Dating is tough
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It is exhausting, I know. When I was 25 maybe it was fun. Starting over at 30 after getting out of a long term relationship...it was fun for 2 weeks. Now I can't be bothered. I started dating a guy from my gym instead...dangerous, but fun.0
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The thing about online dating is that a lot of the people on there (a lot, not ALL) are online (and not meeting people in real life) for a REASON.
I can't tell you how many guys I met who were obviously on the autism spectrum, which makes socialization very difficult. Typing is one thing; actually speaking and responding to another person is entirely another and way too hard for some people to do.
Then there are the ones with detachment disorders who run at the slightest hint of involvement, always looking for the better deal.
And that's just talking about the guys. I never dated women or looked at any women's profiles, so I can't tell you about what's out there.
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ClubSilencio wrote: »The thing about online dating is that everyone who is online dating is dating other online daters. #Deep
It's like you said... you've dated 15 blokes since Easter. Even if you mesh with someone they are getting in their 15 dates too. I remember envisioning marriage on my first online date, but she just wanted to slam some brews and dance to the remix of "Ignition". It was a grounding experience.
Online dating is still pretty good for hang outs. Maybe focus on forging friendships and see where it goes?
I just started two weeks ago and while it seems to be going well, this is what I am concerned about. I have talked to lots of women who have been doing it for years. I think some like the attention from multiple people and may not want to give that up. It's how some get there, in the first place.0 -
I haven't online dated, but I know people who have met their spouses online and they are very happy. I think it's kinda like dating people you meet other places, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I met my bf in a basement...it works.
(he was the bass player in a band my brother was in. They practiced in a basement studio)
This is the advice I give my nieces and nephews about dating.
-People are always on their best behavior for the first several dates. You aren't dating them, you are dating who they think you want them to be.
-Sex is fun, sex is great, viva la sex! But, you are a treasure. If you want casual sex, do it. But, if you want a lasting relationship don't give that away on the first date. Instant gratification holds nothing to waiting a while. Getting to know each other without the expectation and complications of having a sexual relationship right away. Waiting will build desire and excitement and give you time to discover more about your date.
=Going on a few dates isn't a 'relationship'. Don't date just one person exclusively unless you are in a relationship.
Listen to your Auntie Cheryl. Enjoy the hunt.
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ClubSilencio wrote: »The thing about online dating is that everyone who is online dating is dating other online daters. #Deep
It's like you said... you've dated 15 blokes since Easter. Even if you mesh with someone they are getting in their 15 dates too. I remember envisioning marriage on my first online date, but she just wanted to slam some brews and dance to the remix of "Ignition". It was a grounding experience.
Online dating is still pretty good for hang outs. Maybe focus on forging friendships and see where it goes?
Now, I'm not tryin to be rude...but (see what I did there?)...what is wrong with beers and R. Kelly?!?!?!
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I tried online dating for about two weeks.. I grew tired of it really fast. I just didn't believe anything they were saying.. like one guy "oh you're a police man?? Nice uniform but why does your house look like a crack den?? Was that picture taken whilst you were at work?? Oh it wasn't? Yeah. Not buying it dude" BLOCK.
It seemed pointless by the end and most people just came across as odd balls, or, the ones that I was attracted to, I didn't believe they were genuine anyway.
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jbconnelly wrote: »ClubSilencio wrote: »The thing about online dating is that everyone who is online dating is dating other online daters. #Deep
It's like you said... you've dated 15 blokes since Easter. Even if you mesh with someone they are getting in their 15 dates too. I remember envisioning marriage on my first online date, but she just wanted to slam some brews and dance to the remix of "Ignition". It was a grounding experience.
Online dating is still pretty good for hang outs. Maybe focus on forging friendships and see where it goes?
Now, I'm not tryin to be rude...but (see what I did there?)...what is wrong with beers and R. Kelly?!?!?!
Read that on Kellys singing voice lol
I can't get it out of my head now!0 -
I don't have any advice. I think you are awesome to have gone on so many dates. I have only lasted a week on any online dating site. Got overwhelmed, went on one date, quit the site and told myself I'd try again later. I think it is hard to put yourself out there and courageous of you to do so. Best of luck!1
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I just started my first relationship after losing tons of weight. So far the issue I've had with dating is watching all my male 'friends' disappear the moment I tell them I'm now in a relationship.
It's weird watching a man back away quickly without moving at all.1 -
Girl... you are gorgeous!lizzyluvs_life wrote: »Ive recently started online dating maybe in the last months. Its overwhelming. Lots of people who start of great on the first chat end up being all pervy and wanting way to much. It's hard to find the good ones. I've been going on dates with someone I met online It's going ok. Just getting to know each other.
I'm a chubby girl so it's like I assume people will think I'm catfishing them lol so I over think it and make sure to post pics from all angles hahahahahha. I dread that moment of someone thinking I tricked them though it has not happened. I think I just freak out to much. Dating is hard
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@Stakmaster You are a good looking guy... don't let your old self keep you away from your other half1
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Bennysammysofiesdad wrote: »Huh?! What?!
I'm saying go out with friends. Hang out. Meet people. You shouldn't need to online dating.
Go to clubs. Walk down the street. Get outta your apartment or off your phone and meet people.
That's not always possible. People move to a new city because of a job and don't have friends initially. It takes a while to make friends, and some people aren't good at it, or don't want a lot of friends. Some people don't like going to bars or clubs. For these people, online dating is a great way to meet people.
I remember when I was single in a new city, everyone at my job was either married, out of my age range to hang out with as friends, or had completely different interests. I met a lot of people while online dating, had maybe 30 dates, and dated 3 girls over 3-months each. Some became friends, and I met their friends, and this started my social network.
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Sugar_Pill wrote: »15 dates since Easter?! I haven't had 15 people say hi since Easter... Sheesh
Well hey there.. Hi how are you ??1 -
Sugar_Pill wrote: »Sugar_Pill wrote: »15 dates since Easter?! I haven't had 15 people say hi since Easter... Sheesh
Well hey there.. Hi how are you ??
Hello! I'm alright, thanks!
How are you?!
I'm good. I couldn't resist because you said that no one says hi to you.1 -
I don't mind online dating...only bc I don't take it seriously at all. (I think that's how you have to be.) I don't expect anything of it. Any date I have is just for good foodz and meeting someone new. If it doesn't work out or they aren't what I expected, I just move on and don't think much of it.
My best advice is to do online dating to meet new people, have experiences, and stay in the game. Don't do it with the expectation of finding a relationship. (As weird as that sounds.)
I will also say though, that after six months of semi-frequent online dating, my current relationship came from meeting someone while out and about. So, also push yourself to get out more and take chances talking to people.
Edit:
1. I'll also second what someone above said about meeting as soon as possible, rather than talking online forever. That deters the disappointment and feeling like you wasted your time if the person ends up being different than you thought.
2. And I'll second the idea of focusing on foraging friendships and see where that goes. A lot of my very best friends I met on Tinder. (I'm serious
)
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my dad's divorce has not even finished yet and he has already met a gorgeous woman 12 years younger than him and is dating it up without using online dating...
ive been single for 5 years and have not been on a date in 3 years
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salembambi wrote: »my dad's divorce has not even finished yet and he has already met a gorgeous woman 12 years younger than him and is dating it up without using online dating...
ive been single for 5 years and have not been on a date in 3 years
I guess your dad has found himself a sugar baby
no shes a very successful 40 year old lady who def does not need his money3 -
Thanks y'all. If nothing else you've made me laugh. I'm a very self-confident woman and am sure i'll find the right guy somewhere, although maybe not online. The guy who just winked at me as a diaper fetish...2
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Dating is flippin brutal. Married for 15 years then took 4 months off before jumping into the dating pool. At first its fun then it gets old and you just want to settle into something. I did just that and that was also a mistake. The real fun begins when you start questioning your own judgement.
The struggle is real!2 -
I've been on and off online dating. And honestly have only been on a couple dates over the last 2 years. I'm a travel nurse and meeting people is hard. I also work third shift. Loneliness tends to get the best of me when you're in a new city and know no one. But I've landed in 1 place for a while now so I'm working on me (getting back into a workout routine and diet) and trying to put myself out there with a open mind. Meanwhile I refuse to just sit home cause I don't know anyone. I do a lot by myself including vacations... You never know who you will meet. Just keeping an open mind.1
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I'm in the same vote but I've kind of given up on dating in general. I've been single a long time. Chemistry is extremely tough to find. Now I just travel and focus on life without the dream of "finding the one" I also look very young for my age and it's always made dating even tougher. I wish it was easier.1
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Been single for a while. Haven't dated. What I did (do) is join a meetup group that goes to local venues to hear a live cover band on a regular basis. There are between 20 to 80 people on any given event. So I dance the night away with a number of nice ladies and have a good time. I get out, enjoy having company and none of the "pressure" of dating. Maybe I will meet the one with whom I have chemistry, but not looking for it and enjoying not being alone all the time.1
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It is tough. I was about to give up on dating completely when a wonderful guy showed up. I had to kiss a few frogs first but it worked out well in the end. We are 18 months into our relationship and no end in sight:)1
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salembambi wrote: »my dad's divorce has not even finished yet and he has already met a gorgeous woman 12 years younger than him and is dating it up without using online dating...
ive been single for 5 years and have not been on a date in 3 years
I like you this way
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Online dating scares me. I think it scares me to put myself out there but also because of some of the horror stories that I have heard.0
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I can't tell from your picture. Are you in your 30s?
Maybe you already do, but you need to have an account in at least 5 to 7 dating sites, relax race/religious restrictions a bit if you already haven't.
I started to look for a cute and devout desi catholic girl with big breasts and ended up marrying a white girl who is an atheist. She is more catholic in principle than a church-going catholic woman, all of whom thought I was a radical.
I see nothing wrong with trying 5-7 sites, but one should be able to narrow them down.
When I was looking for a serious relationship, OkCupid worked best for me. When I was just looking for some fun, niche sites that specialize in my proclivities worked best. OkCupid has great sorting/searching, and I am now engaged to someone I met there who shares my relationship values, politics, and proclivities.1
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