feeling guilty about working out because i have small children

Willbenchforcupcakes

A healthy happy you gets to spend more quality time with your kids. I get it. Single mom with 50% custody. I've worked my schedule so most of my training happens while they are with their dad, or coming in September, school.

RoxieDawn

Yep I did not get healthy until the last one was off to college. I really regret waiting and used this as a big whammy excuse.

But this does not have to be you. You can put everyone and everything ahead of your needs if you choose to, but with proper planning you can work in some time to exercise or just "you" time. You will do what you deem important enough to make small changes to find a happy medium that works for everyone. Find 15 increments or find one 30-45 minutes slot a couple of time a week, you can do that for yourself.

tiptoethruthetulips

I am sure your spouse enjoys the opportunity to spend quality time with the children, no need to feel guilty at all.

ninerbuff

jenlyons21 wrote: »

Hello! I was just wondering if anyone else feels the guilt of working out while they are married with small children? I am married and have a 1 year old and a 4 year old and I also work a full time job, so when i go to work out I feel so much guilt, it sometimes will stop me from going to the gym or for a run because I feel like I should be at home with my family.

I took my daughter to the gym child care at 3 months old. She still goes today for 2 hour shots (2x a day right now because it's summer) at 12 years old.
You're only speaking of an hour on average. That's nothing to a kid who's having fun with other kids in a child care. In fact many don't want to leave because they don't play the same at home.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

BeverlyMarsh1986

Maybe every now and then you could exercise with your children? Go to the pool together or on a hike. I don't have children, but I used to be a nanny. The 3-year-old and I would go on bike rides together and we went "jogging", which meant we raced each other from mailbox to mailbox in the neighborhood and then walked to the next one before racing again. She learned numbers by reading the mailboxes along the way. You could do that while pushing a stroller. It might not be the best exercise every time, but it can be fun!

allaboutthecake

That's tough, your situation. Some kids are in daycare from 6am-6pm., see their parents 1 or 2 hrs a day if lucky. The 1y/o baby probably just really wants his mommy or daddy. Some kids are in daycare 6-7 hrs. so an hour isn't as hard. I would trade off with the husband. (Even exercise after kids go to bed at a reasonable time.) At least then one of the parents are there with the kids. Or get double jogging strollers & jog with them around the neighborhood. Or bring a quick dinner to the park, let the 4y/o play on the kid toy with mommy right there, put the baby on a blanket, and crank up the volume off your boom box and do "aerobics" right there on the grass. Shoot, you could do that outside your house! But, its more fun at the park :-)

LannyMixon

I feel ya, we have small kids and live about 35 min from the nearest gym. We invested in a pretty decent recumbent bike. It's not perfect exercise and we only got middle of the road one about $500 but we can both get in a good workout while not losing focus on the kids.

caradack1985

The way I see it, fat me doesn't have the energy to play with my son, she can't run around the garden, is too ashamed to put on a swimsuit and splash in the sea. She can't go for bike rides. Working out means I can do those things with him, we can enjoy time together other than being sat in front of the TV. Also he's learning to work out too, between yoga and some basic strength training, so it's another activity we can do together.

cwolfman13

Why would I feel guilty for taking care of myself so that I can be around and healthy to take care of them? I'm not really of much use to them if I'm unhealthy or dead.

Sued0nim

I waited till my youngest was 10 to get healthy, slim and fit

Those early years I did not give them my best, I gave them my time (was a stay at home parent for 7 years) but didn't give them my energy, health or get up and go

I now work full time, have an increasingly complex career, am much much fitter and a better, less anxious, healthier and more fun parent with far more physical drive and ability ...I feel I'm a better role model than I was

But every year I've done my best in my perception at the time, it's only retrospect that makes me realise I could have been better if I'd spent a little more time on me (than on them)

amyn73

All these judgmental people talking about being good examples ... I get it but I get the OP's view. We only have so many hours in our day. Each hour with our kids, especially with work and school, is a priority. Eventually we run out of time. Do we short change them or exercise?? And before anyone starts in on "get up early", forget it! I don't know about anyone else but I'm tired after working all day and doing all my other "jobs". I don't need one hour less sleep to add to my fatigue.

sunnybeaches105

amyn73 wrote: »

All these judgmental people talking about being good examples ... I get it but I get the OP's view. We only have so many hours in our day. Each hour with our kids, especially with work and school, is a priority. Eventually we run out of time. Do we short change them or exercise?? And before anyone starts in on "get up early", forget it! I don't know about anyone else but I'm tired after working all day and doing all my other "jobs". I don't need one hour less sleep to add to my fatigue.

Am I reading the same thread or are you just projecting? No one in this thread has been judgmental to the OP. If you don't want to work out, then don't.

mkakids

Go early before they wake up or late after bed. I have 4 kids...8,7,5 and 2. I either go early (home at 630) or after bedtime (830), if i feel like I need to spend more time with them.

MelissaPhippsFeagins

I have 4 kids, now 22, 19, 16, & 10. They have all been in daycare/preschool because I work outside the home and they have all done their share of time in child care at the gym. Because I want them to enjoy it, I've always chosen a gym with kids activities. They learned to play basketball and socialize and I got some time to destress so that I didn't take my job out on them. The big kids have turned out fine. The ten year old is able to leave me and go camp because he knows he can make it without me. They learned to make some decisions on their own and I got to work out and stay sane.

Bottom line: Do what you can live with, but never feel guilty about taking care of yourself.

kellibee2000

Hiya, I understand how you feel & I struggle with it too. I haven't mastered consistent workouts, but I have encorporated the kids, 2 & 5 in low Cardio by walking with them or even dancing around the living room. I also use the on-site childcare for a class or hour workout session probably once a week. They like it & ask to go to the gym, which in turn motivates me. Do I feel bad that they just spent the day in school? Yes, bc I'm not with them, but it helps that they enjoy it & feel involved in what I'm doing & have free license to be active in play with new people, just like me @ the gym. Sorry so long, but I've been thinking about this & I'm glad you brought this topic to the table!

Losewtforlife4him

Ok I totally can relate and my kids are now 16 and 18. My kids recently told me however that they have fun memories of me running on the treadmill or working out to Denise Austin or Leslie Sansone videos when they were just small tots! I'm so glad they have these fun memories and now are healthy themselves and wanting to work out --sometimes while I am here in our basement. You don't need to join a gym (unless you want to) but I have always preferred just working out at home-less expensive and I don't need to leave my family either when I'm already away from them while at work. As others have said, we as moms are better wives and moms when we take care of ourselves too. Just pop in a video and allow your kids to play with their toys or join you. I also know however that for myself, when my heart rate was up, I could easily get agitated and could sometimes lose it when my kiddos would be fussy or demanding...so that can be an issue. Just don't feel guilty. Guilt is from the devil. God made us to be healthy and strong. Read about the Proverbs 31 woman! She makes her arms strong for the tasks that she's set out to do! So God wants us to be healthy..all in moderation and not extreme though as it can get tempting to do sometimes. I am guilty of this...sometimes going way over my hour of exercise for me time. Nothing wrong with this but it does need to be balanced so our families also aren't getting jipped from time spent with us. As our kids get older, they won't be here as much. Life does go so fast and we want every moment to count before our kids leave us. At least I do. I know how fast it goes as my kids are getting older. I fight the guilt even at their ages now lol! I could be making better more interesting meals, doing more...but this time is important for us as moms too. Don't feel guilty but try to spend time with those littles because they will grow up before your eyes. Maybe go out and run pushing them in their stroller or walk. I did that a LOT as well as took them for bike rides. My kids thankfully have turned out really well and feel lots of love even when I've spent time working out. Yours will too...just give them lots of snuggles and love and most of all show them who Jesus is. That's the best any of us can do for our kids. Promise.

enterdanger

I feel no guilt. I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old and my 3rd is due the very beginning of January. It is good for them to see that Mommy makes time to take care of herself. I do try to go to they gym around their bed time (8pm). This does 2 things.

1. I get out of having to put them to bed which I seriously hate...they have so many excuses why they can't go to sleep.
2. I don't lose any valuable time to spend with them while awake. I work full-time and I've got limited time with them each day. I want to make it count.

ew_david

I used to, especially when they were little and even a little bit now (almost16, 12, & 9). We moved out of state last year and had to give up our home gym; I hated being away at work all day just to leave again to go to the gym. But that only lasted a year. We moved back home and I brought the gym back to my garage. Now I miss nothing. They even come in there to hang out/re-rack weights with me.

WinoGelato

amyn73 wrote: »

All these judgmental people talking about being good examples ... I get it but I get the OP's view. We only have so many hours in our day. Each hour with our kids, especially with work and school, is a priority. Eventually we run out of time. Do we short change them or exercise?? And before anyone starts in on "get up early", forget it! I don't know about anyone else but I'm tired after working all day and doing all my other "jobs". I don't need one hour less sleep to add to my fatigue.

Who is judging? Most of what I see is empathy for a tough situation that many of us have experienced first hand, but have managed to work exercise in as a priority. Seems like you are projecting your own feelings onto others in this thread.

You are right everyone has the same amount of time in our busy days. No one wants to short change their children, or themselves. But finding ways to fit exercise in, whether by getting up earlier (sounds like you aren't interested in that, fine) or rearranging other priorities is possible, and what people here are saying is that the impact on children for fitting in 30-60 minutes of exercise, is not negatively impacting them.