So what is it that some succeed and others fail?

goal100determined

I have been reading success stories and it's inspiring. Some tried for decades and never succeeded, and suddenly they do. So what is it? I remember Oprah saying, 'it's making that decision', others say, 'motivation', other say, 'having a buddy', others say, 'when your life is at risk'. I believe it's different with everybody, but maybe it's 'how desperate you are.' What makes people not give up? Hope to hear from you.

beckacrafting

For me it just clicked one day. I woke up and thought it's today or never and haven't looked back. That was over four months and 60 lbs ago. I've tried countless times before and failed. I'm not sure what makes this journey different. Maybe it was being told I was prediabetic. Maybe it was the fact I couldn't make it up a flight of stairs without heavy breathing. Maybe it was not being able to do anything with the kids because I was constantly tired. Maybe all that together just compounded into a more powerful pull than pizza had over me. Whatever the reason, I'm thankful for it. I can now run a mile, stairs no longer scare me, I'm a new person who may still have a long journey ahead but the goal is a lot closer now and everyday I succeed is just that much more motivation to continue to reach for that goal. There may be bumps, stalls, or temptations but they are not as strong as we are, we just have to find out just how strong we truly are and hold on to that strength as of our life depended on it because it indeed does.

ninerbuff

IMO it's just one thing.......................the will to commit at that time.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Tara4boys

Change happens when the pain of staying the same exceeds that of making a change.

hypodonthaveme

If you want it bad enough, nothing will stop you from getting it. You will do what it takes.

fireytiger

For me, I just stopped accepting my own (BS) excuses for why I couldn't succeed, and made it a priority to do whatever it takes. I'm tired of living a life that makes me unhappy, tired of feeling like crap when I eat crappy foods, or being unable to go for a walk without feeling tired and winded.

ItsyBitsy246

It's a mental shift. Don't know the psychology behind it, but in my case triggered by sheer and utter disgust with myself.

cwolfman13

When you decide that nutrition and fitness are important to you and you make these things as much a part of your life as anything else then you will succeed.

zyxst

I decided I wanted more of a wardrobe than 1 pair of khaki jeans to wear for the next 40 years. I found the tools and did it. Having no one badgering me about losing weight helped immensely. I have a goat-like stubbornness when told repeatedly to do something I don't really want to do. When people left me be, I found my will to do it. Also, hearing from others on MFP that I didn't ruin everything by eating 2 dozen shortbread cookies.

Britney was a big motivator when my eating went "not good":

Adc7225

Personally for me I always thought it would happen in its own time and just sort of waited. For several reasons I was okay with being overweight - it provided me with a sort of buffer from the world. At the point when I realized I really didn't want to become like my mother, with the supersized pill caddy, I walked into the gym and went from there. I think changing ones lifestyle to focus on health requires a lot of dedication and education and that is different for everyone.

TheHungryHorsie

Successful people fail.
The difference is they never quit.
You can take away all the wealth of a successful person and place then in a foreign country but in time they will build that wealth up again.
Success is something that starts within.
It can't be taken away.
It isn't shaken or moved by its surroundings.
Don't be like the millions of people that say
"Yeah I always wanted to be _______ I tried it but it didn't work because it's just not for me..."
Successful people fail
But they Don't stay there.
they get keep getting themselves up and keep moving forward despite the taunts and negativity around them.
You may not have the skills, knowledge or great genetics as other people.
But with consistant hard work and determination you can be on a level playing field and
Nothing can stop you reaching your goal!

Never quit
Never surrender
Never say die

momofamadhouse

I think learning to be disciplined is similar to learning to replace bad habits with healthy ones. Some people aren't mentally prepared to "go the distance" the first time they decide to make a change. You have to teach yourself how to keep on track, and every failure is one step closer to success AS LONG AS YOU NEVER GIVE UP.

xmichaelyx

It's a life-long lifestyle change that people tend to see as a temporary thing. Anyone who's "going on a diet" will fail. Anyone who decides to make a drastic, non-sustainable change like cleanses or juice diets will fail.

It's shockingly easy to live a fit lifestyle, to reach your goal weight, and to maintain it forever. But people choose to put so many roadblocks in their way by looking for shortcuts -- anything to keep from doing the (very simple) work -- that they don't reach their goals.

1. Figure out how many calories you should be eating.
2. Eat that many calories of varied foods. Adjust as needed for your goals.
3. Get some exercise a few times per week.

It's that easy.

skmonak

For me it was when my health finally became more important to me then the instant gratification I received from consuming an entire bag of cookies in one sitting. If you want it badly enough, you will do it and be successful at it.

nowolga

TheHungryHorsie wrote: »

Successful people fail.
The difference is they never quit.
You can take away all the wealth of a successful person and place then in a foreign country but in time they will build that wealth up again.
Success is something that starts within.
It can't be taken away.
It isn't shaken or moved by its surroundings.
Don't be like the millions of people that say
"Yeah I always wanted to be _______ I tried it but it didn't work because it's just not for me..."
Successful people fail
But they Don't stay there.
they get keep getting themselves up and keep moving forward despite the taunts and negativity around them.
You may not have the skills, knowledge or great genetics as other people.
But with consistant hard work and determination you can be on a level playing field and
Nothing can stop you reaching your goal!

Never quit
Never surrender
Never say die

I love this response.

SueSueDio

momofamadhouse wrote: »

I think learning to be disciplined is similar to learning to replace bad habits with healthy ones. Some people aren't mentally prepared to "go the distance" the first time they decide to make a change. You have to teach yourself how to keep on track, and every failure is one step closer to success AS LONG AS YOU NEVER GIVE UP.

Yes, this - every failure teaches you something that didn't work, so you can look for something else that does work for you!

I think the mental challenge of losing weight and getting healthy is just as big, if not more so, than the physical one. And if you'd told me six months ago that I would ever turn into the sort of person who can look at a bar of chocolate and not eat any because she didn't want it right then, I would have thought you were mad. I guess that now, I'm just in the right place mentally to stick with it, stop making excuses, and get my weight down for good.

Dove0804

Oh gosh, I don't think there's a simple answer to this. There's so many factors contributing, some more than others based on the individual, and what works for one person might have the opposite effect for the other.
I will say, however, that I strongly believe that losing weight is 100% about breaking through mental barriers than it is physical feasibility.
I spend a lot of time thinking about another, related question- of those who are successful, why is it so few are able to actually maintain? What is the difference between those who gain weight back and those who stay at their goal weight for years and years?

TnZMom

If you mess up one day, do better the next.

Ask yourself, do you want to reach your goal, or not?

Basically, don't stop.

VitaSh

Motivation comes and goes whether you've been doing it forever or you're a newbie. So it's not motivation that keeps you going. Realizing there is no "endpoint" to a perfect body, or perfect health, or perfect whatever it is in your fitness journey is crucial. You realize you can achieve goals, there will be progress, but it's not like, Oh by October I'm done. It's something you do day in day out until eventually it's becomes something you can't imagine not doing. It's not about punishment anymore but therapy and reaching that next goal. Loving the journey, cliche, but oh so true.

nitesky83

hypodonthaveme wrote: »

If you want it bad enough, nothing will stop you from getting it. You will do what it takes.

Agree

Shana67

I lost 90 lbs back in the 90s, going from 235 to 145 (5'9"). I was very thin. However. I was also very unhealthy, working out 2-3x per day (YES - per day) and my mental state was not good, either. Fast forward through a divorce, and a subsequent very happy re-marriage, I gained most of it back.

I stepped on the scale in January (16) and saw 215 lbs (!!!!). Meaning I had gained back SEVENTY of the pounds that I lost. 70!! I was 48 at the time, and determined that I WAS NOT going to begin my 50s as an overweight person, and so started MFP (again). I had the exercise thing down for YEARS, it was eating that was killing me. 6 months later, I am down 35 pounds and have 20 to go until my goal. I know that 160 will be very sustainable for me - 145 was really difficult (clearly) to maintain.

Also, my husband is a bit younger than I am (10y), and I want to always look healthy/sexy for him, and keep my focus on living my years out with him - not dying before him!

RoseTheWarrior

Agree with @ninerbuff ... it really is just the acceptance, the commitment to making the change. You have to be committed to *anything* that's hard.

katyjay2014

I agree on it being totally mental. For me, I just ran out of excuses and was honest enough with myself to admit it. I knew I didn't want to be overweight my whole life so I figured I may as well start now. I had kept track of some tools that I had learned of over the years (MFP being one of them) so I dusted them off and got to work! 60 of 80lbs later and I've never looked back...!

dutchandkiwi

For me it was taking control of my life. I felt it was out of hands how my career was heading, chainges at work and other stuff. I just got mad at myself for being complacent and just 'accepting' that other were deciding my destiny. So I grabbed hold of the one thing I could control; me.
It was totally a mental thing and it has worked. My life is turning around the way I want it turned. I am in charge of me, nobody else is.

happygalah

For me I felt I wasn't living up to my full potential being a fat slob treating my body like a garbage dump.

dramaqueen45

Not sure but I believe it was a combination of the ease of using the site along with just changing small habits at first and then when I would get used to those then change one or two more things. I had tried MFP a couple of times before it finally clicked, and I would get frustrated with all of the items in the database and finding the right measurement for it and figuring our how to convert what I was eating to what it said, etc- and I found another app that allows me to simply enter the weight in grams and it will tell me exactly the calorie count, so I use that and just enter MFP calories as quick add. Works for me- simple, easy, accurate. Before when I was on here I didn't visit the forums much or have more than 1-2 friends- now I have many and visit often. I also found an exercise that I enjoy and can do often with my husband, plus in the winter months I have a gym I go to (which is fairly new in town). So a combination of things- oh and I'm an empty nester. I think it's difficult to lose weight when you have teenagers and their friends over a lot plus you have all of these school events, games, etc with no time to eat anywhere except the concession stand or grabbing something quick (not impossible to lose this way but more difficult and less convenient). All of this and forgiving myself for a day of slipping up and not letting it turn into a week or a month of slipping up- like Dory says- just keep swimming!

goldthistime

A small calorie deficit is the pixie dust I had been missing. I exercised and dieted too aggressively in the past. So I procrastinated getting started, abandoned my diet whenever any stressor entered my life, and when the stars aligned, I was successful. I considered slow weight loss to be an approach that weak willed, unathletic people took. Now I view it as the only intelligent choice.

minniemoo1972

nowolga wrote: »

TheHungryHorsie wrote: »

Successful people fail.
The difference is they never quit.
You can take away all the wealth of a successful person and place then in a foreign country but in time they will build that wealth up again.
Success is something that starts within.
It can't be taken away.
It isn't shaken or moved by its surroundings.
Don't be like the millions of people that say
"Yeah I always wanted to be _______ I tried it but it didn't work because it's just not for me..."
Successful people fail
But they Don't stay there.
they get keep getting themselves up and keep moving forward despite the taunts and negativity around them.
You may not have the skills, knowledge or great genetics as other people.
But with consistant hard work and determination you can be on a level playing field and
Nothing can stop you reaching your goal!

Never quit
Never surrender
Never say die

I love this response.

Best thing I've read on the internet in ages

WehttamThims

Tara4boys wrote: »

Change happens when the pain of staying the same exceeds that of making a change.

Pain vs Pleasure. Every decision we make is driven by one of these two things, the desire to avoid pain or the desire to gain pleasure

For more information watch this video starting at 30:53

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKCUOGFkOhQ

sunnybeaches105

Consistent work

Christine_72

Willpower and a strong desire and almost fear of being being fat along with all the problems (social, mental and physical) that come along with it.