Love or Respect? Which is more important to you?
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I don't want one without the other in a romantic relationship. What would be the point of being respected but not loved, or vice versa?
It wasn't an either/or question.... no doubt everyone wants both...
Uh, actually it WAS an either/or question...If you had to choose one over the other.. which would you prefer?
Where's your reading comprehension?0 -
Probably respect.0
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I don't want one without the other in a romantic relationship. What would be the point of being respected but not loved, or vice versa?
It wasn't an either/or question.... no doubt everyone wants both...
But it's not even a plausible question... one doesn't exist without the other.
Maybe I didn't ask it in the right way... Heres a quote from the author:
"What is Love and Respect? We believe love best motivates a woman and respect most powerfully motivates a man. Research reveals that during marital conflict a husband most often reacts when feeling disrespected and a wife reacts when feeling unloved. We asked 7,000 people this question: when you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected? 83% of the men said "disrespected." 72% of the women said, "unloved." Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict, and this difference is as different as pink is from blue!"
Oh... I think I see.
But I think if one or the other fades, then it was never love in the first place. Just a foolish judgment call on the parties involved. But then, I must base this on my own experience with marriage.
My husband didn't work and chose to continue abusive habits (i.e. he didn't respect our marriage or the responsibilities he had as head of our household) therefore I did not feel loved. Even though, to this day, he swears he loved me then (and perhaps now).
Looking back, I don't think it was real love. I think we were both just infatuated with the idea of each other, but were too young to know what it really meant to love (meaning respecting each other and the responsibilities of our family).
I don't know if that answered your question at all... I really have trouble separating one from the other.0 -
"Respect" has so many definitions. I don't do 1950's respect in that I listen and obey my husband constantly, but I do respect him as a man even if I don't always treat him with respect (it's ain't always easy). I do always love him but I don't always show case that love either.
In short, weird question is weird.0 -
I don't want one without the other in a romantic relationship. What would be the point of being respected but not loved, or vice versa?
It wasn't an either/or question.... no doubt everyone wants both...
Uh, actually it WAS an either/or question...If you had to choose one over the other.. which would you prefer?
Where's your reading comprehension?
Its one over the other.. not one without the other.0 -
In a LTR I prefer trust to any of those things. Jealousy looks bad on anyone.0
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It's Love for me definitely!
I would love to read that book!0 -
I don't want one without the other in a romantic relationship. What would be the point of being respected but not loved, or vice versa?
It wasn't an either/or question.... no doubt everyone wants both...
Uh, actually it WAS an either/or question...If you had to choose one over the other.. which would you prefer?
Where's your reading comprehension?
Its one over the other.. not one without the other.
But do you see what I'm saying... if I'm not respected, then I don't feel loved.
However, I can be respected without being loved.0 -
Maybe I didn't ask it in the right way... Heres a quote from the author:
"What is Love and Respect? We believe love best motivates a woman and respect most powerfully motivates a man. Research reveals that during marital conflict a husband most often reacts when feeling disrespected and a wife reacts when feeling unloved. We asked 7,000 people this question: when you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected? 83% of the men said "disrespected." 72% of the women said, "unloved." Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict, and this difference is as different as pink is from blue!"
But do they feel unloved and disrespected because they are in a conflict, or are they in a conflict because they are unloved or disrespected? Most of my marital conflicts arise over something stupid (the air conditioning last night for example), not disrespect or feeling unloved.0 -
I don't want one without the other in a romantic relationship. What would be the point of being respected but not loved, or vice versa?
It wasn't an either/or question.... no doubt everyone wants both...
But it's not even a plausible question... one doesn't exist without the other.
Maybe I didn't ask it in the right way... Heres a quote from the author:
"What is Love and Respect? We believe love best motivates a woman and respect most powerfully motivates a man. Research reveals that during marital conflict a husband most often reacts when feeling disrespected and a wife reacts when feeling unloved. We asked 7,000 people this question: when you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected? 83% of the men said "disrespected." 72% of the women said, "unloved." Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict, and this difference is as different as pink is from blue!"
Oh... I think I see.
But I think if one or the other fades, then it was never love in the first place. Just a foolish judgment call on the parties involved. But then, I must base this on my own experience with marriage.
My husband didn't work and chose to continue abusive habits (i.e. he didn't respect our marriage or the responsibilities he had as head of our household) therefore I did not feel loved. Even though, to this day, he swears he loved me then (and perhaps now).
Looking back, I don't think it was real love. I think we were both just infatuated with the idea of each other, but were too young to know what it really meant to love (meaning respecting each other and the responsibilities of our family).
I don't know if that answered your question at all... I really have trouble separating one from the other.
Yea, this is good. I really just wanted to see the validity in his statements... which I would probably need to get in some sort of deep conversation about.. rather than just throwing a general question out there.0 -
I just want a little R-S-P-E-C-T.
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You gotta respect me to love me. Without respect feelings are mere emotions lacking any real significance or choice...respect is the attitude that shows that you have love for someone, that you respect their emotions, their choices, their career etc. Its what separates one night stands and flings from real relationships.0
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I can't imagine spending much time with a partner that didn't have both. It's like asking which is more important to you, your arms or your legs. Sure I could live without either, but why would I when I don't have to?0
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If there's no respect there's no love....
You can respect somebody but not love them, but you cannot love them if you don't respect them (family may be an exception).0 -
I want both but in my experience id honestly rather be respected. People can love you and disrespect you sadly and in my experience when they love you and disrespect you it hurts worse then if they just respected you at one time and now are disrespecting you. If that makes sense lol?0
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You need both, however, I would want the respect, because with respect first and foremost then you are less like to be treated like crap and disrespected.
A person can love you but if they don't respect you, then that to me is where the sh** hits the fan and they feel they can handle you anyway they please
You need both, but the respect needs to be there front and center0 -
I am reading a book about love and respect... and the book says that most men would prefer to feel respected over feeling loved, (Not that they don't want to feel love... just that respect is more important to them) and that women would prefer to feel love over respect. If you had to choose one over the other.. which would you prefer? Your thoughts?
Here is a fact for you...more men fall in love at first sight than a woman does. Maybe respect comes later for them?
Love and respect are one and the same in a relationship, for me anyways.0 -
Just because some person wrote a book doesn't mean it has actual valuable information in it. There are a lot of useless books out there. And I love to read. But, I like good books. And my own life experiences are much more informative to me than this book you are describing.0
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Just because some person wrote a book doesn't mean it has actual valuable information in it. There are a lot of useless books out there. And I love to read. But, I like good books. And my own life experiences are much more informative to me than this book you are describing.
^^ This.
@OP - I really wouldn't put too much credence into this book.0
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