how do you feel about contructive criticism ...

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  • wswilliams67
    wswilliams67 Posts: 938 Member
    It depends on the subject and who is doing the criticism.

    Unqualified criticisms get the /facepalm from me.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Criticism is constructive based on your perception of it. If someone comes up to me & says, "Ciera, you look fat", I can either get insecure & feel like someone is out to get me, or I can say, "hmmm...am I off my game? Is this person pointing out that my body is changing in a negative way despite the way it was said?" I am not so sensitive that everything said without a smile or opposite of what I believe is an attack on who I am.

    Basically, people can say whatever they want. It's up to the me to choose how i receive it. But I'm not very sensitive to many things. My best friend says, "Don't ever ask me if you look fat in clothes. If you look fat, it's because you didn't buy it in the right size." I wholeheartedly agree with that level of realness.
    this is so true^^

    Maybe i'm not very sensitive - but I think that most people (ok, some people) really *do* mean well. those who don't - i don't care about them. I tend to think about the underlying message of *what* they are saying, not the method of delivery. so even if it may be coming across a bit tacky, i think about what they said ("are they saying I gained weight? are they saying i should get new clothing because everything is baggy?")

    At the same time, i'd much rather people be open and upfront and not tip toe around the issue. if you think i should do X or not eat Y, then just say so or shut up. Don't start beating around the bush with all the "you know i read a study that was done on lab rats in timbukto, and it seems that when you put red dye in their food they eat less of it.. hmmm i wonder if that would work for people?"
  • rebamay87
    rebamay87 Posts: 103 Member
    I feel constructive criticism a skill some people have and some people don't... Myself.. depending on the topic and how i feel about the person, my skills in such areas are low - self admittedly so I tend to not offer anything unless I'm asked directly.

    Other people speaking to me? I can recognise when someone is not INTENDING to be insulting or unkind, doesn't stop me from feeling offended at their stupid comment though. But as I said, its all in the selling, if you have the right tone and phrases generally I think people are more likely to take your comments on board. For example:

    "Do you REALLY think you need to get ANY smaller? You are fine the way you are.. if you get any smaller you'll be too skinny..." <--- No one likes this ****, if I've been working my *kitten* off for fricken months/years to get where I am going, I don't need some well meaning person undermining my efforts.

    "Wow.. You look amazing! What a great job you've done - you want to get smaller? Awesome - do you think you'll do that in small stages and reassess as you go? That way you're more likely to know in yourself when you're at the 'right size' for you.." <--- This.. to me has a similar message to the comment above but isn't insulting. They are offering advice, encouraging you to keep trying and to trust YOUR idea of what works.. because as many of us know, a top down approach which includes putting down/belittling the persons efforts/goals is rubbish in getting people to take on board what you've said.. which - ultimately is what Constructive Criticism is about.
  • rebamay87
    rebamay87 Posts: 103 Member
    I feel constructive criticism a skill some people have and some people don't... Myself.. depending on the topic and how i feel about the person, my skills in such areas are low - self admittedly so I tend to not offer anything unless I'm asked directly.

    Other people speaking to me? I can recognise when someone is not INTENDING to be insulting or unkind, doesn't stop me from feeling offended at their stupid comment though. But as I said, its all in the selling, if you have the right tone and phrases generally I think people are more likely to take your comments on board. For example:

    "Do you REALLY think you need to get ANY smaller? You are fine the way you are.. if you get any smaller you'll be too skinny..." <--- No one likes this ****, if I've been working my *kitten* off for fricken months/years to get where I am going, I don't need some well meaning person undermining my efforts.

    "Wow.. You look amazing! What a great job you've done - you want to get smaller? Awesome - do you think you'll do that in small stages and reassess as you go? That way you're more likely to know in yourself when you're at the 'right size' for you.." <--- This.. to me has a similar message to the comment above but isn't insulting. They are offering advice, encouraging you to keep trying and to trust YOUR idea of what works.. because as many of us know, a top down approach which includes putting down/belittling the persons efforts/goals is rubbish in getting people to take on board what you've said.. which - ultimately is what Constructive Criticism is about.

    Lol, I spoke to my husband about this, (he's lost 40kgs and I've lost 44) and he says.. when it comes to weight loss there is either support or being a **** - there is no such thing as constructive criticism when it comes to weight loss...

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