My Big Fat Fabulous Life

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  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    slava977 wrote: »
    The following is somewhat off topic but an interesting observation... I live in Vancouver, Canada and there is A LOT of social pressure to be thin/normal and physically active. I'm 39, 5'7 and 172 lbs (spread proportionately - my stomachs is almost completely flat) - and I feel VERY BIG when I attend a party or a social gathering around here. Three weeks ago I attended a bridal shower with 35 women in attendance and I was BY FAR the largest person in the room. Most women were size 4-6. And those were just random women from all walks of life (between the ages of 27 and 45), only the bride was their common connection for the most part..

    Then a week ago I drove to Washington state to visit a friend. I was just north of Seattle (about 30 minutes from downtown). On the way to her place I stopped at a local Safeway to pick up some groceries. Something caught my eye and I started paying attention. About 85% of women (customers/staff) in that store were larger than me.. I'd say about 30% of women were over 250 lbs. Even most young girls were heavy. It really made an impression on me. There must be something very wrong overall with people's diet in the US. I'm not saying it to offend anyone (US is a great country and I have many friends there) - I just don't understand how and why is it the case? And why is it so different from Vancouver?
    Peregrymj wrote: »
    Vancouver's very health conscious, walkable, and has a very large food culture, but they're all about quality over quantity. Lots of Asian cooking influence. I love visiting there.
    In contrast the US, whenever we go down there (from Canada) we are baffled by their massive food portions, one American portion feeds two-to three of us, not to mention the food is always covered in butter, cheese, pasta and for some reason Nutella. Them calories add up fast!

    Why are we lumping all of the US into one place? We certainly do not all eat the same or engage in the same level of activity across the country.

    I'm in Dallas. It has enough public transport to get by and some walkable neighborhoods, but it is definitely not a walkable city as a whole. It's also in the south, which is stereotyped for deep-frying everything and adding lard or butter to vegetables. Within the city, there's a wide range of sizes. In my neighborhood, a walkable one inhabited primarily by young professionals, most people aren't overweight. I'm a size 4, and I'm larger than most of the women in my condo complex. In an affluent suburb, you'll see a mix - some people are negatively impacted by driving everywhere and not compensating for it, while others are putting their their money toward gym memberships and healthy eating. In a poorer part of town, there will be more overweight people.

    As far as restaurants go, I rarely dine at establishments that give me huge portions. I primarily cook at home, but when I dine out I choose to spend my money on upscale restaurants that serve smaller portions with high-quality, local ingredients. My friends in a lower economic bracket opt for places that give them a big volume of food - they want to feel like they're getting their money's worth. It's a different mindset.

    I will say I think the US is guilty of the trashiest of all trashy reality television. We romanticize the most ridiculous ideas.

    Agree whole-heartedly about the overgeneralizing.

    This reminds me of the post from someone from the UK who said that food in NYC was all huge portions and unhealthy. Turned out when she gave more information that her idea of dining in NYC was Applebee's, which is just depressing and ridiculous given the great food culture available.

    I go to restaurants sometimes with crazy portions (the Indian place I go to has them, for example, and when we get Ethiopian to share they bring the injera freely and we always have food left over), but plenty that fit your description also with the smaller portions and focus on local, high-quality ingredients (usually identifying the farms that sourced them). I assume restaurant food has more butter than I'd use at home, but I certainly don't normally go to restaurants where everything is covered in butter, cheese, pasta, etc. (and have never once seen Nutella in a restaurant, I don't think -- I've never even tried it yet and consider it more of a European thing).

    Oh, and my city is quite walkable, at least in neighborhoods not overrun with crime, sigh.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    edited June 2016
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    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    slava977 wrote: »
    The following is somewhat off topic but an interesting observation... I live in Vancouver, Canada and there is A LOT of social pressure to be thin/normal and physically active. I'm 39, 5'7 and 172 lbs (spread proportionately - my stomachs is almost completely flat) - and I feel VERY BIG when I attend a party or a social gathering around here. Three weeks ago I attended a bridal shower with 35 women in attendance and I was BY FAR the largest person in the room. Most women were size 4-6. And those were just random women from all walks of life (between the ages of 27 and 45), only the bride was their common connection for the most part..

    Then a week ago I drove to Washington state to visit a friend. I was just north of Seattle (about 30 minutes from downtown). On the way to her place I stopped at a local Safeway to pick up some groceries. Something caught my eye and I started paying attention. About 85% of women (customers/staff) in that store were larger than me.. I'd say about 30% of women were over 250 lbs. Even most young girls were heavy. It really made an impression on me. There must be something very wrong overall with people's diet in the US. I'm not saying it to offend anyone (US is a great country and I have many friends there) - I just don't understand how and why is it the case? And why is it so different from Vancouver?
    Peregrymj wrote: »
    Vancouver's very health conscious, walkable, and has a very large food culture, but they're all about quality over quantity. Lots of Asian cooking influence. I love visiting there.
    In contrast the US, whenever we go down there (from Canada) we are baffled by their massive food portions, one American portion feeds two-to three of us, not to mention the food is always covered in butter, cheese, pasta and for some reason Nutella. Them calories add up fast!

    Why are we lumping all of the US into one place? We certainly do not all eat the same or engage in the same level of activity across the country.

    I'm in Dallas. It has enough public transport to get by and some walkable neighborhoods, but it is definitely not a walkable city as a whole. It's also in the south, which is stereotyped for deep-frying everything and adding lard or butter to vegetables. Within the city, there's a wide range of sizes. In my neighborhood, a walkable one inhabited primarily by young professionals, most people aren't overweight. I'm a size 4, and I'm larger than most of the women in my condo complex. In an affluent suburb, you'll see a mix - some people are negatively impacted by driving everywhere and not compensating for it, while others are putting their their money toward gym memberships and healthy eating. In a poorer part of town, there will be more overweight people.

    As far as restaurants go, I rarely dine at establishments that give me huge portions. I primarily cook at home, but when I dine out I choose to spend my money on upscale restaurants that serve smaller portions with high-quality, local ingredients. My friends in a lower economic bracket opt for places that give them a big volume of food - they want to feel like they're getting their money's worth. It's a different mindset.

    I will say I think the US is guilty of the trashiest of all trashy reality television. We romanticize the most ridiculous ideas.

    Agree whole-heartedly about the overgeneralizing.

    This reminds me of the post from someone from the UK who said that food in NYC was all huge portions and unhealthy. Turned out when she gave more information that her idea of dining in NYC was Applebee's, which is just depressing and ridiculous given the great food culture available.

    I go to restaurants sometimes with crazy portions (the Indian place I go to has them, for example, and when we get Ethiopian to share they bring the injera freely and we always have food left over), but plenty that fit your description also with the smaller portions and focus on local, high-quality ingredients (usually identifying the farms that sourced them). I assume restaurant food has more butter than I'd use at home, but I certainly don't normally go to restaurants where everything is covered in butter, cheese, pasta, etc. (and have never once seen Nutella in a restaurant, I don't think -- I've never even tried it yet and consider it more of a European thing).

    Oh, and my city is quite walkable, at least in neighborhoods not overrun with crime, sigh.

    Having lived on Long Island all my life and regularly going to Manhattan, I can say the portions are the same as any other place. The price though....wooo. You pay twenty dollars for a simple pasta dish at most places. Also, the Times Square restaurants are way overpriced and usually very crowded.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    edited June 2016
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    There are plenty of restaurants in Manhattan (let alone the rest of the city) with non huge portions. I expect this is true in any city, but especially one with the variety of restaurants that NYC has. I know this is true in Chicago, even though we are as stereotyped as anywhere for unhealthy food in huge amounts. For someone to think they can generalize about the food available in a huge and diverse city at all, let alone based on some mediocre national chain is so odd to me.
  • RosieRose7673
    RosieRose7673 Posts: 438 Member
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    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    There are plenty of restaurants in Manhattan (let alone the rest of the city) with non huge portions. I expect this is true in any city, but especially one with the variety of restaurants that NYC has. I know this is true in Chicago, even though we are as stereotyped as anywhere for unhealthy food in huge amounts. For someone to think they can generalize about the food available in a huge and diverse city at all, let alone based on some mediocre national chain is so odd to me.

    Agreed. I live in Chicago and have gone to many different restaurants with small portions. However, of course we have chains like Friday's, Cheesecake Factory etc which have huge portions. But that's typical for anywhere those restaurants are!
  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
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    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    There are plenty of restaurants in Manhattan (let alone the rest of the city) with non huge portions. I expect this is true in any city, but especially one with the variety of restaurants that NYC has. I know this is true in Chicago, even though we are as stereotyped as anywhere for unhealthy food in huge amounts. For someone to think they can generalize about the food available in a huge and diverse city at all, let alone based on some mediocre national chain is so odd to me.

    That New York state has a law that calorie counts must be stated on the menu (and realizing that they are probably underestimated, too) is enough to put me off food when we are visiting!
  • Cheesy567
    Cheesy567 Posts: 1,186 Member
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    cross2bear wrote: »
    I pretty much take everyone (including Whitney) at their word, unless or until something happens to change my mind. Nothing has happened to change my mind about accepting that Whitney is happy with herself at this point. Even lighter people have moments of insecurity and failure, just like her. It IS possible to have a personality that accepts the way things are in the moment, and who chooses not to dwell on the negatives of a situation.

    I dont believe she is oblivious to the health risks she is up against. Look how frightened she was when she was being checked for pre diabetes. At this point, she chooses not to change. Its her choice, its her life.

    Socialized medicine (I'm in Canada) does not discriminate against those who choose to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. there are smokers and drinkers and overweight people, but also folks who develop cancer, and other debilitating disease who are just as deserving of health care as anyone else. It is balanced by the population who whether by choice, luck or genetics do not use the health care system disproportionately.

    Fat shaming is, in my opinion, a form of harassment and discrimination that is condoned by the general populace, and by business and industry across North America. Airlines dont make smokers buy out the row they are sitting in because their clothes stink (just one example). I applaud Whitney for her activism in this field, and her compassion for those for whom their weight represents a constant source of concern.

    Well said! Body acceptance is often a first step to weightloss and fitness for people who are morbidly obese. If fat-shaming worked, she (and all of us) would be thin. Losing weight is difficult for anyone-- compound it with metabolic derangements that make it more difficult; the dismissive and demoralizing attitudes of the health care field towards the morbidly obese; and lack of education on effective weightloss regimes for those with metabolic derangements-- it can (and does) seem an insurmountable problem. For someone who deeply hates their body, why would they want to nurture it? For someone who feels condemned and judged when going to the doctor, where would you turn for help? How many times do you try what you "know" is right, and fail because it's not right for your metabolism, before you give up?

    Why not approach it from a place of self-acceptance, to build activity capacity whatever your size, and come to love and appreciate what your body can do for you? Experiencing how much better you feel and how much better your body performs when well cared for is far more motivating than hearing "you need to lose weight."

    Why not encourage people to build the lifestyle they wish to live, give them role-models who are doing it, and build the confidence, self-efficacy, and resilience they'll need to change their diet when they're ready? Eventually their body will take on the (smaller) size that their new lifestyle supports.
  • cinnag4225
    cinnag4225 Posts: 126 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Not sure if this is considered off topic or not, but not sure what category it belongs in.

    Anyway, has anyone here ever watched this show? I didn't see season 1, but after seeing the commercials, I started watching the new episodes from season 2.

    If you have, what do you think about it?

    To me it seems like she is in huge denial. She says that whe wants to be fat and considers herself healthy. No offense to anyone, but how is being 370 lbs healthy? This takes the HAES claim to a whole new level.

    Referring strictly to the second question as I haven't seen the show, it's possible that metabolically she's doing okay now, but the additional weight WILL impact her joints and skeleton eventually. Once that happens her physical activity will be grow steadily limited, which will make it harder to maintain the rest of her health without serious dietary changes. It sounds like unintentional denial, imo. I used to be the same way. My sugars, cholesterol, heart, etc, are all in excellent condition, but part of what spurred me to kick my butt and get into shape is that I'm 30 years old and starting to have some of the same feet/knee problems weight has caused my mother, and I've seen first-hand where those problems lead.
  • cinnag4225
    cinnag4225 Posts: 126 Member
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    mitch16 wrote: »
    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    There are plenty of restaurants in Manhattan (let alone the rest of the city) with non huge portions. I expect this is true in any city, but especially one with the variety of restaurants that NYC has. I know this is true in Chicago, even though we are as stereotyped as anywhere for unhealthy food in huge amounts. For someone to think they can generalize about the food available in a huge and diverse city at all, let alone based on some mediocre national chain is so odd to me.

    That New York state has a law that calorie counts must be stated on the menu (and realizing that they are probably underestimated, too) is enough to put me off food when we are visiting!


    I sooooo wish restaurants did this everywhere! I mean, I know some people would be scared off, but knowing that info would actually make me more willing to eat a larger dish if I had the opportunity to plan ahead.
  • Colorscheme
    Colorscheme Posts: 1,179 Member
    edited June 2016
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    cinnag4225 wrote: »
    mitch16 wrote: »
    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    There are plenty of restaurants in Manhattan (let alone the rest of the city) with non huge portions. I expect this is true in any city, but especially one with the variety of restaurants that NYC has. I know this is true in Chicago, even though we are as stereotyped as anywhere for unhealthy food in huge amounts. For someone to think they can generalize about the food available in a huge and diverse city at all, let alone based on some mediocre national chain is so odd to me.

    That New York state has a law that calorie counts must be stated on the menu (and realizing that they are probably underestimated, too) is enough to put me off food when we are visiting!


    I sooooo wish restaurants did this everywhere! I mean, I know some people would be scared off, but knowing that info would actually make me more willing to eat a larger dish if I had the opportunity to plan ahead.

    The NYS law only applies to restaurants that have a certain amount of locations. A local diner won't have the calorie counts on it if there's less than ten or twenty, or whatever the number is.
  • janjunie
    janjunie Posts: 1,200 Member
    edited June 2016
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    slava977 wrote: »
    The following is somewhat off topic but an interesting observation... I live in Vancouver, Canada and there is A LOT of social pressure to be thin/normal and physically active. I'm 39, 5'7 and 172 lbs (spread proportionately - my stomachs is almost completely flat) - and I feel VERY BIG when I attend a party or a social gathering around here. Three weeks ago I attended a bridal shower with 35 women in attendance and I was BY FAR the largest person in the room. Most women were size 4-6. And those were just random women from all walks of life (between the ages of 27 and 45), only the bride was their common connection for the most part..

    Then a week ago I drove to Washington state to visit a friend. I was just north of Seattle (about 30 minutes from downtown). On the way to her place I stopped at a local Safeway to pick up some groceries. Something caught my eye and I started paying attention. About 85% of women (customers/staff) in that store were larger than me.. I'd say about 30% of women were over 250 lbs. Even most young girls were heavy. It really made an impression on me. There must be something very wrong overall with people's diet in the US. I'm not saying it to offend anyone (US is a great country and I have many friends there) - I just don't understand how and why is it the case? And why is it so different from Vancouver?

    I live just south of Vancouver and have travelled all over the USA. You have to keep in mind YVR has a lot of Asians living here, many first generation Chinese that stick to the food they ate back in China.

    Where I live most people drive, cause lets just face it walking is dangerous. despite our wide roads people can't manage to stay in their lane let alone on the road and not hit a pole on the sidewalk. We do however, have plenty of trails that are well used.

    There are at least 5 gyms in this city, many community centres and countless specialized fitness studios (yoga, crossfit...etc). Buffets in yvr are expensive and the variety is lacking, whereas in the USA buffets are glorious, it's like Disney land, you have to go more then once to see...eat everything.

    One thing that really stands out though, in the USA more people eat in their cars. Not just snacks but full on meals. It's just not as common here IMO.
  • aloranger7708
    aloranger7708 Posts: 422 Member
    edited June 2016
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    I watch this show.

    I think she likes being fat because she loves being dependent on other people and loves the attention. Examples: she always gets attention for being fat (recently she was stuck on the ground and needed help from her boyfriend), her parents are constantly taking care of her (shaving her legs for her.. eww), her friend massages her feet.. It's just bizarre.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    I think her "liking being fat" is just her way of trying to fool herself. Admitting that she doesn't like it would be admitting that she has a problem that needs to be fixed. I think she doesn't want to admit that she has a problem because she's just too lazy to fix it.
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
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    I like the show , I love her mom.

    I think she is a lot more real than the extreme weight loss shows etc... she is having health complications and she is struggling to make the needed changes. She is also struggling to find balance between wanting to be healthier and body acceptance.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
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    I watch this show.

    I think she likes being fat because she loves being dependent on other people and loves the attention. Examples: she always gets attention for being fat (recently she was stuck on the ground and needed help from her boyfriend), her parents are constantly taking care of her (shaving her legs for her.. eww), her friend massages her feet.. It's just bizarre.

    This is what I mean by factoring quality of life into the health equation. If you're an adult who needs help shaving your legs, that's not healthy. If it's due to factors that you could control but chose not to, your head isn't healthy. And how is it not enabling for other people to actually do that stuff for her?
  • Owlie45
    Owlie45 Posts: 806 Member
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    cinnag4225 wrote: »
    mitch16 wrote: »
    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    There are plenty of restaurants in Manhattan (let alone the rest of the city) with non huge portions. I expect this is true in any city, but especially one with the variety of restaurants that NYC has. I know this is true in Chicago, even though we are as stereotyped as anywhere for unhealthy food in huge amounts. For someone to think they can generalize about the food available in a huge and diverse city at all, let alone based on some mediocre national chain is so odd to me.

    That New York state has a law that calorie counts must be stated on the menu (and realizing that they are probably underestimated, too) is enough to put me off food when we are visiting!


    I sooooo wish restaurants did this everywhere! I mean, I know some people would be scared off, but knowing that info would actually make me more willing to eat a larger dish if I had the opportunity to plan ahead.

    The NYS law only applies to restaurants that have a certain amount of locations. A local diner won't have the calorie counts on it if there's less than ten or twenty, or whatever the number is.

    Washington state is 20+ locations. Clearly posted and the same size as the price.