Negativity...

hollyrenee1990
hollyrenee1990 Posts: 197 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
How do you deal with it? I work with someone who tells me I do not need to lose anymore weight. I'm 5'2 and 135 pounds. I want to lose a few more pounds and tone up. I've started eating clean 4 days ago. She comes up with chips wanting me to try so I took a small piece to try and threw the rest of it away. Wen she saw it I the trash can she bashed me for it saying I should of ate it a few extra calorie wouldn't kill me. Then she asks what I'm having for lunch and she tells me I don't have to eat clean if I'm working out. It just gets irritating. What would you do? I have to work beside her 8 hours 5 days a week. Don't want to piss her off. I just want to be left alone with what decisions I'm making.
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Replies

  • lilcassers
    lilcassers Posts: 163
    Kill her with kindness. I deal with it every day. "eeeewwww abs are for men" "you're too toned"... blah blah.

    Smile and say "thanks for your opinion but I am happy and healthy and that's really none of anyone business.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    She doesn't give a crap about your feelings. Stop worrying so much about hers. Be polite and professional.
  • hollyrenee1990
    hollyrenee1990 Posts: 197 Member
    I'd love to hear that! Lol I'm far from abs and being super toned! I'm working on it lol.

    I ended up telling her I'm going to do what I want.
  • hollyrenee1990
    hollyrenee1990 Posts: 197 Member
    Very true
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    My husband has had to deal with that too. My mother specifically bugged him about being too thin, and he told her, "Actually, I'm not. My BMI is 21, and underweight is 18.5." Plus, he's been doing stuff like P90X and Insanity wanting to build muscle, so I haven't been worried about him - because he's doing it smartly.

    I'm pretty lucky in that the people I work with are all on board, and have all gotten fitbits. Once in a while, we'll bring in stuff we shouldn't ought to, but it's not often, and we don't lay it on people's desks - we put it in the kitchen.

    Someone once asked me how much I wanted to lose - I told them I wanted to get down to about 145. He said, "There'll be nothing left of you!" I told him, "That's the plan!!"

    If the co-worker keeps bringing you crap to eat - tell her it isn't "food journal friendly," and that you're afraid if you eat that stuff you'll end up looking like her. LOL
  • hollyrenee1990
    hollyrenee1990 Posts: 197 Member
    Actually she looks really good is thin.
  • ForumLurker
    ForumLurker Posts: 36
    Actually she looks really good is thin.
    She probably doesn't want you to be thin and look better than her.
  • kimmymayhall
    kimmymayhall Posts: 419 Member
    Actually she looks really good is thin.

    Maybe that's just the problem, she's worried you are more attractive than her now. I creeped your "I look good!" thread and you really do.
    Honestly, it's her problem not yours. Just do whatever you need to do for your personal health (like you told her) and maintaining a pleasant working environment.
  • hollyrenee1990
    hollyrenee1990 Posts: 197 Member
    That's how I feel! Makes me only want to stick with it and push hard!!
  • soldier4242
    soldier4242 Posts: 1,368 Member
    You should find an untraceable way to murder her!!!
  • hollyrenee1990
    hollyrenee1990 Posts: 197 Member
    I agree! I want to be healthy and feel good about myself! She should be proud! But whatever haters= motivation!
  • FitWarrior7
    FitWarrior7 Posts: 332 Member
    While I agree you look great, it's your goal not hers...guarantee she is jealous.
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    I would just turn it around and make her answer the questions. I'd say "what are you basing your opinion on?" Or "why do you feel that way?" Whatever the answer is you can just say "Well, thanks for sharing that with me but I disagree". I had someone try to pressure me to drink soda when I didn't want it. After saying no several times I just stared at him ...blink...blink...to put the attention back on him and make him realize what he was doing. After a while he got embarrassed and stopped. If it went further than that I'd say "why do you want me to eat/drink that so much when you know I don't want to?" When people are pushy I push back. Create your own boundaries.
  • atlchc8
    atlchc8 Posts: 53 Member
    Actually she looks really good is thin.
    She probably doesn't want you to be thin and look better than her.

    True
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Lol, co-workers! sabotage!
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    I would just turn it around and make her answer the questions. I'd say "what are you basing your opinion on?" Or "why do you feel that way?" Whatever the answer is you can just say "Well, thanks for sharing that with me but I disagree". I had someone try to pressure me to drink soda when I didn't want it. After saying no several times I just stared at him ...blink...blink...to put the attention back on him and make him realize what he was doing. After a while he got embarrassed and stopped. If it went further than that I'd say "why do you want me to eat/drink that so much when you know I don't want to?" When people are pushy I push back. Create your own boundaries.

    ^^^ That. All of that.
    I don't like pushy people. And if they get really pushy I call them on it/push back. Sometimes they don't realize it and need to be called out on it. Sometimes they know they are being pushy and don't care. Either way, it's not cool.
    It's YOUR body. YOU decide what you put in it.
  • DVaughan1975
    DVaughan1975 Posts: 158 Member
    My stepdaughter made this comment the other night "Talk about yourself, not me" kinda catchy I think : )

    Anyway, I work with a bunch of men and they are busy lifting things and going up and down stairs while I sit at a desk all day. When they want fast food and they ask me if I want some I usually turn them down. Then they say "that's right, you don't eat that stuff" and I say "oh...trust me....I eat, I just really have to be careful". That usually works.

    ETA - By the way, I am 5'3 and weigh about 129 looking to lose 4 more lbs. and about 2% more BF. It's tough to be short!
  • mamillien1
    mamillien1 Posts: 9
    I agree with that 100%, thats the best way to deal with it. a Lot of the people that say negative stuff about your healthy choices are sometimes jealous that you have enough will power to continu to eat well and work out. I would also push on education because theres sp many myths around getting fit, like ''you dont need to eat clean since you work out''!
  • happybrunette120
    happybrunette120 Posts: 14
    Wow.. she sounds super jealous. I work at a physio office and all of my co-workers are very supportive. Especially the day girl, who herself lost 80 lbs! However, at home, I face challenges because my mom is very unsupportive. Mostly, I try to explain to her that I'm doing this for myself and I don't feel comfortable with my body yet. When I reach my goal, I will stop. You have to either sit down and talk to this person one-on-one or.. report it to a manager because I would argue that this type of behaviour is considered workplace harassment!
    On a side, note, congratulations on your success! You look fantastic. We are about the same height and started at roughly the same place - my goal weight is even the same as yours! I only hope I am as successful as you. Keep rocking it, girl - you're doing amazing. Don't let anyone stop you now. We don't stop when we get to the finish line - that's when we give it even more than we started with!
  • Kany
    Kany Posts: 336
    Tell her "no thanks," when she offers your food and ignore the rest of her comments. One of my coworkers does the same thing. I just stopped listening to her whenever she says I don't need to lose weight. I've gained like 30 lbs and she still doesn't think I need to lose any weight.
  • EnviousDan
    EnviousDan Posts: 107 Member
    You and your body know if you're eating enough or not. You know if you're healthy or not. She might be a bit jealous and maybe needs some encouragement of her own. Or, like with most negativity, you should just ignore her and move on. It's nice to see everyone here come to support you and that's what it should be about.

    On some level it's jealousy. Maybe on some level she is being kind and worrying about people developing eating disorders. Or maybe (although I have no idea why) she is one of those people who doesn't find a hardbody sexy.

    Good luck and press on! Hopefully it doesn't get to you too much!
  • mamillien1
    mamillien1 Posts: 9
    I think for sure you should be honest with her and explain that you are doing this for health reasons and that its a personal choice. Maybe even ask her why she feels like you shouldnt eat better, listening to see if maybe she is talking out of her own insecurities. Bring snacks for her as well have her taste good stuff instead of chips and whatever nonsense she bring to tempt you! Good luck my dear! Theres so much negativity out there .
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    I agree with being polite and professional.
    You're there to work not eat.
    Are you telling anyone else how to eat or exercise?
  • ohnstadk
    ohnstadk Posts: 143 Member
    You should find an untraceable way to murder her!!!

    thank you for this! you showed me how to bold things :) but now I wonder if i write the following with the same concept yet italic will it be?

    People like her totally need to shove off!!!!

    does underlined work the same way


    ^^^^ EDITED to say this makes me extremely happy :)
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
    I'm not sure I could refrain from punching her in the face, but sounds like you're not there, so - yeah. Kindness.

    Or just play the why game with her - you know how kids do it? After ever statement she says about your weight, just ask her why.

    "Why do you want me to unhealthy food?"
    "Why do you think I'm too skinny?"

    Don't let a single statement she makes about your health go unchallenged. Just play dumb and act like you're trying to understand.
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    You should find an untraceable way to murder her!!!

    OMG I laughed so hard!
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    Stop sharing so much with your co worker.....Your seeking the attention by sharing information with her about your eating and exercising habits...you now know her response method so avoid the topic.
  • pepperpat64
    pepperpat64 Posts: 423 Member
    Tell her the food she wants you to eat gives you really stinky gas and you won't eat it out of consideration for your coworkers.
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    I agree with being polite and professional.
    You're there to work not eat.
    Are you telling anyone else how to eat or exercise?

    Agree with Susie here. Are you running around the office flaunting your diet/exercise? I assume not. Since you arent, she shouldn't tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing. Its called common courtesy and no one has anymore these days.
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
    You should find an untraceable way to murder her!!!

    This guy.

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