a long time. You know how it works. I am too, but I spent all of last year spinning my wheels, not losing fat, and not making strength gains because I wasn't willing to tighten up my logging or be consistent with my workouts. Last year, I wanted to snuggle with my husband and watch a movie while drinking wine and munching on popcorn more than I wanted to watch my calories or go for a run. And that's fine. I own that decision. But if losing those 15 lbs are really, really important to you, own up to your shortcomings and do what it takes.1 -
xmichaelyx wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »He sees me spending all this money on Beachbody products, and actually said to me "You've been doing this for how long now... where's your Beachbody?" ... I'm always adding new products/workouts, and trying new ways of doing things.. and nothing changes.
Stop using "weight loss" products; stop changing your workouts. You don't need any "products" to lose weight; you just need to eat fewer calories.
What you need is a lifestyle change. Beachbody is not a lifestyle, it's a money-siphoning machine that exists only to steal from you and deliver nothing.
Here's all you need to do:- Figure out how many calories you should be eating, and eat that many with foods that you like enough to do it forever.
- Find a workout that you like enough to do consistently forever, and then do it.
Once those 2 things are accomplished, you'll look and feel great and healthy for the rest of your life. Don't try to complicate it.
Yeah, that's really it. I've never used any diet product stuff. I just eat food. And I even eat "crap" food, sometimes like for days on end. But I almost always manage to make it fit my calories.
It's the staying within calories is where the magic happens. Anytime I binge and go over, or "cheat" - well, no weight loss for me that week lol.
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Ditch the Beachbody programs/shakes, etc and use MFP, a HRM, and a food scale. Use the money you have been spending on the Beachbody stuff and gets some weights you can use at home. You can save so much time by working out at home, therefore still being able to spending time with your husband at night. You can still go to the gym, but if your spending that much time there and not seeing results, then you need to switch things up a bit and use your time more wisely.
Good luck!
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xmichaelyx wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »He sees me spending all this money on Beachbody products, and actually said to me "You've been doing this for how long now... where's your Beachbody?" ... I'm always adding new products/workouts, and trying new ways of doing things.. and nothing changes.
Stop using "weight loss" products; stop changing your workouts. You don't need any "products" to lose weight; you just need to eat fewer calories.
What you need is a lifestyle change. Beachbody is not a lifestyle, it's a money-siphoning machine that exists only to steal from you and deliver nothing.
Here's all you need to do:- Figure out how many calories you should be eating, and eat that many with foods that you like enough to do it forever.
- Find a workout that you like enough to do consistently forever, and then do it.
Once those 2 things are accomplished, you'll look and feel great and healthy for the rest of your life. Don't try to complicate it.
I never claimed to use anything as a weight loss product. They are supplements, which is different. I do not expect weight loss to occur from using them. I expect them to improve my overall health (read vitamin), work out harder and with more endurance (pre-workout) and help my muscles/tissues repair themselves.)
Again.. using the brand for their high-quality suppliments. Like people who go to GNC.
I've been working out.. with workouts I love (minus running because my knee no longer likes that) the consistancy thing is slipping though. Which is why I'm reaching out for advice.
Yes, agree.. I need to re-examine my nutrition.0 -
mskessler89 wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »Is there any way you could convince your husband to eat dinner a little later so you could hit the gym after work? I always work out right after work (my boyfriend actually meets me at the gym but we work out separately) then we go home, make dinner, walk the dog together and have the rest of the evening to ourselves. It means we eat a little bit later but it works for both of us. Perhaps this is an option for you and your husband (except the part where he meets you at the gym, obviously). Another question - are you doing a morning workout and then the gym in the evening? So two-a-days on a regular basis? On 1500 calories? If that's the case that might be overkill a bit. Also, are you sure you're at 1500 calories a day? Or are you assuming that based on the portion sizing on 21 day fix? Since your on MFP why don't you try to weigh and log the food you're eating currently and see where your calories and macros land. If you are already doing that then that's great, you know where you fall.
My BMR, which I had measured, puts me at 1250 calories.. I end up ~1500 after exercise. I do track my actual calories, not just assume. Sometimes I'm a little over, most times I'm in range. The cool thing about the 21DF is that you eat the right kinds of cals. As previous posters have said- I know energy in, energy out... but ice cream is not the same as lean chicken nutritionally.. even if the portions have the same calories.
Based on the responses I'm getting, I'll have to pay more attention to my food.. as I've been suspecting/working on... just kinda sucks when you're a health/fitness nut and your support system thinks you're already doing enough. I just needed an outside opinion to push me in the right general direction.
I get why you like the idea of 21DF, macros matter to me too. But I make food that meets my calorie and macro goal, and I have 100% control over what goes into my meals for maximum satiety. Usually this means I can meet my macros, stay within my calorie goals, not feel hungry, AND have a glass of wine or scoop of ice cream in the evening. And not relying on someone else's program educates me. This means I'm much more in control when I'm at a social event - I'm more aware of the calorie/macro content of the food being served, I can make better choices, and if I'm going to eat over my goal, I know by about how much.
You're a fitness person. You've been doing this a long time. You know how it works. I am too, but I spent all of last year spinning my wheels, not losing fat, and not making strength gains because I wasn't willing to tighten up my logging or be consistent with my workouts. Last year, I wanted to snuggle with my husband and watch a movie while drinking wine and munching on popcorn more than I wanted to watch my calories or go for a run. And that's fine. I own that decision. But if losing those 15 lbs are really, really important to you, own up to your shortcomings and do what it takes.
Good advice, Thanks 0 -
Ditch the Beachbody programs/shakes, etc and use MFP, a HRM, and a food scale. Use the money you have been spending on the Beachbody stuff and gets some weights you can use at home. You can save so much time by working out at home, therefore still being able to spending time with your husband at night. You can still go to the gym, but if your spending that much time there and not seeing results, then you need to switch things up a bit and use your time more wisely.
Good luck!
I do have some weights (I have a changeable set that goes up to 25 lbs) and I did think of quitting my gym membership and relying on at-home workouts.. but that would be a big leap.. and not sure I'm ready to let go lol I'll consider that an option though, thanks!0 -
My opinion is you should stop spending time and money on the products and programs and just eat normal food in the appropriate calories for your current activity level. Don't count on increasing exercise to lose your weight if you aren't doing it consistantly. If you can only workout once a day then alternate activities at that time. You could try getting some weights for home or do body weight exercises. There are lots of free workouts on you tube to add some variety.
If you are not losing at 1500 calories you likely need to check your accuracy and/or lower your calories.
I'm 5'4", sedentary lifestyle and 154 lbs and my goal is 1200 calories without exercise. I have to be more accurate with my logging at this point to lose weight.
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StephaniePadovani wrote: »xmichaelyx wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »He sees me spending all this money on Beachbody products, and actually said to me "You've been doing this for how long now... where's your Beachbody?" ... I'm always adding new products/workouts, and trying new ways of doing things.. and nothing changes.
Stop using "weight loss" products; stop changing your workouts. You don't need any "products" to lose weight; you just need to eat fewer calories.
What you need is a lifestyle change. Beachbody is not a lifestyle, it's a money-siphoning machine that exists only to steal from you and deliver nothing.
Here's all you need to do:- Figure out how many calories you should be eating, and eat that many with foods that you like enough to do it forever.
- Find a workout that you like enough to do consistently forever, and then do it.
Once those 2 things are accomplished, you'll look and feel great and healthy for the rest of your life. Don't try to complicate it.
I never claimed to use anything as a weight loss product. They are supplements, which is different. I do not expect weight loss to occur from using them. I expect them to improve my overall health (read vitamin), work out harder and with more endurance (pre-workout) and help my muscles/tissues repair themselves.)
Again.. using the brand for their high-quality suppliments. Like people who go to GNC.
I've been working out.. with workouts I love (minus running because my knee no linger likes that) the consistancy thing is slipping though. Which is why I'm reaching out for advice.
Yes, agree.. I need to re-examine my nutrition.
In the grand scheme of things, those supplements account for about .1% of your results. 99.9% will be calorie deficit. It just makes more sense to concentrate your efforts on the things that give you the most results. Then, if you have the time/energy/or money, work on those little details.
Putting that much time and energy into workouts, and especially supplements when you don't have your calories under control is like worrying about what color drapes you want for the bedroom when your roof is caving in.
Find a way of eating that YOU can be consistent with, and find a way of moving that YOU can be consistent with. If you can't do it consistently, it won't work. If you can't stick with 21 Day Fix and Beachbody products and workouts that find something you can stick with. There's no magical weight loss properties in any of those things.3 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »itsthehumidity wrote: »OP made this long post then deactivated. Don't waste energy, as she's not interested in feedback.
For others who may feel like they're in a similar position (exercising a lot and having the perception that you're eating well), you should be aware of the shortcomings of this person's approach. In no particular order, she's:- relying on products and services to do a lot of the work for her (calories/macros/portion control etc.)
- wasting a great deal of money on those products and services, which are unnecessary
- following temporary fixes and plans, and only "loosely" at that
- not preparing/weighing/measuring her own food, or at least not as much as she could be
- overall, eating back too many of the calories she burns off and wasting a lot of effort
No idea what's up w/ the profile thing. Again.. first time posting. Yes, I do prepare and weigh.. and measure.. my own food. And I get made fun of for it. All the time. I've never followed any "fix" "temporarily". I'm not usually one for gimicks at all. I'm just trying to do different things b/c what I've been doing's not working anymore.
You are getting made fun of for trying to take care of yourself???? That is by far the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard !!! My husband would never do that to me. He encourages every step of my health journey. When he sees me measuring my peanut butter or weighing my steak, he puts his arms around me, kisses me and tells me how proud of me he is.
I'm sorry but that really makes me mad that someone would make fun of you for trying to better yourself.1 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »
Good! I didn't mean anything bad by that but your page DOES say "user not found" which is very odd since you are still posting, but I'm glad you didn't leave!1 -
I'll repeat myself. You should seriously consider a (probably road) bike. A lot of cyclists were runners until an injury stopped them. If cardio/endurance sport was fulfilling and has left a void, cycling might be a way to fill it.1
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Just found this article today, and I think you might find it helpful. Good luck.
https://authoritynutrition.com/does-exercise-cause-weight-loss/0 -
Am I trying to do too much?
Yes. I would focus on calories and worry less about the gym. Plan to go to the gym right after work a few days a week but stay home (and work out later or at home or not at all) the other days. I don't buy into supplements but if they bring you joy then by all means use them.
How do I balance my personal time with my marriage?
Your husband seems to exhibit some immature behavior (mocking you for weighing your food, mocking your purchases and lack of success, etc.) but it may be driven from the fact that he doesn't see you much. I recommend having an honest conversation about how much time you expect to see each other and try to reach a compromise.
Am I being selfish or unrealistic?
It's not selfish to have interests and prioritize your health as long as you have the energy to sustain your relationship. I can't comment on whether you're spending too much time away from your relationship because that really depends on how much time the two of you need together.0 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »Is there any way you could convince your husband to eat dinner a little later so you could hit the gym after work? I always work out right after work (my boyfriend actually meets me at the gym but we work out separately) then we go home, make dinner, walk the dog together and have the rest of the evening to ourselves. It means we eat a little bit later but it works for both of us. Perhaps this is an option for you and your husband (except the part where he meets you at the gym, obviously). Another question - are you doing a morning workout and then the gym in the evening? So two-a-days on a regular basis? On 1500 calories? If that's the case that might be overkill a bit. Also, are you sure you're at 1500 calories a day? Or are you assuming that based on the portion sizing on 21 day fix? Since your on MFP why don't you try to weigh and log the food you're eating currently and see where your calories and macros land. If you are already doing that then that's great, you know where you fall.
My BMR, which I had measured, puts me at 1250 calories.. I end up ~1500 after exercise. I do track my actual calories, not just assume. Sometimes I'm a little over, most times I'm in range. The cool thing about the 21DF is that you eat the right kinds of cals. As previous posters have said- I know energy in, energy out... but ice cream is not the same as lean chicken nutritionally.. even if the portions have the same calories.
Based on the responses I'm getting, I'll have to pay more attention to my food.. as I've been suspecting/working on... just kinda sucks when you're a health/fitness nut and your support system thinks you're already doing enough. I just needed an outside opinion to push me in the right general direction.
If for your health you want to improve your nutrition, that's terrific. However, the calories in chicken and ice cream don't act any differently in your body. You say you understand that, but then go on about the "right kind of calories" as if you don't.
WEIGH your food. I get the impression you're doing a lot of estimating. Make all the great nutritional choices you want, but you won't lose fat until you're certain you're in deficit. I think you may be over-estimating your exercise burn, too.3 -
You should also pay attention to how much sleep you're getting. Sleep can be just as important as working out because that's when our bodies actually recover, repair and grow. Lack of sleep can actually put more stress on our bodies, resulting in the release of cortisol and thereby making it difficult to burn fat. I'd encourage you not to let this negatively affect your income and marriage because if you decide to have kids, then it will be especially difficult to maintain a good workout regimen.0
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canadianvampyregurl wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »itsthehumidity wrote: »OP made this long post then deactivated. Don't waste energy, as she's not interested in feedback.
For others who may feel like they're in a similar position (exercising a lot and having the perception that you're eating well), you should be aware of the shortcomings of this person's approach. In no particular order, she's:- relying on products and services to do a lot of the work for her (calories/macros/portion control etc.)
- wasting a great deal of money on those products and services, which are unnecessary
- following temporary fixes and plans, and only "loosely" at that
- not preparing/weighing/measuring her own food, or at least not as much as she could be
- overall, eating back too many of the calories she burns off and wasting a lot of effort
No idea what's up w/ the profile thing. Again.. first time posting. Yes, I do prepare and weigh.. and measure.. my own food. And I get made fun of for it. All the time. I've never followed any "fix" "temporarily". I'm not usually one for gimicks at all. I'm just trying to do different things b/c what I've been doing's not working anymore.
You are getting made fun of for trying to take care of yourself???? That is by far the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard !!! My husband would never do that to me. He encourages every step of my health journey. When he sees me measuring my peanut butter or weighing my steak, he puts his arms around me, kisses me and tells me how proud of me he is.
I'm sorry but that really makes me mad that someone would make fun of you for trying to better yourself.
Yeah.. it's annoying. But again, he has never had to deal with weight loss. He'll say things like "you're weighing bread?" or when we go out to eat he'll always laugh and shake his head when I have special requests, and say something like "gotta order the healthiest thing on the menu." A lot of the time he'll joke and tell me "you got to go to the gym! Just can't wait to work out!" He doesn't mean to hurt me by it.. but it does get discouraging after a while. Which is part of the reason why I've been a little unmotivated recently.0 -
NorthCascades wrote: »I'll repeat myself. You should seriously consider a (probably road) bike. A lot of cyclists were runners until an injury stopped them. If cardio/endurance sport was fulfilling and has left a void, cycling might be a way to fill it.
I really don't like cycling lol Which is fair considering a lot of people don't like running
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DearestWinter wrote: »Am I trying to do too much?
Yes. I would focus on calories and worry less about the gym. Plan to go to the gym right after work a few days a week but stay home (and work out later or at home or not at all) the other days. I don't buy into supplements but if they bring you joy then by all means use them.
How do I balance my personal time with my marriage?
Your husband seems to exhibit some immature behavior (mocking you for weighing your food, mocking your purchases and lack of success, etc.) but it may be driven from the fact that he doesn't see you much. I recommend having an honest conversation about how much time you expect to see each other and try to reach a compromise.
Am I being selfish or unrealistic?
It's not selfish to have interests and prioritize your health as long as you have the energy to sustain your relationship. I can't comment on whether you're spending too much time away from your relationship because that really depends on how much time the two of you need together.
Thanks for the advice, I do need to sit down with him and try to understand all this better. I don't want him to feel like I'm so into myself that I have no time for him.. but at the same time, I need this for myself and there's only so many hours in a day.0 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »canadianvampyregurl wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »itsthehumidity wrote: »OP made this long post then deactivated. Don't waste energy, as she's not interested in feedback.
For others who may feel like they're in a similar position (exercising a lot and having the perception that you're eating well), you should be aware of the shortcomings of this person's approach. In no particular order, she's:- relying on products and services to do a lot of the work for her (calories/macros/portion control etc.)
- wasting a great deal of money on those products and services, which are unnecessary
- following temporary fixes and plans, and only "loosely" at that
- not preparing/weighing/measuring her own food, or at least not as much as she could be
- overall, eating back too many of the calories she burns off and wasting a lot of effort
No idea what's up w/ the profile thing. Again.. first time posting. Yes, I do prepare and weigh.. and measure.. my own food. And I get made fun of for it. All the time. I've never followed any "fix" "temporarily". I'm not usually one for gimicks at all. I'm just trying to do different things b/c what I've been doing's not working anymore.
You are getting made fun of for trying to take care of yourself???? That is by far the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard !!! My husband would never do that to me. He encourages every step of my health journey. When he sees me measuring my peanut butter or weighing my steak, he puts his arms around me, kisses me and tells me how proud of me he is.
I'm sorry but that really makes me mad that someone would make fun of you for trying to better yourself.
Yeah.. it's annoying. But again, he has never had to deal with weight loss. He'll say things like "you're weighing bread?" or when we go out to eat he'll always laugh and shake his head when I have special requests, and say something like "gotta order the healthiest thing on the menu." A lot of the time he'll joke and tell me "you got to go to the gym! Just can't wait to work out!" He doesn't mean to hurt me by it.. but it does get discouraging after a while. Which is part of the reason why I've been a little unmotivated recently.
Sit down and TELL him that his comments are discouraging you and making you feel bad about what you're doing. Sure, you may not be on the right track yet, but you're trying and making the effort to make yourself healthier. Don't play the blame game either. He probably doesn't realize how frustrating those comments are. If he doesn't, simply telling him how you feel will probably stop them.1 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »canadianvampyregurl wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »itsthehumidity wrote: »OP made this long post then deactivated. Don't waste energy, as she's not interested in feedback.
For others who may feel like they're in a similar position (exercising a lot and having the perception that you're eating well), you should be aware of the shortcomings of this person's approach. In no particular order, she's:- relying on products and services to do a lot of the work for her (calories/macros/portion control etc.)
- wasting a great deal of money on those products and services, which are unnecessary
- following temporary fixes and plans, and only "loosely" at that
- not preparing/weighing/measuring her own food, or at least not as much as she could be
- overall, eating back too many of the calories she burns off and wasting a lot of effort
No idea what's up w/ the profile thing. Again.. first time posting. Yes, I do prepare and weigh.. and measure.. my own food. And I get made fun of for it. All the time. I've never followed any "fix" "temporarily". I'm not usually one for gimicks at all. I'm just trying to do different things b/c what I've been doing's not working anymore.
You are getting made fun of for trying to take care of yourself???? That is by far the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard !!! My husband would never do that to me. He encourages every step of my health journey. When he sees me measuring my peanut butter or weighing my steak, he puts his arms around me, kisses me and tells me how proud of me he is.
I'm sorry but that really makes me mad that someone would make fun of you for trying to better yourself.
Yeah.. it's annoying. But again, he has never had to deal with weight loss. He'll say things like "you're weighing bread?" or when we go out to eat he'll always laugh and shake his head when I have special requests, and say something like "gotta order the healthiest thing on the menu." A lot of the time he'll joke and tell me "you got to go to the gym! Just can't wait to work out!" He doesn't mean to hurt me by it.. but it does get discouraging after a while. Which is part of the reason why I've been a little unmotivated recently.
I vote you throat punch him the next time he makes a stupid remark.
Just kidding... sort of You do need to tell him that you find these remarks hurtful and he needs to stop. If he doesn't THEN throat punch him.
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MissusMoon wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »Is there any way you could convince your husband to eat dinner a little later so you could hit the gym after work? I always work out right after work (my boyfriend actually meets me at the gym but we work out separately) then we go home, make dinner, walk the dog together and have the rest of the evening to ourselves. It means we eat a little bit later but it works for both of us. Perhaps this is an option for you and your husband (except the part where he meets you at the gym, obviously). Another question - are you doing a morning workout and then the gym in the evening? So two-a-days on a regular basis? On 1500 calories? If that's the case that might be overkill a bit. Also, are you sure you're at 1500 calories a day? Or are you assuming that based on the portion sizing on 21 day fix? Since your on MFP why don't you try to weigh and log the food you're eating currently and see where your calories and macros land. If you are already doing that then that's great, you know where you fall.
My BMR, which I had measured, puts me at 1250 calories.. I end up ~1500 after exercise. I do track my actual calories, not just assume. Sometimes I'm a little over, most times I'm in range. The cool thing about the 21DF is that you eat the right kinds of cals. As previous posters have said- I know energy in, energy out... but ice cream is not the same as lean chicken nutritionally.. even if the portions have the same calories.
Based on the responses I'm getting, I'll have to pay more attention to my food.. as I've been suspecting/working on... just kinda sucks when you're a health/fitness nut and your support system thinks you're already doing enough. I just needed an outside opinion to push me in the right general direction.
If for your health you want to improve your nutrition, that's terrific. However, the calories in chicken and ice cream don't act any differently in your body. You say you understand that, but then go on about the "right kind of calories" as if you don't.
WEIGH your food. I get the impression you're doing a lot of estimating. Make all the great nutritional choices you want, but you won't lose fat until you're certain you're in deficit. I think you may be over-estimating your exercise burn, too.
Thanks, I estimate sometimes.. but I weigh and measure most of the time. As for the calorie burn, I may be overestimating it, but I use a HR monitor. For cardio.. they are the most accurate way to measure calorie burn.. however, I know that for strength training, the algorithm for calculating calories burned is completely different and inaccurate- that being said- I believe you burn more calories lifting than is displayed on the HR monitor rather than less.. (could be wrong?) but it's something to consider.
Yes calories ARE calories.. they are units of energy, no more, no less. However biochemically sugar is metabolized by a different pathway than protein. When protein is metabolized in the body it breaks down into amino acids which then repairs and refuels the muscles in your body. Protein CAN function as energy, but only when your carbohydrate reserves have been used. When carbohydrates (i.e., sugars) are metabolized, glucose (the by-product of carbohydrate metabolism) is delivered to the cells to be used for immediate energy to fuel all your body's processes from exercise, to breathing. Unused glucose is further broken down in the body and stored as fat, for use at a later time. Since these two very different macro-nutrients have very different functions in our body, you want to limit the amount of "empty calories" you consume. Thus.. the whole "all calories are not the same" thing.
From a scientific approach, the right balance of the macro-nutrients allows your body to function at it's highest efficiency. (Carbs are NOT bad! Too many carbs are bad.. and to an extent.. the types of carbs play a part in fat storage.. but that's a whole other discussion.) The problem is- every one is different. You can manipulate your macros based on the goals you wish to achieve (for example- endurance athletes "carb load" to build their stores of glycogen- that can be broken down to sustain their energy for the duration of their performance, and bodybuilders eat specific ratios to better build their lean muscle mass. So by "the right kind of calories," I mean the best foods I can eat to properly nourish my body conducive to fat loss.
For my body type and my metabolism... sugar is bad.. pretty much goes right to fat. Which is wonderful considering I have a huge sweet tooth. Thanks genetics.0 -
You should also pay attention to how much sleep you're getting. Sleep can be just as important as working out because that's when our bodies actually recover, repair and grow. Lack of sleep can actually put more stress on our bodies, resulting in the release of cortisol and thereby making it difficult to burn fat. I'd encourage you not to let this negatively affect your income and marriage because if you decide to have kids, then it will be especially difficult to maintain a good workout regimen.
I agree 100% and I will admit that I do not get enough sleep. I tend to burn the candle at both ends, which I think does play into my metobolic resistance. This is another reason why I was considering switching to a workout right after work before going home- I would be able to go to bed earlier. But, seems I need to get on the same page as my husband regarding this whole mess.
We have talked about starting a family.. which is another cause of concern on his part- how I'm going to handle being a mother and needing to to exercise. I agree, it will be a huge change.. but I also feel like when that time comes, I'll be able to find a way to make it work. It would involve some sacrifices that don't really need to be made right now as we are not parents, but that I would be willing to make (and probably would want to make) as a mother. I have already considered this and would be comfortable with those changes when the time comes.0 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »MissusMoon wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »Is there any way you could convince your husband to eat dinner a little later so you could hit the gym after work? I always work out right after work (my boyfriend actually meets me at the gym but we work out separately) then we go home, make dinner, walk the dog together and have the rest of the evening to ourselves. It means we eat a little bit later but it works for both of us. Perhaps this is an option for you and your husband (except the part where he meets you at the gym, obviously). Another question - are you doing a morning workout and then the gym in the evening? So two-a-days on a regular basis? On 1500 calories? If that's the case that might be overkill a bit. Also, are you sure you're at 1500 calories a day? Or are you assuming that based on the portion sizing on 21 day fix? Since your on MFP why don't you try to weigh and log the food you're eating currently and see where your calories and macros land. If you are already doing that then that's great, you know where you fall.
My BMR, which I had measured, puts me at 1250 calories.. I end up ~1500 after exercise. I do track my actual calories, not just assume. Sometimes I'm a little over, most times I'm in range. The cool thing about the 21DF is that you eat the right kinds of cals. As previous posters have said- I know energy in, energy out... but ice cream is not the same as lean chicken nutritionally.. even if the portions have the same calories.
Based on the responses I'm getting, I'll have to pay more attention to my food.. as I've been suspecting/working on... just kinda sucks when you're a health/fitness nut and your support system thinks you're already doing enough. I just needed an outside opinion to push me in the right general direction.
If for your health you want to improve your nutrition, that's terrific. However, the calories in chicken and ice cream don't act any differently in your body. You say you understand that, but then go on about the "right kind of calories" as if you don't.
WEIGH your food. I get the impression you're doing a lot of estimating. Make all the great nutritional choices you want, but you won't lose fat until you're certain you're in deficit. I think you may be over-estimating your exercise burn, too.
Thanks, I estimate sometimes.. but I weigh and measure most of the time. As for the calorie burn, I may be overestimating it, but I use a HR monitor. For cardio.. they are the most accurate way to measure calorie burn.. however, I know that for strength training, the algorithm for calculating calories burned is completely different and inaccurate- that being said- I believe you burn more calories lifting than is displayed on the HR monitor rather than less.. (could be wrong?) but it's something to consider.
Yes calories ARE calories.. they are units of energy, no more, no less. However biochemically sugar is metabolized by a different pathway than protein. When protein is metabolized in the body it breaks down into amino acids which then repairs and refuels the muscles in your body. Protein CAN function as energy, but only when your carbohydrate reserves have been used. When carbohydrates (i.e., sugars) are metabolized, glucose (the by-product of carbohydrate metabolism) is delivered to the cells to be used for immediate energy to fuel all your body's processes from exercise, to breathing. Unused glucose is further broken down in the body and stored as fat, for use at a later time. Since these two very different macro-nutrients have very different functions in our body, you want to limit the amount of "empty calories" you consume. Thus.. the whole "all calories are not the same" thing.
From a scientific approach, the right balance of the macro-nutrients allows your body to function at it's highest efficiency. (Carbs are NOT bad! Too many carbs are bad.. and to an extent.. the types of carbs play a part in fat storage.. but that's a whole other discussion.) The problem is- every one is different. You can manipulate your macros based on the goals you wish to achieve (for example- endurance athletes "carb load" to build their stores of glycogen- that can be broken down to sustain their energy for the duration of their performance, and bodybuilders eat specific ratios to better build their lean muscle mass. So by "the right kind of calories," I mean the best foods I can eat to properly nourish my body conducive to fat loss.
For my body type and my metabolism... sugar is bad.. pretty much goes right to fat. Which is wonderful considering I have a huge sweet tooth. Thanks genetics.
I think you are focusing on the wrong things here and have fallen under the sway of some heavy duty woo.
Sugar doesn't turn to fat for anyone if they are eating at a calorie deficit. If you are only working out a half hour a day you probably aren't needing to carb load right now. When you were running marathons and training for them I can see where it may have been helpful. Focus on calories and meeting minimum goals of protein and fat and if you want to limit your carbs do that, but you don't have to be perfect.
It just seem like you are trying really hard to be perfect and that has to be stressful, sometimes good enough is just fine, especially when you aren't performing on the elite athlete level. The human body is pretty amazing that way. Kind of like most cars, they don't need the high octane gas, they work just fine on regular octane.
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Montepulciano wrote: »Just found this article today, and I think you might find it helpful. Good luck.
https://authoritynutrition.com/does-exercise-cause-weight-loss/
I agree with this 100%- This is why I don't strictly agree with the calorie in/out alone theory. Every person is different and every body is different. There are a lot of theories out there that claim to have the best method.. steady state (running), intervals (HIIT), weight lifting.. etc All have their benefits and all need to be used for well rounded health and fitness. I guess I'm just stuck trying to make it all work.. I need more of a balance, and as previously stated.. I think need to pay more attention to my food :-/
The conflict lies in getting my husband to understand this.. because to him- "you've been doing this how long now?" It's frustrating when I know the answers, but I get minimal support.. though I also do see his point. Sigh.0 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »As for the calorie burn, I may be overestimating it, but I use a HR monitor. For cardio.. they are the most accurate way to measure calorie burn..
This is actually not true. There are things that only happen in a laboratory for research purposes, like metabolic chambers you can't leave where everything going in and out is measured; gas masks that measure how much oxygen you take in and carbon dioxide you let out; etc. For some sports, there's specialized equipment you can use on your own. Strain gauges are way more accurate than HRMs on a bike, for example.
I've sometimes used two HRMs for the same workout, they gave wildly different calorie burns. They can't both be right! Which means they can be way off. For a while I had a Mio Fuse wrist HRM, it gave me 2 to 3 times as many calories as I really burned when I'd bike with it. If yours is as wrong, it would have exactly the results you're seeing.
Ignore the highlight, it's not relevant here. The point is that there are several types of heart-based calorie formulas and some are much better/worse than others.1 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »DearestWinter wrote: »Am I trying to do too much?
Yes. I would focus on calories and worry less about the gym. Plan to go to the gym right after work a few days a week but stay home (and work out later or at home or not at all) the other days. I don't buy into supplements but if they bring you joy then by all means use them.
How do I balance my personal time with my marriage?
Your husband seems to exhibit some immature behavior (mocking you for weighing your food, mocking your purchases and lack of success, etc.) but it may be driven from the fact that he doesn't see you much. I recommend having an honest conversation about how much time you expect to see each other and try to reach a compromise.
Am I being selfish or unrealistic?
It's not selfish to have interests and prioritize your health as long as you have the energy to sustain your relationship. I can't comment on whether you're spending too much time away from your relationship because that really depends on how much time the two of you need together.
Thanks for the advice, I do need to sit down with him and try to understand all this better. I don't want him to feel like I'm so into myself that I have no time for him.. but at the same time, I need this for myself and there's only so many hours in a day.
Also, when someone has an interest then it can be difficult for the other person if they don't see the point. Your husband thinks your weight is fine so he probably doesn't understand why you're investing all this time and money. Ideally he's got to respect that it's important to you even if he doesn't understand your reasoning.
For example, I had an ex who played video games. (Okay, more realistically, I've had a number of exes who played video games!) I don't understand the appeal and I think it's ridiculous to spend money on games and I think it's a waste of time to play games. They enjoyed it though, so I accepted that as an interest they had that I didn't share and I didn't nag them about wasting time or money. It made them happy. As long as they had the energy to invest in our relationship that was fine with me.1 -
StephaniePadovani wrote: »The conflict lies in getting my husband to understand this.. because to him- "you've been doing this how long now?" It's frustrating when I know the answers, but I get minimal support.. though I also do see his point. Sigh.
I'm pretty active, mostly because I like being outdoors, and get bored easily but exercise holds my attention. Anyway, Beth isn't very active. I think some days I come home with a smile on my face and she understands, but other days, like when I don't want to do hill repeats but do anyway, I don't think she can relate. She knows I'm going to, and thinks I'm crazy.
But she's watched the weight come off my frame, and she appreciates that. Also I tell her what my goals are, and about my progress toward them. I'm mostly a cyclist but took up running recently, so she's seen me run a whole mile, a 5k, a 10k, heard about how I just ran a mile in 8:09.6, etc. Same with cycling. She can't really relate, she asked what a 10k is in miles, but she sees that I'm making progress and is happy for me, which makes her more supportive.
Why do you think Shakeology is better than making a smoothie with some other protein powder? I don't care, but your husband should if you can explain it to him.0 -
NorthCascades wrote: »StephaniePadovani wrote: »The conflict lies in getting my husband to understand this.. because to him- "you've been doing this how long now?" It's frustrating when I know the answers, but I get minimal support.. though I also do see his point. Sigh.
I'm pretty active, mostly because I like being outdoors, and get bored easily but exercise holds my attention. Anyway, Beth isn't very active. I think some days I come home with a smile on my face and she understands, but other days, like when I don't want to do hill repeats but do anyway, I don't think she can relate. She knows I'm going to, and thinks I'm crazy.
But she's watched the weight come off my frame, and she appreciates that. Also I tell her what my goals are, and about my progress toward them. I'm mostly a cyclist but took up running recently, so she's seen me run a whole mile, a 5k, a 10k, heard about how I just ran a mile in 8:09.6, etc. Same with cycling. She can't really relate, she asked what a 10k is in miles, but she sees that I'm making progress and is happy for me, which makes her more supportive.
Why do you think Shakeology is better than making a smoothie with some other protein powder? I don't care, but your husband should if you can explain it to him.
I have but he (like a lot of people) doesn't think it does anything. Honestly all the hype they (Beachbody) puts on it, I don't think it's worth the cost.. I am looking into alternative products. It's not really meant to be a protein powder, rather than a whole health drink (contains antioxidants, fiber, superfoods, vitamins, is low in sugar, no artificial ingredients etc). I don't like the brand specifically, rather I just haven't found anything better yet.0
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