Newly Single -- Advice?

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  • jimbaldwin1972
    jimbaldwin1972 Posts: 9 Member
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    I was married 9 1/2 yrs and divorced 2 yrs now from ex. I've tried to move on but instead of finding a relationship. I found women only wanted me to pay for things for them.. So trust level down and to a point I don't care to get into another relationship. Focus on your self and what makes you happy.. If need a relationship get a dog or cat.. They are cheaper to be with..
  • suvoth
    suvoth Posts: 927 Member
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    bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »
    The best thing that I have done during/after a breakup is honestly focus on myself. Really dive into your fitness goals. Keep busy by working out and preparing and cooking meals. Learn the hobbies and activities that you may be interested in on your own...maybe you'll really love a dance class, or maybe you'll really take an interest in reading. You can heal yourself and start a new chapter without your ex husband, that will be just as wonderful and rewarding as the last :)

    Thank you :)
  • suvoth
    suvoth Posts: 927 Member
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    jimbaldwin1972 wrote: »
    I was married 9 1/2 yrs and divorced 2 yrs now from ex. I've tried to move on but instead of finding a relationship. I found women only wanted me to pay for things for them.. So trust level down and to a point I don't care to get into another relationship. Focus on your self and what makes you happy.. If need a relationship get a dog or cat.. They are cheaper to be with..

    I'm sorry that you've had a pretty bad few years :( I am not looking for a relationship so I won't have to worry about that..and I do have my dog..so there is that I guess lol
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    My boyfriend of three years and I just broke up a week ago, so I'm seriously feeling your pain. (Although I imagine it's different when you've been with someone your whole adult life.) So far I've made time for friends, family, and myself. And I've gone to a couple of fun sounding meetups just so I don't sit home and think about how everything went wrong over and over. I'm also focusing on all of the good things about the end of the relationship. Add me if you want!
  • suvoth
    suvoth Posts: 927 Member
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    SoDamnHungry wrote: »
    My boyfriend of three years and I just broke up a week ago, so I'm seriously feeling your pain. (Although I imagine it's different when you've been with someone your whole adult life.) So far I've made time for friends, family, and myself. And I've gone to a couple of fun sounding meetups just so I don't sit home and think about how everything went wrong over and over. I'm also focusing on all of the good things about the end of the relationship. Add me if you want!

    Aww I'm sorry you're going through it too :( Still a long term relationship so I imagine the pain is the same. I'm going to try to get out of my comfort zone I think and go out and live a bit...maybe I'll go to a club..lol I haven't been to one in at least 10 years (yep, lame, I know)
  • suvoth
    suvoth Posts: 927 Member
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    jaxass wrote: »
    Do you have kids? If you do, put your focus on them (and rebuilding you) instead of another. They will appreciate it more than you can possibly fathom. If you don't have kids, then all your focus should be on rebuilding you, one small step at a time.

    Being single isn't a life sentence. It's a life experience. So use this time for yourself. You'll be happy with the results a little later.

    I wish you the best.

    Sorry I missed your comment. Yeah, no kids. I will try to help this make me stronger. Thank you for your kind words.
  • aloranger7708
    aloranger7708 Posts: 422 Member
    edited August 2016
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    I know everyone copes in different ways. When I left a long term relationship, I stayed single for a long time and didn't even think of dating. I focused on myself and that's when I lost the first 60lbs using MFP. I was going to the gym every day and looked amazing (if I do say so myself lol)! I was the happiest I had ever been and really took the time to get to know myself... tried a ton of new things, went to new places, met new friends, found a new job, etc. I wasn't even planning on dating when I randomly met my now-husband, but it just clicked and worked out! So yeah, I'd suggest not even looking at a new relationship for a while and to focus on you and you alone :)
  • suvoth
    suvoth Posts: 927 Member
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    aloranger7708 wrote: »
    I know everyone copes in different ways. When I left a long term relationship, I stayed single for a long time and didn't even think of dating. I focused on myself and that's when I lost the first 60lbs using MFP. I was going to the gym every day and looked amazing (if I do say so myself lol)! I was the happiest I had ever been and really took the time to get to know myself... tried a ton of new things, went to new places, met new friends, found a new job, etc. I wasn't even planning on dating when I randomly met my now-husband, but it just clicked and worked out!

    That's awesome. I'm glad to hear it :) thanks

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