no appetite & can't gain weight

chloectaylor
chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
edited December 2024 in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
I moved to America 10 months ago, I'm 5ft 6 and was 110lbs then but my weight dropped to 95 and now it's at 100ish. Ever since moving here my tummy gets upset at dairy products and any meat other than chicken, I'm a picky eater anyway so this doesn't help. I've always been really skinny where my hips stick out but now my ribs are showing too and I'm scared for my health now. I'm supposed to have 2060 calories a day but I'm really struggling to get there, I don't have an appetite and whenever I eat I feel sick. I'm sick a lot and beginning to feel really weak everyday I need help!!

Replies

  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    Sounds like your stomach is perhaps not used to the processing methods used in a lot of American foods. Perhaps you can try buying organic milk/meat. Also, you will unfortunately need to force yourself to eat calorie dense foods until your appetite returns. Peanut butter, saute your veggies in lots of butter or oil, meal replacement shakes, etc. You don't want to get to the point that you are hospitalized. I know it's difficult to force yourself to eat, but you need to really try.
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  • manowarrule
    manowarrule Posts: 32 Member
    Yeah id see a doctor
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    @chloectaylor Are you here on your own or are you living with a sponsor family? I see you are only 18. Please ask someone you trust to recommend a doctor and get an appointment as soon as you can. The other posters are right, this isn't something you should try to figure out on your own. You are right to be concerned, because your BMI of 16 is very underweight. I know you don't feel well.

    There are some resources here on MFP that might help you - just click on Help to the right of your user name at the very top of your home page. But more importantly, see a doctor soon. If you can't get an appointment within the next few days, go to a hospital to an emergency room.
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member

    KinkJarfld wrote: »
    Doctor, doctor, mister MD--please consult one.
    manowarrule wrote: »
    Yeah id see a doctor

    thanks guys, I will try to see one I just don't have insurance yet so I'm not sure on going to the doctor until I do
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    @chloectaylor Are you here on your own or are you living with a sponsor family? I see you are only 18. Please ask someone you trust to recommend a doctor and get an appointment as soon as you can. The other posters are right, this isn't something you should try to figure out on your own. You are right to be concerned, because your BMI of 16 is very underweight. I know you don't feel well.

    There are some resources here on MFP that might help you - just click on Help to the right of your user name at the very top of your home page. But more importantly, see a doctor soon. If you can't get an appointment within the next few days, go to a hospital to an emergency room.

    technically I'm here by myself, I got married so the only people I have are my partner & in laws. I've always struggled with my weight, could never get past 110lbs no matter how much I would eat. I have a lot of anxiety about being here alone etc. I think that plays a huge part in the problem
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    mom23mangos wrote: »
    Sounds like your stomach is perhaps not used to the processing methods used in a lot of American foods. Perhaps you can try buying organic milk/meat. Also, you will unfortunately need to force yourself to eat calorie dense foods until your appetite returns. Peanut butter, saute your veggies in lots of butter or oil, meal replacement shakes, etc. You don't want to get to the point that you are hospitalized. I know it's difficult to force yourself to eat, but you need to really try.

    thank you! I will try that, I'm just really quite clueless about calories. some days I just don't have an appetite at all and other days I feel like I could eat everything we have. thank you for your help though!
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,432 MFP Moderator
    edited July 2016
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10326769/are-you-a-hard-gainer-please-read#latest

    Until you see a doctor try some of these foods. Including drinking calories like sweetened almond or soy milk or even a lactaid milk. You might have a lactose allergy.

    And dont restrict yourself on the types of food. Eat whatever you can to get calories.


    Nuts, butters, avocados and other fat sources are high in calories.
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    Even ice cream and candy. Get the calories any way you can.
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Okay...if you do not have insurance, and it's going to be awhile until you can get insurance, please look up free clinics or your county health department, as you may qualify for free or low cost health care. Eat anything that appeals to you. Can your in-laws help you get health care?
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    Okay...if you do not have insurance, and it's going to be awhile until you can get insurance, please look up free clinics or your county health department, as you may qualify for free or low cost health care. Eat anything that appeals to you. Can your in-laws help you get health care?

    they know of a place nearby which is a free healthcare place for mainly homeless people/people without insurance, it's only open on Thursdays and every time we try to ring for an appointment they're fully booked. sorry, seems like a dumb question but what would seeing a doctor do? I'm not for sure how they can help me. we're still going through the legal process of becoming a citizen so as soon as it's possible I'm sure that my in-laws will be able to get me some good insurance
  • avadahm
    avadahm Posts: 111 Member
    I never have an appetite either, so to gain weight and get an appetite I work out a lot. I add powder to my coffee and water for extra boosts throughout the day as well. Some days I don't eat much, but hey, it happens. I'm usually starving after workouts though (even walks and basic toning exercise), so try that.
  • Summerberry1012
    Summerberry1012 Posts: 109 Member
    edited July 2016
    Maybe try smoothies? The texture might be more palatable and it would help get some nutrients in you.

    Edit: you might be eating too inconsistently? (might explain the intense cravings one day but not the other) maybe try getting something down, like the smoothie or almond milk ideas, at the same times each day and hopefully that should get you going again as you recalibrate. Just a thought!
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    Summerberry1012 wrote: »
    Maybe try smoothies? The texture might be more palatable and it would help get some nutrients in you.

    Edit: you might be eating too inconsistently? (might explain the intense cravings one day but not the other) maybe try getting something down, like the smoothie or almond milk ideas, at the same times each day and hopefully that should get you going again as you recalibrate. Just a thought!

    that would make sense, every morning until around lunch I feel sick & I can't attempt to eat breakfast, if I don't eat breakfast I try to have some hot tea. I'll be sure to try the smoothie idea, thank you!
  • almostanangel21
    almostanangel21 Posts: 143 Member
    It could be the stress. I'm trying to lose, but I've noticed that particularly nasty days kill my appetite and send me running for the cardio machines to put me in a better mood. Do you have anything that you can do that relaxes you, especially before mealtimes?
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    almostanangel21 wrote: »
    It could be the stress. I'm trying to lose, but I've noticed that particularly nasty days kill my appetite and send me running for the cardio machines to put me in a better mood. Do you have anything that you can do that relaxes you, especially before mealtimes?

    I definitely think stress plays a big role, usually my partner works from early morning until lunch time and I think being separated gives me terrible anxiety, I could be feeling so sick and as soon as she comes home I feel ok and can eat lunch. like today she is working from lunch until late at night and I'm already feeling super nervous about that so the likelihood of eating while she is gone is slim. I don't really have anything that relaxes me, sometimes going for a walk helps but it's so freaking hot in Oklahoma I can't stand it outside!
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    edited July 2016
    chloectaylor wrote: »
    almostanangel21 wrote: »
    It could be the stress. I'm trying to lose, but I've noticed that particularly nasty days kill my appetite and send me running for the cardio machines to put me in a better mood. Do you have anything that you can do that relaxes you, especially before mealtimes?

    I definitely think stress plays a big role, usually my partner works from early morning until lunch time and I think being separated gives me terrible anxiety, I could be feeling so sick and as soon as she comes home I feel ok and can eat lunch. like today she is working from lunch until late at night and I'm already feeling super nervous about that so the likelihood of eating while she is gone is slim. I don't really have anything that relaxes me, sometimes going for a walk helps but it's so freaking hot in Oklahoma I can't stand it outside!

    OK, I put this suggestion on another poster who said they couldn't eat because of nausea. If it's stress/anxiety related, the best thing you can do is square breathing. It will help rebalance your 02/CO2 levels in your blood. You are more than likely hyperventilating and not realizing it.

    https://dopaminedialogue.wordpress.com/2010/07/06/square-breathing-treatment-for-anxiety-without-using-medication/
    http://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/2013/08/reduce-anxiety-quickly-with-square.html

    You can also practice doing other relaxation techniques like visualization, muscle relaxation, etc. It really does work. After a few minutes of square breathing you should feel better. Of course, once you stop you may start hyperventilating again, so just become aware of your body and what you are doing.
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    edited July 2016
    Where are you from? I wonder if it would make you feel better to Skype with your family and friends, who you must be missing. Is there a big time difference? If you could time your Skype conversations to coincide with your partner's work time, it might help fill some of the time with social interaction. Just a thought.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    @chloectaylor
    Some years back, Mrs. also lost appetite and became dangerously thin. Among the advice a professional Dietician gave her was to drink "Boost", or a similar calorie-dense vitamin fortified meal replacement. That was along with generous helpings of ice cream, butter, and gravy on her other foods.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    @chloectaylor, Okla-kitten-homa? OK, walk outside before 7:00 am. You can stand that, surely. Get familiar with local tornado shelters.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    chloectaylor wrote: »
    almostanangel21 wrote: »
    It could be the stress. I'm trying to lose, but I've noticed that particularly nasty days kill my appetite and send me running for the cardio machines to put me in a better mood. Do you have anything that you can do that relaxes you, especially before mealtimes?

    I definitely think stress plays a big role, usually my partner works from early morning until lunch time and I think being separated gives me terrible anxiety, I could be feeling so sick and as soon as she comes home I feel ok and can eat lunch. like today she is working from lunch until late at night and I'm already feeling super nervous about that so the likelihood of eating while she is gone is slim. I don't really have anything that relaxes me, sometimes going for a walk helps but it's so freaking hot in Oklahoma I can't stand it outside!

    You clearly care very much for your partner; another way to think of it is that you need to take care of yourself in order to be the best possible partner for her. All of the stress, plus you starting to feel weak, has to impact your relationship. Maybe it would help to think of food as the fuel you need to have the energy to put into your relationship. It doesn't need to be about whether or not you "feel like" eating; it's about making sure you intake enough calories to keep your body functioning.

    It may not be practical on some days if she's working late, but would it help to plan fun activities for the two of you to do after she gets back from work? That way, you'd need to eat during the day to make sure you have enough strength to be there with her.

    Also, I would look into free or low-cost counseling resources in your area, because it does sound like a stress-related issue and not a physiological one (although you should see a doctor when it's possible so you can rule out anything physiological). Are you in school? If so, the campus health center could be an excellent resource for you.
  • almostanangel21
    almostanangel21 Posts: 143 Member
    chloectaylor wrote: »
    almostanangel21 wrote: »
    It could be the stress. I'm trying to lose, but I've noticed that particularly nasty days kill my appetite and send me running for the cardio machines to put me in a better mood. Do you have anything that you can do that relaxes you, especially before mealtimes?

    I definitely think stress plays a big role, usually my partner works from early morning until lunch time and I think being separated gives me terrible anxiety, I could be feeling so sick and as soon as she comes home I feel ok and can eat lunch. like today she is working from lunch until late at night and I'm already feeling super nervous about that so the likelihood of eating while she is gone is slim. I don't really have anything that relaxes me, sometimes going for a walk helps but it's so freaking hot in Oklahoma I can't stand it outside!
    I feel you. Maybe that should be something else to try - find something that relaxes you. There's some good ballet/yoga stretch videos that are good tension relievers; so is weight lifting. Or, since you're new to the area, kill two birds with one stone and volunteer somewhere like the library or an animal shelter, or take a class in a craft or technical skill. Frankly, as a complete stranger, I find the amount of stress/anxiety/isolation you're describing to be more worrisome than your weight.

  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member


    OK, I put this suggestion on another poster who said they couldn't eat because of nausea. If it's stress/anxiety related, the best thing you can do is square breathing. It will help rebalance your 02/CO2 levels in your blood. You are more than likely hyperventilating and not realizing it.

    https://dopaminedialogue.wordpress.com/2010/07/06/square-breathing-treatment-for-anxiety-without-using-medication/
    http://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/2013/08/reduce-anxiety-quickly-with-square.html

    You can also practice doing other relaxation techniques like visualization, muscle relaxation, etc. It really does work. After a few minutes of square breathing you should feel better. Of course, once you stop you may start hyperventilating again, so just become aware of your body and what you are doing.[/quote]

    thank you, I'll be sure to try it out!
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    Where are you from? I wonder if it would make you feel better to Skype with your family and friends, who you must be missing. Is there a big time difference? If you could time your Skype conversations to coincide with your partner's work time, it might help fill some of the time with social interaction. Just a thought.

    I'm from England, there's a 6 hour time difference so usually when my partner is at work my family are at work or school so it's harder to talk to them when I need it most
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    @chloectaylor
    Some years back, Mrs. also lost appetite and became dangerously thin. Among the advice a professional Dietician gave her was to drink "Boost", or a similar calorie-dense vitamin fortified meal replacement. That was along with generous helpings of ice cream, butter, and gravy on her other foods.

    ok thank you!! I'll look into trying that drink
  • chloectaylor
    chloectaylor Posts: 14 Member
    AliceDark wrote: »
    chloectaylor wrote: »
    almostanangel21 wrote: »
    It could be the stress. I'm trying to lose, but I've noticed that particularly nasty days kill my appetite and send me running for the cardio machines to put me in a better mood. Do you have anything that you can do that relaxes you, especially before mealtimes?

    I definitely think stress plays a big role, usually my partner works from early morning until lunch time and I think being separated gives me terrible anxiety, I could be feeling so sick and as soon as she comes home I feel ok and can eat lunch. like today she is working from lunch until late at night and I'm already feeling super nervous about that so the likelihood of eating while she is gone is slim. I don't really have anything that relaxes me, sometimes going for a walk helps but it's so freaking hot in Oklahoma I can't stand it outside!

    You clearly care very much for your partner; another way to think of it is that you need to take care of yourself in order to be the best possible partner for her. All of the stress, plus you starting to feel weak, has to impact your relationship. Maybe it would help to think of food as the fuel you need to have the energy to put into your relationship. It doesn't need to be about whether or not you "feel like" eating; it's about making sure you intake enough calories to keep your body functioning.

    It may not be practical on some days if she's working late, but would it help to plan fun activities for the two of you to do after she gets back from work? That way, you'd need to eat during the day to make sure you have enough strength to be there with her.

    Also, I would look into free or low-cost counseling resources in your area, because it does sound like a stress-related issue and not a physiological one (although you should see a doctor when it's possible so you can rule out anything physiological). Are you in school? If so, the campus health center could be an excellent resource for you.

    thank you!! I'll definitely try that. my mother in law called a counseling place around a month ago and they said they would see me after she explained the situation about just moving here & lack of insurance but whoever she spoke to never mentioned how much it would cost, my wife and I are in a tough financial situation so I wouldn't like to add to the burden and have bills for counseling, but I'll look into it!
    I'm not in school yet, I was about to start university back home but instead I moved here so we're going to look into getting online classes or something next year because I don't have my license yet :(
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