Don't Set Yourself Up To Fail

Why does everyone want to lose weight so quickly, esp. when most of us have heard how unhealthy this is? And most of us have heard that weight lost rapidly is regained even more rapidly? I consistently read posts from women who set their calories at 1,200 when they could be eating 1,800 to lose weight. Or 1,500. Or 1,600. Why?

Why bother to join MFP just to ignore the formula that, as far as I can tell, is proven to work? Is this fear? Maybe. I know I used to think I couldn’t lose weight unless I punished myself, starved myself. I used to believe that losing weight had to be hard, that if I weren’t hungry all the time nothing would ever happen. I used to think that exercise had to be difficult and unpleasant. The diet/weight loss/feel the burn/restrictive nutrition/deprivation/bad food, good food/healthy, not healthy industry has everyone so confused. It’s disheartening.

Please, if you are new to MFP, listen to those of us who have lost weight sensibly and learned valuable lessons along the way. Don’t listen to that little voice saying, Restrict! Starve! Punish! That’s a BAD Food. I should CHEAT! I know it’s TERRIBLE but I’m having a brownie!

And please don’t believe all the hype about special diets that demand you to remove one of the three basic foods—carbs, fats, proteins. If you ENJOY your low-carb or low-fat diet, then by all means go for it. If you believe you need TONS of protein, then knock yourself out. But if you know deep down that you’re only following a fad diet so you can, finally get it right, don’t fool yourself. There is no “quick” fix. There is no “magic” food. There is no magic exercise or mindset or food that will make you lose weight. There is no magic. And you know what? There doesn’t have to be any magic because there’s YOU. You. All you have to do to lose weight is follow MFP. All you have to do is EAT. And move around, if you enjoy that. Then you can eat MORE if you like.

Please stop believing that you need to starve yourself to lose. And stop thinking I MUST LOSE THIS WEIGHT NOW! I must get this off by my birthday! Or Xmas! Or my class reunion! You don’t need to starve and if you do and lose the weight super fast there's a very good chance you will fail. You will quit because you're so unhappy.

There's also a very good chance that you will quit MFP and come back three years from now having gained the weight back and trying to start over.

So don't starve yourself. Eat ALL your calories and see what happens.
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Replies

  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
    Archercc wrote: »
    I have mine set to drop 2Lbs a week and that is still 2220 cal a day, I can not begin to imagine only 1200 a day. Granted I am 6'4" and way, way, way above the weight I should be.

    Of course you can't. It's insane. Only a very petit woman would need to eat that low, or someone who has other issues that keep them from losing weight, like a friend of mine. She didn't lose until she dropped her calories and stopped eating her exercise calories. But, even so, I suspect that if she had given it time she would have lost even so.
  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
    I KNOW. 2 pounds a week. And lots of these women (sometimes men) have only 30, 20 pounds to lose. You just can't lose that fast without killing yourself!
  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
    Thinking about it some more, I think that so many people just aren't knowledgeable about what they're really up against, or they are trying to outrun/outsmart the truth. The fact is that most people will regain the weight they lose and put on even more. It's very difficult to lose weight and keep it off. Our bodies, our brains work against us. There is ever-gathering science about this but nothing is clear yet. The only thing I know for sure is that fat people, like myself, are very unlucky. Now I am headed into the keeping it off phase and it is scary to think that I could slide right back where I was with no effort at all. It's so easy to gain weight. And gain. I think that I'm equal to the task, but I wish it were easier and that so much wasn't stacked against me. So really, I can understand the wild desperation of people who want to lose really fast so that it will all be over and they can get back to normal. I just wish they knew that this almost NEVER happens.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    edited May 2016
    Glad you found what works well for you.

    I agree about 2Lbs a week. I wish there was a way MFP could be configured without it. But I don't know how that would work.

    An yes, I think folks should find the approach that works for THEM. If that's lower carb, then I think they should go for it. I am part of the low carb group here and see MANY successful people. I'm not really low carb, but I love the group's energy.

    Whatever adjective folks want to use to help them choose more nutrient dense foods, meh. Doesn't bother me. Cheers. I'm off to enjoy my good carb, good protein, good fat breakfast. :D (being slightly facetious here)
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    I blame shows like The Biggest Loser. People think, "If they can lose 10 pounds per week, I should be able to lose 2."

    Also, I often see a mindset in women that they should suffer during dieting to atone for the 'gluttony' that led them to be overweight.

    Agree. Very few people realize that these morbidly obese people are working out 7-8 hours a day and eat like, 500 cals. If you're morbidly obese you have a lot of fat reserves so that's not a huge issue short term Dr. Now does it on My 600 Lb Life, but exercising that much is. Plus they promote unhealthy ways like dehydrating before a weigh in and whatnot. Not to mention a lot of contestants gain the weight back because what they learn isn't sustainable long term.
  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
    I think a lot of us are afraid of losing steam. I know it may not seem like a lot, but even at a rate of 8 pounds a month feels like a snail's pace. I am motivated by seeing changes.

    I know that I have to slow down now, but I am terrified of losing momentum when I stop seeing any incremental changes (and I know you'll say you can but this is already torture for me).

    I think the difficulty for me is that I am 5'2, I eat way more than 1200 calories but my net is probably at 1200 because I exercise a lot and eyeball, so I am totally satisfied. The weight is coming off at 1.5 (it started at 2) pounds a week, I feel healthier and happier than I have in years.

    Do I really HAVE to go against what everything in my body is telling me is right?

    I certainly don't think you should go against what you're body is telling you! If you are happy at a low calorie allowance, then that's awesome.

    I wrote this post in response to what I read so often--"Why can't I lose weight? I'm eating 1,200 calories a day and I work out 5 hours a day why can't I lose weight?"
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    Why does everyone want to lose weight so quickly, esp. when most of us have heard how unhealthy this is? And most of us have heard that weight lost rapidly is regained even more rapidly? I consistently read posts from women who set their calories at 1,200 when they could be eating 1,800 to lose weight. Or 1,500. Or 1,600. Why?

    Why bother to join MFP just to ignore the formula that, as far as I can tell, is proven to work? Is this fear? Maybe. I know I used to think I couldn’t lose weight unless I punished myself, starved myself. I used to believe that losing weight had to be hard, that if I weren’t hungry all the time nothing would ever happen. I used to think that exercise had to be difficult and unpleasant. The diet/weight loss/feel the burn/restrictive nutrition/deprivation/bad food, good food/healthy, not healthy industry has everyone so confused. It’s disheartening.

    Please, if you are new to MFP, listen to those of us who have lost weight sensibly and learned valuable lessons along the way. Don’t listen to that little voice saying, Restrict! Starve! Punish! That’s a BAD Food. I should CHEAT! I know it’s TERRIBLE but I’m having a brownie!

    And please don’t believe all the hype about special diets that demand you to remove one of the three basic foods—carbs, fats, proteins. If you ENJOY your low-carb or low-fat diet, then by all means go for it. If you believe you need TONS of protein, then knock yourself out. But if you know deep down that you’re only following a fad diet so you can, finally get it right, don’t fool yourself. There is no “quick” fix. There is no “magic” food. There is no magic exercise or mindset or food that will make you lose weight. There is no magic. And you know what? There doesn’t have to be any magic because there’s YOU. You. All you have to do to lose weight is follow MFP. All you have to do is EAT. And move around, if you enjoy that. Then you can eat MORE if you like.

    Please stop believing that you need to starve yourself to lose. And stop thinking I MUST LOSE THIS WEIGHT NOW! I must get this off by my birthday! Or Xmas! Or my class reunion! You don’t need to starve and if you do and lose the weight super fast there's a very good chance you will fail. You will quit because you're so unhappy.

    There's also a very good chance that you will quit MFP and come back three years from now having gained the weight back and trying to start over.

    So don't starve yourself. Eat ALL your calories and see what happens.

    You......

    I like. :)

    Well said!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    sarahthes wrote: »
    For some of us, 2 lbs/week is the appropriate choice, at least starting out. My BMI is over 40. I have lost 27 lbs since September (including holiday gains and re-losing and then maintaining for a while). I have 95 lbs left to lose just to get to a BMI of 24.9. I eat 1200-2400 calories per day depending on activity and hunger, but usually I'm between 1500-1800. I've lost 16 lbs in the past 8 weeks.

    Sara, 2 pounds week is appropriate for anyone who has a lot to lose because the risks of staying overweight usually outweigh the risk of losing weight quickly. However, there are people who balk about not losing weight quick enough when they are around a normal weight and have maybe five or ten pounds to lose. :)
  • tomteboda
    tomteboda Posts: 2,171 Member
    I am amazed daily that my maintenence calories at my current weight are nearly 2000 even if I'm entirely sedentary. I used to be 90+ pounds heavier, and I thought (without tracking) that I "only ate 1500-1600 calories a day" of course when mfp told me I could lose on 2000/day at that time I didn't believe it. It's probably just a well I didn't because it took months to get the habit of completely accurate logging down.
  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
    fr33sia12 wrote: »
    I've been eating around 1200-1300 calories a day now for the last 5 weeks. I haven't once gone to bed hungry or woke up starving. I eat what I want, when I want and I'm not punishing myself or starving myself, I'm not miserable, in fact I'm happier I've been in a long time. Also if you look at my diary I'm getting plenty of nutrition too.
    While I'm definitely not disagreeing with you entirely, losing 2lb a week can be a healthy amount to lose. I had a check up with my doctor and he said everything's great, I'm not losing too quickly and I should keep doing what I'm doing.
    Obviously if you want to eat more and lose at a slower pace that's entirely up to each person, but so is eating a little less and losing a little quicker.

    Yes! If you are happy, losing weight, and feel confident you can maintain what you're doing, then good for you! But, again, I wrote this post in response to people who eat 1200 calories and fail, or are miserable, or depressed, or can't lose weight doing what they're doing.