Fit Shaming

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  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,389 Member
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    Fit shaming is real, usually coming from the less fit.

    I was very disturbed recently when I found out my daughter actually had an interest in some school sports, and decided not to pursue them due to the larger kids fit shaming the more fit/healthy weight kids. It's a shame that people these days are so quick to judge anyone different from themselves.
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,411 Member
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    I'm curious if any of the posters above are from outside of the USA? Just wondering if this is a global societal issue, or more or less unique to the U.S.?
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I have never experienced fit shaming. If anything, I'm a little embarrassed by how much positive attention I get when I'm slim and fit. I'm 55, so maybe it's a generational thing.

    I made a comment earlier about relating to the stereotyping that well muscled low BF men might have experienced but I neglected to mention that it didn't really extend to women. IMO, it was more acceptable for women to devote time to their physical appearance than for men to do so. Fitness for males, without attention to aesthetics, (which translates to a higher bf% than is de rigour now), had no negativity.

    I'm pretty sure my views aren't representative of my kids views. I'd be horrified to learn that as Robertw486 intimates that it's uncool for young kids to be fit now.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    Sued0nim wrote: »
    rainbowbow wrote: »
    i have been "fit shamed" before. When i had a visible 6 pack i was told i looked "like a man". I've had people repeatedly tell me that because i'm small chested (and especially when i'm low bf) that i look "like a teenage boy". (P.S. this is such nonsense because i am clearly a woman, i have very feminine facial features, i have a big butt because i'm a pear. these people just like to point out that i'm small chested)

    I've also been told no man wants to date a woman who isn't feminine. That if i did get a boobjob then i would be "fake". I've been told my hair is too long. i've been told my undereye area looks like a racoon, like someone is beating me, like i've taken drugs, or i don't sleep.

    I could go on, my point is i guess that people will always comment some nonsense on your appearance, make judgements about you, and express their opinion. The thing is, their opinion only matters if you make it matter.

    There are still times i feel hurt or self conscious about these things. but i've accepted myself for who i am and any judgements people want to pass on me are their problem, not mine. I'd also like to mention that most of these people make these comments because they are insecure about themselves (like they are overweight).


    Well, you don't need to hear it from me but I've seen your pictures and read many of your posts, which I've found interesting and warm-hearted, and I think you're quite beautiful

    well, d'aww :kissing_heart: I wasn't expecting someone to say that.

    :heart:
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    It's only shaming if you feel shamed by it, right?
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    dissentingdude wrote: »
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    I'm curious if any of the posters above are from outside of the USA? Just wondering if this is a global societal issue, or more or less unique to the U.S.?

    I'm actually Canadian, eh.
    sunnybeaches105 wrote: »
    dissentingdude wrote: »
    Anyone surprised by some of the negativity that comes with pursuing a fit lifestyle, and some of the attitude you've gotten since you've achieved your goals?

    The Planet Fitness thread got me thinking about some of the stigma attached to being fit.
    How I'm subject to underhanded jokes about using steroids (which I don't).
    Or how people will often treat me like I'm dumb.
    Others assuming I've always been fit and therefore think my advice wouldn't be helpful to them.
    Judging me for dedicating time to something that seems fruitless in modern society.

    Worse still is people trying to explain to me why and how I'm wasting my time.

    I'm pretty much a hermit anyways, keep to myself and all, but it just gets to me that something that has been so positive for me can generate more negativity than I can quickly recall.

    Anyone else face similar challenges/annoyances?

    I think a lot of it may be in your own head, the same way that fat shaming is in many people's heads. I'm not saying there isn't a thread of reality there, but not enough to worry over or take too personally. There are all sorts of minor insults out there for various reasons and we are living in the era of "micro aggressions" where every little thing is interpretted in a negative light to allow people to claim victim. Let it go, laugh it off, and if it's directed at you then make a joke and let the person realize they're being a jerk. Allow yourself to just be you.

    You and others who have said something in the same vain are right to some extent.
    Obviously there is a part of me that lets me be affected by the opinion of others.
    All part of overcoming my insecurities, residual from childhood.
    I do carry myself with pride though and try to maintain positive.

    Just weird how I could be made to feel at fault for my efforts, and how fitness isn't celebrated universally as a good thing, especially in an age where the western world is suffering from an endemic of health issues it should be able to avoid.


    Apologies to those I haven't personally responded to or interacted to, it's just a task doing so on a mobile device to begin with, especially mine that has the habit of blinking off mid task without warning!
    But thank you to all the encouraging, positive words.

    I just wanted to make this thread not to dwell on the negative forces, but just to remind everyone to stick to their meal tracking and exercise even when outside forces try to bring you down and encourage that lazy imp within us all to win over again.

    Nothing is accepted universally. Good luck with your work towards self acceptance. It can be an incredibly difficult internal battle.
  • Welcome2theHellmouth
    Welcome2theHellmouth Posts: 206 Member
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    ever since starting a reset and now started lifting consistently I have not lost any weight in 9 months. So everyone assumes I've fallen off the wagon. While everyone around me is losing lots on their shakeolgy, weight watches, LCHF etc.... Trying to give me advice (even though I've lost close to 100lbs but since it's been 3yrs the have forgotten) im constantly being told there is no way I can keep eating over 2000 and lose fat.
  • TheRootofGroot
    TheRootofGroot Posts: 118 Member
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    sunnybeaches105 wrote: »
    dissentingdude wrote: »
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    I'm curious if any of the posters above are from outside of the USA? Just wondering if this is a global societal issue, or more or less unique to the U.S.?

    I'm actually Canadian, eh.
    sunnybeaches105 wrote: »
    dissentingdude wrote: »
    Anyone surprised by some of the negativity that comes with pursuing a fit lifestyle, and some of the attitude you've gotten since you've achieved your goals?

    The Planet Fitness thread got me thinking about some of the stigma attached to being fit.
    How I'm subject to underhanded jokes about using steroids (which I don't).
    Or how people will often treat me like I'm dumb.
    Others assuming I've always been fit and therefore think my advice wouldn't be helpful to them.
    Judging me for dedicating time to something that seems fruitless in modern society.

    Worse still is people trying to explain to me why and how I'm wasting my time.

    I'm pretty much a hermit anyways, keep to myself and all, but it just gets to me that something that has been so positive for me can generate more negativity than I can quickly recall.

    Anyone else face similar challenges/annoyances?

    I think a lot of it may be in your own head, the same way that fat shaming is in many people's heads. I'm not saying there isn't a thread of reality there, but not enough to worry over or take too personally. There are all sorts of minor insults out there for various reasons and we are living in the era of "micro aggressions" where every little thing is interpretted in a negative light to allow people to claim victim. Let it go, laugh it off, and if it's directed at you then make a joke and let the person realize they're being a jerk. Allow yourself to just be you.

    You and others who have said something in the same vain are right to some extent.
    Obviously there is a part of me that lets me be affected by the opinion of others.
    All part of overcoming my insecurities, residual from childhood.
    I do carry myself with pride though and try to maintain positive.

    Just weird how I could be made to feel at fault for my efforts, and how fitness isn't celebrated universally as a good thing, especially in an age where the western world is suffering from an endemic of health issues it should be able to avoid.


    Apologies to those I haven't personally responded to or interacted to, it's just a task doing so on a mobile device to begin with, especially mine that has the habit of blinking off mid task without warning!
    But thank you to all the encouraging, positive words.

    I just wanted to make this thread not to dwell on the negative forces, but just to remind everyone to stick to their meal tracking and exercise even when outside forces try to bring you down and encourage that lazy imp within us all to win over again.

    Nothing is accepted universally. Good luck with your work towards self acceptance. It can be an incredibly difficult internal battle.

    I'm doing good thanks.
    I got more work to do on the inside than the outside but it helps to like what one sees in the mirror.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    No. But I was surprised at how lonely it is. No one cares about my macros and PRs, I guess rightly so. I'm a musician so my friends basically do NOT lift, exercise, etc. They drink and play guitar. I definitely feel like a bit of an outsider now.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    No. But I was surprised at how lonely it is. No one cares about my macros and PRs, I guess rightly so. I'm a musician so my friends basically do NOT lift, exercise, etc. They drink and play guitar. I definitely feel like a bit of an outsider now.

    IKR
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    chaney3000 wrote: »
    Oh man. I could write a book on this. It's been a long road for me to get here. I used to try and lift everyone with me but their lack of desire kept me back.

    I came to the conclusion that I will no longer wait for you anymore. If I want it, I will have to go get it myself. So I go to the gym, run and do whatever without anyone else.

    Now that I'm doing that, I'm getting ALL kind of backlash. "I'm selfish." "You only think about yourself." "You've changed." "Can you take the weekends off?" "Do you have to go to the gym today?" "You going to run again?"

    So I have been branded as a bad guy for wanting to better myself. And now that I'm older, I'm fine with that. Come of it what it may, I don't care anymore! I guess I'm burning bridges along the way.

    I think it can be hard to find a balance. There was a time when I let dieting and lifting interfere with my personal relationships too much. Not because I spent too much time doing it, but because it was all I could THINK about. Someone might be telling me something important at a restaurant and I'm just staring at the food thinking "I want that, but I'll never get lean. Eat your lettuce". In the end, I had to realize that I wasn't being a supportive friend either. But yeah, difficult to find balance.

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