how to find a girl friend when you a fat mess like me :(
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Will you date him?LiaMatilda wrote: »It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)
No, because I am already in a relationship. I didn't think people would get so caught up in what I said1 -
MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
And in turn no one is going to be falling for someone who is that depressed. I'm sorry to sound mean, but before you should even think about meating a girl, you should work on your issues.
Sounds like this is more than just the weight though, you may need to think about getting some professional help?
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Confidence is key mate. Also if you feel that bad then hit the gym and get your diet sorted. If you feel so low then that should be your motivation. Imagine being in good shape, loyal and funny. You'd be a triple threat0
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*double post*0
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Are you rich? If not do you have a way to become rich?1
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MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »im 300LBs no not much to look at , I've been told I'm funny and have a good sense of humor , but I just think I'm weird , i suppose I'm not a great person either , I try my best but always mess up , I'm a loyal friend to my friends I'd die for any one of them , but I suppose that is because their life is worth living .....
I'm just looking for someone I don't care about looks weight or any of that , I just want someone who is nice no me that is all. i mean how do I go about getting a nice woman , tbh I don't feel I should go out with any girl I mean any women on the plant could do better than me .
I suppose this is more of a rant but a little help would be nice ..... thank you
FIRST, you need to get counseling so that you can understand why you are putting yourself down. SECOND, stop with the negative self-talk. I am not a supermodel and my husband isn't a model either. But............he's a funny guy who takes care of me and loves me. He's negative often, so I am always telling him to be more positive about himself. If you can't be positive about yourself OP, then your woman won't be either.1 -
Op my husband is a lot bigger then you. I love him for him and his weight isn't an issue.
You just need to find the right girl. For that to happen, you will have to work on yourself a bit. If your having feelings about suicide then I'd suggest seeking help first before looking for a relationship.
When you meet there right lady, weight won't matter.1 -
MissusMoon wrote: »MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
You need a therapist. You need one now. I am not being mean or dismissive. If you feel like this, you have issues both in your thinking and possibly brain chemistry that need to be addressed.
Please get some help.
This.^^ This is urgent. This should be your number one goal right now.
Losing weight will not make you happy; you'll still be the same person on the inside.
Getting a girlfriend will not make you happy; you'll constantly wonder why she's with you and if she's looking for something better. Deep down you'll despise her because if you don't respect yourself, how can you respect someone who's with you? You might think "no I'd worship her and treat her like a queen for being with me" but that's not the way it works. And it's a hell of a burden to put on someone, to make them responsible for your happiness.
Depression untreated will make you question and, eventually, undermine, every bit of success you attain in every aspect of your life.3 -
Just go on OK Cupid0
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Like a few posters above I also dated guys much heavier than myself. My first bf in hs was 300 and I was 110. He was well dressed, clean, extremely respectful unlike other hs boy his age and great personality. After years of dating we went our separate ways but it wasn't until he lost all that weight and his personality changed. He wasn't himself anymore. I didn't care about the weight I wanted him. Now currently dating (Head over Heels in love 7 years) a guy 258 and at my age all I'm more worried about is his health at that weight. It's very important that you take care of yourself, eat right and get some exercise.
Be just as kind to yourself as you are to others.0 -
LiaMatilda wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Will you date him?LiaMatilda wrote: »It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)
No, because I am already in a relationship. I didn't think people would get so caught up in what I said
I read your post and I think you are a sweet person for trying to encourage this guy but more times than not nice guys finish last. I have see it so many times that it has become a cliché. Most women say they want a nice guy who will treat them good but what they end up dating is a guy on a motorcycle with tattoos, and a criminal record,who drinks heavy and teats them like crap.0 -
Craigslist2
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Then tell the boy the truth without the mollycoddlingLiaMatilda wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Will you date him?LiaMatilda wrote: »It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)
No, because I am already in a relationship. I didn't think people would get so caught up in what I said
I truly believe what I said. I know so many amazing women who aren't concerned with how a man looks but they do care about who he really is, his morals, his actions and what he believes in.LiaMatilda wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Will you date him?LiaMatilda wrote: »It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)
No, because I am already in a relationship. I didn't think people would get so caught up in what I said
I read your post and I think you are a sweet person for trying to encourage this guy but more times than not nice guys finish last. I have see it so many times that it has become a cliché. Most women say they want a nice guy who will treat them good but what they end up dating is a guy on a motorcycle with tattoos, and a criminal record,who drinks heavy and teats them like crap.
Thanks for being polite with your comment. Lot more than some people.
I'll still stick to what I believe to be true. Not all of us care so much about looks; looks are fleeting. Not all of us care about money; to those ones telling him to get rich. Money will attract the wrong kind of women, the kind who don't have their own ambitions and goals and who can't make it on their own. I mean, people should do whatever makes them happy without harming others. But I believe that he hasn't met the right woman and that's not something you can force or hurry.
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Yea don't be so hard on yourself I'm sure you're a good guy and you will find that girl for you..However, if you need to lose weight for that person they are not worth it. I have been dissed because I wasnt a size 2, and guess what I never will be. I'm a size 18, always cracking jokes, beer drinking, video game playin, master's degree having, car loving *kitten* chick that someones gonna love. Heavy doesn't mean ugly. Cuz Lord knows ive seen some ugly skinny b*tches lol Chin up love!1
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MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
Suicide is not something to make light of sir. If you truly feel like ending your life you need to take a serious look in the mirror.
As someone who has attempted and been omitted for a 72 hour hold I can relate to that feeling. I am a combat veteran and deal with bs thoughts a lot.
In fact on the treadmill today I wanted to quit before I even hit 2 miles. I pictured what I would look like if I always quit. I ran 6miles in 58 minutes(new self record).
Anytime you think you suicide or death is an option call me please. Anyone who uses my number other then the purpose I am posting shows the character you have.
(916)-370-6916 call me before you think of ending it. Anyone who has read what you said about wanting to die should be reaching out.
Suicide is real. No names needed man. You are a human as am I. Reach out anytime. ANYTIME!!!15 -
LiaMatilda wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Will you date him?LiaMatilda wrote: »It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)
No, because I am already in a relationship. I didn't think people would get so caught up in what I said
I read your post and I think you are a sweet person for trying to encourage this guy but more times than not nice guys finish last. I have see it so many times that it has become a cliché. Most women say they want a nice guy who will treat them good but what they end up dating is a guy on a motorcycle with tattoos, and a criminal record,who drinks heavy and teats them like crap.
What's wrong with drinking heavily?!?0 -
1. Love yourself. Just do it.
2. Like yourself. Again just do it. This will get your girl.
3. Like and Picture your ideal look.
4. Live a fun plan of diet, fitness and activities to achieve your ideal look. This will get your look.
5. Yearly, monthly, weekly, daily, by-the-minute live and do each of the above 4 steps. This will make both you and your girl damn hot!0 -
Thinking like that does nothing for anybody. It doesn't matter if you're 300lbs or 100lbs relationships are the same for everyone. The only thing you can do in life is live it, love yourself, and make yourself proud. That is all we can do in life. Whether someone likes us or not is the same chances as everyone else in the world has. We just be yourself, live your life and if someone comes in that loves you, accept them. When you don't love yourself though, you tend to push people away thinking you aren't good enough for them. Weight isn't as important a factor in love as you think. There was a guy who died because he was 600lbs and for most of that struggle he had a wife that loved him a lot. I know plenty of people who are 300lbs who are happily married. So stop worrying about it and learn to love yourself. Learn to be happy. And if you want to change, do it. Be whatever version of you makes you happy, not anyone else just you. (unless that version is a murderer, don't do that)0
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buthoflamb6 wrote: »MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
Suicide is not something to make light of sir. If you truly feel like ending your life you need to take a serious look in the mirror.
As someone who has attempted and been omitted for a 72 hour hold I can relate to that feeling. I am a combat veteran and deal with bs thoughts a lot.
In fact on the treadmill today I wanted to quit before I even hit 2 miles. I pictured what I would look like if I always quit. I ran 6miles in 58 minutes(new self record).
Anytime you think you suicide or death is an option call me please. Anyone who uses my number other then the purpose I am posting shows the character you have.
(916)-370-6916 call me before you think of ending it. Anyone who has read what you said about wanting to die should be reaching out.
Suicide is real. No names needed man. You are a human as am I. Reach out anytime. ANYTIME!!!
Thank you. For being a good person.
We need more of this please.7 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
He also hoped you would pick up his number and text himbuthoflamb6 wrote: »MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.
How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.
It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.
If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?
it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
Suicide is not something to make light of sir. If you truly feel like ending your life you need to take a serious look in the mirror.
As someone who has attempted and been omitted for a 72 hour hold I can relate to that feeling. I am a combat veteran and deal with bs thoughts a lot.
In fact on the treadmill today I wanted to quit before I even hit 2 miles. I pictured what I would look like if I always quit. I ran 6miles in 58 minutes(new self record).
Anytime you think you suicide or death is an option call me please. Anyone who uses my number other then the purpose I am posting shows the character you have.
(916)-370-6916 call me before you think of ending it. Anyone who has read what you said about wanting to die should be reaching out.
Suicide is real. No names needed man. You are a human as am I. Reach out anytime. ANYTIME!!!
Thank you. For being a good person.
We need more of this please.
Nah....I'm more of a Kik girl when I want to share the nudz.
Thanks for attempting to be my wing man though.
For reals though, no need to be an *kitten* every time you see this one post. Maybe y'all need to mud wrestle and squash this internet beef you seem to have.
His comment was genuine and in this thread especially, empathy is needed. People struggle with crap on the daily, things no one else knows about.
Let's try and not be total cuntbags.9 -
I got married at 326 pounds hommie. Confidence is key. When you love yourself, first. Others will follow.
Some girls like a big ole guy to take care of them.
Truth!!!! There are plenty of girls that like bigger guys, I know that for a FACT! But what we don't like is someone who lacks confidence. We want someone who will make us laugh and happy, not a downer.
I hope you find what you are looking for, but know that you should start by seeking professional help. Our minds can be very dangerous, and yours right now appears to be in very scary waters.2 -
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Thank you. For being a good person.
We need more of this please.
I agree, and marked that post "awesome." It was the most awesome thing I've seen in several days at least. The guy is probably getting a lot of prank calls right now, and he knew he was exposing himself to them, but wanted to take that risk to try to help a perfect stranger.
It's enough to restore your faith in humanity.4 -
Let me add that you also do not want a woman who is all about the money. Requiring that you simply be solvent and responsible is not at all the same as being a gold digger. When I met hubby he was right out of college and working in a grocery deli while looking for better jobs. Minimum wage, but he was supporting himself. He had a car, old though it was, he had roommates to share the bills, demonstrating that he knew how to take care of himself. Women do want men who know how to take care of themselves, not ones who need us to be like a babysitter. But, with those qualifiers, a dude being poor as crap has never deterred me from dating him, either. I've been on the work force much longer. So I paid for the dates. *shrugs* If we were both broke it was cook dinner together and Netflix and Chill. XD interpret that last part however you like lol. I would of course advise keeping your place reasonably clean. It doesn't have to be Better Homes and Gardens but don't scare women away with dishes stacked to the ceiling and lack of toilet paper, or anything like that. If you behave in a way that rocks, the rest should take care of itself more or less.
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MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »im 300LBs no not much to look at , ive been told im funny and have a good sense of humor , but i just think im weird ,
i suppose im not a great person ether , i try my best but all ways mess up , im a loyal friend to my friends id die for any one of them , but i suppose that is because there life is worth living .....
im just looking for someone i dont care about looks weight or any of that , i just want some one who is nice no me that is all.
i mean how do i go about getting a nice women ,
tbh i dont feel i should go out with any girl i mean any women on the plant could do better than me .
i suppose this is more of a rant but a little help would be nice ..... thank you
Dude. Work on your confidence. This is KEY. You can be a big guy and still get a girlfriend. Even if you don't feel confident, just act it. You're allowed to like things about yourself, like you're a nice person, you're humble, you're a loyal friend or whatever else. OWN it!
I gotta be honest, find a hobby and work on yourself, because until you like yourself you'll continue to have a hard time. If you want to join a gym then join one and work out, but if you're not ready to do that then just work on your diet until you're ready. Eat healthy. Treat yourself well. I'm not telling you to join a sport right off the bat if you hate sports, but join in on something!
Also.. don't put yourself down, we get enough hate from the outside world, we don't need us saying it to ourselves constantly at home too.3 -
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guys im not in need of mental help thank you ffs1
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