Is my gf too underweight?
darrensurrey
Posts: 3,942 Member
Stats: she's 5'6 and weighs about 55kg.
Brief description: You can see her ribs. She does yoga. You can see her abdominals. She has very thin limbs.
She knows she ought to eat more. She eats very healthily and so doesn't take in that many calories. I wonder if encouraging her to focus on compound lifting would increase her weight while making her look healthier providing she eats more. At the moment, she thinks my 8kg kettlebell is too heavy.
What do you think?
PS If she is happy as she is, I won't complain but in the back of my mind, she does look a little unhealthy. She has acknowledged she needs to put on some weight.
Brief description: You can see her ribs. She does yoga. You can see her abdominals. She has very thin limbs.
She knows she ought to eat more. She eats very healthily and so doesn't take in that many calories. I wonder if encouraging her to focus on compound lifting would increase her weight while making her look healthier providing she eats more. At the moment, she thinks my 8kg kettlebell is too heavy.
What do you think?
PS If she is happy as she is, I won't complain but in the back of my mind, she does look a little unhealthy. She has acknowledged she needs to put on some weight.
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Replies
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That's not a terrible weight for a naturally thin woman at 5'6". It sounds like she could do with some lifting, though.1
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Does her doctor say she is healthy? If so and she is happy, let her be.9
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She's not underweight at all - her BMI is around 19.5 which is perfectly fine. Low-er end, but not underweight. Don't sweat it.
It does sound like she could do with some lifting. Honestly though I've been doing kettlebells for a while and 8kg is still a bit heavy for me (but in my defense I have joint and mobility issues and nerve damage). Start off on a 4, there if she can't complete a workout with an 8. Nothing wrong with a 4.2 -
I would focus on strength not weight when you talk with her about it - you will likely have better luck
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If she agrees she's too thin and needs to do something about it, the above posts are great.
If you think she's too thin and you want her to do something about it, leave her alone.12 -
Seeing ribs doesn't always mean underweight. Mine have shown for awhile and my BMI is in the high 22s at the moment. It is more to do with how your body distributes weight (mine is all in the lower half...). I'm a 5'5" woman and use a 20 lb (~9.1 kg) or 25 lb (~11.3) kettlebell at the moment, depending on the exercise, though I did start with something lower at the beginning of the year.3
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Thanks for the replies. I have been suggesting she tries to develop her strength as she will feel good for it. I told her there was nothing wrong with strong, powerful women in my books.
I will look at getting a lighter KB to start with.0 -
Start taking her out to dinner more...order the cheesecake. lol11
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DanyellMcGinnis wrote: »Seeing ribs doesn't always mean underweight. Mine have shown for awhile and my BMI is in the high 22s at the moment. It is more to do with how your body distributes weight (mine is all in the lower half...). I'm a 5'5" woman and use a 20 lb (~9.1 kg) or 25 lb (~11.3) kettlebell at the moment, depending on the exercise, though I did start with something lower at the beginning of the year.
This.
My ribs are visible even at 23BMI.
Unless she carries her weight in her upper half, seeing her ribs shouldn't really be a cause for concern. Apple or pear shaped bodies have more prominent ribs.3 -
darrensurrey wrote: »Stats: she's 5'6 and weighs about 55kg.
Brief description: You can see her ribs. She does yoga. You can see her abdominals. She has very thin limbs.
She knows she ought to eat more. She eats very healthily and so doesn't take in that many calories. I wonder if encouraging her to focus on compound lifting would increase her weight while making her look healthier providing she eats more. At the moment, she thinks my 8kg kettlebell is too heavy.
What do you think?
PS If she is happy as she is, I won't complain but in the back of my mind, she does look a little unhealthy. She has acknowledged she needs to put on some weight.
Telling a woman that her weight is not ideal seems to be a bad idea in this forum.
What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.2 -
No. She is not underweight. She is at the lower end of the bmi range for her height, but not at all underweight. Her bmi is 19.5 and it should be between 18.5 - 24.9. My daughter is 5'6" and weighs 103. Her bmi is 16.6. She is underweight. I don't think your gf needs to put on any weight unless she wants to. And I think that really you should stay out of it. Telling someone they look too thin is just as rude and hurtful as telling someone they are too heavy.3
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What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.
In her 40s.
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Offer to cook her some nice meals, while making sure they're higher calorie than normal.
Buy some new larger dinner plates, it's a good way to increase her portions without her noticing.
I'm joking of course.1 -
I don't think your gf needs to put on any weight unless she wants to. And I think that really you should stay out of it. Telling someone they look too thin is just as rude and hurtful as telling someone they are too heavy.
Sure - she has mentioned it to me so I started considering ideas.0 -
darrensurrey wrote: »What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.
In her 40s.
you're kidding right?
she's 40 years old- she doesn't need her boyfriend telling her what to do or what to look like unless she's got a serious eating problem- and you already mentioned she eats and does yoga so she spends some attention on the things that matter- so I'd say this falls squarely into "not your problem".8 -
What is with all the posts by dudes who are unhappy with their gf/spouses body and want the internet on their side when they go to confront them about it? ffs5
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That's all very vague. Some people are actually naturally thin with high metabolisms. It's all about body type and bone structure which is all measurable. That is why the bmi average range is rather wide.
Also, if you're concerned with your gfs health, then you're doing the right thing figuring out if it is a considerable factor for her or not to need to eat more. It's a valid question. If I had a boyfriend who was ungodly skinny and I wasn't sure what was the right healthy weight etc, I would be asking questions too.1 -
darrensurrey wrote: »What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.
In her 40s.
She is doing yoga? So she can lift herself, do pushups and stuff? 55kg is over 120lb, yes? That is nowhere near "too skinny" for 5'6". This sounds more like lean and healthy to me.
Your preference may be for more padded, or something, but making her feel like there's something wrong with her because she's not made curvy is messed up in my view. Don't try to fix her, she isn't broken.
I'm 48, 5'9", hovering around 135lb - I was 125lb and added 10lb of mostly muscle by doing yoga over the last 3 years, so if she's just starting out she may add some muscle mass from doing the vinyasas. But again - she isn't broken, there is nothing to fix. If she's made it to her 40s without getting fat, she's done well and this is the way she is built, and NO she is not underweight. Be happy with her, how she is now.9 -
Darren my old friend - she's certainly slim but the bigger problem is clearly she has appalling taste in men. 15
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Hell_Flower wrote: »DanyellMcGinnis wrote: »Seeing ribs doesn't always mean underweight. Mine have shown for awhile and my BMI is in the high 22s at the moment. It is more to do with how your body distributes weight (mine is all in the lower half...). I'm a 5'5" woman and use a 20 lb (~9.1 kg) or 25 lb (~11.3) kettlebell at the moment, depending on the exercise, though I did start with something lower at the beginning of the year.
This.
My ribs are visible even at 23BMI.
Unless she carries her weight in her upper half, seeing her ribs shouldn't really be a cause for concern. Apple or pear shaped bodies have more prominent ribs.
Again support for this statement My ribs started showing ournd BMI 26.5. Yes that is right when I was still technically overweight I already showed ribs - My body shape is just very much a case of junk in the trunk5 -
Ditto what others have said about body shape. We pear shaped women can have skeletal upper bodies with well padded rear/thighs. Other than her possibly doing a bulk and hitting the weights hard to add muscle mass, it's really, really hard for some women to not have ribs/sternum show. Throw in long arms like mine (and probably your gf's) and you end up looking even thinner. It sounds like she is a good weight. If she brings it up, suggest a slow bulk with strength training. If not, be happy you have a 40yr old gf in great shape!2
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seekingdaintiness wrote: »What is with all the posts by dudes who are unhappy with their gf/spouses body and want the internet on their side when they go to confront them about it? ffs
I'm definitely not unhappy!!2 -
darrensurrey wrote: »What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.
In her 40s.
you're kidding right?
she's 40 years old- she doesn't need her boyfriend telling her what to do or what to look like unless she's got a serious eating problem- and you already mentioned she eats and does yoga so she spends some attention on the things that matter- so I'd say this falls squarely into "not your problem".
As I say, she mentioned it to me today. I'm just putting together ideas. And if it's her "problem", then it's my problem. 4 -
darrensurrey wrote: »darrensurrey wrote: »What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.
In her 40s.
you're kidding right?
she's 40 years old- she doesn't need her boyfriend telling her what to do or what to look like unless she's got a serious eating problem- and you already mentioned she eats and does yoga so she spends some attention on the things that matter- so I'd say this falls squarely into "not your problem".
As I say, she mentioned it to me today. I'm just putting together ideas. And if it's her "problem", then it's my problem.
I think the answer here, aside from all the social aspects, is that she needs a slight increase in calories coupled with some resistance training. That could simply mean rock climbing as you're doing in your avatar. It doesn't necessarily need to be weights in the gym.2 -
darrensurrey wrote: »
She still found a nice fella though mate, looking forward to hearing the patter of tiny feet.
(From the guide dog!)3 -
darrensurrey wrote: »
She still found a nice fella though mate, looking forward to hearing the patter of tiny feet.
(From the guide dog!)
Puppies?1 -
darrensurrey wrote: »darrensurrey wrote: »What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.
In her 40s.
you're kidding right?
she's 40 years old- she doesn't need her boyfriend telling her what to do or what to look like unless she's got a serious eating problem- and you already mentioned she eats and does yoga so she spends some attention on the things that matter- so I'd say this falls squarely into "not your problem".
As I say, she mentioned it to me today. I'm just putting together ideas. And if it's her "problem", then it's my problem.
"Acknowledging" that she needs to gain weight and "knowing" that she needs to eat more doesn't sound to me like she mentioned it to you today. Especially since in the back of your mind you think she looks a little unhealthy. If you told her she looks unhealthy then I can see her saying that she knows she needs to gain weight. I just know from living with someone who actually needs to gain weight that it is just as hard, sometimes harder than losing weight and she doesn't need you telling her how unhealthy she looks. She is thin, but not at all underweight and she is an adult. You might think that she would look better with a little more padding, but it's not your call. Leave her alone.2 -
darrensurrey wrote: »darrensurrey wrote: »What do I think? Be honest with her even if the subject is her weight. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship. Also, while she's on the thinner side of healthy she's not unhealthy based on those stats. How old is she? I know I personally didn't fill out more until I was in my mid 20s.
In her 40s.
you're kidding right?
she's 40 years old- she doesn't need her boyfriend telling her what to do or what to look like unless she's got a serious eating problem- and you already mentioned she eats and does yoga so she spends some attention on the things that matter- so I'd say this falls squarely into "not your problem".
As I say, she mentioned it to me today. I'm just putting together ideas. And if it's her "problem", then it's my problem.
"Acknowledging" that she needs to gain weight and "knowing" that she needs to eat more doesn't sound to me like she mentioned it to you today. Especially since in the back of your mind you think she looks a little unhealthy. If you told her she looks unhealthy then I can see her saying that she knows she needs to gain weight. I just know from living with someone who actually needs to gain weight that it is just as hard, sometimes harder than losing weight and she doesn't need you telling her how unhealthy she looks. She is thin, but not at all underweight and she is an adult. You might think that she would look better with a little more padding, but it's not your call. Leave her alone.
Well, she did say it to me. This morning.0 -
She is at a low weight. I'm in my 40's, 5"8 and anything under 65kgs does not look good on me, think sickly and gaunt.1
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