The body-face dilemma after 40

wisdomfromyou

I know you guys love motivation and success stories on this forum but I'm not a success story ( just yet). More like a mess story. To make a long story very short, last year I lost 30 lbs with the initial 10 lbs dropped unintentionally as a result of a pneumonia bout and another health scare which sent me into a pretty serious depressive episode. When I finally came around after about 3 months, I took advantage of the initial weight loss and continued with calorie counting and exercise over the summer. Total weight loss: 30 lbs.

Then in the fall things started to storm up badly at work and I entered another very stressful period during which I tend to overeat / lose track of how/what I eat / need lots of comfort food.

Result: In a year, I pretty much regained all the weight I'd lost. How simple is that?

In the meantime, I also noticed that the 30 lbs weight loss was not exactly without taxation. The volume loss in the face led to some cheek flattening and the very first signs of droopiness/ jowl tendency.

I am 43, granted, but up until this weight loss episode (at 42 yo) my face was picture perfect. The changes happened too abruptly not to be related to the weight fluctuation.

Now I am afraid that if I go back down in weight, the droopy/flat cheeks will get even worse.

I once read somewhere that after 40, women must choose between their face and their body.

Kinda depressing, especially for those women who had always carried more stock in face than in body ...

Rationally, I know one should probably choose body because of the health factor - buts one of us don't cope well with face-related vanity either.

Any advice ?

Thank you all.

queenliz99

It is what it is

Maxematics

"I once read somewhere that after 40, women must choose between their face and their body."

To be honest that sounds like a bunch of BS made up to put women down and make women hate themselves.
I've heard it all:

• After 30, your body goes downhill.
• Enjoy your twenties while you can because then aging sets in.
• After 25 your metabolism slows down. Expect to gain at least five pounds per year.
• You just can't lose weight the same way after 30.

Every woman is different. We have beautiful women here of all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages doing their thing and they don't have to choose their face or their body in the process. I'm sorry your face changed so much, but I have to wonder if it had to do with the rapid drop in weight more than anything. Staying hydrated, wearing SPF, getting adequate sleep, and taking good care of your skin all help.

jemhh

I'll turn 40 on July 22. Does this mean I have 24 days left before I need to invest in one of these?

wisdomfromyou

After 25 or 30... the body or anything definitely doesn't go "downhill".

After 40 though, nature sounds like it does mean business.

Ive always been fanatic about sun protection, etc and the texture/surface of my skin is still impeccable. My Trouble is with the underlying layers of fat. Once gone, face starts losing its original structure...:(

ogtmama

I am 41 and my face looks way better since I lost 27 pounds. (if I do say so myself )

MelaniaTrump

Savings account for a mini facelift at age 45 or 50?

haviegirl

For me, being healthy and feeling great is the most important thing, and weighing 35 pounds less has done wonders for that. But I'm also a person who isn't afraid of medical/surgical help when necessary. Botox, fillers, etc, done by a skillful practitioner with a light hand, can do wonders. It's not up everyone's alley, but it's definitely up mine. I'm 53, by the way. Only doing a tiny bit of Botox at the moment, but leaving all options open!

rainbowbow

as far as i'm concerned you will always look younger, more vibrant, and more healthful if you're an appropriate weight and fitness level. It radiates throughout your entire being.

If you have specific issues though, you can always look into surgical procedures. Fillers, Botox, Lasers, Cosmetic surgery, etc. all exist for a reason.

RoxieDawn

I am 47 and I have not chosen either.. It is what it is, I do everything that I can do, eat right, exercise, etc.. and my aging skin, some flab still hanging around, is just gonna hang around..

I am 85% solid grey hair.. so can I choose that?.. nope.. I tried to color it all my life.. decided to give that up too.. I embrace it, wrinkles, flab, grey hair, sun damage, you name it..

seekingdaintiness

plastic surgery

Lounmoun

I'm 42 and I lost 25 lbs over about 6 months and have maintained for several months before approaching losing more. I'm still about 10 lbs overweight. I don't think my face looks very different at all. My neck has gotten thinner but nothing is sagging.
Maybe it is more the speed of your loss that contributes to a significant droop?

I'm going to choose being a healthy weight at this point in my life. If things sag or get flat then that is how I will be.

jules159

I'm 47 and I am so much happier with my body now than I ever was. I do have some issues with my neck but not my face. I'm self conscious about it and don't like the way it looks but I wouldn't trade how much better I feel or look for my neck to not look the way it does. I've attached my before and after of my face. I'm much happier with the way I look now even with the neck issue.

ThisisnotTinder

HHHMMMM....Sounds like BS to me too. I'll be 46 on Thursday and dropped to 125 (losing 20 lbs.) I have always had "fat" cheeks. I found the weight loss did not give me droopy skin/muscle tone on my face but actually accentuated my bone structure a little more...a more defined jaw line..if you will.

Everyone is different and weight loss affects everyone is a different way. I dont think you have to choose between your face and your body. Just take it slow so your skin has time to catch up..and keep hydrated.

Good luck to you!

SLLRunner

Acceptance that we have no control over what happens to our bodies with aging.

Acceptance that we don't get to choose where we lose weight.

Acceptance of ourselves as we are in the here and now, with a plan to change what we can, accept what we can't and the wisdom to know the difference.

becky10rp

Stay out of the sun, use sunscreen. I'm 50 - met my goal - very happy with both the face and the body.

emdeesea

I'll be 45 this year and I've noticed the sag in my face.

Oh well, that's fine. Because I feel good and I have more energy than I've ever had.

I've stopped coloring my hair, too. I'll just go gray. Coloring is too expensive anyway.

__leis__

Talk to a dermatologist, there are so many fillers, lasers, skin tightening options out there. You're bound to find something that works for you. Choose health because that's something you can control, seek help from a dr. for the things you cant.

DancingMoosie

When I first lost weight, my face really showed it. My skin looked kinda saggy and my face looked much older. However, after a couple of years, it looks better. You have to give it some time to catch up and shrink a little, especially if you lose weight quickly. Obviously, if you have been over weight for many years, some of that skin is not going to shrink back all the way. Is it worth it? You have to decide once you get there. I decided that my original weight loss was too drastic and that I looked better with 5 or so more pounds. So I gained them back. It is a kind of balancing act. I don't choose between my face and my body. I choose fitness and health:)

iammeinnh

I'm 49 and I choose to be healthy. People always say that I don't look 49, and that's nice. But, I don't want to FEEL 49, and older. If you are worried about your skin, complexion, etc. then get a good skin care regimen, get a facial (love facials) and drink lots of water. You will have a healthy glow.

Francl27

It's all genetics. But yes I've read more than once that some women decided to stay a bit overweight just so their face would look good. It just depends on where your body likes storing fat.

Heck I'm 38 and my neck is already a disaster.

capaul42

eveandqsmom wrote: »

I am 41 and my face looks way better since I lost 27 pounds. (if I do say so myself )

Same here with a loss currently of 37lbs.

robininfl

My mom had chubby cheeks when young and then hollow cheeks as an adult - I am not sure when it happened but I was always convinced that one day I would get out of bed and my face would have collapsed.

I'm 48 and it hasn't happened yet. Mind you, I have used night cream since my twenties and pretty much have never washed my face without applying moisturizer, and I live in a hot humid climate, I think all of those things help. I do take some sun, but not much.

I'm thinking that the menopause may be the pivot for me, though. I'm pretty happy with my health and looks now, and wasn't when I was young so thus far it's been a slow upward trend, but I do fear the menopause.

wisdomfromyou

Thank you all - your direction does help.

My goal us is lose no more than 16 lbs at this point. I'm 176... Need to go to 159 and then done. That would put me right at the 24.9 BMI. Maintenance will be key from that point on. Last year I had reached 8 lbs less than my goal now but I don't want to go back there.

A BMI of 24.9, more muscle, fewer "downs" induced by health scares ( I suffer from major health anxiety) ...and maybe some fillers - and that should hopefully do the job.

All of you 40+ here look beautiful. Thank you again!

robininfl

I should note, I also quite like the Jack LaLane "face exercises". I know face muscles aren't a replacement for skin bounce but it can't hurt, is good for lymph movement and building at least some cushion in there. I feel silly as heck doing them but think it helps. Google 'em.

kkmsann

Love yourself! You are as beautiful on the outside as you feel on the inside. This is all mental. If you're face was "picture perfect" before, I can't image that you are soooo worse off after becoming more healthy. Forget what people think. You are in control of your body and your beauty. Plastic surgery can't change the inside. Attractiveness is less about physical appearance and more about self-confidence. Work on that with your weight and health journey and you will find yourself in a much better place emotionally! Be blessed BEAUTIFUL ONE!

Nachise

I will be 65 next week, and my face looks great after losing 61 pounds. There is a tiny bit of droop along the jawline, but nothing like it was when I had the extra weight.

iammeinnh

kkmsann What a lovely post.

trusty48

Remember that health is the root of all beauty- both in mind, body and spirit.

(On a practical note, I noticed some sagginess when I lost weight initially too (mostly on my thighs/derrière) but after a year of maintaining this has mostly gone away. You may find that your sagginess improves slowly over time too.

Finally, I use retin-A on my face, which I started in my 20s because of bad acne but now I use for anti-aging. This may be something you want to try. I've also started taking Biosil which is supposed to be good for both skin and bone density.

Hope this helps )

MostlyWater

Well, yes and no. We're all different.

Heartisalonelyhunter

trusty48 wrote: »

Remember that health is the root of all beauty- both in mind, body and spirit.

(On a practical note, I noticed some sagginess when I lost weight initially too (mostly on my thighs/derrière) but after a year of maintaining this has mostly gone away. You may find that your sagginess improves slowly over time too.

Finally, I use retin-A on my face, which I started in my 20s because of bad acne but now I use for anti-aging. This may be something you want to try. I've also started taking Biosil which is supposed to be good for both skin and bone density.

Hope this helps )

Do you think Biosil is worth the $?