anyone else have a hard time dealing with retirement?

brenn24179

I am not overeating and the feelings are coming up. I am still working part time and may have to do this for the rest of my life for emotional reasons.

I get so bored, restless. I am off work for a month right now because I work for the school part time and they start back end of August. I guess I have the A personality. Friends say to me enjoy yourself, slow down and smell the roses but I have much too much energy. I went to the pool today at my gym which does help but geez retirement is such an adjustment. Anyone relate? Will I get use to it eventually? It is easier to watch my eating but such a void or hole there.

AnnPT77

You may recall from another thread elsewhere that I'm a happy retiree.

What I don't think I said there was that it did take me a couple of years to stop twitching.

Don't get me wrong, I was pretty happy right away, so I'm not changing my story, and can't be much help to you in that respect.

What I'm saying is that after leaving a fast-paced, high-pressure job, I feel like I was somehow physically adapted (IMO) to something like the level of adrenaline, the quick changes of topic & activity all day long, and/or other similar factors. It was as if I had to switch activities often, for (what had become) no good reason at all, because it was what I was used to. I'd do yard work for an hour, feel like I ought to go grocery shop, come home & work on a hobby for a half an hour, call a friend to go to dinner . . . etc.

It took a long time to settle into a new rhythm, and feel comfortable. For me, it's not necessarily a less productive rhythm, but it's different productive, and substantially happier. YMMV on that score.

But slow adaptation I can relate to, and I tell all my retiring friend to anticipate that possibility.

kshama2001

Libraries, hospitals, and animal shelters could be good sources for picking up a volunteer gig.

My mom is retired and has the most amazing garden.

She also has a 200+ year old house that requires quite a bit of upkeep.

She also walk, swims, practices yoga, goes to the gym, and keeps my mentally ill brother out of trouble, which has been a full time job in the past but no longer with his new meds. She squeezes in time with friends.

maxit

brenn24179 wrote: »

I am not overeating and the feelings are coming up. I am still working part time and may have to do this for the rest of my life for emotional reasons.

I get so bored, restless. I am off work for a month right now because I work for the school part time and they start back end of August. I guess I have the A personality. Friends say to me enjoy yourself, slow down and smell the roses but I have much too much energy. I went to the pool today at my gym which does help but geez retirement is such an adjustment. Anyone relate? Will I get use to it eventually? It is easier to watch my eating but such a void or hole there.

My transition to retirement transition took around 39 seconds, but then again I am generally a relaxed person and don't need structured activity to keep me cheerful. I have friends who are happiest with specific reasons to leave the house every day, involvement in activities that accomplish things or solve problems in a way useful to the community, and a set of "work friends." If you find that working part time is good for you, then go for it. A person can easily smell roses while working part time

MaxineMarieM

Retirement took me a few years to get use to too. I have to admit there are times when I wish I could get a PT job. I do some volunteer work but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough but then I think of "Having" to work and I am content again to be retired. I say do what works for you! If you want to work PT go for it there is nothing wrong with not retiring , it is an individual choice.

lthames0810

I retired only two months ago. I'm still loving it. I had to leave a job I thought I loved, but only now do I realize how much it was sucking the life out of me.

I have time to go to the gym or ride my bike every day. I had time to watch the full live broadcast of the Tour de France. I have time to prepare and eat proper meals instead of slamming down whatever. I'm actually finally losing weight.

Yeah, I know...I should get back to you when the novelty wears off.

MelaniaTrump

@lthmes0810 I hear that a lot "I now have time to prepare meals".

brenn24179

thanks for your replies. I have a love/hate relationship with retirement. When I have stuff to do I love it. I do go to the gym, most of them are older than me in the mornings. I am glad someone said it did take time for them and I am not the only one. I have worked only part time for 20 years, my husband says I am spoiled. He may be right or I would appreciate retirement more! I just think most days is this all there is? I miss people, have no brothers or sisters or kids nearby so that makes it more difficult or it is just A personality, who knows? Hey it is not all bad, it is easier to keep my weight down, 40 lbs that is from 4 years ago.

LauraCoth

I absolutely love retirement. I left a very stressful profession four years ago and never looked back. I have time to do anything I want -- or nothing, if that's what I want. I have hobbies and I love to read. I love hiking. I like gardening.

The main thing for me is to keep my mind active, and there are many ways to do that.

minniestar55

I'm having a hard time dealing with my husband's retirement...I'm active & busy but he has turned into a fixture on the sofa except for golf 2x weekly. Driving me insane.

Luna3828

I am retired several years now and love it. Do not miss all the hectic work schedule or the people . I too am relaxed and enjoy the life of leisure. We did not get to this age of retirement to be busy but to enjoy life, to relax and be happy doing absolutely nothing at all. That's how I live and I love it all!!!

cross2bear

I am still working but my husband retired at the end of February from a high stress job, and he is finding it difficult as he has no structure to his day. He is a bit aimless right now, but I am not pushing him (though I wish he would push a broom sometimes...). It takes time to adjust to different stages in our lives. What is it that you miss the most - from your post, it sounds like the personal interaction with others (you "miss people") so go where the people are! Everyone suggests volunteer work, but I dont think thats for everyone - if you want total flexibility in your life, you dont want another commitment at this time. But be open to meeting new people - your pic shows you (alone) in a kayak - is there a boating club or group in your area that you can connect with?

lthames0810

minniestar55 wrote: »

I'm having a hard time dealing with my husband's retirement...I'm active & busy but he has turned into a fixture on the sofa except for golf 2x weekly. Driving me insane.

I have a friend who had retired a year or so before her husband, but returned to work after he retired to preserve her marriage and sanity.

brenn24179

I wish I could relax and do nothing at all like the ladys comments above. Geez I would go crazy. And the other lady,go where the people are, like where is that? I guess I will adjust eventually, hope so. I do miss personal interaction but my gym is fun but much older people in the mornings. I don't golf. I like biking, hiking but friends I have are quite content doing nothing and so is my husband. I do go swimming at my gym this morning.

brenn24179

IFabU wrote: »

I am retired several years now and love it. Do not miss all the hectic work schedule or the people . I too am relaxed and enjoy the life of leisure. We did not get to this age of retirement to be busy but to enjoy life, to relax and be happy doing absolutely nothing at all. That's how I live and I love it all!!!

wish I felt like this! I feel the opposite. Guess I don't know how to relax or want to. Hopefully I will find something to do especially in afternoons. I cant be happy doing nothing! Ya are lucky with that personality.

Queenmunchy

lthames0810 wrote: »

minniestar55 wrote: »

I'm having a hard time dealing with my husband's retirement...I'm active & busy but he has turned into a fixture on the sofa except for golf 2x weekly. Driving me insane.

I have a friend who had retired a year or so before her husband, but returned to work after he retired to preserve her marriage and sanity.

I see this in my mom's future. She just retired

JeromeBarry1

I plan to work until I die and hope to die at my job. I'd say that's a severely hard time dealing with the concept of retirement. My career is such that I can do that.

Karihappy

We retired Oct. 31, 2014, and have been fulltime RVing ever since. We LOVE it!!! It did take me a full nine months to feel like we weren't just on vacation and having to cram every conceivable thing into our schedule. I finally had an "Aw-ha!" moment and realized, hey, we're retired, we don't have to do everything right this second like we had to while vacationing. After that, I settled into a wonderful retirement rhythm. I now love to prepare lots of homemade meals, since I now have the time and energy to cut up everything. We have been sleeping in and then still able to take long walks and bike rides. I have managed to lose 48 pounds since last July 27th, and hope to lose another 38 this year. This is nothing I could ever even dream of doing while working my fast-paced, stressful career. Good luck to you. Keep looking. There are lots of activities to get involved with that I know you'll love.

brenn24179

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

I plan to work until I die and hope to die at my job. I'd say that's a severely hard time dealing with the concept of retirement. My career is such that I can do that.

oh my there is another one, I thought I was the only one. I have a hard time accepting it though. I have a neighbor 74 that is still working, cant stay at home. Then in the back of my mind I keep saying there has to be something better than work. At least I just do part time. may always have to.

brenn24179

Karihappy wrote: »

We retired Oct. 31, 2014, and have been fulltime RVing ever since. We LOVE it!!! It did take me a full nine months to feel like we weren't just on vacation and having to cram every conceivable thing into our schedule. I finally had an "Aw-ha!" moment and realized, hey, we're retired, we don't have to do everything right this second like we had to while vacationing. After that, I settled into a wonderful retirement rhythm. I now love to prepare lots of homemade meals, since I now have the time and energy to cut up everything. We have been sleeping in and then still able to take long walks and bike rides. I have managed to lose 48 pounds since last July 27th, and hope to lose another 38 this year. This is nothing I could ever even dream of doing while working my fast-paced, stressful career. Good luck to you. Keep looking. There are lots of activities to get involved with that I know you'll love.

That is great, Please tell me those activities. I am at a loss. This hot spell is not helping.

JeromeBarry1

I do speak harshly of it. I am acutely aware that I am young enough that I will not get enough from Social Security to pay for my cat's food much less my food. I've saved in 401K and IRA accounts and I've learned how to use cash to generate weekly income from trading options. If these retirement accounts, presently in conservative and hedged positions, still exist at their present size in 13 years I'll be able to produce a very nice income. However, I may also be taxed at 95% of income, so I can't dream happy dreams.

Shells918

I "retired" 3 years ago from a very high stress career. It is a very hard transition and at times I still think about working.

I keep a schedule, both daily and weekly to keep myself focused. I do a lot of cooking that I never had time to do before. I get to work out as long as I want without worrying about getting to work on time.

My house is cleaner than it ever was.

I read 5 books a week at least.

I do crafts.

It's such a different life than I had. I'm still not always used to it, and I still don't always love it, but I don't miss the stress and panic that were my daily companions.

wessx1

Just try to adabt to life circulation ,life is never going to be moving at one direction all your life ,life changes ,humans change, circumstances also change.
Adjust your brain to changes of life and accept each phase of your life how it comes. Yes bordom kills but you can always do useful things and hit back this thought in a positive way.
I earned my MBA because i was once bored and wanted to do something useful.
Lately
whenever i get bored i do trainings,courses n siminars abroad ,i so far have around10 certificates of achievement and participation from accredited International Universities.
Bordom might be a path to change ,you never know.
All the best.

Sandra37405

I retired over 3 years ago from the IRS. Since I really disliked my job (they were paying me to be stupid) I am now happier than ever. I had to make an effort to find friends and activities but it has paid off. My current goal is lose the weight. No excuses. I have no one to take care of but me (and the cats) and I need to do a better job of it.

LaceyBirds

wessx1 wrote: »

I earned my MBA because i was once bored and wanted to do something useful.
Lately
whenever i get bored i do trainings,courses n siminars abroad ,i so far have around10 certificates of achievement and participation from accredited International Universities.
Bordom might be a path to change ,you never know.
All the best.

I think this is a great idea. Go back to school for a certificate course in something you find interesting, or something you never thought you could do, like learn some art skills or a language. It will get you around people of like minds, keep you busy and possibly lead you to another part-time job, who knows. Since you like the outdoors, see if you have a local Audubon chapter in your area that needs volunteers. You could look into being a docent at a museum or some historical site in your area. You could also try local Meet-Up groups to find others to hike, bike and kayak with. There are lots of options of things to do, you just have to seek them out.

brenn24179

minniestar55 wrote: »

I'm having a hard time dealing with my husband's retirement...I'm active & busy but he has turned into a fixture on the sofa except for golf 2x weekly. Driving me insane.

My husband is the same way, goes to McDonalds every morning with the guys. He is happy watching grass grow. I am a little envious, wish I was that contented. Seems like every day I find more stuff to do though, it may take time for some of us.

brenn24179

WELL SOME TIME HAS PASSED, I have been working at a job and it got so stressful, drained me, terrible coworker and I think I have PTSD from the experience I swear. It gave me an attitude adjustment. I like retirement now. Maybe I had to have a crappy job to realize how nice retirement is. No one bossing me around, giving me advice, telling me what to do sounds pretty good right now!

Ming1951

When my husband retired he started mohave health issues, he loved retirement and sat too much. Our plan was to travel and we even bought a rv. While his driving is great handling the rv was uncomfortable, we eventually sold it. I couldn't stand having him home sitting all day so now I help a neighbor here or there with their kids by watching them a few hours so the mom or dad can get some errands done, or catch up on a few oz's if they worked night shift. While I love my husband its kind of hard when you were use to having the house basically to yourself with music up loud while cleaning and he doesn't like that and watches tv. Plus we have an adult daughter that suffered some BP setbacks. Now doing good but unfortunately cannot manage certain things like bills and money management so..that keeps us busy.

murf19

I'd love to give it a try!

pinuplove

Sounds like you may be more of an extrovert who needs social interaction to be happy. I can see how that would make the transition to retirement difficult.

There's nothing wrong with a second career! Find something you're passionate about and dedicate some significant time to it. Animal rescue or pottery or basket weaving or carpentry or making stained glass windows...the sky's the limit! Hell, learn to fly

rybo

Not retired, but have been laid off a little over 4 months...I HATE it. I don't know how I'd ever handle retirement. For a while I was ok, but the past month or so have been horrible.