"Instead of Losing Weight, I Lost the Clothes that Didn't Fit"

checkthestove

The title of this post is a title of a video on Youtube that showed up on my recommended for some reason.

I gave it the benefit of the doubt and wached it.

She has been losing and gaining weight her entire life, but more specifically she had been gaining slowly over the course of 4 years and her clothes didn't fit anymore. She admits that she ended her eating disorder behaviors and that's why she's been gaining weight.

She explains that it makes her feel bad every morning, so she wants to just get rid of all of the clothes in her closet that do not fit.

At one point, she gets upset while throwing away her clothes and says she doesn't want to do it, but then says, "It's better than the alternative."

While that could mean anything, it seemed to mean it's better than trying to lose weight and falling back into her old behaviors.

After throwing away all of her clothes, she goes shopping for a new wardrobe of clothes that fit and that she feels good in.

She never discloses information about her body, but you can see that she's somewhere in the overweight bracket. She's not extremely overweight or obese, but she's not exactly in the healthy range.

The comments were filled with people expressing their opinions on the video and everyone seemed to come from different perspectives. Since we are a community that focuses mainly on our bodies, I was wondering what you guys thought of it.

Does this send a lazy message or an inspirational one?

What is your opinion of it?

I have my own opinion, and I tried to make this as unbiased as possible, but I am curious to see what everyone here thinks.

WinoGelato

Do you have the link?

checkthestove

https://youtu.be/CoRwJDqdqG4

WinoGelato

Hmm. I wish she had clarified whether her intent was to still work on losing the weight or if she's giving up on that altogether.

I do think accepting your body and finding clothes that are flattering at your current size is a positive first step toward losing weight in a healthy way that focuses on long term sustainability, rather than unhealthy eating disordered behavior that she indicated she had struggled with in the past.

I think what she talks about is something that many of us struggle with, our own body image and how much of our self worth is wrapped up in what we see staring back at us in the mirror. I just wish she would elaborate on if this is the first step or the final one for her. Accepting where she is now is one thing, but if she continues to gain weight, then what?

ninerbuff

IMO, the clothing reminds her of the mindset she's in at that time. In essence, how clothes fit is really a good indicator of whether you're gaining/losing body fat more than the scale. But like any other new approach, it can be emotionally tolling. Especially if it may have been clothing that one really likes and KNOWS it's not going to fit correctly when it fit fine before. There's a sense of failure. Good thing is, there is ALWAYS recourse. I'm sure she'll find her way. Speaking and acknowledging it is a great start.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Lounmoun

"She has been losing and gaining weight her entire life, but more specifically she had been gaining slowly over the course of 4 years and her clothes didn't fit anymore. She admits that she ended her eating disorder behaviors and that's why she's been gaining weight."

I didn't watch the video yet or read comments on it. This is a person who has struggled with diets and an eating disorder her whole life according to your description.
I feel that for many people taking the step to get mentally in a good place with yourself is more important to long term healthy habits than looking at clothes that don't fit every day and hating themselves. She looks maybe 10-15 lbs overweight to me. I think this person likely needs to feel good about herself and stop focusing on weight now or she will continue her negative unhealthy cycle. I'd say she is working on healing her inner self right now and new clothes and putting out this video is part of that process for her I don't feel that is lazy but a different kind of work.
I don't exactly feel inspired. I didn't have the same struggles as this person. I do feel supportive/sympathetic toward her and wish her well. Will she maintain her current weight forever or approach weight loss in a healthy way in future? Hard to say.
eta I read her article on this topic here-> https://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/instead-of-losing-weight-i-just-lost-the-clothes-7vd?utm_term=.na5J19WG0#.vr1ap7PGE

JustMissTracy

Everyone has to do what's right for themselves. I've had body image issues my whole life, which also circled around losing and gaining weight, but I don't think giving up and giving in would be the answer for me. For me the answer was trying to be the best I could be, at my age, with what God gave me and what I have the ability to change. But this didn't happen over-nite, I didn't find easy peace with myself just by working out or losing/gaining weight. I found peace with myself by working on my inner demons, day after day, year after year. Sounds like that's what she is doing, her way. Kudos to her. Altho she may be a bit overweight, there's a great chance she is healing internally, and that alone will make weight loss easier and more sustainable when/if it happens.

DancingMoosie

I think that you have to love yourself where you are now, even if you still want to work towards change. What's the point in having a closet full of clothes that don't fit and make you feel bad about yourself? Yes, you can still have a goal to lose weight, but you aren't there yet. You can always buy new clothes if you get to a new size. Don't punish yourself because you aren't perfect. You can still be healthy and happy, even if slightly overweight.

viren19890

Disclaimer -since we don't know exact sizes or any other specific details. Response is based on what I've deduced from the video.

She isn't really accepting who she is because she found a new dimension to exist in but changing sizes. She is coming to terms with the fact that she is over-weight and since her old clothes remind her of this fact everyday she decided to throw em out. From my point of view this isn't acceptance-this is avoidance. Sure get new clothes to feel comfortable in them but keep the old ones so you can work towards them.

This line of thought- "I don't want a reminder that I'm overweight and just want to exist" what will she do when she goes out for shopping with her friends and they are buying smaller sizes? This same of line of thought means she does not want to lose weight since she failed so many times of doing it properly. (Giving up). She wants to exist -makes me think that she will let loose further and gain more weight. (Unless this is another one of those buzzfeed videos to garner video views and shares)

From my point of view- An organic healing will happen when you don't let clothes, food, society or any other OUTSIDE factors mess with your mind. Healing would happen when you say "aight I accept that I'm overweight and I've failed at losing these pounds, now I'll go slow and love my body for what it is but since I love my body I would do my best to make it as healthy as possible" instead of- "ok I've failed, my old clothes remind me of failure, Imma just get new clothes and burn any reminder that I was smaller size"


Anyone who has lost weight and kept it off knows that it take zero talent to be in shape.

st476

I didn't really agree with it much. It seemed like she couldn't make up her mind during the video, first she was saying after her first shopping trip that she hated herself and looked like she was about to cry, but the second day she was saying she's okay with herself. I find it hard to believe she's suddenly okay with herself after seeing the mental breakdown she had the day before when she tried on something she didn't like. I know the feeling of buying things that look good and feeling good about yourself for the day or moment, but obviously that feeling goes away quickly if you're not ACTUALLY happy with your body. I really think she needs to work on how she loses weight, and figure out how to do it in a healthy way. Seeing a nutritionist or a therapist for her eating disorder would be a lot more beneficial than throwing away clothes and buying new ones that make her feel good in the moment.

And I hope she donated those clothes instead of just throwing them out haha

mustb60

This is surprising that she is not taking in to account the health factor here. Is getting fit only about appearances? I don't think this ostrich's approach is going to lead her to a healthier path.

tomteboda

A lot of folks here speak about "rewarding" themselves with clothes as they lose weight. Rating Arianna's post about her clothing experience, she had the mindset that the only time she deserved to wear nice things was at her lowest weight. Coupled with a history of bulimia, she had created a life where every day that she was victorious over a dangerous and unhealthy eating disorder, she was unintentionally punishing herself.

There's nothing "lazy" about going through the hard work of changing negative thought patterns and behaviors associated with an eating disorder.

Focusing on the fact that she is not aesthetically slim and valuing her weight "unhealthy" also misses the mark. For her, right now, her weight is in a good place. She's not physically impaired by her weight, and she's not engaging in bulimic behaviors (which are really unhealthy).

She's taken the bold step of publicly opening up about the struggle of adjusting to self - acceptance with an imperfect body in the shadow of bulimia. For her, part of that was giving herself permission to enjoy wearing nice things, uncoupled from her weight.

People's reactions to her story are deeply tied to their attitudes about shaming the overweight (or aesthetically diagnosed "unhealthy").

SophieSmall95

As someone who used to have a really unhealthy view on weight and disordered eating. I don't think the video means she is giving up on her weight all together. I think she is just trying to get to a healthy state of mind before she continues with any future weight loss. And I agree with doing that, as someone with a healthy mind is more likely to do well in their weightloss and maintenance in the future. And trying to stick to a healthy weightloss regime with that unhealthy disordered mind set is extremely difficult.

chocolate_owl

I remember an episode of What Not To Wear from way back when. A former dancer got the closet makeover - she gained weight after an injury forced her to stop dancing, and she hid herself in baggy clothes because she was no longer the slender person she used to be. At one point during her shopping spree, she found an amazing red dress that complimented her figure perfectly. She sat in front of the camera that night bawling, and she finally said something like "I never realized I could like my body until I tried on that beautiful red dress." Finding that one piece of clothing made her confront years of self-hate and start to accept herself as she was in that moment.

How many times have people on this site said they couldn't stick with losing weight until they learned to accept themselves as they were? Being in a good place mentally helps greatly with weight loss and fitness. Accepting yourself is part of a healthy mindset, and clothing that fits well and flatters figures (of any size) can help people appreciate and accept their bodies. If this girl feels better with a closet full of clothes that fit, if it starts to help her accept herself as she is instead of resorting to bulimia to try to make herself "perfect," if she no longer feels like her pretty clothes that are too small are there reminding her of her flaws, then this is a really good thing for her. It gives her more space to work on a healthy mindset - from there she can decide if she wants to lose weight in a healthy manner or if she's happy where she is.

xmichaelyx

checkthestove wrote: »

She admits that she ended her eating disorder behaviors and that's why she's been gaining weight.

No, she gained weight because she chose to eat more calories than she burned. Moderation and/or weight loss doesn't require "eating disorder behaviors."

oolou

It made me pause for thought.

I bought a few things last year. The previous year, nothing. This year so far, nothing except a new pair of exercise leggings. Are my clothes starting to look a bit worn. Yeah.

I dunno ... I just don't want to buy any more clothes for the size I'm currently at. I'd rather wait until I reach a smaller size again. Right now I'll just make do with what I have.

I think it's great that the girl in the video has accepted her size and has bought clothes which make herself feel good and thrown out the clothes which no longer fitted.

But I don't want to accept the version of who I currently am.

Does that mean I dislike my current shape/size? Yes. I think I'm fat and don't look good. Hence why I'm trying to lose weight.

chocolate_owl

xmichaelyx wrote: »

checkthestove wrote: »

She admits that she ended her eating disorder behaviors and that's why she's been gaining weight.

No, she gained weight because she chose to eat more calories than she burned. Moderation and/or weight loss doesn't require "eating disorder behaviors."

Because going from bulimic binge/purge cycles to eating healthfully and moderately is oh so easy. Weight gain happens during recovery. Part of therapy is to reduce food anxiety, which can sometimes include ignoring calories while a person learns to eat without purging. A balanced, calorically appropriate diet is secondary to eating without fear. Plus a prolonged ED completely messes up your hunger signaling. Plus she probably lost a lot of muscle during her ED and probably primarily regained fat, giving her poor body composition. Plus it takes time, practice, and more time to learn how to manage weight without ED behaviors. So yeah, she gained weight because she ate excess calories, but she ate excess calories because she stopped her ED behaviors.

Need2Exerc1se

I think being happy and satisfied with your body is important. Stress and unhappiness are also linked to disease. Personally I'd rather be overweight and happy than stressed and unhappy striving to be in the healthy weight range.

Mapalicious

She can do whatever she wants. It's her body.

Stressing about looking thin can be pretty unhealthy. People tend to only think about metabolic health when they see someone who is overweight or obese, but there's a gazillion other factors to think about.

NotJustGingerly

I think the video is an expression of her personal journey to learn some self love and is not lazy. Most people I know have items in their closet that don't fit but they cling to for whatever reason. I used to work in a plus size women's fashion store and the message I think we all need to learn is to do whatever you need to do to be comfortable and confident in your own body. If it means getting rid of the clothes that make you feel bad and buying new clothes that make you feel good, then do it. Not doing anything and being miserable is lazy; therefore the inspiration she wishes to pass on is to rethink your approach in regards to clothes and your personal self image.

ja1721

xmichaelyx wrote: »

checkthestove wrote: »

She admits that she ended her eating disorder behaviors and that's why she's been gaining weight.

No, she gained weight because she chose to eat more calories than she burned. Moderation and/or weight loss doesn't require "eating disorder behaviors."

From what I've noticed, people who are recovering from eating disorders tend to gain more weight than just a few pounds. Its very common. You have to break the mentality. For you and me saying we cant eat a certain thing or that we need to excercise more is fine but for someone recovering from this, it could trigger them. The only way to make sure she wasnt taking in more calories than putting out is that she still count calories and exercise, but most therapists would tell her to not do that, because there is no way for sure that anyone could keep on eye in her and make sure she was't going the the extreme. It would be too high risk, like allowing to a recovering alcoholic anywhere near a bar. Once they have recovered enough that they can move to a different stage, they can be a healthy weight. If it works for her than great. She cant do both at the same time.
On top of that her metabolism is going from starvation mode to normal, so whatever extra she will eat (extra from straving) will be held on to for dear life in her fat reserves. So she is going to be a bit "plump."

As for my two cents on this question:
The eating disorder recovery world is very different than our world. If someone recovering from an eating disorder eats a piece of cake, its progress.
But if we do, its a set back. Which is why i believe this question is being asked to the wrong group of people. We dont know the ins and out of and eating disorder. We dont know the recovery process. We dont know this girl at all or what will work for her. Bottom line: unless we have been there, what do we know. If it helps her even for a little while, then whats the issue?

lithezebra

I think she's in the healthy range, and that she's made a healthy choice. I suffered from an eating disorder in my teens, and I'm the last person who would disrespect this woman's choice by second guessing it, or insinuating that she should could or should achieve whatever the shape is that other people consider "healthy." She isn't starving and she's certainly not even close to being obese. Everything in between is healthy.

tomteboda

ja1721 wrote: »

From what I've noticed, people who are recovering from eating disorders tend to gain more weight than just a few pounds. Its very common. You have to break the mentality. For you and me saying we cant eat a certain thing or that we need to excercise more is fine but for someone recovering from this, it could trigger them. The only way to make sure she wasnt taking in more calories than putting out is that she still count calories and exercise, but most therapists would tell her to not do that, because there is no way for sure that anyone could keep on eye in her and make sure she was't going the the extreme. It would be too high risk, like allowing to a recovering alcoholic anywhere near a bar. Once they have recovered enough that they can move to a different stage, they can be a healthy weight. If it works for her than great. She cant do both at the same time.
On top of that her metabolism is going from starvation mode to normal, so whatever extra she will eat (extra from straving) will be held on to for dear life in her fat reserves. So she is going to be a bit "plump."

As for my two cents on this question:
The eating disorder recovery world is very different than our world. If someone recovering from an eating disorder eats a piece of cake, its progress.
But if we do, its a set back. Which is why i believe this question is being asked to the wrong group of people. We dont know the ins and out of and eating disorder. We dont know the recovery process. We dont know this girl at all or what will work for her. Bottom line: unless we have been there, what do we know. If it helps her even for a little while, then whats the issue?

My family were very nervous when I started losing weight because I suffered from an eating disorder in my late teens as well. I totally appreciate what you say here. For some of us, being overweight is *way* healthier than re-entering the dark pit of disordered eating and all that goes with it.

I've been very, very careful as I've lost weight, and I'll admit sometimes the dark side calls. Especially when I see the fitness inspiration photographs and all the women my height who aim for weights as much as 30 lbs less than my goal. Because those are like these awful siren's calls to go back to that very bad place.