Lack of support:(

Caitu13

Hello there! Fellow desk sitter all day, mother of a 3 year old here!! Feel free to add me!!

A_Warrior_Princess

Request sent and on it's way.!

Mischievous_Rascal

I was in the same situation, more or less, but I'm just way more stubborn than my husband.

Sent you a request.

JaymieMichele

My best motivation is how I feel after I work out. And how I feel when a pair of jeans or outfit fits better on me than before. That is why I keep pushing myself! We are friends on here now! We will support each other!

TeresaMarie46

Request sent.

MrsGrinde

sending you a request

MeowSkull

I have a very similar situation, sending you are request!

kizzyb1977

I have no support either and I actually met someone from MFP that lives in my area. We workout together at the gym and have become friends. What better then to have someone that is aiming for the exact same thing as you! Just an idea.

chrissysue

Good afternoon everyone!
I have sent everyone (I think) a friend request.
I am in need of support.
I have used MFP several times and left a bit ago because I didnt feel I was getting much if any support and got discouraged.
THought I would come back and see if I could fing a new group of friends.
Looking forward to getting to know everyone.
Chris

mazdauk

@crochetluvr he feels he has the harder job and more strenuous 10 hr shift than my sitting 10 hr shift plus he is stuck in the wife does it all thing that comes from his up bringing.

Remind him this is the 21st century - if you both work you both have to share the home stuff (good and bad). It took me a while to train Hubby as his father was a "sit at the table and ask for all the extras plus second helpings" type, so MIL only sat down when he was done and gone to watch TV (and THAT is why she has digestive problems!!). When our eldest was less than 4 months I went back top work full time so hubby got used to sharing chores, changing nappies and everything (I think my father changed one nappy each for me and my sister as my mother stayed at home til we were at school).

When I only worked 2 days a week I did most of the chores (and a LOT of baking), but as my hours have gone up again my chores have come down proportionately. My friends who are SAHMs don't feel they can ask their husbands to do any ironing or anything, but as hubby and I both work full time we automatically share the chores - apart from anything else, if you let him sit on his a** all day its a poor example to your son! If you work full time as well (or even close to it) then you are mentally exhausted and just as in need of a break, not to start a 4-hour shift as commis chef!

ETA my Hubby and I are both in our late 40s, you look much younger so unless you married a pensioner your husband has no excuse!!!

RockClimber69

Sending request. I could also do with motivation. My fiance, bless him, spends most evening on the couch too. I don't begrudge him that time at all, I just find it hard to get motivated to go and workout on my own.

gettinfitaus

..... and take care ofy 2 year old son I'm really not motivated to do anything.

Isn't he HIS son, too?? If you work all day, your H should be willing to give you a break so you can do a workout. This isn't just about weight loss support...its about pulling your own weight, IMO.

Totally agree with this! My DP willingly looks after our 3 while I go for a run on weekends and the only reason he doesn't actively do it during the week is they are usually in bed by the time he gets home!

But I cwanted to add that i cook 1 meal. That is it. If I cook you eat what you are given or get your own. I would seriously encourage you to start transitioning you husband to this because what happens when your DS starts wanting something different? Are you going to cook 3 different meals? What about if you have more kids? It will get crazy.

I am a firm believer in the fact that I'm not just doing this for me, if I am healthier then I am more able to care for everyone else so therefore exercise and a healthy lifestyle is a priority.

possumfeet0910

@mazdauk I do believe that's what I needed lol I tall to my Beastie about this stuff she says the same thing as many of you and I think I just heard it so long it goes in one ear and out the other but hearing well reading it from y'all really opened my eyes today I really and truly can't express my thanks and gratitude for all your advice! I am truly grateful!


@akforster82 yeah I don't think I want my son asking for something different...

FROM TODAY ON THIS GIRL ONLY COOKS 1 DINNER EACH NIGHT!!!


Yay I feel better!

I will stick with that y'all I promise!

dancer1178

Feel free to add me! I'm on here most days and love having the support as well! My BF is supportive and will try anything I cook for him, and it works most of the time, lol. We split chores and all that (he knew when I moved in, I hate the dishes and I know he hates the bathrooms!) But he too would rather sit on the couch and catch up on the dvr than do something active. He used to play baseball and is great at it, and he was raised in a dance studio with a dance teacher for a mother. He's always been active but old injuries and new aches and pains tend to become a crutch. I too have many dance injuries but I am a dance teacher and Zumba instructor so I get exercise with that (also am a retail manager and a waitress...who really wants kids! lol) I have always struggled with my weight and just want to be healthy to have and raise kids (I'm 34). I also want to encourage him to be active but it's hard because I am so active I need the rest. I'm hoping that making small changes to our diet and our habits, one thing at a time, will help us both. I would say the same to you. Don't change it all at once. Most men don't like change. I would tell him you need the support, be upfront about your feelings or they will continue to get lost. Then slowly start to include new recipes (and yes, don't cook twice). Then after that tell him "On Thursday night, I would like to attend a class with so-so (or go for a walk, got the gym etc), I will only be gone for an hr/hr and half, but I need you to make sure the lil guy is down for the night." Just word it so it's not asking, you are not expected to ask permission in a partnership. Hopefully over time these things are then habits. Good luck! xoxo

blah2989

wow, you are working too hard. this is what i would change. do not make two dinners. make one. like if you make chicken with mashed potatoes and gravey and veggies make the potatoes with almond milk,dont add butter add spices you like and grill the chicken or pan fry with cooking spray, instead of frying. little changes to make it healthy. if he complains, tell him hes welcome to buy or make his own dinner. do you let your little one watch tv? if so watch a show with him while jogging in place or doing squats. i sit my 2yr old on my belly and do leg lift laying down to work my lower abs.i even made up this little routine. i hold one of the kids my hands under their arms straight out in front of me i do a squat, then slowly stand and lift him all the way up, which they love,then repeat, straight in front, then squat, slowly stand and lift up. its a good way to exercise and play with baby at the same time. my boys actually stand and wait for their turn lol. but if you are tired,then just do aten minute stretch routine or low impat workout,even just taking your little man on a walk around the block. but the most important thing is doing this for yourself not for your husband. tell him it hurts your feeling and you are doing your best. if this isnt for yourself then you wont be as dedicated and you may gain it back. atleast thats what happened with me. goodluck. you are doing great already, so try not to stress.

quiltlovinlisa

I'm a great cheerleader! Add me.

larsensue

..... and take care ofy 2 year old son I'm really not motivated to do anything.

Isn't he HIS son, too?? If you work all day, your H should be willing to give you a break so you can do a workout. This isn't just about weight loss support...its about pulling your own weight, IMO.

^^this!!! who cares if he was raised to think the wife does everything at home. HELLO this is the 21st century, women count too!!!! I'm here for you lady!

gingabebe

I agree with the one meal idea, please let us all know how it goes!
My husband's grandma would serve the men (lots of times there would be hired hands helping in the farm work to feed also) and would eat only after they were done. My grandma worked right alongside the men and would also cook a large amount in the early morning and then reheat & eat with everyone else. She also nursed all her children and I asked her if she took a break (from the milking & growing tobacco) when they were nursing and she said no, she carried her babies around in a sling and when they were hungry she would sit under a tree and feed them- she was quite a woman and I miss her dearly. Anyways, I had to do a bit of "training" to get my husband to understand a desk job is just as tiring as his physical one and that "outside" work (we also farm a bit) is no more important than "inside" work. He now cooks 30% of the time, doesn't complain about healthier meals and sometimes does the dishes. In his defense he does do more "heavy" work, but I will be dammed if he will sit in front of a TV will I am cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids. Our rule is we work together and it works for us.