Your S/O said what?!
Replies
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I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
Shhhhhhhh. You know that honesty and telling it straight is mostly frowned upon in these forums. Stop rocking the boat!0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
My god you are reasonable. :flowerforyou:
Clearly she doesn't belong here. :laugh:0 -
My fiancé supports me as well, which I love! But, if he were to tell me, "You need to lose weight" with no regard to my feelings on what he just said, there'd be a problem. Obviously, if you're fat, you're fat and it shows they care if they do bring it up, but if they're emotionally and mentally abusive about it, they need to be gone! I read a post of woman who is around 100lbs, about 5'2" and her fiancé told her she needed to lose - really?!
I read the same post and I was floored. If that's fat, I'm a f*cking elephant...that will squish that little man and his little...opinion.0 -
My DH had a real go at me once: poking my fat bits and insulting me (for a little context, I was still comfortably within a healthy BMI).
I lost weight in the hope he would be nicer to me. He wasn't, so I thought 'Sod this!'and regained the weight.
The last time I lost weight, I did it for me and it stayed off.
However, leaving someone because they were mean about one thing once seems ridiculous to me. Whatever happened to 'for better, for worse'?0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
Shhhhhhhh. You know that honesty and telling it straight is mostly frowned upon in these forums. Stop rocking the boat!
Crap. What I meant to say is "Yeah! How dare he say that! So what if I'd gotten heavy, he should have told me I was lovely no matter what and that rainbows shoot outta my...eyes. We should just break up."
But seriously: In the case of the 100lb woman no, that's not 'supportive' and it seems mean, but whose the say what's really going on. Maybe she's small but out of shape. Maybe that's the fifth time she's asked today and he tripped up. Maybe what he really said was "Honey, if you aren't happy with yourself maybe you should start doing something." and she flipped her lid. Or maybe he's a D-bag and wants to break down her self-esteem. I have no clue.
But in general I don't believe a person who professes to love you/married you is going to try to hurt you by telling you you've put on weight. They may not say it kindly but they probably have good intentions.0 -
Have read posts and most make some sense. My take,,,,,,if one asks the significant other, then don't be offended; however, unsolicited comments about weight or any other negative physical trait are not fair play in any relationship0
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Men of the world, learn this lesson:
You can never satisfy a woman. She asks you a question, you lie and you're a liar and untrustworthy (what else might he lie about!?!?!?!?)
Tell the truth and you're being mean and crushing their feelings/self-esteem.
My advice is to go gay. Come sign up today at: www.limpwrists4all.com
This is why we're friends.
Actually if I did have a significant other I'd rely on her to give me direct and honest information. Whether it be about weight loss, lack of motivation at my job , or telling socially inappropriate jokes at parties.
But then again I get up every morning and put on my big boy pants so these things don't really bother me.0 -
I think there is a huge difference between gently suggesting that your S/O lose weight, and bordering on verbal abuse.
I agree with all the ladies on here who have stated that they asked their husbands if they were getting fat, and the husbands said yes, and there's nothing wrong with that because they were being honest. I also don't think there's anything wrong with "Honey, I've been meaning to talk to you about this... you've put on some weight recently and I feel that our physical relationship is suffering because of it. Would you like to start going to the gym with me?" Or something of that nature. Relationships are about honesty and communication. If a guy has become genuinely uncomfortable with his S/O's weight, there's nothing wrong with him telling her so. I would hope that I could do the same to my boyfriend if it got to that point.
That, of course, is WAY different than saying to a woman "You're fat/ugly" or "You need to lose weight" or "you look like a whale." Those things are hurtful and when said enough/with the right tone, can definitely constitute emotional abuse. Statements like those, especially when completely uncalled for, do nothing except make a woman feel down about herself and ruin herself esteem. Statements like those also usually lead to much harsher statements and even physical abuse in some cases. If a guy starts talking to you like that, get out.
Basically, men: think before you speak. If it would hurt you if your wife said it to you, you probably shouldn't say it to her. Treat others as you'd like to be treated. Golden rule. It's not that hard, really.0 -
My s/o told me that he loves me the way I am, will support me to lose weight if I want to, but would prefer I didn't get below a size 14 because he likes my... (and here he starts squishing my tummy going "woob woob woob"). Bless him.0
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He said, "Come here my little **** so I can **** your **** while we **** in the ****."
What, is this not a "Your S/O said what?" thread?0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
Between this and your other forum work today, I'm fairly certain that you should win the whole damned internet. :drinker:
I agree ~ I've so been enjoying ChelledBrown's words of wisdom all day too. I hope she'll accept my friend request
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I'm sorry, but I would prefer my husband to tell me, um dear, you've gained a few pounds. I want him to be honest - just not brutally. We both gained weight in the 10 years we have been together. He was almost 400 lbs. I didn't say uh you are fat. I said I'm scared of losing you, i'm scared your body is going to give out, i'm scared .. finally he decided last week to join me and eat better and lose weight.0
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Q. from my wife - Honey does this dress / pants make my butt look big.
A. from me - Baby, I love you just like you are. You're perfect.
Wife - I feel like a blob, am I getting fat?
Me - You look at beautiful today and when I met you 19 years ago.0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
I fcuking love you ...not in a creepy way tho :flowerforyou:0 -
BTW OP, I do know to which thread you're referring. But remember that we only get one person's version of any story here. It could be that he was being an *kitten*. Or it could be a number of other things.0
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My S/O has joined me on this journey and we both pick each other up now when one is falling down. This week he has been my rock and encouraging me. He never said I was overweight, but some intimacy and chemistry had gone. I lost 15lbs and it came back. Then he joined the gym, started eating right, and now our relationship is even better than before because we are healthier individuals, which can only make a healthier couple. I can't wait till I'm at my goal weight (long long LONG way to go) and he is happy with his muscle tone because then we are going to do something really special to celebrate - hopefully go climbing and zip lining which I REALLY want to do when I'm lighter and he wants to do again!
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Or quit being fat....0
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I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
in for the LoL, my s/o plays everyyyyy night & it's ridiculously fun to watch him ragequit0 -
I fcuking love you ...not in a creepy way tho :flowerforyou:
I love you too! Also not in a creepy way. ...unless you'd like that.
Do you get to witness a lot of "Everyone here is awful! They're just feeding the other team? I can't take this!!!"I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
in for the LoL, my s/o plays everyyyyy night & it's ridiculously fun to watch him ragequit
Cause that's my favorite part. Always followed by headset hitting the floor.0 -
I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.
"Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."
And then he turned back around.
I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.
TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?
Agree with this!! I would rather him tell me. Rather than say, oh, a neighbor girl who wears a size zero that he was flirting with on facebook while I was at work, me weighing in at 255 pounds and he is telling me he loves me no matter what. Then her being the one telling me that is why he thought about cheating on me. That hurts a LOT worse than hearing it from HIM directly, trust me!!
But, you know, thats just me, maybe not everyone prefers honesty! And in the end it didnt matter, because hearing it got me off my butt and I have lost the weight now, so #winning 0 -
I think it depends on how it's said. No, no one should belittle you no matter what you weigh and if they do, leave them like they have the plague. But if someone can be respectful of your feelings and tell you that they feel you should lose weight and you are over weight or obese then it may very well be someone trying to be concerned for your health and longevity or the physical attraction element of the relationship. Someone is not automatically the french word for shower just for saying you should lose weight.0
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Great conversation here tonight!0
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My husband said he didn't care how much I worked out as long as I was happy, healthy, and didn't hurt myself. He lost 60 pounds to get into the Army but kept gaining back when I cooked for him. Now that I've started this journey, he's on the path right next to me and not worried about his weigh-ins in the slightest.
At our heaviest, we both had body issues. Now that he's 190 and I'm 150, we still have body issues. Neither of us like what we see in the mirror, unless we're standing together. I think he's the sexiest man alive and he can't get enough of me.0 -
I like the feedback so far. Funny and opinionated! Yes, I do agree that it does depend on how it is said. For instance, "You're a fat *kitten* and need to lose weight" vs "Honey, how do you feel about yourself lately? Maybe if you were to workout and eat better you would feel better" IMO, that's definitely a better way of putting it, especially towards some of us women who tend to get very sensitive, such as myself. But, like I said, if you're 100lbs, there's no need for your s/o to say anything at all!0
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My husband's answer: "When I stop fcuking you, you'll know"
So far, so good.0 -
My hubby and I have been together for more than 20 years. Early on in the relationship I asked him if a particular outfit made me look fat. His answer: "Yes". I was kinda hurt. Then he said "Don't ask questions you don't really want to hear the answer to".
He was right. I did know the answer but was looking to him to change my mind. It taught me not to second guess myself. We get a lot of laughs about it now. He would NEVER come out and say something negative to me to purposely hurt me but he was (and still is) brutally honest when I asked (and I respect him for that).
This reminds me so much of my hubby. A conversation between Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton:
“I asked Blake, ‘Dude, why didn’t you tell me I got fat?’” she spills. “He said, ‘That would go over like a lead balloon. It’s not my job to tell you you’re fat. It’s my job to tell you’re beautiful.’”
I will never be skinny. I told my hubby I just want to be fit. I told him "If you want Barbie, good luck with your next wife"0
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