Hard work not paying off
jlkcmk
Posts: 14 Member
My husband has been dieting and exercising for 3 weeks. I was busting his chops until I had my annual physical with my Doctor last week and realized how bad I let myself go. I decided something needed to change. I've been eating nothing but vegetables and protein .. I even joined a gym and have been going everyday after work. My goal is to lose 40lbs l. I don't expect miracles overnight but I feel like I've been killing myself for the past week and half and only lost 2lbs to show for it. Meanwhile my husband is dropping 5lbs a week but were both on the same regimen. He hits the gym harder as I am in the process of quitting smoking but its discouraging to give up all the foods I love, wake up sore from my previous nights workout to not see a little result.
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Replies
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Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.19 -
kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement.
Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
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Week and a half =/= hard work.
Put in 4-6 months of effort and then you can say that you've worked hard. Then, if you've got no progress to show for it, you can say it didn't pay off.12 -
Yep, as stated above, men can lose faster because they have more muscle mass than we do and a naturally lower body fat % to be healthy. They are always and forever going to have that advantage. Nothing you can do about it.
And also as stated, you have to understand this process is SLOW. So you're going to be doing it for a while - a lifetime if you want to maintain your results.7 -
kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.
Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.
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If it's torture, change what you're doing. Or keep torturing yourself, if that's your thing. Just remember:
1. The safe word is "banana."
2. If you want to quit, you can change your calorie goals to lose 1 or .5 pounds a week and just lose weight slower instead.
Good luck. Starting was the hard part for me, and learning to have my treats in moderation. Now things feel much, much easier.
For what it's worth, I'll plan all my meals for weight loss, make dinner (the shared family meal) my high calorie meal, and still watch my husband lose weight just because he's eating less at dinner. I'm happy for him, but it is still frustrating. I call it his "second hand weight loss."1 -
My husband has been dieting and exercising for 3 weeks. I was busting his chops until I had my annual physical with my Doctor last week and realized how bad I let myself go. I decided something needed to change. I've been eating nothing but vegetables and protein .. I even joined a gym and have been going everyday after work. My goal is to lose 40lbs l. I don't expect miracles overnight but I feel like I've been killing myself for the past week and half and only lost 2lbs to show for it. Meanwhile my husband is dropping 5lbs a week but were both on the same regimen. He hits the gym harder as I am in the process of quitting smoking but its discouraging to give up all the foods I love, wake up sore from my previous nights workout to not see a little result.
My wife and I recently visited a nutritionist for our health care provider. She told my wife to balance meals that have 30 carbs and 15 proteins. I asked about calories and fats and she said, trust me, if you stick to the 30 carbs and 15 proteins for each meal, then you will lose weight. That is for main meals, not snacks. I'm sorry, but I can't remember exactly what she said about snacks. But she also said that men lose weight more easily because they tend to have more lean muscle mass than women do. Good Luck!!0 -
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
The good news is, with CICO you can still have your pizza and eat broccoli too. Honestly the easiest way to transition to this new lifestyle is to #1, count calories. Just worry about that for now. Don't worry about carbs vs non carbs etc. Keep it SIMPLE to start. Calorie cutting for weight loss. Period.
Work your pizza into your plan for the day. If I know I am going to have a calorie dense evening meal, I make room for it ahead of time, either by eating a very calorie-light lunch (like a big salad with light dressing), an extra workout at the gym or 30 minute walk, or both. Sometimes, I can eat a very late morning but hearty breakfast (think egg / bacon / cheese sandwich) and let that carry me through lunch - 2 meals for the calories of one; have a light snack, and then chow down on WHATEVER IT IS I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR at dinner - whether it's pizza, a big burger, or whatnot.
I have also been able to satisfy my pizza craving with a single small slice, paired with a gigantic salad and a tall glass of water, which I consume FIRST, so I'm partially full before I even bite into the pizza. Then the single slice of pizza is "just enough."
Now of course it has to remain within reason, and you have to be balanced. Not a good idea to save your calories all day and skip meals so you can eat oreos and ice cream for supper every day. It probably wouldn't have occurred to you but some anti-CICO person will probably jump on that bandwagon right away and say something that absurd as an argument, lol
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You can't compare yourself to anyone else, especially men. Chances are he has more weight to lose than you, plus he has a higher TDEE...meaning he burns more in a day and it's easier for him to create a nice cushy deficit. If I was to compare myself to a 200lb man I would certainly assume he would be losing fat faster than me.1
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2lbs in 1 1/2 weeks is great progress! be patient, keep going and you will keep seeing results.
Aim for 1lb per week loss.
Don't compare your weight loss to anyone else, that only sets you up for disappointment.
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Avg weight loss for someone who's trying really hard should be no more than 2lbs a week on average. If it's more you're probably dieting too much. If you want to lose 40 lbs, it's going to take at least 20 weeks, probably 30 (because everyone needs a break or a cheat day once in a while). So figure on 30 weeks and see where you are and see if you believe the hard work is paying off. Just remember, it's a heck of a lot easier to put weight on then take it off, and it'll take even twice as long to build muscle so keep up the hard work and you'll start seeing and/or feeling results in a few weeks.3
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You lost two whole pounds in a week! Congratulations!9
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I didn't see anyone else mention this either - but keep in mind there is probably some water retention from the working out - muscles retain some water when they are in repair mode from working out. I would advise taking measurements as well as weighing yourself and you'll see that although the number on the scale may not be going down quickly, your body is changing 5
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amusedmonkey wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.
Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.
The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging 0 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.
Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.
The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging
That's when you play around with your macro percentages and meal sizes in order to feel more satiated. If I don't eat enough protein and fat early in the day I get hungry and pretty much stay that way.
Calorie counting is great because you can eat whatever works for you, not just salad. It doesn't sound like salad is working so mix things up until you find a food combo that keeps you satiated. Some people like frequent small meals and some like one or two big meals. It doesn't matter when you eat your calories, just how many calories you are eating.2 -
The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging
It would help if you told us more about your goals: how much you've got to lose, what you set your weight loss goal to be, what your daily calorie allowance is, etc. Perhaps your goal is too aggressive and not giving you enough daily calories? Are you eating some of your exercise calories back?
A salad, especially if its mainly or all lettuce leaves, is a pretty small lunch and would leave most of us hungry quickly.
More info and we may be able to help you figure this out.
A 2lb/week loss is aggressive.
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kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
Don't make it torture! Spend several weeks logging your current diet, and see how much it is. Then start decreasing it. I was eating 2500+ per day, and switching to 1400 made me almost literally want to die. It was TORTURE. There is absolutely no need to be miserable. Losing at a slow rate means a better mastery of the skills needed to be successful. Instead of focusing on LBS disappearing, focus on good habits and building them to be strong.
Taking the pressure off makes it a much more enjoyable experience. I'm not miserable at all and am losing weight. Maybe not the fastest, but I am so much more sure that this WILL last.3 -
It shouldn't be torture! I couldn't live without carbs. I'm eating pretty much everything I want to eat and just watching CICO. Switch it up and find out what combination of macros keep you satiated.2
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I've lost 110 lb so far, and it's definitely not torture. It's not even all that difficult, it's just mainly been time consuming.
But then - it doesn't end when you reach your goal. Keeping the weight off is a lifetime thing. I only do things to lose weight that I'm fine doing for the rest of my life, because it is going to be something I need to do for the rest of my life.7 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.
Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.
The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging
Have you actually set up your profile? Count calories and enjoy some real food. You will lose.3 -
MissusMoon wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.
Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.
The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging
Have you actually set up your profile? Count calories and enjoy some real food. You will lose.
Yes, I've been logging in every single thing I ingest into the app. its very helpful! The first week is always the toughest I've heard so I'm just trying to adapt to the change. I ended up cheating last night with a slice of pepperoni pizza and its crazy because all week I thought I wanted it but afterwards, I felt guilty and my body felt different. I'm glad I caved because it made me realize I don't want that food anymore lol 5 -
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MissusMoon wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »Don't compare yourself to others. Especially not to someone of another gender. Men typically lose faster and build more muscles than women, because of their higher levels of testosterone. But men also need to have a lower fat% to be healthy, so it evens out. Don't be jealous.
Please don't "kill yourself". You don't have to, and shouldn't, exhaust yourself or eat a boring diet. Move more and eat food you like in appropriate portions. That's what it takes. It also takes a long, long time. So it's important that you like what you're doing, if you want to get noticeable results. One week won't make much difference for your weight. How much you can lose per week, depends on how much you have to lose. With 40 pounds to lose they would come off at 1.5 per week at this stage. Later it will be slower. Weight also fluctuates independently from fat loss/gain, so you need lots of data points over a long time to see the trend.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. Its a huge change for me and I struggle with it everyday. I went from pizza & snacks to fish & broccoli its torture in the beginning lol
Your husband is a man, likely taller and heavier than you are, and as you said he is more active. Eating the same quantities would result in more weight loss for him than you because he has a bigger more muscular body to fuel. If anything, you are actually doing better than your husband. Losses beyond 1% of your body weight a week are not healthy.
Not much to add to the above post regarding weight fluctuations and portions except that by torturing yourself you are setting yourself up for failure. You may need close to a year to lose all of your desired weight, so the easier you make it for yourself the better. Count your calories as accurately as possible and trust the process. What exactly is making this a struggle? Are you feeling hungry all the time? Are you not enjoying your food choices? Are you being tempted by other choices? Because each of these can be tackled in a way to make the dieting process easier and less stressful.
The always being hungry is the only tortuous part. I eat salad for lunch and not even an hour later I'm hungry again. If I could eat and be filled up then it wouldn't be so challenging
Have you actually set up your profile? Count calories and enjoy some real food. You will lose.
Yes, I've been logging in every single thing I ingest into the app. its very helpful! The first week is always the toughest I've heard so I'm just trying to adapt to the change. I ended up cheating last night with a slice of pepperoni pizza and its crazy because all week I thought I wanted it but afterwards, I felt guilty and my body felt different. I'm glad I caved because it made me realize I don't want that food anymore lol
Counting calories/tracking intake and just eating food you like means that you're not "on a diet" and cheating becomes meaningless! You can eat anything you want, just log it, and aim to hit your goal. And you decide what you want. You can ask yourself some questions to determine that - is this something I like, and am I hungry? Will it satisfy me or will I be ravenous afterwards? Can I "afford it" calorie wise, or is it worth going over today just because it's sooo good and a year till next opportunity? Do I eat it just because it's there/it's Friday/my friends eat it/I think someone will be disappointed if I don't accept it/it will be thrown away if nobody eats it? You're not supposed to feel guilty after you eat, work on that, too.4 -
Try not to make WHAT you're eating the issue but rather how much of it you are eating.
On my weekends I was eating junk food and drinking a six pack of beer a night, and not the watered down stuff, the micros with all the calories. I started my weight loss plan and now I still drink beer, but it's in the form of one 22oz bottle a week...way less calories and I don't feel like I've given something up completely. A few days ago I had a couple slices of deep dish pizza and thought I had screwed up big time only to find I had lost 2.8 lbs that week. If it means 20 minutes longer on the treadmill or giving up dessert that evening then do it...but you have to reward yourself every now and again...
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The thing to remember is slow and steady, it shouldn't be torture. I think we all struggle in the begining to get a hold of what we can and can't eat or in what portions we should have them. More often then not I manage to have a treat almost daily and still hit my calorie goal but I plan ahead and make better choices more often then not. The scale won't always work in your favor, especially if your a women so use other things to measure your progress, how many days you were under the calorie count, how many work outs in completed in a week, how many inches you lost, how your clothes fits, or simply if you feel your looking better and I there will be a day you step on that scale and you'll be proud of yourself for not giving up. Use small triumphs to fuel your motivation. Good luck!4
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Eating a piece of pizza is NOT cheating!!! Please stop thinking of food this way!2
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Well my husband considers it a cheat food lol we're both on a 1000 calorie/day plan. I was at my goal until I had the pizza which is mainly carbs and we're really trying to stay away from them. When I logged it into myfitnesspal it was over 1300 calories.
definitely a big cheat lol 0 -
1000 calories? Who recommended that? The lowest MFP allows for females is 1200, and guys should be higher because they have different caloric needs. No wonder this is torture for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't do it. I lose between 1 and 2lbs a week doing 1300 calories a week, give or take. Since it's not recommended to lose more than 2lbs a week on average, I am pleased with that. I could not survive on 1000 calories a day EVERY day. Some days, sure - but not sustainable in the long run.6 -
Well my husband considers it a cheat food lol we're both on a 1000 calorie/day plan. I was at my goal until I had the pizza which is mainly carbs and we're really trying to stay away from them. When I logged it into myfitnesspal it was over 1300 calories. definitely a big cheat lol
You should probably work out how many calories your body actually needs according to your height, weight, and age. Many calculators online (including one here).3
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