Fit Shaming

TheRootofGroot

Anyone surprised by some of the negativity that comes with pursuing a fit lifestyle, and some of the attitude you've gotten since you've achieved your goals?

The Planet Fitness thread got me thinking about some of the stigma attached to being fit.
How I'm subject to underhanded jokes about using steroids (which I don't).
Or how people will often treat me like I'm dumb.
Others assuming I've always been fit and therefore think my advice wouldn't be helpful to them.
Judging me for dedicating time to something that seems fruitless in modern society.

Worse still is people trying to explain to me why and how I'm wasting my time.

I'm pretty much a hermit anyways, keep to myself and all, but it just gets to me that something that has been so positive for me can generate more negativity than I can quickly recall.

Anyone else face similar challenges/annoyances?

cgvet37

I just ignore the ignorance.

daweasel

It took me an awfully long time to carve out the space and time for myself to pursue my fitness goals. I'd always been reasonably active but never really working towards anything in particular (I'm a cyclist/swimmer/runner). My wanting to go for a run was often met with such disdain, comments like "you don't *have* to go for a run you know" from him or he'd try and talk me out of going to the gym. His family are similarly incredulous about what I do. They think I'm crazy for enjoying it and finding it satisfying or whatever.

Another thing that is annoying is that especially as a female, people seem to assume I only do it to lose weight or whatever, not to achieve something or challenge myself. Even if I did, what's the harm in me wanting to stay healthy? Why look down on me because I spent my time riding my bike instead of playing xbox today? I don't judge people for their hobbies, don't judge me for mine.

jennifer_417

Honestly, it's mostly out of jealousy. You have attained what our culture has generally agreed upon as an ideal shape, which many people have themselves convinced they can't reach. So, in order to make themselves feel better about their choices, they attack you.

giantrobot_powerlifting

Yep, occasionally I'll hear a negative, snearing comment (from men) about the shape and size of my chest. Rank jealously.

1971MLJ

I totally get the weight loss thing. My reason for starting was purely fitness, my PT gave me the whole "you can't out exercise a bad diet" speech and got me to sign up to MFP to track my food. The weight loss was a happy side effect.
The assumption that I used a quick fix to get there. The whole "What's your secret?" thing - erm working my butt off and eating well. What do you eat? - you can't eat chocolate, you must cut carbs, is it low fat? etc etc and apparently you must use protein shakes.
I've told them a million times moderation and consistency, trying a new diet and giving up after a few days then trying another one won't work long term.
I work on a team with 4 other women and they're all either fasting, low carb, weight watchers, slimming world, high protein, juice plus, forever living every week and none of them can give you a reason why they're doing it other than they've heard it works. It drives me nuts on a daily basis I even had an argument about bagels this week. According to one of my colleagues they're not a bread product because they appear in some diet book she's following and it doesn't include any other bread therefore they can't be bread. Actually had to google it to prove they are bread. She then decided because they're boiled before baking it cancels out the carbs and makes them okay to eat.
I also hear how I'm lucky to have the time to exercise. Did you miss the part where I leave the house 2 hours before I start work so I can fit a workout in and cram my lunch in the shortest time possible so I can get to the gym at lunchtime? The only luck is realising my health is a priority and making sure I treat it as one.
Wow sorry that turned into a rant. So in summary yup get negativity all the time, now I just ignore it.

TheRootofGroot

cgvet37 wrote: »

I just ignore the ignorance.

Oh I do.
I've gotten zen in my old age.
Just reinforces my withdrawal from society.
As a kid I was ostracized for being a dork with glasses, when I gained weight in my late twenties I was treated with less respect, and now that I've sculpted a body for myself there is a new wave of vitriol.

daweasel wrote: »

It took me an awfully long time to carve out the space and time for myself to pursue my fitness goals. I'd always been reasonably active but never really working towards anything in particular (I'm a cyclist/swimmer/runner). My wanting to go for a run was often met with such disdain, comments like "you don't *have* to go for a run you know" from him or he'd try and talk me out of going to the gym. His family are similarly incredulous about what I do. They think I'm crazy for enjoying it and finding it satisfying or whatever.

Another thing that is annoying is that especially as a female, people seem to assume I only do it to lose weight or whatever, not to achieve something or challenge myself. Even if I did, what's the harm in me wanting to stay healthy? Why look down on me because I spent my time riding my bike instead of playing xbox today? I don't judge people for their hobbies, don't judge me for mine.

I guess a lot of people will automatically assume a woman is training for someone else, to appease to a societal standard. Kind of sad that.
But it's good you prevail and keep strong in your passion and set new goals for yourself without feeling the need to justify yourself.

jennifer_417 wrote: »

Honestly, it's mostly out of jealousy. You have attained what our culture has generally agreed upon as an ideal shape, which many people have themselves convinced they can't reach. So, in order to make themselves feel better about their choices, they attack you.

Guess it's up to me not to feed their assumptions.
Because to be honest part of me wants to be an arrogant douche simply in response to how my humility has been treated.

I mostly stay in my bubble now, if people want advice at the gym nothing makes me happier.

williammuney

I get the "you're too skinny" all the time

Sued0nim

nakedraygun wrote: »

Yep, occasionally I'll hear a negative, snearing comment (from men) about the shape and size of my chest. Rank jealously.

Yeah I get this too

goldthistime

I will say that for most of my life when I would see someone with your physique OP I would automatically conclude that he was self absorbed and probably a womanizer. My view softened as body building became more mainstream and I encountered real life examples of men who were good dads and husbands and still found time to maintain their physique.

goldthistime

Sued0nim wrote: »

nakedraygun wrote: »

Yep, occasionally I'll hear a negative, snearing comment (from men) about the shape and size of my chest. Rank jealously.

Yeah I get this too

Bwah ha ha.

Alluminati

No, I never have had to deal with that stuff. My fitness is not a topic of any conversation except for a passing "hey, did you lose weight?" Or "do you lift? Your legs are looking awesome!". Maybe they say or imply stuff and I'm oblivious? Maybe because I live and work in a city where parking is at a premium so walking and biking are easier forms of transportation being active is not unusual? We also have a gym every 10 blocks or so, so having a membership to any given one is common. I know if I see someone who is fit I notice they look nice then they leave my head because there are other things to worry/think about. But I see these types of threads often enough on MFP to know that fit shaming exists, at least for those that feel shamed by such things. And I don't get it. Why bother? Live your life and be happy with your health.

Chef_Barbell

I have gotten more shaming and crap being fit than I ever while being fat. It's sad. These are the same people that claim to be "happy" at any size.

giantrobot_powerlifting

Sued0nim wrote: »

nakedraygun wrote: »

Yep, occasionally I'll hear a negative, snearing comment (from men) about the shape and size of my chest. Rank jealously.

Yeah I get this too

Oh your nipples are placed too low on your chest like mine?

TheRootofGroot

goldthistime wrote: »

I will say that for most of my life when I would see someone with your physique OP I would automatically conclude that he was self absorbed and probably a womanizer. My view softened as body building became more mainstream and I encountered real life examples of men who were good dads and husbands and still found time to maintain their physique.

Funny how that works out.
Guess I could be if I wanted to, but honestly I've been single for the better part of seven years without more than a handful of casual encounters and I think I'll just classify myself as asexual at this point, it isn't worth my while.

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

I have gotten more shaming and crap being fit than I ever while being fat. It's sad. These are the same people that claim to be "happy" at any size.

The HAES people are always the first ones to point out how unhealthy a slim girl looks or how unnatural someone with muscles is.

Villae81 wrote: »

Winners always gets hated look at Tom Brady

Guess the steps we take to improve ourselves are reminders of their own failure to take control of their lives.
I've seen this a lot in shows where someone is morbidly obese as well as the rest of the family, and that one member tries to change things and the prevailing attitude from the other members is "oh so now you're better than us? too good to eat our food?"

wi_maint_man

I think its jealousy.

Montepulciano

My feeling is that those comments made are much more about the person saying them then about you. Obviously they have not taken the time to get to know you and what motivates you. Their issues, let them carry them.

Well done on the fitness!

Packerjohn

You can't fix stupid. Ignore them.

jemhh

I've not run into this but it sounds annoying.

Sued0nim

goldthistime wrote: »

Sued0nim wrote: »

nakedraygun wrote: »

Yep, occasionally I'll hear a negative, snearing comment (from men) about the shape and size of my chest. Rank jealously.

Yeah I get this too

Bwah ha ha.

:bigsmile:

nakedraygun wrote: »

Sued0nim wrote: »

nakedraygun wrote: »

Yep, occasionally I'll hear a negative, snearing comment (from men) about the shape and size of my chest. Rank jealously.

Yeah I get this too

Oh your nipples are placed too low on your chest like mine?

Pics or it didn't happen

mzfrizz15

It sounds like a Crab Bucket type of thing going on. One person does something to improve themself and the other people start trying to sabotage or mock the one who dared to do something different from the pack.

ninerbuff

IMO, why bother with their comments? Letting it affect you shows that it's an issue for you. If people comment negatively, I just smile and move on.
And for me, I don't get hardly any negative because I'm always looking for what's great in every person and let them know it. It's kinda hard for people to hate on you, if you're actually nice to them.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

deluxmary2000

I can't wait until I'm fit enough to actually be fit-shamed...

Ben_there_done_that

What does bump mean? I've seen it a few times.

Chef_Barbell

captbklee wrote: »

What does bump mean? I've seen it a few times.

Bumps the post to the top of the list.

Chef_Barbell

womanofgod4893 wrote: »

captbklee wrote: »

What does bump mean? I've seen it a few times.

I don't know what it means for other people. But, I use it as a bookmark for when I want to come back and read it.

There's a bookmark function in the upper right hand side. Just click the little star.

davidmartinez66

Funny, someone just asked me the other night if I was sick. I am just over 5-9 and weigh 174 pounds, still over the BMI magic number for my height (25.3 = overweight), but I have broad shoulders so I guess I look thinner. I hear "skinny" (the negative way) "wow you lost a lot of weight", not that many complementary words. I like going to the gym, and watching what I eat and I do not miss the junk I was eating before.

Stay strong and just remember your opinion is the most important when it comes to your health.

David

PandoraGreen721

I'm not surprised by the negativity..I've just come to ignore it. If someone is that concerned with me and my lifestyle choices to be negative..then that's on them.

evilokc

I went to visit my sister and a friend of hers that was there was staring at me. I finally asked if i had something on my shirt and she said " your chest is weird. Why is is square? Why does it stick out? I explained to her that was the shape of my body and she said it was weird. I looked at her husbands saggy man boobs and thought if thats what shes used to i guess my body would look odd. It was the first time i felt like an outsider for being more fir than those around me. Since i staeted fitpal i have been getting " you look skinny"

piperdown44

Recently I've had a few friends joking ask about being on a bike ride. I just laugh it off. Other than that I don't get too many negatives that I can think of.
I will say I've met more competing BB and PL with PhD's in areas like physics, biochemistry and engineering. So the whole dumb thing I've never gotten.

RoxieDawn

Oh I get looked at all the time with heads shaking and what not.. So I am old and fit..I say get over it and keep looking and talking.. This means I made it to the top of the conversation people are having!

WIth age comes the "I do not care what you think about me" attitude.. People that care about this, have some self esteem issues or already bothered by what other people say or are possibly saying about them..