340 to 189 Naturally. Or Maybe UNnaturally. Pics.

angieward39

This will be a long post and there are pics at the bottom.


So, let's speak some truth about being over 300 pounds. (or at least my truth):

1. You aren't necessarily crazy about a lot of the photos people take of you so when you DO lose weight, you sometimes have a hard time finding ways to compare your progress.

2. Travelling is hard. Airline seats suck. Bus seats suck. Stair-climbing sucks. Going through turnstiles sucks. Forget amusement parks. Vacations can really be limited based on your mobility and inability to "fit" where the world thinks you need to fit.

3. People will make comments about your body.

4. People will talk to you as if you don't know you are fat by saying things like "large", "plump", or other words that avoid saying the word "fat".

5. Your body will hurt like hell.

6. Even if you really love yourself and love the way you look, you will long to be able to shop for cuter clothes, wear heels, or just find a purse that fits over your large arms.

7. You'll be hungry (even if just mentally) almost all the time.



Now for some truth about being 189 pounds:

1. You might be a little more happy about the way you look in photos but you might not recognize or connect with the thinner version of yourself. You might even feel like a traitor to the woman you were before that you worked so hard to love.

2. Travelling won't be as hard but it will still suck. Your skin won't be as tight and you will be aware of it when you put on a swimsuit. You might decide to say "screw it" and wear the swimsuit anyway. You will be agog that you fit in airline seats, fit through turnstiles, and don't worry that you will break restaurant chairs.

3. People will STILL make comments about your body. Both your old body and your new body. They will assume you've had gastric bypass even if you show them a scar-free stomach.

4. People will talk about your old body in hurtful ways. You will resent the hell out of it.

5. Your body won't hurt as much but there will be lasting damage to your knees or ankles. You might be free of sleep apnea for the first time in 20 years. You'll be able to climb stairs without pain.

6. Even if you really love yourself and love the way you look, you might miss your old coping mechanisms of binging.

7. You'll be hungry (even if just mentally) almost all the time.



How did I lose my weight and how long did it take me?

In October of 2014 I came home from work and found my beloved Golden Retriever dead by the front door. I was so depressed for the next several weeks that I lost 30 pounds in 30 days. After 2 months, I had lost 50 pounds just from crying all the time and not eating and my wife insisted that she was going to have me taken to an inpatient facility if I didn't get my shizz together and start eating. Binging had always been my coping mechanism and I just wasnt doing that behavior anymore to get through my grief.
I decided to make a positive out of the negative and bought a Fitbit, an Aria scale, and started tracking my food here at MFP. I employed the help of friends to keep me on track and got a good weightloss-buddy to check in with every day. I stopped eating meat for the most part, I stopped soda, I stopped a lot of processed food. The weight fell off in huge bursts. I looked up one day and had lost 100 pounds in 6 months and decided to keep going.

It has NOT all been easy or rainbows and kittens. I have lost friendships, my marriage, and have suffered some depression around not being able to recognize myself some days. But for the most part? I'm happy and joyous and feeling connection with my body in ways that mean the world to me.

At my heaviest I weighed around 345 pounds. I'm now between 188 - 199 depending on fluctuations. I still want to lose about 40 more pounds.

quiksylver296

Well done on all of your hard work! I love the honesty in your post.

BigTandthesquatters

Rock on with your bad self. I love your honesty. Very nice post and congrats!

BiggDaddy58

Awesome..just pure awesome! Congrats to you!

RoseTheWarrior

Great job on turning such a sad event into a chance to work on yourself. As you can see, life will always throw curve balls at you. You now know that food isn't the answer to those curve balls. That right there is worth it. Well done on your success so far. I know you'll reach your ultimate goal.

jmbrown090

Congratulations!!! Such an amazing accomplishment.

joans1976

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved doggy! My heart ached for you when I read that.
That being said, you are an awesome human and a true inspiration. I hope you feel very proud of yourself!
Keep on keepin' on!

luluinca

A very insightful and honest post. Congrats on your success and please be proud of yourself.

sunny_girl_tls

Amazing work!! You are a inspiration for me to achieve my goals. Thank you!!

Lovoas

Ain't this the truth. Last year, I was 308lb around November 2015.
Now, I'm 190ish.

I still feel fat, I still feel like the old me, and even see the old me sometimes in the mirror. I can't help it.


Good for you you, though. You've come a long way.


One thing I hate from people is they call me "Lucky" to lose weight. Like... fish where?! I worked hard to lose weight, and work as hard to maintain it.

Laurie6578

All I know is being 273 pounds was hard. It sucked precious energy from my life everyday. I've only lost 37 pounds so far since April 5. Your story helps me see that I can keep going and reach my goals. Thanks for sharing.

Heirgreat

Wow just wow you look amazing great post!

chasitystiff851

Congrats

bright_arrow

Angie You look absolutely beautiful and I am SO PROUD of you, woman, every. single. day.

BABYLILAC

Well done , that's amazing !

mazdauk

Good for you! Keep going, you'll get there. Its not a straight road. I love your honesty.

I started here at 182lb, got down to 140 but felt I looked scrawny in photos, so eased up to 143. I'm currently 150lb (according to the scale this morning) post-vacation, so I know I need to eat less and be a bit firmer with myself over snacks and drinks.

I still feel fat, my belly feels like a big beach ball and when I look in the mirror I see fat legs, fat belly and fat back and my knees still hurt. But I can fit into my clothes without rolls over the top, I can do a zumba class followed by a clubbercise class without keeling over and I do some exercise most mornings before breakfast and try to do some most evenings before dinner.

You look amazing by the way.

judydj1220

awesome*awesome*awesome!!!

elisa123gal

I'd say that was inspirational..but it wasn't … sorry you can't be more glad and proud of yourself. You should be.

griffithm1

So proud of you. You are beautiful...inside and out.

memathmfp

Beautiful woman, before and after. Your post is raw and honest. Thank you for sharing.

2011rocket3touring

You look gorgeous; but I'm so saddened by the loss of the pup.

fatgiraffe2

Amazing work, truly inspirational! I'm really sorry for your loss though

Sarc_Warrior

Wow

CrabbyCancerMama

tears came to my eyes when reading about your dog, we lost ours may 13th. it's one of the hardest things to go through. congratulations on your accomplishments losing weight and keeping it off, it is SO HATE. your story is truly touching, wishing u continued success and blessings

hoyalawya2003

Congrats on your loss, and sympathy for the other losses. You completely nailed for me something I have been feeling, and haven't been able to put into words: "Even if you really love yourself and love the way you look, you might miss your old coping mechanisms of binging." I do miss that coping mechanism. But I've been doing my best to substitute exercise for it, and it does help. And you are completely rocking that outfit in the last pic!

markdolanmoore

You look great, and should be very proud. wish you the best.

Oishii

Amazing transformation! I'm sure some people didn't recognise you straight after!

rebel_26

awesome work. Inspirational writing style as well. Dig the honesty and perspectives as spelled out.

alltheweigh170

I liked your story. Well done on the weight loss!

IremiaRe

Rock that Black Leather, Sister!

I could totally relate to your post. Travelling at 367 was a nightmare. It's much easier now - although I have a way to go before I can rock the black leather dress.

I have to say, I don't feel like a traitor... I feel like I am finding the person that I always was, inside.

My condolences on your pup.

Re

Nightmare_Queen88

Congratulations. You look amazing.