I HATE victims

Neanbean13

I hate the victim mentality.
Previously being one its one trait I can't stand in others.
If you're kind of motivation and support needed is for someone to let you know when you are being a whiny little b$tch and need a good verbal kick up the *kitten*, feel free to add me!
I know we live in a world now where everyone gets insulted from every little thing, but if you are NOT one of those people lets do this!
(I'm fully prepared for no one to comment, read or add me but that's ok some people need a tissue to cry into and pat on the back to constantly tell them 'you got this' when they keep falling off wagon)

gillie80

half the time i feel i'm hopping along behind the wagon, one foot on, one foot off lol. i wouldn't feel offended if you kicked me in the... i'm scottish, we're thick skinned haha.

RoxieDawn

I read this and honestly I do not know what to say about it at the moment. It sort of sounded really really harsh, and a total lack of empathy.. but at the same time I understand this too. I am interested in how others will respond..

refuseresist

Putting 'I hate victims' is possibly not what you meant in your first post.

DetroitDarin

^^ Yup. Self-induced victims? yeah - that makes more sense.

I don't hate anyone; even self-induced victims. I don't hate them because they are broken - not worthless.

Sued0nim

Everybody dislikes the victim mentality in others

Very few recognise it in themselves

Everyone has it to some degree

I'm fairly straight forward and don't take and try not to make excuses, I think that's due to my inate personality and my professional career. I am not touchy-feely (well I am physically but not emotionally) and would rather pointedly joke or snipe someone out of self obsession than over sympathise in that sycophantic disneyfied way ..I am now officially too old to care

You'd have liked it round here a few years back there were a lot of intelligent straight shooters...they were the people who made a difference to my psyche and made me actually succeed at this cos they made me think, self analyse and pull my bloody socks up and get over myself. They have disappeared, or been disappeared, unfortunately and we appear to be left with rising derp. If I came on board now I wouldn't find it as useful as I did and may not have changed enough to be successful

dizzieblondeuk

Whether people agree with that it's a victim complex, or that it's people simply stating their situation in life, will have a vast mileage difference. Let's be clear here, if you're talking about a victim mentality towards your weight, that's one thing, and I suspect most people will agree there's no place to be a victim to your own weight, unless it's specifically disease/health indicated. But that's the internal, there can frequently be external problems in peoples' lives that manifest themselves in weight gain, poor health (mental and physical) or lack of motivation - and dismissing everyone who grumbles about things as having a 'victim complex', isn't particularly helpful to anyone, save the accuser, who gets to feel superior for a while.

Some people have incredibly difficult lives, and message boards (or similar) are often the only place where the grinding toil of those lives can be verbalised. I know many people who are stoic and brave, and never talk publicly about their problems - that doesn't mean there shouldn't a more private place for those people to do that. Sometimes, that place may well be these message boards - under the heading 'Motivation and SUPPORT'! Just sayin'!! Plus, hate is a very strong word - I'd be inclined to believe the attitude towards victims (whether actual or attitude) says more about that person, than the people their hatred is directed towards. Tough love can be, well, tough but effective, and I tend to think that can be most effective coming from our loved ones, not strangers at the other end of a keyboard. That's just my opinion. I like positivity in people, and positive people rarely tend towards victimhood, but I'm not prepared to condemn people wholesale just because their philosophy on life doesn't match mine!

LazSommer

Hatred burns more calories.

Francl27

That's one of those things that you really shouldn't generalize...

ambalam

Lol hey I enjoy your honesty. I'm semi-mean to my bf when I need to be. Give him a kick in the butt. Well I think it's honesty. He thinks I'm mean. But he loves me for not beating around the bush. And generally I'm nice to make up for it.

As far as the victim mindset well that's something one must see and get over if they're going to change themselves. Drug addicts, food addicts. Alcoholics. I've known "victims" and usually that doesn't change. But I'm cynical lol. And don't quite get it Bc I've got a guilt complex. Somehow it's my fault Donald trump is running for president, etc. watched one too many apprentices Bc Gary busey was in it. Gave him good ratings so he figured he could lead America. This is all my fault

TechOutside

Just please stop with the politics ambalam, not everyone agrees with you and I wouldn't want to ruin the thread.

The world was made by people who pull themselves up, or have had someone kick them in the tail when they needed it. There are a few exceptions, but in general the failure to success rate is typically high when you want to suceed at anything. You have to accept the failure as a path to success, in my humble opinon.

I talk to myself as brutal as one can get, but that is how I am wired, not everyone can pull themselves up by themselves. I respect brutal honesty, I want to know if I am being a dumb*ss, hey, it happens to all of us at some points.

dereklsilva

No one wants to be accountable for their own actions anymore

mbaker566

ambalam wrote: »

As far as the victim mindset well that's something one must see and get over if they're going to change themselves. Drug addicts, food addicts. Alcoholics. I've known "victims" and usually that doesn't change. But I'm cynical lol.

yes and those with diabetes and other disorders, they should stop being victims and just get over it too. sigh

gothchiq

That's okay, I'll beat myself up lol, assistance is not needed. I'm pretty neurotic XD

Fursian

Yeah, I'm gonna agree with the person above, and don't think you meant this title for your post (I find it bizarre, given what you went on to say in your post..) -- Anyway, many people here 'appreciate' those who 'give it to them straight', so I very much doubt you're alone here.

smile_laughter

I, too, cannot stand the victim card so many people pull now a days. As an instructor, my students are constantly making excuses for things that happen. Some are legit, but most are just whiny excuses. My favorite students are my veterans....they own up to mistakes and work that may not get turned in. Where I advise you to be careful is calling people victims in the "motivational" section of MFP. I do not have Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or any other social media. I don't like the "talk about me" society we have become. About two weeks ago, I had a break down in my head with finally needing to admit that I have a major sugar problem. For the first time in my life, I reached out to social media looking for some kind of support. I take care of my family, home, work 50+ hours a week, so this was a big deal for me to ask for help. The first post I receive back is from Neanbean13 calling me a victim. I almost deleted my MFP account out of pure anger and wishing I never reached out for support from others. Luckily, others reached out, and I have a few MFP friends that have provided some kind of encouragement. I do appreciate honesty and being forward, but sometimes......how it's done and to whom it is done to may not be the best moment in that person's life at that particular time.

Now - my head is in a better place and my reality of wanting hard feedback and criticism of choices I make can handle Neanbean13's honesty. If interested, I'd like to be MFP friends. I could use an up front, forward and honest person in my group. I don't make the best food choices, but they are better than 2 weeks ago, and I am down 5 lbs.

Neanbean13

Loving the replies!

Therealobi1

You got this, you can do this

DeficitDuchess

I dislike reverse psychology!

ambalam

Hey TechOutside. Just being honest. You don't have to like it. But I think it's arrogant to assume everyone feels the same way you do. Not saying everyone has to agree w me either, just don't censor me. It's a basic human right to speak one's mind. I don't mind if your opinion differs, that's on you. You do you. Sorry not sorry i guess. Hope it gets better for you.

Francl27

I don't like people who make excuses for everything either. But some people ARE victims and such a blank statement shows a complete lack of empathy.