The body-face dilemma after 40

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13

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  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    You're focusing on the wrong things to ever transition to being older.
  • MamaFunky
    MamaFunky Posts: 735 Member
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    I was not aware of this dilemma and I am 42. Make the best of what you have and be confident. :smile:
  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 668 Member
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    JaneSnowe wrote: »
    frankiesgirlie wrote: »
    Being happy and healthy looks better on everyone.
    Photos are me at 42 and then yesterday at 55.
    Do I look the same?? Heck no. But I'm healthy, happy, and above ground!!
    by9sltqicme5.jpeg
    gb892nylxeox.jpeg

    You look way different without the mustache! ;)

    (Just teasing! You're beautiful!)

    I love that!!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    wisdomfromyou wrote: »
    I know you guys love motivation and success stories on this forum but I'm not a success story ( just yet). More like a mess story. To make a long story very short, last year I lost 30 lbs with the initial 10 lbs dropped unintentionally as a result of a pneumonia bout and another health scare which sent me into a pretty serious depressive episode. When I finally came around after about 3 months, I took advantage of the initial weight loss and continued with calorie counting and exercise over the summer. Total weight loss: 30 lbs.

    Then in the fall things started to storm up badly at work and I entered another very stressful period during which I tend to overeat / lose track of how/what I eat / need lots of comfort food.

    Result: In a year, I pretty much regained all the weight I'd lost. How simple is that?

    In the meantime, I also noticed that the 30 lbs weight loss was not exactly without taxation. The volume loss in the face led to some cheek flattening and the very first signs of droopiness/ jowl tendency.

    I am 43, granted, but up until this weight loss episode (at 42 yo) my face was picture perfect. The changes happened too abruptly not to be related to the weight fluctuation.

    Now I am afraid that if I go back down in weight, the droopy/flat cheeks will get even worse.

    I once read somewhere that after 40, women must choose between their face and their body.

    Kinda depressing, especially for those women who had always carried more stock in face than in body :) ...

    Rationally, I know one should probably choose body because of the health factor - buts one of us don't cope well with face-related vanity either.

    Any advice ?

    Thank you all.

    Just throwing this out there...these things are often a perception of our minds eye and not reality...

    My wife is 42 and we've both lost quite a bit of weight...her face isn't droopy in the least...she looks fantastic and fit and she looks younger in the face.
  • robininfl
    robininfl Posts: 1,137 Member
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    frankiesgirlie wrote: »
    Being happy and healthy looks better on everyone.
    Photos are me at 42 and then yesterday at 55.
    Do I look the same?? Heck no. But I'm healthy, happy, and above ground!!

    I think you look better older! Very fortunate bone structure and big eyes, so less cushioning looks dramatic and beautiful, not gaunt or droopy. You don't look younger, you look older but BETTER!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    wisdomfromyou wrote: »
    I know you guys love motivation and success stories on this forum but I'm not a success story ( just yet). More like a mess story. To make a long story very short, last year I lost 30 lbs with the initial 10 lbs dropped unintentionally as a result of a pneumonia bout and another health scare which sent me into a pretty serious depressive episode. When I finally came around after about 3 months, I took advantage of the initial weight loss and continued with calorie counting and exercise over the summer. Total weight loss: 30 lbs.

    Then in the fall things started to storm up badly at work and I entered another very stressful period during which I tend to overeat / lose track of how/what I eat / need lots of comfort food.

    Result: In a year, I pretty much regained all the weight I'd lost. How simple is that?

    In the meantime, I also noticed that the 30 lbs weight loss was not exactly without taxation. The volume loss in the face led to some cheek flattening and the very first signs of droopiness/ jowl tendency.

    I am 43, granted, but up until this weight loss episode (at 42 yo) my face was picture perfect. The changes happened too abruptly not to be related to the weight fluctuation.

    Now I am afraid that if I go back down in weight, the droopy/flat cheeks will get even worse.

    I once read somewhere that after 40, women must choose between their face and their body.

    Kinda depressing, especially for those women who had always carried more stock in face than in body :) ...

    Rationally, I know one should probably choose body because of the health factor - buts one of us don't cope well with face-related vanity either.

    Any advice ?

    Thank you all.

    Just throwing this out there...these things are often a perception of our minds eye and not reality...

    My wife is 42 and we've both lost quite a bit of weight...her face isn't droopy in the least...she looks fantastic and fit and she looks younger in the face.

    I lost 80 pounds and look 5 years older sadly.
  • kuksabs
    kuksabs Posts: 55 Member
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    I will turn 49 next month. After losing 18 lbs everyone says I look way younger. Guess it is because my neck looks a lot thinner, my face still looks chubby. Also lifting weights have toned up my flabby arms and tummy area.

    In fact today I had gone to the passport office to renew my passport. The lady there while going through my papers was surprised when she saw my age, looked up at me and said I looked 20 years younger. Also said in the old passport photo I looked way older.

    I've been using Retin A for several years now, and am diligent about using sunscreen.

    Being healthy and happy is what counts in the end.
  • lulalacroix
    lulalacroix Posts: 1,082 Member
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    I am 47 and definitely do not have the face/body I once had. However, my goals have changed. I'm losing weight and plan to run my first marathon when I turn 50. I would like to be the strongest I've ever been. I lift heavy and have every intention of transforming my body.

    That being said, I also have every intention of getting some kind of neck skin surgery once I'm in good shape. I'm just rolling with the punches so to speak.
  • robininfl
    robininfl Posts: 1,137 Member
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    I get mistaken for younger or older, it has to do with CONTEXT only, as far as I can tell.

    If I have only my younger kids with me, people think I'm in my late 30s
    If I have only my older kids with me, people think I am my age, I get comments about "sisters" but that's shameless flattery, not estimation of age.

    If I have all my kids with me, people think I am a grandma.

    I don't think people really have a good handle on what different ages look like.
    My car wash guy is 50, he asked me the other day why I didn't have a kid with the Fiance...I nearly spit out my drink since he knows we already have NINE kids between us, but he said "why not make it an even ten? You are just thirty-something, right?" I told him sure, I am thirty-eighteen. He looked shocked. But I don't think he was basing this on looks. I think it's just that in his world women have kids YOUNG so it was reasonable that I'd have a 24 year old as my oldest but be thirty something, and less reasonable that I would have a nine year old and be nearly his age.

    @ the OP

    Give it time, skin can bounce back over time, and like some previous responses I recommend the Retin-A, just get the generic cream, it's not too crazy expensive and does keep skin looking better.
  • godlikepoetyes
    godlikepoetyes Posts: 442 Member
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    Look at you, radiosilents, rocking the lipstick! Huzzah!!
  • afatpersonwholikesfood
    afatpersonwholikesfood Posts: 577 Member
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    I'm younger than you guys, but I have had some similar face negativity since losing weight. It's not that I think I look old, and I love having a defined jaw and slender neck, but the last time I weighed what I currently weigh, I was 19.

    I'm 30 now, and I have lost 180 pounds. I uncovered a face that is 30. Maybe late 20's. This would be fine if it didn't seem to happen overnight. I had the 19-year-old image in my head, but naturally, that was unrealistic. So it's an adjustment.
  • stillnot2late
    stillnot2late Posts: 385 Member
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    wisdomfromyou wrote: »
    I know you guys love motivation and success stories on this forum but I'm not a success story ( just yet). More like a mess story. To make a long story very short, last year I lost 30 lbs with the initial 10 lbs dropped unintentionally as a result of a pneumonia bout and another health scare which sent me into a pretty serious depressive episode. When I finally came around after about 3 months, I took advantage of the initial weight loss and continued with calorie counting and exercise over the summer. Total weight loss: 30 lbs.


    Kinda depressing, especially for those women who had always carried more stock in face than in body :) ...

    Thank you for posting your problem. I am maintaining at 20 pounds over because I am afraid of what you are complaining about. It took a long time to get accustomed to my daughter's face after her 130 pound loss but it eventually "got there". when I was your age I went to this mini face tuck place that they advertise on TV, very minimal invasion, wide awake. After I sat in the chair I panicked and left. I'm 67 now and I'm still afraid of that jowl thing. But I need to let go of this 20 pounds. I'm extremely vain but I guess I will take my chances. I hope you get answers.
  • stillnot2late
    stillnot2late Posts: 385 Member
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    Finally, I use retin-A on my face, which I started in my 20s because of bad acne but now I use for anti-aging. This may be something you want to try. I've also started taking Biosil which is supposed to be good for both skin and bone density.

    Hope this helps :smile: )[/quote]

    I used the retin-A for acne in my 30s, and I'm using it for acne and anti aging now at 66. There is a commercial by Clearasil that tells this kid "acne will not last" - they need to check that lie out and retract that statement, my whole old age family and most of my old friends have acne! But yes Retin-A, I love it, will not be without it.

  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 668 Member
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    jules159 wrote: »
    I'm 47 and I am so much happier with my body now than I ever was. I do have some issues with my neck but not my face. I'm self conscious about it and don't like the way it looks but I wouldn't trade how much better I feel or look for my neck to not look the way it does. I've attached my before and after of my face. I'm much happier with the way I look now even with the neck issue.

    6sl9t21rvj61.jpg


    Your slim face makes your beautiful eyes pop!! Great job!!
  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 668 Member
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    robininfl wrote: »
    frankiesgirlie wrote: »
    Being happy and healthy looks better on everyone.
    Photos are me at 42 and then yesterday at 55.
    Do I look the same?? Heck no. But I'm healthy, happy, and above ground!!

    I think you look better older! Very fortunate bone structure and big eyes, so less cushioning looks dramatic and beautiful, not gaunt or droopy. You don't look younger, you look older but BETTER!

    Thank you. I appreciate that. I live a MUCH healthier life now than I did back then.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I'm over forty and a thin person and I don't have saggy jowls, sunken cheeks and wrinkles. When I'm carrying more weight my face just looks bloated, not youthful. I think it's different for everyone, though.

    To me, if you're gonna get old either way, you might as well be fit and old. I can't say that I have ever found a fat, round, younger-looking face to be inherently more attractive than an thinner, supposedly-older looking face. I'd personally rather look like a fit, attractive older woman than a mediocre, out-of-shape younger one. That's just my personal preference though. Other people might think I'm crazy. Whatever.

    I think people should be whatever they want to be. :)
  • ALG775
    ALG775 Posts: 246 Member
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    frankiesgirlie wrote: »
    Being happy and healthy looks better on everyone.
    Photos are me at 42 and then yesterday at 55.
    Do I look the same?? Heck no. But I'm healthy, happy, and above ground!!
    by9sltqicme5.jpeg
    gb892nylxeox.jpeg

    You look beautiful- and I love your smile! I can feel your energy coming through your picture!

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