Anyone have any good jokes? I'd like a good laugh right about now. T

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  • DarlingNikki2011
    DarlingNikki2011 Posts: 287 Member
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    Intrinsicat wrote: »
    A duck walks into a bar and someone yells "Hey! Your pants are down!"

    It's a horrible joke but I love it.

    How stupid will I feel when I finally get it? Hmmmm.....
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
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    DetroitDarin wrote: »
    What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

    LOL!
  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
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    jhmomofmany wrote: »
    I went to the worst zoo in the world. There was only one exhibit with a dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu.

    Im useing that haha
  • Cintirich
    Cintirich Posts: 22 Member
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    What did the snail say when it got on the turtle's back?

    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

    Be sure to tip the waitstaff on the way out. :)
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,232 Member
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    What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
    One less drunken Irishman
  • LessofBrian
    LessofBrian Posts: 44 Member
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    Two snakes are slithering along.

    Snake #1..."Hey, are we poisonous?"

    Snake #2..."I don't think so."

    Snake #1..."Oh good, 'cause I just bit my tongue."
  • rps67
    rps67 Posts: 163 Member
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    These are my two very favorite jokes.

    What's brown and sticky?
















    A stick.


    What's brown and rhymes with snoop?















    Dr. Dre.
  • Timothyh27
    Timothyh27 Posts: 251 Member
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    jhmomofmany wrote: »
    I went to the worst zoo in the world. There was only one exhibit with a dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu.

    What do you get if you cross a shih tzu with a bull dog....
  • druidkat7
    druidkat7 Posts: 691 Member
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    Okay, let me see if I can add a few...here are three classics from a favorite movie of mine. (Can you guess which movie?)

    1. Michael: "I know a man with a wooden leg named 'Smith"
    Jane: "What's the name of his other leg?"
    (it took me most of my life until I actually understood that joke!!!!!)


    2. Person A: I've got a cousin who works in a watch factory.
    Person B: What does he do?
    Person A: He sits around all day and makes faces!

    3. A man walks up to a woman's door and knocks. She answers, and the man says, "I'm sorry ma'am, I just ran over your cat. I'd be willing to replace it." The woman says, "That's all very well and good, but how are you at catching mice?"

    Here are some others:

    1. What do you call a former vice president doing mathematics to a rock music beat?
    Al-gore-rhythm

    2. A shapeshifting canine kept getting stuck in someone's clothes-washing machine. His new nickname?
    "Wash-n-werewolf."

    3. A kid was home sick from school and fell behind in her classwork. Just in case, the doctor recommended the kid stay home for another day or two, so the mom went to go get the assignments from the teacher. Upon returning home, she said, "Honey, here's your makeup work. If you're feeling better, get started on it." The little girl goes to the bathroom, and is in there for quite some time. Her mother knocks on the door, saying, "Are you okay?" The girl answers, "I'm fine."
    Mom: "Then why are you taking so long?" (opens the door, horrified to see the girl's face covered in her mother's eyeshadow, mascara, etc) "What the heck did you do that for?!"
    Kid: "Well, you said it was 'makeup' homework."
  • semic
    semic Posts: 1 Member
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    Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
    The wedding was terrible...

    But the reception was AWESOME!
  • Erika2011MaBelleFille
    Erika2011MaBelleFille Posts: 75 Member
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    semic wrote: »
    Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
    The wedding was terrible...

    But the reception was AWESOME!

    Awsome.
  • chrisg676
    chrisg676 Posts: 39 Member
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    What was Bruce Lee's favourite drink?

    WATAAAAAA!!!!

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