Not the cook -- ideas?

deannasawyer

I feel really silly to be asking this question, but it has plagued me for a while. Oftentimes, I am not the one to cook dinner, or food is provided to me as takeout. I don't know what it is or what is in it, so I cannot accurately log. If this was a once-in-a-blue-moon thing, I could just not log that day. But I find myself in the somewhat frustrating situation of making ballpark guesses at what was in the food I ate and how much of each ingredient was there.

How do you guys handle when you're not always the cook? Just exercise more that day and hope for the best?

I've been trying that for 10 weeks now, and I've only lost half a pound. Some days, I know I need to be over my calorie output because I'm with another person and cannot do my own thing, but still eat my food so as not to be rude. I try to make up for it the next day by eating less. Any ideas?

phrunch

Is it possible that you have a conversation with whoever is providing you food and let them know that you'd like to cut back on calories?

After that conversation, it may not feel so rude to have leftovers and keep better control over your portions.

deannasawyer

I try, but he tells me that I am skinny enough already and that if I worry about it I'll give myself an eating disorder. I don't want to push the issue, because he weighs 250lbs more than me and I don't want him to feel bad about himself.

I'd honestly just prefer to be on the lower end of my healthy bodyweight range, so that I can enjoy eating out occasionally without thinking too much about how much I am eating. I was very happy at 110, but 118 makes me nervous.

Adc7225

Well after 10 weeks maybe try a new approach, try eating just a little less than what you planned on eating. Try stopping with 3 or 4 bites or forkfuls of your meal left to go. Hopefully your meal companion won't have an issue with that and if they do, maybe try saving a little more and taking it to-go, but not necessarily to eat!!!

Also, in time people close to use while hesitant in the beginning do adjust to our eating without a fuss.

deannasawyer

Thank you for the advice. I'll give that a try!

LokiGrrl

Honestly this is why I learned to cook in later life. I knew the basics and how to follow a recipe, but I got to where I was tired of other people deciding what I was going to eat. Then I learned to say, "Thanks so much for thinking of me, that looks delicious, but I'm just not in the mood for something so heavy," or whatever matched the situation. Despite what people may tell you, this is not a judgment on the other person, it's just a gracious decline.

My roommate and I have really different eating patterns, and right now she buys most of the groceries, because I'm in a low spot with finances. We made an agreement, though, when we moved in together, that what we eat and drink is our business and we're not going to be telling each other what to do. When either of us cooks for both we try to bear in mind the things the other likes, although we don't always succeed (for example, she likes ALL OF THE GARLIC and I only like a little, and she likes her steak way more rare than I do and without the crispy sear and bit of char that I feel is essential).

You might try framing it in a different way to the other person, not focusing on weight but on nutrition and health. Sometimes that can help.

VeryMinci

Don't ever feel guilty or rude about wanting to be in control and be in charge of your own life and what you choose to eat. If you're in a relationship with someone who is the main cook why not speak up and let them know how you feel about what you both are eating ... there are delish healthy options you can both try .... someone has to be the one to speak up first ... why not it be you?

RodaRose

It might be time for the two of you to have a talk.

CattOfTheGarage

If you can only estimate, then estimate. Taking a day off logging because you can't be absolutely accurate doesn't make any sense to me. If you estimate, there's a chance you might get it right. If you don't log it at all, you are guaranteed to be wrong - it definitely didn't have zero calories!

Estimate away, and over a few weeks, note whether your rate of weight loss matches mfp's estimate of or not. If you're losing faster or slower than expected, adjust your estimates up or down.

cross2bear

Funny that you dont want him to feel bad about himself, but its ok for you to feel bad about yourself - have a conversation with the man for petes sake!! His opinion of your size and weight means bumpkiss if you dont agree!! Speak up!!

Chef_Barbell

I am not understanding... why can't you cook for yourself? :huh:

Trish1c

Even if you can't cook for yourself, why can't you be the one who picks up the take out so you have more control?

endlessfall16

You don't have to cook if you don't want to. Don't forgo this modern convenience and luxury that is restaurant and take outs.

Most people can more or less see what the next few days of eating look like to them. I can. So I take a couple minutes out to "plan". For example this week I know there will be a retirement party at work on Thursday and a birthday party at a friends on Saturday. So most of the rest of the week I would just eat lighter. Too simple? LOL.

What's worth mentioning and my "secret" of being able to eat "light" (without feeling miserable) is... I don't cook and I go for sandwiches, boiled eggs, nuts, salads, left over. The easier, simpler the better. Cooking and revolving around foods all the time is likely detrimental to people with disordered eating behavior.

Lounmoun

deannalaverty wrote: »

I feel really silly to be asking this question, but it has plagued me for a while. Oftentimes, I am not the one to cook dinner, or food is provided to me as takeout. I don't know what it is or what is in it, so I cannot accurately log. If this was a once-in-a-blue-moon thing, I could just not log that day. But I find myself in the somewhat frustrating situation of making ballpark guesses at what was in the food I ate and how much of each ingredient was there.

How do you guys handle when you're not always the cook? Just exercise more that day and hope for the best?

I've been trying that for 10 weeks now, and I've only lost half a pound. Some days, I know I need to be over my calorie output because I'm with another person and cannot do my own thing, but still eat my food so as not to be rude. I try to make up for it the next day by eating less. Any ideas?

If you live with the person discuss taking turns cooking and what kinds of foods you each like. Say you only want take out once a week maybe. Compromise.
Ask what it is and what is in it. You don't have to mention weight loss if you don't want to. Say something like " This is really tasty, what all is in it? "or "Did you follow a recipe? Can I copy it?" Find a similar dish at a restairant web site or recipe site so you can put something in your log.
Put more vegetables on your plate or have a salad and eat a smaller portion of the main thing.
Say no thanks. You don't have to eat something just because it is offered to you.