how to find a girl friend when you a fat mess like me :(

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245

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  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,996 Member
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    MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »
    sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »
    The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.

    How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.

    It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.

    If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?

    it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die
    MissusMoon wrote: »
    You need a therapist. You need one now. I am not being mean or dismissive. If you feel like this, you have issues both in your thinking and possibly brain chemistry that need to be addressed.

    Please get some help.

    Cosigned.
  • SofaKingRad_AZ
    SofaKingRad_AZ Posts: 62 Member
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    Dude, get help. I've seen guys your size meet women and get married all because of their personality and confidence. The kind of things you said here won't put off any kind of confidence and getting laid like that is like trying to *kitten* Superman with a kryptonite condom.
  • pie_eyes
    pie_eyes Posts: 12,964 Member
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    Tinder?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    If you base your worth by measurements of pounds, inches, dollars or the like you will never measure up.
  • LiaMatilda
    LiaMatilda Posts: 17 Member
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    It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    edited June 2016
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    Mr. Big, my husband weighs 310 lb. This never stopped me. I was the one who initiated the relationship in fact. :) Groom yourself well, dress in clothes that look good and fit right. Cultivate your best personality features and conversational skills. You do not want a shallow woman who only cares about appearances. That type will make you miserable.

    Edit for details: I'm an attractive woman with a Master's degree. So you see you don't have to settle for less. Husband grooms himself well, is intelligent, and is caring and hard working. His body fat did not factor into any of this and he did not have to settle for a woman who was unattractive, unintelligent, or anything like that.
  • LINIA
    LINIA Posts: 1,138 Member
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    My one friend who was your size refused to look at any girl near his size. I was setting him up with women to date and they all had to be already in good shape.

    Sp i'm just wondering if you're willing to approach females who also have a "few pounds to loose"?
  • liftinggoddess1
    liftinggoddess1 Posts: 305 Member
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    Hun it's baby steps at a time as people keep saying..

    Work on your mental state and attitude.

    Diet and exercise... Have a 12 week plan of these and chop and change. Mfp is great place to start to get some advice.

    Hobbies... Like the poster above suggests do things that get you excited. But also something that will be beneficial to you.

    Speed dating is also a fun way to start. Take a friend along...
  • LiaMatilda
    LiaMatilda Posts: 17 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    LiaMatilda wrote: »
    It doesn't matter what you look like if you're a genuinely good guy; a girl will still fall for you☺️ I don't think you've met the right ones because looks really aren't that important (to the good girls I guess haha)
    Will you date him?

    No, because I am already in a relationship. I didn't think people would get so caught up in what I said
  • Derpy_Hooves
    Derpy_Hooves Posts: 234 Member
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    MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »
    sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »
    The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.

    How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.

    It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.

    If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?

    it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die

    And in turn no one is going to be falling for someone who is that depressed. I'm sorry to sound mean, but before you should even think about meating a girl, you should work on your issues.
    Sounds like this is more than just the weight though, you may need to think about getting some professional help? :)
  • Tenster
    Tenster Posts: 278 Member
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    Confidence is key mate. Also if you feel that bad then hit the gym and get your diet sorted. If you feel so low then that should be your motivation. Imagine being in good shape, loyal and funny. You'd be a triple threat
  • CalorieCountChocula
    CalorieCountChocula Posts: 239 Member
    edited June 2016
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    *double post*
  • CalorieCountChocula
    CalorieCountChocula Posts: 239 Member
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    Are you rich? If not do you have a way to become rich?
  • vczK2t
    vczK2t Posts: 309 Member
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    MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »
    im 300LBs no not much to look at , I've been told I'm funny and have a good sense of humor , but I just think I'm weird , i suppose I'm not a great person either , I try my best but always mess up , I'm a loyal friend to my friends I'd die for any one of them , but I suppose that is because their life is worth living .....
    I'm just looking for someone I don't care about looks weight or any of that , I just want someone who is nice no me that is all. i mean how do I go about getting a nice woman , tbh I don't feel I should go out with any girl I mean any women on the plant could do better than me .
    I suppose this is more of a rant but a little help would be nice ..... thank you :)

    FIRST, you need to get counseling so that you can understand why you are putting yourself down. SECOND, stop with the negative self-talk. I am not a supermodel and my husband isn't a model either. But............he's a funny guy who takes care of me and loves me. He's negative often, so I am always telling him to be more positive about himself. If you can't be positive about yourself OP, then your woman won't be either.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    Op my husband is a lot bigger then you. I love him for him and his weight isn't an issue.
    You just need to find the right girl. For that to happen, you will have to work on yourself a bit. If your having feelings about suicide then I'd suggest seeking help first before looking for a relationship.
    When you meet there right lady, weight won't matter.
  • AngryGangrel
    AngryGangrel Posts: 37 Member
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    MissusMoon wrote: »
    MRbigGUYXXL wrote: »
    sparklyglitterbomb wrote: »
    The first thing to work on is realizing your self-worth. Be confident in your sense of humor and your loyalty to your friends.

    How are you messing things up? Is that something you can correct? If you are overpromising things, then try to stop. If you are sabotaging things, figure out why and see how you can stop it.

    It is not all about losing weight to get the girl. Many women are attracted to humor, personality, and confidence more than looks.

    If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others?

    it is hard to love your self when all you want to do is die

    You need a therapist. You need one now. I am not being mean or dismissive. If you feel like this, you have issues both in your thinking and possibly brain chemistry that need to be addressed.

    Please get some help.

    This.^^ This is urgent. This should be your number one goal right now.

    Losing weight will not make you happy; you'll still be the same person on the inside.

    Getting a girlfriend will not make you happy; you'll constantly wonder why she's with you and if she's looking for something better. Deep down you'll despise her because if you don't respect yourself, how can you respect someone who's with you? You might think "no I'd worship her and treat her like a queen for being with me" but that's not the way it works. And it's a hell of a burden to put on someone, to make them responsible for your happiness.

    Depression untreated will make you question and, eventually, undermine, every bit of success you attain in every aspect of your life.
  • Lone_wolf46
    Lone_wolf46 Posts: 2,709 Member
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    Just go on OK Cupid
  • Lovethesnow35
    Lovethesnow35 Posts: 2,070 Member
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    Like a few posters above I also dated guys much heavier than myself. My first bf in hs was 300 and I was 110. He was well dressed, clean, extremely respectful unlike other hs boy his age and great personality. After years of dating we went our separate ways but it wasn't until he lost all that weight and his personality changed. He wasn't himself anymore. I didn't care about the weight I wanted him. Now currently dating (Head over Heels in love 7 years) a guy 258 and at my age all I'm more worried about is his health at that weight. It's very important that you take care of yourself, eat right and get some exercise.
    Be just as kind to yourself as you are to others.

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