RANT. Everyones A Weight Loss Expert
CBrook04
Posts: 107
Yesterday a few of us went out for supper. I ordered a burger & fries , cut the burger & half and only ate half of it. (because i knew how many calories were in it & planned what i was going to eat before going out) I was trying to eat slowly, giving myself time to enjoy the treat & give myself time to feel full. I was asked "aren't you going to eat" & I replied that I was trying not to eat the whole serving on my plate. Then I get a "your body needs fats, cause if not anything that you will eat is going to turn into fat if you don't get enough" :laugh: It annoys the hell out of me how everyone is a "weight loss expert". By cutting that burger in half I cut my calories in half & was still able to enjoy a treat within my calories... I wasn't trying to starve myself! Everyone needs to stick they're nose in & tell me what I should & shouldn't do. & then have the guts to ask me how much I ate today like I'm some kind of anorexic. I'm a grown *kitten* woman, I can eat what I want. I am in no way starving myself, I'm just learning & teaching myself moderation.. the thing I lacked before getting fat. I really don't think people realize how many calories they are suppose to have a day & how many calories are in a meal. If you don't know everything ,stop acting like it!! :explode:
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Yeah, I too love advice from those who have no clue as to what they're talking about. You're doing great and if the lunkheads don't get it, then it's their problem, not yours
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Not much you can do or say in response to telling you that you need fat when you're clearly getting it from half a hamburger. Just ignore it or change the subject. I hate talking about fitness and exercise with friends as I don't want to make people who do absolutely nothing feel bad, but at the same time I don't need their input either. It's about as much fun as talking about religion or politics.0
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It is aggravating, but happy for you that you have portion control. That's a major step in your fitness journey!:flowerforyou:0
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Definitely know what you mean :explode: :explode:
..but I guess just don't let them get to you. It's hard to follow your plan when you've got people around you saying stuff like
"just one bite!" (which then turns into 20 'bites')
"gain some weight!" (when you just lost 30lbs)
"are you sure your not anorexic" & *from my mother!* "I hope your not bulimic" (came out of nowhere)
1) It hurts. People really don't know what it's like to struggle through a weight loss & they are undermining everything you've worked for.
2) It's none of their business, especially when your doing the right thing by being healthier!
3) Again, don't let it get to you! Stick it out and be a healthy YOU.
:drinker: :drinker: 0 -
Yesterday a few of us went out for supper. I ordered a burger & fries , cut the burger & half and only ate half of it. (because i knew how many calories were in it & planned what i was going to eat before going out) I was trying to eat slowly, giving myself time to enjoy the treat & give myself time to feel full. I was asked "aren't you going to eat" & I replied that I was trying not to eat the whole serving on my plate. Then I get a "your body needs fats, cause if not anything that you will eat is going to turn into fat if you don't get enough" :laugh: It annoys the hell out of me how everyone is a "weight loss expert". By cutting that burger in half I cut my calories in half & was still able to enjoy a treat within my calories... I wasn't trying to starve myself! Everyone needs to stick they're nose in & tell me what I should & shouldn't do. & then have the guts to ask me how much I ate today like I'm some kind of anorexic. I'm a grown *kitten* woman, I can eat what I want. I am in no way starving myself, I'm just learning & teaching myself moderation.. the thing I lacked before getting fat. I really don't think people realize how many calories they are suppose to have a day & how many calories are in a meal. If you don't know everything ,stop acting like it!! :explode:
You're doing everything right with calories and planning how much you want to eat.
I'm like you, though.... dealing with people is the hard part. I'm trying to work on those skills, too. We all want to share what we're doing with our friends, family, and co-workers. I've found out that I'm better off if I keep it to myself (except on MFP), because other people are not on the same page and it just invites more interest than I want.
I'm also trying to say no and how to stand up for myself. There are dozens of ways to do this, some polite, some not. I want to stop myself from over-explaining. It's really just nosiness on their part and an attempt to control me.0 -
weird!
nobody ever butts into what i'm eating. perhaps it's to do with how they see you as much as how they see food? they don't respect your intelligence, common sense and knowledge. are these people just as disrespectful in other areas of your life?0 -
I agree!! I just love it when my husband tells me "You should just stop eating chocolate and you'd be all set." Really?!? Thanks! Your doing the right thing!! Sometimes I find just not explaining yourself is better. In the future when you only eat 1/2 a burger just say Boy am I stuffed!!!! Had a huge lunch!!!! People will leave you alone if they think your over doing it!!!0
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I agree with this. Misery loves company...cliché but so true!0
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I receive weight loss advice frequently... actually MUCH more frequently now that I'm losing weight. My favorite advice is always "just stop drinking soda and park in the furthest spot". Uh yeah, because my two a month diet soda habit is what's keeping me fat..... and didn't you notice that I freaking WALK the half mile to and from work every day.... and did so long before I started losing the weight?????????
I also love when I get told that I should indulge in certain things because "everything in moderation" I actually agree with this but for me "moderation" does not include indulging simply because someone else wants me to!0 -
I agree!! I just love it when my husband tells me "You should just stop eating chocolate and you'd be all set." Really?!? Thanks! Your doing the right thing!! Sometimes I find just not explaining yourself is better. In the future when you only eat 1/2 a burger just say Boy am I stuffed!!!! Had a huge lunch!!!! People will leave you alone if they think your over doing it!!!
That sounds like a great idea. Disguise cutting portions! Pretty sad when you have to eat to please other people. Ha!0 -
Yep been there and done that
Even now every once in awhile I'll have someone ask me if I'm going to eat. Yes I will eat but like you if I'm going out I plan ahead. Yesterday for instance I planned on having a wrap but no fries and asked for a baked potato, sans butter, instead. It isn't that I don't want to eat the fries but they simply did not fit in to my day and I didn't want all the grease. I've kept this weight off for about 8 years so by now people know that I understand what I'm doing here and rarely question it...thankfully! 0 -
After 12+ years of homeschooling, I have gotten so much "advice".. I have become good at the "Smile and Nod" response ..and the ”what a pretty blouse! Where did you get it??" evasion-type-reflection whe letting the " advice" roll off me like a greasy duck.
Both of these work in any situation of annoying advice.0 -
Probably jealous of your self control. My family goes out for lunch almost every sunday after church and its always to a greasy chinese place so I just have to sit there not eating while they all tell me that " i need to eat" ill get sick blah blah blah. They arent with me all day and have no idea what i ate before or what I will eat after. They also think the veggies there are healthy so they constantly try to force butter and MSG soaked veggies on me. You just have to do whats right for you and take their adivce lightly0
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weird!
nobody ever butts into what i'm eating. perhaps it's to do with how they see you as much as how they see food? they don't respect your intelligence, common sense and knowledge. are these people just as disrespectful in other areas of your life?
It is weird because the only person who says anything is my boyfriends mother & grandmother. They are great people but always telling me that if I don't derail some time then I will ultimately fail. (I know & I am practicing moderation. I eat something "bad" when I want, not when others tell me to) & maybe that's what they have a problem with? I don't know.. All I know this is as much weight I have ever lost. I never thought I would be able to do it, so for people to comment & saying what I should eat cause "it won't hurt" is irritating because I'm a horrible eater as it is. I'm just cutting portions. So, instead of seeing me eat a whole plate full of veggies (i hate veggies) you will see me eat a small portion of "bad foods". Same calories, it just looks like less. :huh:0 -
Wow, so if your body can turn other nutrients into fat, if you eat only fat, can it turn that into healthy nutrients too??
I hate ignorant people. Suddenly everyone's an expert. I totally agree with the smile and nod technique. I used to try to educate them and explain why they were wrong, but it's not worth it. Now I just say, 'I've lost 28 pounds doing it my way, I think I'm doing just fine, thanks.' That tends to shut them up.
You're not alone!!0 -
I receive weight loss advice frequently... actually MUCH more frequently now that I'm losing weight. My favorite advice is always "just stop drinking soda and park in the furthest spot". Uh yeah, because my two a month diet soda habit is what's keeping me fat..... and didn't you notice that I freaking WALK the half mile to and from work every day.... and did so long before I started losing the weight?????????
I also love when I get told that I should indulge in certain things because "everything in moderation" I actually agree with this but for me "moderation" does not include indulging simply because someone else wants me to!
Yes, yes, yes!!!! I can't agree enough. I am not about to slam down a donut because someone else thinks I should. I will do it when I want to & am able to fit it into my day.0 -
reminds me of this week when my friend was giving all sorts of diet and weight loss advice(the last time she saw me was 20lb ago lol).....she s maybe 100lb overweight and is the classic yoyo dieter...i eat everything in moderation n work out n been losing weight slowly.....0
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It sucks, but when people close to you say things like that, they often do have good intentions (not always). Be polite, but don't compromise what you're doing for your health to please them.0
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I actually agree with this but for me "moderation" does not include indulging simply because someone else wants me to!
This!0 -
I never have anyone say a word about what I do or don't eat. Do you talk about losing weight with people?
In the future if you plan to eat half get a to go box along with your meal so you can cut the burger in half right when you get it. If asked, tell people you want to save half for later because it's so big or you aren't too hungry or whatever. Also bonus: you get to enjoy the rest for lunch tomorrow!0 -
I never have anyone say a word about what I do or don't eat. Do you talk about losing weight with people?
In the future if you plan to eat half get a to go box along with your meal so you can cut the burger in half right when you get it. If asked, tell people you want to save half for later because it's so big or you aren't too hungry or whatever. Also bonus: you get to enjoy the rest for lunch tomorrow!
I don't say a thing. They always ask me every week how I did at my weigh in. I don't volunteer information unless asked. I actually find it uncomfortable.0 -
weird!
nobody ever butts into what i'm eating. perhaps it's to do with how they see you as much as how they see food? they don't respect your intelligence, common sense and knowledge. are these people just as disrespectful in other areas of your life?
It is weird because the only person who says anything is my boyfriends mother & grandmother. They are great people but always telling me that if I don't derail some time then I will ultimately fail. (I know & I am practicing moderation. I eat something "bad" when I want, not when others tell me to) & maybe that's what they have a problem with? I don't know.. All I know this is as much weight I have ever lost. I never thought I would be able to do it, so for people to comment & saying what I should eat cause "it won't hurt" is irritating because I'm a horrible eater as it is. I'm just cutting portions. So, instead of seeing me eat a whole plate full of veggies (i hate veggies) you will see me eat a small portion of "bad foods". Same calories, it just looks like less. :huh:
If it's just your boyfriend's mother & grandmother then this isn't about what you're eating at all. They're nitpicking because that is what they do. How many women do you know who truly get along with and adore their mother-in-laws?0 -
i'm cruel. the conversation would go thus:I never have anyone say a word about what I do or don't eat. Do you talk about losing weight with people?
In the future if you plan to eat half get a to go box along with your meal so you can cut the burger in half right when you get it. If asked, tell people you want to save half for later because it's so big or you aren't too hungry or whatever. Also bonus: you get to enjoy the rest for lunch tomorrow!
I don't say a thing. They always ask me every week how I did at my weigh in. I don't volunteer information unless asked. I actually find it uncomfortable.
how did the weigh in go?
oh, fine.
...but how much did you lose?
oh! i weigh XXX pounds this week. what about you?
this only works if you can pull off the blatantly rude question with a smile of absolutely innocent interest.
my family & friends know me well enough to know that prying can be an uncomfortable experience 0 -
Where I am now (in my life) I have very supportive friends/family, who don't question when I say, "no thankyou". There was a time (earlier in my life) when I had the opposite problem though. Instead of telling me I didn't eat "enough", I had people watching me like a hawk and telling me why I "shouldn't" eat something, because they knew I was trying to lose weight. They were all well meaning, and only had my best interest at heart, but that's just as bad as the enablers who tell you you should eat more.0
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weird!
nobody ever butts into what i'm eating. perhaps it's to do with how they see you as much as how they see food? they don't respect your intelligence, common sense and knowledge. are these people just as disrespectful in other areas of your life?
It is weird because the only person who says anything is my boyfriends mother & grandmother. They are great people but always telling me that if I don't derail some time then I will ultimately fail. (I know & I am practicing moderation. I eat something "bad" when I want, not when others tell me to) & maybe that's what they have a problem with? I don't know.. All I know this is as much weight I have ever lost. I never thought I would be able to do it, so for people to comment & saying what I should eat cause "it won't hurt" is irritating because I'm a horrible eater as it is. I'm just cutting portions. So, instead of seeing me eat a whole plate full of veggies (i hate veggies) you will see me eat a small portion of "bad foods". Same calories, it just looks like less. :huh:
If it's just your boyfriend's mother & grandmother then this isn't about what you're eating at all. They're nitpicking because that is what they do. How many women do you know who truly get along with and adore their mother-in-laws?
Very true. It's just irritating. I love them both dearly but they do drive me bonkers sometimes. They are all for me losing weight, but they don't wanna see my efforts.. if that makes any sense. Lol0 -
weird!
nobody ever butts into what i'm eating. perhaps it's to do with how they see you as much as how they see food? they don't respect your intelligence, common sense and knowledge. are these people just as disrespectful in other areas of your life?
It is weird because the only person who says anything is my boyfriends mother & grandmother. They are great people but always telling me that if I don't derail some time then I will ultimately fail. (I know & I am practicing moderation. I eat something "bad" when I want, not when others tell me to) & maybe that's what they have a problem with? I don't know.. All I know this is as much weight I have ever lost. I never thought I would be able to do it, so for people to comment & saying what I should eat cause "it won't hurt" is irritating because I'm a horrible eater as it is. I'm just cutting portions. So, instead of seeing me eat a whole plate full of veggies (i hate veggies) you will see me eat a small portion of "bad foods". Same calories, it just looks like less. :huh:
If it's just your boyfriend's mother & grandmother then this isn't about what you're eating at all. They're nitpicking because that is what they do. How many women do you know who truly get along with and adore their mother-in-laws?
In-Laws ... that's an entirely separate rant right there :grumble:
OP, I just want to say that if you have the ability to cut a damn burger in half, then you rock. I'm still working on that, and failing. Keep it up!0 -
I agree completely! A certain co-worker of mine tries to get me to go to lunch at a certain restaurant that we used to frequent (and where I ate lots of "bad" food which led to my weight gain). She knows I am losing weight, have been since Feb, but still asks to go there weekly. I just tell her that you know I won't go there, but we can go to (and suggest another healthier restaurant)
I also have this issue with folks telling me losing weight will "get rid of" my diabetes. That is a whole other rant, which I won't go into here. but I am a Type 1, on an insulin pump and losing weight will not "fix" my pancreas. grrr.:grumble:
Be proud of what you are doing and press on, you can do this!! :drinker:0 -
You want to see an entire room dissect your eating habits, try telling them you're a vegetarian on a diet. That gets old fast.0
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My mother will give me advice on dieting and its really funny. I weigh more than her, but I am thinner. She towears a size 14 and I wear a 12 on average. She can't understand what the difference is. The main difference is that I have a higher percentage of muscle. My mom has been relatively sedentary her whole life and completely sedentary for the last 20 years. I mean walking 2 blocks is too hard. I understand she is going to be 83, but my uncle is 90 and 3 times as active. Then she will try to tell me that I am eating wrong.
Keep in mind this was the same woman who only served one can of veggies for a family of 4 when I was growing up and Pizza was standard Friday night dinner. When went trick or treating she ate all the Milky Ways the first night, second night all the 3 Muskateers were gone, third night all the Snickers. Gee I wonder why I have bad eating habits.
FYI, I am adopted too, so our body types are completely different. I am a medium build she actually has a tiny frame (all her watches and rings are too small for me since I am like 12years old).
I also definitely recommend the "I am not really that hungry, had a late lunch" or "I was hungry in the afternoon and had a snack, so not as hungry now"0 -
Grr, that would definitely annoy me. Somehow, "portion control" has never been as popular as vilifying or sanctifying various food groups.
The last time I was in a burger joint, this guy next to me was telling his friend all about his diet. You "don't eat carbs" for six days out of the week, but then you eat them one day of the week, and magically, they do not count. Meanwhile, he is eating his burger with cheese, avocado, sauteed onions, etc.--but of course minus bun. It took all of my self-control not to point out the carb count in his meal to him. But I restrained myself.0
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