What to do during dinner at friends/family's house--is it rude to bring my food scale?

mjffey

My sister knows i want to loose weight so she weights everything she prepares for me. So do what you feel comfortable with. Real friends wouldn't be offended. On the contrary....they would support you.

ogtmama

I think not being able to go one night without weighing your food is a sign of an unhealthy obsession, and that is likely what your hosts and fellow guests will think too, especially since,as many people have mentioned, the weights have no meaning without detailed information about the preparation.

TakingBackForever

I have a small scale I keep in my purse. I bring it everywhere (work, restaurants, friend's homes, family homes). I personally don't say anything while I weigh my food so most people don't realize it, those who do, ask, and I explain. I have never had an issue with this. I don't know why someone would think it was rude. I think they are probably being too sensitive, it's clearly not personal.

Oskrmike74

I am impressed that your dedication to your diet would bring you to ask this question. You are hardcore. I would not bring the scale with me, not that I think someone would find it rude, but it would be awkward. Trust your eyeballs for portion control in this situation and enjoy your evening without the weights and measures. And just picture measuring some sort of powder-sugared pastry for dessert and getting pulled over on your way home with white powder all over your scale. You would have some explaining to do. LOL

ogtmama

TakingBackForever wrote: »

I have a small scale I keep in my purse. I bring it everywhere (work, restaurants, friend's homes, family homes). I personally don't say anything while I weigh my food so most people don't realize it, those who do, ask, and I explain. I have never had an issue with this. I don't know why someone would think it was rude. I think they are probably being too sensitive, it's clearly not personal.

I doubt that nobody notices you removing food from your plate, weighing it, then returning it to your plate. They're just too polite to tell you that you have a problem.

SoDamnHungry

Make your best estimate and eat sensibly. A difference of a couple hundred calories isn't going to ruin your life. What WILL ruin your life is hauling your food scale everywhere.

BruinsGal_91

SoDamnHungry wrote: »

Make your best estimate and eat sensibly. A difference of a couple hundred calories isn't going to ruin your life. What WILL ruin your life is hauling your food scale everywhere.

Yep, but it will soon cease to be a problem, as the invites will no doubt dry up PDQ.

shrcpr

It sounds like your situation is a one-time event since you mentioned pot roast so I personally wouldn't bother.

However, in general, it would completely depend on how close these family/friends are and what the frequency of getting together is. If you're hanging out every weekend or even fairly often and it's potluck style I would say you need to do what's going to work for you long-term - if that's bringing your own food or a scale, you should be free to do that. I always bring my own food to family gatherings (in-laws) - they are frequent and informal. I've been in the family for 28 years now and they're used to it. I'm just the weirdo DIL who brings her own food everywhere. At first they tried to push food but I wore them down.

For smaller dinner invitations I wouldn't bring a food scale or my own food but for larger, more informal gatherings I would.

Just as an aside, I've never understood why people pay so much attention to what other people eat. I have a lot of social functions at my house, mostly with a lot of people (30-60+) and I wouldn't even notice if someone brought their own food, let alone be upset about it. When I have smaller gatherings I may notice but still wouldn't care. People are just too uptight in general.

AuroraGeorge8393

Rottified wrote: »

I dont get it. In a site that tells everyone they should use a food scale people say they wont invite a person back for using one? Saying that its rude? TF.

Add me to the list of perplexed people. Can I see why some people outside of MFP might react badly to a scale? Sure. They've likely never seen one. Perhaps they would assume you were passing judgment on their eating habits. Also, if it was a formal dinner, obviously, it would look gauche.

But someone from MFP (especially, those who admit to using scales) stating that they would never invite someone back to their home if they used a scale? That's just...confusing.

Admittedly, I estimate when I eat out, but if for some reason I chose to bring a scale I'd hope my close friends and family would love me enough not to be alienated by it. If they were alienated, then perhaps THEY are the ones with the problem, not me.

Many people have allergies and health problems that cause them to watch what they eat. It never bothers me when people ask me what ingredients are in a recipe I've made or if they pass on food they can't (or simply don't want) to eat. I wouldn't be bothered by someone bringing a scale to my home, either. Before joining MFP I probably would have been a bit surprised, but I wouldn't have become angry or felt insulted.

Gisel2015

AuroraGeorge8393 wrote: »

Rottified wrote: »

I dont get it. In a site that tells everyone they should use a food scale people say they wont invite a person back for using one? Saying that its rude? TF.

Add me to the list of perplexed people. Can I see why some people outside of MFP might react badly to a scale? Sure. They've likely never seen one. Perhaps they would assume you were passing judgment on their eating habits. Also, if it was a formal dinner, obviously, it would look gauche.

But someone from MFP (especially, those who admit to using scales) stating that they would never invite someone back to their home if they used a scale? That's just...confusing.

Admittedly, I estimate when I eat out, but if for some reason I chose to bring a scale I'd hope my close friends and family would love me enough not to be alienated by it. If they were alienated, then perhaps THEY are the ones with the problem, not me.

Many people have allergies and health problems that cause them to watch what they eat. It never bothers me when people ask me what ingredients are in a recipe I've made or if they pass on food they can't (or simply don't want) to eat. I wouldn't be bothered by someone bringing a scale to my home, either. Before joining MFP I probably would have been a bit surprised, but I wouldn't have become angry or felt insulted.

Because this site preaches: "it is life style change," so should that be interpreted that the life style change means hauling your scale all over town?

Allergies are a serious health problem to be considered and respected, but weighing everything that goes in our mouth, is somebody that we choose to do. No weighing our food will not result in an anaphylactic reaction.

hypodonthaveme

I take a small amount of meat what appears to be the size of a deck of cards ( figuring extra ingredients, salts etc) half the amount of potato ( not knowing if they use heavy cream or milk etc) and fill my plate with veggies. If they serve dessert, ask for the smallest piece of cake, or ice cream. It is tough not knowing what's in others food. Just don't feel like you should have to take the portions they want you to take. Eat the amounts you choose. Just say no thank you. This piece is big enough or that is enough potato, etc. best wishes.

AuroraGeorge8393

Gisel2015 wrote: »

AuroraGeorge8393 wrote: »

Rottified wrote: »

I dont get it. In a site that tells everyone they should use a food scale people say they wont invite a person back for using one? Saying that its rude? TF.

Add me to the list of perplexed people. Can I see why some people outside of MFP might react badly to a scale? Sure. They've likely never seen one. Perhaps they would assume you were passing judgment on their eating habits. Also, if it was a formal dinner, obviously, it would look gauche.

But someone from MFP (especially, those who admit to using scales) stating that they would never invite someone back to their home if they used a scale? That's just...confusing.

Admittedly, I estimate when I eat out, but if for some reason I chose to bring a scale I'd hope my close friends and family would love me enough not to be alienated by it. If they were alienated, then perhaps THEY are the ones with the problem, not me.

Many people have allergies and health problems that cause them to watch what they eat. It never bothers me when people ask me what ingredients are in a recipe I've made or if they pass on food they can't (or simply don't want) to eat. I wouldn't be bothered by someone bringing a scale to my home, either. Before joining MFP I probably would have been a bit surprised, but I wouldn't have become angry or felt insulted.

Because this site preaches "it is life style change," so should that be interpreted that the life style change means hauling your scale all over town?

No, I don't think anyone should have to haul a scale all over town. I certainly don't. If anything, I'm far too lazy to do so.

That being said, I don't see why anyone should be deeply offended or "alienated" by someone using a food scale. Unless it's a formal affair, or someone is making a grand production of their scale use, questioning other people's food choices, etc., I fail to see why anyone should be offended by it. That attitude just strikes me as very silly.

Perhaps I just have a problem with people getting angry over what people eat or how they choose to eat it. I have IBS that was misdiagnosed as Crohn's Disease when I was a child. It took over a decade to get a proper diagnosis. End result, there were a ton of things I couldn't eat growing up. I used to joke that I was an involuntary vegan. Most family and friends accepted this. There were, however, certain people who got their noses seriously out of joint when it was explained that I couldn't eat certain foods or if I had to bring my own food to events. I never understood - and still don't - why someone would care about what other people choose to eat.

Surely, if you invite someone over to your home, it's because you enjoy their company. Not because you are obsessed with what they eat or how they eat it. If someone is overweight and losing weight will improve their health, and using a scale helps them to do that, why should it bother someone who claims to love them? It wouldn't bother me at all.

cnbbnc

SoDamnHungry wrote: »

Make your best estimate and eat sensibly. A difference of a couple hundred calories isn't going to ruin your life. What WILL ruin your life is hauling your food scale everywhere.

This is my thought. I mean....weighing and proper logging are important to most of us, but...we can't take a break for one dinner and leave it all behind? It's one meal! I know I'm going to end up being one miserable individual if I feel that I can't go anywhere or eat anything EVER without it having sat on a scale first.

TakingBackForever

OP, I say, you do you.

Do what you have to to feel comfortable and successful. Only you really know what that is.

walking2running

Unless it's served buffet-style, weighing a plated dinner would mean taking apart the food and weighing the meat/starch/vegetables separately. It could be seen as "playing with your food". I don't know how that could be done in a polite manner. Another issue is that the focus of the evening would be on the calories rather than the taste and presentation of the food, not to mention the company for the evening. It could make the host uneasy if they knew you were analysing the nutritional content of the meal, and wondering how they fared according to your goals.

I'm pro-scale all the way, but in life, there should be room for "letting go", and flexibility in each lifestyle or way of doing things....

Zipp237

It's not rude, but it will be seen as weirdness. Most people, even those who lose weight, do not weigh food and they see it as obsessive and weird. So, they'll be thinking that and you may get some teasing. I wouldn't bring the scale.