I'm so horribly upset right now!
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I'm so sorry. I've had my heart broken by friends... I'd probably never contact him again after that (and hope his girlfriend dumps him for being an *kitten*!).0
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Sugar_Pill wrote: »Do you think that maybe his gf was nervous about meeting you? Maybe insecure that he has a friend of the female variety he's been so close to for so long- and he is ignorant enough that he thought insulting you would appease her?
As dumb as it sounds- you have to think like a dude.
I 2nd this thought!0 -
kevinf2380 wrote: »That is a ahole thing to say.
Are you guys the type of friends that have discussed personal things before?
I have some friends that are tough love kind of people. They don't say it to be jerks, they say things because no one else has the courage to tell me. Or people think it's too inappropriate to bring up. There are times I need someone to tell me like it is. I'm not saying this was your situation and if the person said it the way you described they could have used more tact.
Tough love, is a private event; no audience!1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I think he is indirectly letting his girlfriend know she needs to lose the poundage since you mention she is heavier than you.
I agree!0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Wait, are you making this up to generate sympathy?? Or are you jealous his girlfriend is prettier but heavier?? Or do you just want a round of happy birthday greetings?!
If the other girl is heavier, why would he say this stuff and also why would he risk your husband kicking his *kitten*??
@rainbowbow
Your cross-sectional analytical skills are needed please. Asap.
< Note to self: Never ever vent here because it's suspicious!0 -
Sugar_Pill wrote: »Do you think that maybe his gf was nervous about meeting you? Maybe insecure that he has a friend of the female variety he's been so close to for so long- and he is ignorant enough that he thought insulting you would appease her?
As dumb as it sounds- you have to think like a dude.
"Think Like a Dude" ?
As a guy, I am deeply offended by this stateme....
wait.
errrr, what are you wearing?0 -
Sugar_Pill wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Sugar_Pill wrote: »Do you think that maybe his gf was nervous about meeting you? Maybe insecure that he has a friend of the female variety he's been so close to for so long- and he is ignorant enough that he thought insulting you would appease her?
As dumb as it sounds- you have to think like a dude.
"Think Like a Dude" ?
As a guy, I am deeply offended by this stateme....
wait.
errrr, what are you wearing?
Your skin as a suit
Not the reply I was expecting.... but I think I can work with it.0 -
It was a douchy thing to say and do. My instinct is to say *kitten* him but if he has never been a douche before and if he has been supportive for 14 years, I might give him a chance. I'd tell him directly just how hurt I was and why. His he reacts and if he does something similar again would determine if the friendship could last.0
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
You really think you can go to a house and call the host fat? If the OP and Co were Chinese or Indian, I will believe for it is cultural. The story script is not very coherent. It's like John Wayne playing Ghenghis Khan or Tom Cruise playing a Samurai and both movies were box office hits.FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Wait, are you making this up to generate sympathy?? Or are you jealous his girlfriend is prettier but heavier?? Or do you just want a round of happy birthday greetings?!
If the other girl is heavier, why would he say this stuff and also why would he risk your husband kicking his *kitten*??
@rainbowbow
Your cross-sectional analytical skills are needed please. Asap.
< Note to self: Never ever vent here because it's suspicious!
If I had the money, I'll cast Leslie Chow from the hangover (what's his name?!) as Abraham Lincoln. I'll make him the best beard. Because I will definitely have some form of audience. This thread is encouraging.
Lies derive from truth! Ed Gein: Fact (truth). Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Fictional (lie) based upon his actions. Sometimes you can't make stuff "entirely" up!0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I am sure some of this is truth. It's woven well. But not quite.FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
You really think you can go to a house and call the host fat? If the OP and Co were Chinese or Indian, I will believe for it is cultural. The story script is not very coherent. It's like John Wayne playing Ghenghis Khan or Tom Cruise playing a Samurai and both movies were box office hits.FridayApril01st2016 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Wait, are you making this up to generate sympathy?? Or are you jealous his girlfriend is prettier but heavier?? Or do you just want a round of happy birthday greetings?!
If the other girl is heavier, why would he say this stuff and also why would he risk your husband kicking his *kitten*??
@rainbowbow
Your cross-sectional analytical skills are needed please. Asap.
< Note to self: Never ever vent here because it's suspicious!
If I had the money, I'll cast Leslie Chow from the hangover (what's his name?!) as Abraham Lincoln. I'll make him the best beard. Because I will definitely have some form of audience. This thread is encouraging.
Lies derive from truth! Ed Gein: Fact (truth). Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Fictional (lie) based upon his truth. Sometimes you can't make stuff "entirely" up!
Friend visited. Girlfriend probably looked better or thinner or bigger and better. OP jealous. All of this happening on a birthday. So spin a story around it. Or maybe I'm a cynic.
No guy in his right mind will say this in the presence of 2 women, given that both are overweight. Too risky. Or he is a grade A urban villain and the two women are kinder than deer.
Fair enough!0 -
I'd tell him how what he said really hurt you and that you didn't think it was necessary for him to bring it up, especially in that way and if he's gonna act like that because he has a girlfriend, I think it would be time to reconsider this friendship. (I felt so bad for you reading that...that really sucks).
I hope you had a great birthday though regardless of that hiccup.1 -
I'da throat punched him.
But please go enjoy your birthday with your husband. Life is too short for that crap!!! BE HAPPY0 -
You are gorgeous, fact. Forget it all and happy birthday to you! Do not think about what you are eating just enjoy your special day. You can work out and count calories tomorrow.0
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MyLadybug2012 wrote: »Today is my 29th birthday and for once it was going really good. Only plans I have going is catching up on some video games, seeing a friend and going out to eat with my husband. Diet wise I have not been doing good but have been walking every night for the past few weeks so at least I'm working out.
I was all excited for my guy friend of 14 years to come over and introduce me to his girlfriend. I was wearing leggings (which I thought flattered me) and a normal shirt. He walks in and 30 seconds later says "I know it is your birthday but I have to say" I thought he was going to make fun of something I was doing or something he saw in my house "You've gotten really fat" I almost burst into tears. His girlfriend was like omg that is so mean and the whole thing got awkward. Now, not being mean at all because I thought she looked great, she is 20-30lbs heavier than me. How did that comment make her feel? Like when people are 100lbs and call themselves disgusting or fat and you're like omg I just want to get down to 130lbs.
I was like we need to change the subject and he tries to back track saying "I'm just saying you haven't been this big.... I mean this size.... in a long time" He saw me a few months ago and I was 5lbs lighter. Why didn't he make that comment then.
Since we have known each other for so long he knows I have body dysmorphic disorder, depression, anxiety and ocd (which is associated to my binge eating). Why the hell would he say these things. His *kitten* isn't built like Batman or anything special. It's not like I'm happy with my size and I plan to stay this size then I would have snapped back with "I love how I look, you can suck it" but I want to lose weight and I've been having such a hard time so it just threw me to rock bottom.
I will have some words for him once I get my thoughts in order and not become so upset but that hurt me so much. I've had strangers call me fat, say I got bigger, or ask if I'm pregnant but hearing it from someone I love really hurt me.
My husband wants to take me out to eat tonight and I don't even want to go I feel like total *kitten*....
I don't like to vent like this on sites but I had to get the rage out.....
Has this happened to you and what have you said?
The only thing I can possibly think of is that he wanted to be sure his girlfriend was not jealous of you so he had to make a statement like that in front of her so she would not think he thought you were attractive....
He sounds like he was being a total jerk and not a good friend of 14 years0 -
He's keeping it real with you. He isn't sugarcoating shiit. I'll translate what he meant "i never seen you this way before you're slacking pick it up girlfriend" you guys can put me on blast but I'm with dude.
This doesn't make any sense though. I mean, unless she asked for his opinion, he doesn't really need to give it. There's no reason to "keep it real" with someone who isn't asking. It really doesn't matter if the friend you haven't seen in awhile has gotten fat, or skinny, or lost all of their hair... you don't really need to say anything.
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DTMFA0
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Hope u go and enjoy dinner with hubby! Hopefully your friend, was not intentionally being a jerk! Talk to him later one on one about it0
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Just from my experience, dudes will call dudes fat, skinny, bald, etc. because they know even if it's true, it's in jest.
But say that to a female, it's usually not going to end well. If this dude didn't know that, I don't think he's going to stay with his GF long IF that is the case.
If we're all being open minded here, we've heard one side of the story. There's usually always 2 sides and somewhere in the middle is the truth.
Not saying it didn't happen. Just saying I reserve judgement of anyone till I got their side.
EDIT: I meant to say "he's NOT going to say with his GF long"
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Sugar_Pill wrote: »Do you think that maybe his gf was nervous about meeting you? Maybe insecure that he has a friend of the female variety he's been so close to for so long- and he is ignorant enough that he thought insulting you would appease her?
As dumb as it sounds- you have to think like a dude.
Speaking as a "dude", this makes the most sense, but his rationalization for saying such a thing is most likely deeply rooted in his sub-conscious mind. Sounds like he was trying to prove to the GF that he is not attracted to you, whether they had discussed it or not. Sadly, many guys don't get the chance to mature much past high school. It's taken me 58 years, and I still say stupid snit all the time, and I still have no idea what i want to be IF I grow up...0 -
The only opinion that counts are yours and your husband's. The rest are excess2
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