"The Time to Make Fun of the Fat Girl...
Replies
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Thank you for the post. It seems to have made a difference to quite a few people.
My $0.02:
Haters gonna hate. Fortunately, most people aren't straight up asshats, but for those that are it's not going to matter if you're a size 28 or a size 4 - anyone can find something wrong if they're inclined to look for it. (IMO, some women just get cattier the more of a competitor you become)
As an enormously self-conscious person (so I can relate to the gymtimidation), I recommend popping in the earbuds, getting into your motivated head space and remind yourself that this is for you - who cares what anyone else thinks?0 -
Because of him I went from a 16 to an 8 (and I cried in the dressing room when those 8's fit
)
I love those moments when the emotion hits you. This is why you sweat, this is why you push through the pain, and it could never be sweeter. Congrats!0 -
...is not at the gym."
I wonder if some people don't start working out because they are embarrassed, that they are afraid of what people think of them when they are at a gym surrounded by people that have been there for years.
I want to say that in my experience, everyone at the gym is supportive and glad you are there. They may think, "that person has a long way to go." True, those thoughts happen, but that observation is quickly overtaken a thousand-fold by thoughts like, "I am happy they are here. I don't want to seem rude by saying on day 30 that I have noticed they are here nearly every day, and good job." Instead, I just think to myself that, "if they ever need help and I am asked, I will help. If they ever need support, I will be not just be supportive, but a fan."
Fitness is such a universally difficult thing that, I think, the one place you are free from mean critiques is in the gym, or walking/running outside. Everyone is pulling for you in these places. Everyone.
Seriously....I just fell in love with you a little bit here.:blushing:
Me too!
Me three! I've just now gotten to the point where I enjoy working out, and when I see people making the effort, it makes me work even harder. We're all in it together, some are just further along than I.0 -
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...is not at the gym."
I wonder if some people don't start working out because they are embarrassed, that they are afraid of what people think of them when they are at a gym surrounded by people that have been there for years.
I want to say that in my experience, everyone at the gym is supportive and glad you are there. They may think, "that person has a long way to go." True, those thoughts happen, but that observation is quickly overtaken a thousand-fold by thoughts like, "I am happy they are here. I don't want to seem rude by saying on day 30 that I have noticed they are here nearly every day, and good job." Instead, I just think to myself that, "if they ever need help and I am asked, I will help. If they ever need support, I will be not just be supportive, but a fan."
Fitness is such a universally difficult thing that, I think, the one place you are free from mean critiques is in the gym, or walking/running outside. Everyone is pulling for you in these places. Everyone.
You brought tears to my eyes; I REALLY needed to read this. These very fears kept me away from the gym for so long. I have just recently started walking/jogging at the gyms outside trail. I feel so good when i'm there but still find myself wondering if people are paying attention. Thank you for writing this!0 -
I really enjoy this post. And well it's the way I like to live my life.
I love my gym, I love going there, I love everybody I see working hard to attain a goal just like myself. And quite honestly I don't care what their current physical shape is.
They are there just like me.
I don't care what you lift, I don't care if you don't sweat, I don't care if you wear make up, don't care if you grunt, don't care if you weight 5x my weight.
To me the gym is like my church(I hope that offends nobody) and so... anybody else there.. well it's a beautiful thing.
Just lay off on the cologne.
My personal theory is people who run through life hating everybody and mocking everybody.... well their lives just plain suck and they are trying to seem big however they can.0 -
Dear OP,
Your post is lovely. Too bad your prior posts reek of self-importance and general doucheyness.
Love,
A "pudgie" who you didn't make "love" to.0 -
Dear OP,
Your post is lovely. Too bad your prior posts reek of self-importance and general doucheyness.
Love,
A "pudgie" who you didn't make "love" to.
Why do people think that if you are harsh once you are always a grey unpolished stone? Stones can be good. Think of King Arthur. Rocks built camelot as surely as aspiration, hard work, and a poet's turn of phrase. Without the stone there is no sword. Without love there are no loyal followers willing to pile those rocks high for a better kingdom. Without poets there is no dream of a round table. I appreciate all the comments here.
But wrong and right are not the same as rough and easy. We all are both in some ways.
None of us is Camelot.
Please focus on the point of this post, which is to honestly support each other. Not in a fake way. Not to say, "we care keep trying," but in a real world acknowledgment that when you work hard, others work with you, not against. When you push and pull for the right reasons, not one person is pulling against you...not even the stone.0 -
Dear OP,
Your post is lovely. Too bad your prior posts reek of self-importance and general doucheyness.
Love,
A "pudgie" who you didn't make "love" to.
Why do people think that if you are harsh once you are always a grey unpolished stone? Stones can be good. Think of King Arthur. Rocks built camelot as surely as aspiration, hard work, and a poet's turn of phrase. Without the stone there is no sword. Without love there are no loyal followers willing to pile those rocks high for a better kingdom. Without poets there is no dream of a round table. I appreciate all the comments here.
But wrong and right are not the same as rough and easy. We all are both in some ways.
None of us is Camelot.
Please focus on the point of this post, which is to honestly support each other. Not in a fake way. Not to say, "we care keep trying," but in a real world acknowledgment that when you work hard, others work with you, not against. When you push and pull for the right reasons, not one person is pulling against you...not even then stone.
❤0 -
Just to be clear.....
Is this one of those posts to encourage unfit people to use the gym, or is this one of those posts where a fit person patronises the hell out of unfit people and then gives themselves a big old round of self-congratulationary applause for taking the time out to be nice to those poor, little fat folk?0 -
Neither. To explain the atmosphere at my gym, and I expect most gyms. People are supportive if you give them the chance to be.Just to be clear.....
Is this one of those posts to encourage unfit people to use the gym, or is this one of those posts where a fit person patronises the hell out of unfit people and then gives themselves a big old round of self-congratulationary applause for taking the time out to be nice to those poor, little fat folk?0 -
To answer your question, it's because you only get one chance to make a first impression. And a first impression is a lasting one, usually imprinted on one's memory indefinitely.Dear OP,
Your post is lovely. Too bad your prior posts reek of self-importance and general doucheyness.
Love,
A "pudgie" who you didn't make "love" to.
Why do people think that if you are harsh once you are always a grey unpolished stone? Stones can be good. Think of King Arthur. Rocks built camelot as surely as aspiration, hard work, and a poet's turn of phrase. Without the stone there is no sword. Without love there are no loyal followers willing to pile those rocks high for a better kingdom. Without poets there is no dream of a round table. I appreciate all the comments here.
But wrong and right are not the same as rough and easy. We all are both in some ways.
None of us is Camelot.
Please focus on the point of this post, which is to honestly support each other. Not in a fake way. Not to say, "we care keep trying," but in a real world acknowledgment that when you work hard, others work with you, not against. When you push and pull for the right reasons, not one person is pulling against you...not even the stone.
The sentiment of the post is nice, but I'm sure a lot of people won't take much to heart because of your past behaviors.0 -
To answer your question, it's because you only get one chance to make a first impression. And a first impression is a lasting one, usually imprinted on one's memory indefinitely.Dear OP,
Your post is lovely. Too bad your prior posts reek of self-importance and general doucheyness.
Love,
A "pudgie" who you didn't make "love" to.
Why do people think that if you are harsh once you are always a grey unpolished stone? Stones can be good. Think of King Arthur. Rocks built camelot as surely as aspiration, hard work, and a poet's turn of phrase. Without the stone there is no sword. Without love there are no loyal followers willing to pile those rocks high for a better kingdom. Without poets there is no dream of a round table. I appreciate all the comments here.
But wrong and right are not the same as rough and easy. We all are both in some ways.
None of us is Camelot.
Please focus on the point of this post, which is to honestly support each other. Not in a fake way. Not to say, "we care keep trying," but in a real world acknowledgment that when you work hard, others work with you, not against. When you push and pull for the right reasons, not one person is pulling against you...not even the stone.
The sentiment of the post is nice, but I'm sure a lot of people won't take much to heart because of your past behaviors.
Eck.0 -
I never stepped foot in a gym before because of how overweight I was. I felt like I was a lost cause and that people would just laugh at me.0
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I wish I felt comfortable enough to go to the gym, but whenever I do and I'm working out really hard, I turn BRIGHT red. Practically a walking tomato and definitely get a lot of stares. I've always turned bright red when working out though, even when I was less heavy... still not a pretty sight and I always get "ARE YOU OKAY?! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU MIGHT PASS OUT!"0
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Not true. Believe me.I never stepped foot in a gym before because of how overweight I was. I felt like I was a lost cause and that people would just laugh at me.0 -
There are worse things to be than a walking tornado. Things are happening in tornadoes. Wind and earth and weather are colliding and the sun is shouting jealously at the clouds it cannot see through. Interesting.I wish I felt comfortable enough to go to the gym, but whenever I do and I'm working out really hard, I turn BRIGHT red. Practically a walking tomato and definitely get a lot of stares. I've always turned bright red when working out though, even when I was less heavy... still not a pretty sight and I always get "ARE YOU OKAY?! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU MIGHT PASS OUT!"
Or you could be a walking barnacle. Now that would be sad.0 -
lol tomato, not tornado.
Although, I'm sure my hair looks like it after a workout as well. 0 -
Oops.lol tomato, not tornado. Although, I'm sure my hair looks like it after a workout as well.
There are worse thing to be than a walking tomato. Tomatoes are bright and summer and the color of blush, and the envy of potatoes everywhere.
You could be a potato. Now that is sad.0 -
Not true. Believe me.I never stepped foot in a gym before because of how overweight I was. I felt like I was a lost cause and that people would just laugh at me.
So NOT true! I am a gym rat, and I love to see people of any size giving it their all. I would never judge anyone for making the effort. At my gym, there are people of all sizes, ages, etc., and no one there is perfect. There is nothing to be afraid of at the gym. Just go and do your thing and don't worry about others.0 -
I have heard horror stories of bigger people being taunted while running in public, and I admit it makes me self-conscious, since I just started running myself. But when I see bigger people working out and really putting effort into it, I'm always excited and happy for them.0
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...is not at the gym."
I wonder if some people don't start working out because they are embarrassed, that they are afraid of what people think of them when they are at a gym surrounded by people that have been there for years.
I want to say that in my experience, everyone at the gym is supportive and glad you are there. They may think, "that person has a long way to go." True, those thoughts happen, but that observation is quickly overtaken a thousand-fold by thoughts like, "I am happy they are here. I don't want to seem rude by saying on day 30 that I have noticed they are here nearly every day, and good job." Instead, I just think to myself that, "if they ever need help and I am asked, I will help. If they ever need support, I will be not just be supportive, but a fan."
Fitness is such a universally difficult thing that, I think, the one place you are free from mean critiques is in the gym, or walking/running outside. Everyone is pulling for you in these places. Everyone.
brilliant very proud of you!0 -
I took a huge step today. Instead of being a coward and not attempting squats because I had only done them once (with a trainer who was awesome enough to show me around this new gym), I asked a couple muscly guys who were lifting some heavy dumbbells if they could check my form to make sure I was doing things right. They were so encouraging and nice, and a couple more even joined in our conversations. One even told me I'm a natural, haha. I told them I was pretty intimidated and felt awkward at first, but that they were awesome and thanked them for making me feel so comfortable I tend to have a lot of social anxiety, but I'm glad that I'm finally able to push it aside on occasion and that today was one of those occasions! 0
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...is not at the gym."
I wonder if some people don't start working out because they are embarrassed, that they are afraid of what people think of them when they are at a gym surrounded by people that have been there for years.
I want to say that in my experience, everyone at the gym is supportive and glad you are there. They may think, "that person has a long way to go." True, those thoughts happen, but that observation is quickly overtaken a thousand-fold by thoughts like, "I am happy they are here. I don't want to seem rude by saying on day 30 that I have noticed they are here nearly every day, and good job." Instead, I just think to myself that, "if they ever need help and I am asked, I will help. If they ever need support, I will be not just be supportive, but a fan."
Fitness is such a universally difficult thing that, I think, the one place you are free from mean critiques is in the gym, or walking/running outside. Everyone is pulling for you in these places. Everyone.
Couldn't have said it better my man!!0 -
Why do people think that if you are harsh once you are always a grey unpolished stone? Stones can be good.
Consider the stone
Think of King Arthur. Rocks built camelot as surely as aspiration, hard work, and a poet's turn of phrase. Without the stone there is no sword. Without love there are no loyal followers willing to pile those rocks high for a better kingdom. Without poets there is no dream of a round table. I appreciate all the comments here.
Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right
The leaves upon her falling light
Thro' the noises of the night
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.
I think I'd have gone for a pyramid on the rock analogy - unlike Camelot, they're real *grin*.
But on the point of the thread, its title says that the time not to make fun of a fat girl is when she's engaged in a public show of 'hard work' to change her ways. That implies, to me at least, two things:
1. That it's fine to poke fun at a fat girl if she's not currently engaged in some public display of physical activity.
and
2. That physical activity alone = hard work, which I find a bit odd when the thing most responsible for getting weight off is diet, not exercise. The fat girl who isn't at the gym but who is rigidly sticking to a calorie deficit is also working hard, it's just not as visible to the critical masses.
That said, you turn a good phrase0 -
The helpful ones are few and far between at my gym. I've found myself being rude, at least in thoughts anyway, because some cloths are just inappropriate for public, for any weight size. Looking forward to winter when they start wearing clothes again and the strip show stays at the gentleman's club instead of the gym.0
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Oops.lol tomato, not tornado. Although, I'm sure my hair looks like it after a workout as well.
There are worse thing to be than a walking tomato. Tomatoes are bright and summer and the color of blush, and the envy of potatoes everywhere.
You could be a potato. Now that is sad.
*snort*0 -
Reading the majority of this has really restored my faith in that people are genuinely good. I always felt self conscious at the gym (I just use my stuff at home now) and I wasn't even ever that big to begin with. But I was very out of shape and I have asthma so I was extremely self conscious of having to get off the treadmill or track after 15 minutes because I couldn't breathe anymore.0
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This is my experience, even at a really big chain. I always felt supported while working out, and I am obese. I will say though I have seen more than one situation where some people are so self conscious that someone glancing at them while working out is suddenly perceived as a glare, or people talking and laughing while working out is about them. It is sad to see.0
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Fail!0
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