So what is it that some succeed and others fail?
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I'll first say that I don't know the answer.
I'll give you some opinions though. I do tend to ramble on topics like this so take that for what it's worth.
I'll also add that I think many people oversimplify the answer to this question. I do not for a second think that the answer is exclusively in "wanting it badly enough" nor is it exclusively in "track your calories" nor is it exclusively in "making fitness a priority".
And to be 100% clear I don't mean any disrespect to any of the other posters in this thread. I just think it's likely a big oversimplification of a complex interaction of events.
I think people who are successful PROBABLY have some common traits or features in their approach to weight loss and weight maintenance. We could list those out but in short it would be things like getting adequate sleep, preparing foods, maintaining an active lifestyle, eating moderate to high amounts of protein, etc.
I think people who are successful PROBABLY have some common traits or features with mental aspects of things as well, but I wouldn't be able to go into detail like I could about methodology. I will say that things like self awareness, determination, "having a good reason" or even a life altering event/realization are likely important characteristics and probably commonalities as well.
I would even suspect that economic status and mental health status are variables that probably have some relationship to being successful at losing weight and maintaining it. (Let me be more clear: I'm not suggesting that people who have mental health issues can't lose weight, far from it. I'm merely suggesting that I would expect to see some relationship that exists between the two -- same for economic status in that wealth would likely make it a bit easier to maintain weight loss).
Finally, I think a very substantial limitation is that the majority of people who have lost weight and kept it off, have ALSO failed to lose weight and keep it off, probably multiple times in the past. And so on an individual level when you compare someone who has failed to someone who has succeeded, you're really comparing someone who hasn't YET succeeded to someone who has succeeded.
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I attempted to lose weight in the past doing arbitrary gym work without a specific weight-loss program. I failed miserably. it is ONLY when i started searching for answers, that i discovered that i had to have a definite strategy for weight loss incorporating BOTH exercise (weights and cardio) and diet. I started seeing results immediately. Myfitnesspal is playing a huge role in keeping me on track in my effort to lose weight and to tone up. Believe it or not, there are many people out there who, just like "the old me", know absolutely nothing about losing weight.2
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I know for me and the things I have accomplished in my life, the secret key has always been commitment. I can either be committed to something or interested in something. And the cool thing for me is that I know if I am committed to something by asking myself if I am willing to do whatever it takes in all ways on all days. If I am really honest with myself I know the answer. I am sure there are other mental preparations that go into it prior to this, but I can't really say what they are for sure. I do know that I am two months in and 27.3 down.0
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Lots of good answers here and lots of different answers. That's why I love MFP. If I've had any success it's mostly because I finally learned here that there is more than one way to lose weight. And there are other goals besides just losing weight that are important if you care about how you look and feel. Being open-minded and interested in learning new ways of doing things from other people and then being patient enough to figure out what works and work for my own life has been pretty important, too.3
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I think for me it helped that I had been there before. Being overweight was only a brief and temporary part of my life. Losing weight was just a matter of returning to how things were before.
That and ... I wasn't ready to be old yet. I wanted to be able to do the things I used to do when I was in my 30s and early 40s.
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I realized I had to do this for ME and no one else. Only when you are ready to put yourself first will it stick.2
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goal100determined wrote: »I have been reading success stories and it's inspiring. Some tried for decades and never succeeded, and suddenly they do. So what is it? I remember Oprah saying, 'it's making that decision', others say, 'motivation', other say, 'having a buddy', others say, 'when your life is at risk'. I believe it's different with everybody, but maybe it's 'how desperate you are.' What makes people not give up? Hope to hear from you.
It's an internal switch that goes off within you, can't really explain it. That is what people mean by making a decision. It applies to life as well, wanting something and deciding to go for it = maximum effort towards that goal. I applied the same concept to my career during my weight loss and I was promoted twice and doubled my income. No idea if that helps you but it's just an internal drive ...7 -
Trying to lose weight with MFP and succeeding ... Even if it's a small success
Realizing it's Possible and within your Control!1 -
The people who are successful got all their failures out of the way early.4
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I am a teacher and in teaching you learn that not everybody learns the same way. I think its similar in losing weight, we all have different needs.7
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beckacrafting wrote: »For me it just clicked one day. I woke up and thought it's today or never and haven't looked back. That was over four months and 60 lbs ago. I've tried countless times before and failed. I'm not sure what makes this journey different. Maybe it was being told I was prediabetic. Maybe it was the fact I couldn't make it up a flight of stairs without heavy breathing. Maybe it was not being able to do anything with the kids because I was constantly tired. Maybe all that together just compounded into a more powerful pull than pizza had over me. Whatever the reason, I'm thankful for it. I can now run a mile, stairs no longer scare me, I'm a new person who may still have a long journey ahead but the goal is a lot closer now and everyday I succeed is just that much more motivation to continue to reach for that goal. There may be bumps, stalls, or temptations but they are not as strong as we are, we just have to find out just how strong we truly are and hold on to that strength as of our life depended on it because it indeed does.
This is what it was for me. It clicked. I cannot say why...other that I decided one day I'd had enough and that 2016 was going to be the year of change.1 -
I got diagnosed with prediabetes and I was sprinting towards full blown diabetes. Diabetes means watching your intake, so I thought to myself: if I'm going to be watching my intake anyway, why not do it without all the health risks that come with diabetes? I was hoping weight loss would help me lower my blood sugar and it did. I haven't tried to lose weight before this so I don't know if I would have succeeded or failed on a different attempt.
It just clicks for some people for whatever reason causing them to keep working at it. I find it intriguing but I don't really understand why it happens.3 -
I read this book that helped me a lot. "Thin for Life: 10 Keys to Success from People Who Have Lost Weight & Kept It Off" By Anne M. Fletcher, M.S., F.D. (1994) It's not about a diet or exercise plan, but lots of information from people about what worked for them. I see it's available on Amazon.
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For me, it was a mixture of things. I was just so sick and tired of 'dieting'. I have successfully lost weight numerous times, losing 2-3 stones in about 3 months but never keeping it off. I have constantly chased after the quick fixes. I know what it's like to lose weight on a 1200 calorie diet and on a 2000 calorie diet, but always with 'rules'. I started listening to podcasts, and in particular, Alan Aragon. I can't even say why everything fell in to place for me; maybe I was just finally ready to listen to evidence based information and not headline grabbing stuff. Slow and steady wins the race 2
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Developing diabetes and feeling sick and tired were my defining moments. Choose to live or choose to die.4
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ItsyBitsy246 wrote: »It's a mental shift. Don't know the psychology behind it, but in my case triggered by sheer and utter disgust with myself.
I totally agree with you it's a mental shift. I've been on Plenty of diets lost and put the weight back on. I've been miserable during that time.
This time something is different. It just clicked and it was so easy to do and I wasn't miserable I actually had fun. Like anything else in life it's a mindset and once you get the mindset nothing can stop1 -
I learned from past mistakes. My continuous fails have taught me to succeed this time around, its like each time I start again, I always think, "wish I knew then what I know now...". For me I had to have a change of attitude towards food before it would become a habit, in other words, I needed to first understand my relationship with food. When I finally won the battle with my mind my body followed. This battle took me about three years since being on and off on MFP. This year I came back in January armed with everything I now know and determined myself to log my diary daily (although I have missed some days, I still entered my food intake from the day before). I have lost 30lbs so far.5
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Thank you all for your response. It made me think a lot. Living in a society where instant gratification is the norm, we have forgotten to live like natural beings. I realize that I had associated losing weight as pain because I failed so many times. I must change my perspective and look forward to what I will gain and not look back at the past failures. Just one day at a time. Not giving up. Not to compare with others but focus on what works for me.5
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I am back for the 2nd time - not because I gained the weight back - but because after losing 100 lbs, I felt so good, I got lazy, and when life intervened, as it always does, I dialed back on the activity and ate whatever I wanted. Fortunately, I didn't lose a lot of ground that way - only 10-15 lbs.
The FIRST time, I woke up one morning, (at 367 lbs) and really said to myself : *KITTEN!* If I feel this awful at 40, what is it going to feel like at 60? or 80? I decided then, that I didn't want to feel bad and then worse for the rest of my life and did something about it.
THIS time, I realized that I had lost that 15 pounds I gained back by ACCIDENT because I was more physically active due to helping my husband after he was injured. I realized if I could lose the weight by accident, just by moving a little more, there was no reason on this Earth that I couldn't do better than that on purpose. It didn't hurt that my Doc told me I was pre-diabetic... that was a motivator, too... My annual checkup was when I realized I had lost that 15 lbs - so the combination of those two things brought me here. That whole, "I did it before and I can do it again" thing is working for me.4 -
goal100determined wrote: »Thank you all for your response. It made me think a lot. Living in a society where instant gratification is the norm, we have forgotten to live like natural beings. I realize that I had associated losing weight as pain because I failed so many times. I must change my perspective and look forward to what I will gain and not look back at the past failures. Just one day at a time. Not giving up. Not to compare with others but focus on what works for me.
For me ... what I gained from losing weight was being able to do the cycling events I love again. I could have still done them if I lived in a flat part of the world, but my husband and I moved to a very hilly part of the world, and I couldn't haul all that weight up hills. It made me sad to think that I just couldn't do it anymore. But I lost the weight ... and I can do the rides again!
Sometimes it helps to focus on something other than the weight. Focus on fitness goals, or travel goals or something. And don't wait until you reach a certain weight to start working toward those goals, start now.
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I think something that hasn't been mentioned is that if you want this to be a lifelong change, then forget about fad diet, forget about getting rid of this or that, especially if you like/love them.
I don't believe in "no sugar / no sweets / no ice cream / no French fries / no fatty dish", etc. YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING !
Life is to be enjoyed. Just make sure that in the grand scheme of things, there is balance in what you eat and what you burn.
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StealthHealth wrote: »The people who are successful got all their failures out of the way early.
I don't know about this at all.....life can be fraught with failure. One can never see the future but those events don't have to derail you.
Success is driven by the individual for the individual IMO, there are so many examples here in the wonderful responses that show how wide and varied we are at what drives us on to try and make the best of our life, improve our health and be the best damn us we can be.
That said though, in response to continuing the success into years of maintenance is being able to apply those skills of identifying what makes us tick and give our all even in the face of illness, injury, mental stress and depression, loss of job etc etc.
The ability to be flexible is key IMO, again.
The dreams I had when I first reached goal weight were to get as strong and fit as I possibly could but I only got so far then a sudden, life long change in health had me dead in my tracks and my previous dreams were dashed.
Yes I did grieve but I did realize my first lot of dreams weren't the only meaningful ones for me. I changed my goals. Found fulfillment via other means, I didn't lose sight and regain the weight, it was bloody hard and is still a daily struggle that throws me curve balls a lot but I have learnt to bounce.
I think that anyone who believes that they are going to slay all their demons or problems at the beginning and never have to face any other challenges is setting themselves up for probable disappointment and failure due to failure to plan.5 -
HippySkoppy wrote: »StealthHealth wrote: »The people who are successful got all their failures out of the way early.
I don't know about this at all.....life can be fraught with failure. One can never see the future but those events don't have to derail you.
Success is driven by the individual for the individual IMO, there are so many examples here in the wonderful responses that show how wide and varied we are at what drives us on to try and make the best of our life, improve our health and be the best damn us we can be.
That said though, in response to continuing the success into years of maintenance is being able to apply those skills of identifying what makes us tick and give our all even in the face of illness, injury, mental stress and depression, loss of job etc etc.
The ability to be flexible is key IMO, again.
The dreams I had when I first reached goal weight were to get as strong and fit as I possibly could but I only got so far then a sudden, life long change in health had me dead in my tracks and my previous dreams were dashed.
Yes I did grieve but I did realize my first lot of dreams weren't the only meaningful ones for me. I changed my goals. Found fulfillment via other means, I didn't lose sight and regain the weight, it was bloody hard and is still a daily struggle that throws me curve balls a lot but I have learnt to bounce.
I think that anyone who believes that they are going to slay all their demons or problems at the beginning and never have to face any other challenges is setting themselves up for probable disappointment and failure due to failure to plan.
I agree with all this. My post was a quick thought dashed off rapidly and so lacks subtlety. I think you said what I was thinking much better - that someone who is apparently successful now has probably made mistakes and overcome problems in the past and learnt from them and will/can use that experience to overcome obstacles in the future.1 -
Total commitment from the very first day, that this would be the last time that "I will start over tomorrow".
It is now almost 53 months from that day, and 32 months on maintenance.6 -
Change happens when the pain of staying the same exceeds that of making a change.
This.^^^
When I began my weight loss journey (6 years ago) I didn't take it nearly as serious as I do now and its mainly because I hadn't seen the pain of what being obese does until a few years ago and thats when I decided to truly put my all into this. Now 2 years later and 70lbs down, I feel like I will get to my destination this time. 70lbs to go!4 -
only you can make yourself exercise and watch your calories. No one else can do it for you. Once you realize this, then you are on the road to success !=)4
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What do I want and how bad do I want it? Finally just clicked for me and keeps clicking...most days!3
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I am succeeding this time because I actually really changed my lifestyle. It took my youngest son then 28yo telling me at age 65 that I always ignored my family's efforts to talk to Me about my weight/health. That conversation reminded me how my alcoholic mother did nothing about her drinking despite the concerns of her husband and six kids ...she died at age 54.
I realized I was not just hurting myself but I was impacting my DW, three sons, and my grandkids. I promised him any myself that I would do something. Joined WW, joined a gym, go to water aerobics 4X a week, swim 1/4 mile in laps,!walk my dog and enjoy living more mow at age 68, -140# and still losing now @236#.
My son probably helped me add years onto my life.9 -
For me it was the right food plan combination (along with exercise/strength training) that actually worked. Every time I tried before, I hit a plateau at about 180 lbs and couldn't get off it, regardless of what I did. For me CICO by itself did not work. I discovered, because of my daughter's celiac diagnosis that I, too am gluten intolerant. That had been a huge stumbling block in my weight loss. Once I went gluten free, adhered to a basically clean food plan, the lbs came off. I lost over 100 lbs in 10 months - no plateaus. I'm in maintenance at 128 lbs now, and not having trouble keeping it off.4
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