Just got dumped...

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  • samhennings
    samhennings Posts: 441 Member
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    SassyMommasaurus wrote: »
    mbrown913 wrote: »
    SassyMommasaurus wrote: »
    Coldesthngwalkn wrote: »
    I'm not single but I've been thinking about going solo. I've gained 25lbs since the beginning of out relationship. I tend to gain and lose the same 10 lbs. He gets really frustrated and says I'm not trying. He even said he isn't attracted to me anymore.

    Classic mental abuse, you need to kick him to the curb girl.

    From a man's perspective, I wouldn't call that abuse if he is just saying what he feels. Would you rather he lie to you and say that he is still attracted to you when deep down he really isn't? I think the fact that he's being honest is a sign that he actually cares.

    Now if he is calling you out of your name, calling you a cow, etc, then yeah that's a bad thing.

    If you aren't attracted to someone anymore why stay in the relationship? Mental abuse is saying saying these things, bringing you down, making you feel insecure, AND STAYING IN THE RELATIONSHIP because it's a way to control you. I grew up watching this *kitten* with my parents. It doesn't always involve calling you names.

    You can try an justify it all you want to make yourself feel better for doing it, but IT IS mental abuse.


    Maybe he really loves her. Maybe he is hoping to refind that spark of attraction. Maybe, as @mbrown913 says he is just being completely honest, because he cares. Or maybe he is a complete a**hole and deserves to get the boot.

    Theres no one size fits all for these situations, and we are never likely to know what the real case is in this particular instance either.

    Honesty should not be automatically equated to mental abuse. Hearing something you dont like should not automatically be mental abuse. Sometimes it really is an expression of love, care or concern.

  • samhennings
    samhennings Posts: 441 Member
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    kandell wrote: »
    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago, and I've decided it's time to renew my dedication to getting healthy and in shape. In the three years we had dated I yo-yo-ed between the same 20 pounds, never able to get more than 2 or 3 pounds under where I was when we had started going out together. He didn't care about counting calories, and the only exercise he was interested in was bike riding outdoors (I hate outdoors. Very much an indoor person).

    Now that it's over and he's moved out, my sister is moving in with me and I am seriously going to commit to getting in shape. I have so much more free time and I think it's time to focus on myself and the things that I want again.

    Anyone other ladies recently single and looking to get fit? I could definitely use some friends :]

    I would really like to echo those saying you must do it for *you* and no one else. Its really, really important.

    Love yourself and look after yourself.

    Otherwise, good luck!

  • AngeloInTexas
    AngeloInTexas Posts: 52 Member
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    Not a lady, but in same boat. Use it as motivation, such strong feelings can be the best motivation to commit to this. Before you reach your goal you'll realize it's for you and your health. But it doesn't hurt to use that anger/despair/feelings to kick start this journey. Head up my friend...
  • MeLanceUppercut
    MeLanceUppercut Posts: 116 Member
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    Bad dudes are bad. Don't let him get in your head. This is YOUR journey.

    To quote the Avett Brothers:

    "Ain't no man can change me. Ain't no man can enslave me."

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