My heart has shattered

meredithgir199 · August 2016

Sometimes you have to let what you love go and if it's meant to be it will work out. Sounds like you're still young (going off to college or currently in school) and have a lot to experience! It sounds like he may be using this as an excuse but none of us really know. I dated my husband for a year and he broke it off with me. I was devastated! No contact at all during our break-up, except for a couple of drunk booty call attempts on his end. Then another year later he begged for me to take him back. We went on to date for 3 more years before marrying, now celebrating 16 years of marriage.

melmelw03 · August 2016

Ugh. This is hitting very close to home for me. Just went through this a month ago. I'm still shattered, and everything is so complicated because mine was my best friend before, and still is now. Ultra complicated. I wish I could hate him and cut him off and move on.....I can't. Nothing's changed, but everything has changed. It's not healthy for me to hang on, but when you love someone that hard, you don't just walk.
I'm still conflicted. Even though I'm trying to move forward.
I'm still stuck.
It's draining.
I'm sorry I have no cool advice to give.

salembambi · August 2016

welll i dated an alcoholic for 6 years and a drug addict before that

its really hard when they are your best friend and also your love ..to let it go

still working on the letting go but it does get easier it gets a lot easier to try to move on, you will meet other people (telling myself this as well)

dragon_girl26 · August 2016

km8907 wrote: »

Honestly, as I was reading this it felt like it was going to end with him killing himself. I just lost a client to suicide and she was an alcoholic that pushed everyone out of her life near the end. That being said, don't let him push you away so easily. Help him get help and let him know you're there for him no matter what. If it was just a break up, you'll feel an attitude change soon, but if he's really in a bad place though, you did everything you could.

Hornsby wrote: »

Let him go unless you are willing to commit to that life. And before you say you are willing to commit to an alcoholic for life, you better know what that entails.

In my opinion, your too young to get caught up in that.

I agree with these. I would also add...if he's needing to get help for his problem, maybe it really is best for him to end the romantic part of your relationship so he can focus on getting himself together. My best friend from high school had a situation like this where her fiance was a drug addict. He always tried to work on his problems, and was in and out of rehab, but he always kept going back to the drugs. In the end, he stole a bunch of money from her and overdosed (fatally) on Oxycontin, and it absolutely devastated her emotionally and financially. Definitely be there for him if he needs you, but take this time to be his friend without trying to make it something more. He says it's over; as hard as it is, respect his decision and take him at his word. Not doing so may prolong your pain in the end. If it's meant to be, it will be, but see this as his gift to you. He loved you enough not to bring you down, too.

melmelw03 · August 2016

dragon_girl26 wrote: »

km8907 wrote: »

Honestly, as I was reading this it felt like it was going to end with him killing himself. I just lost a client to suicide and she was an alcoholic that pushed everyone out of her life near the end. That being said, don't let him push you away so easily. Help him get help and let him know you're there for him no matter what. If it was just a break up, you'll feel an attitude change soon, but if he's really in a bad place though, you did everything you could.

Hornsby wrote: »

Let him go unless you are willing to commit to that life. And before you say you are willing to commit to an alcoholic for life, you better know what that entails.

In my opinion, your too young to get caught up in that.

I agree with these. I would also add...if he's needing to get help for his problem, maybe it really is best for him to end the romantic part of your relationship so he can focus on getting himself together. My best friend from high school had a situation like this where her fiance was a drug addict. He always tried to work on his problems, and was in and out of rehab, but he always kept going back to the drugs. In the end, he stole a bunch of money from her and overdosed (fatally) on Oxycontin, and it absolutely devastated her emotionally and financially. Definitely be there for him if he needs you, but take this time to be his friend without trying to make it something more. He says it's over; as hard as it is, respect his decision and take him at his word. Not doing so may prolong your pain in the end. If it's meant to be, it will be, but see this as his gift to you. He loved you enough not to bring you down, too.

This literally made tears come to my eyes. As with my situation.....no one stopped loving the other.
I love him.
He loves me.
But it's not that simple.

jensenbutton · January 2017

KarlyHK wrote: »

My heart is shattered and I'm struggling to stay a float.

Then he said "I need to say something and I need you to really listen and understand"
He said our relationship is unhealthy because he is holding me back from my potential... He said he loves me more than anyone. That he doesn't want to leave me. But he has to. For me. For my future....

he just kept hugging me and kissing me. But he said he made up his mind and he had to break up with me. To let me grow.
I'm heartbroken. Completely heartbroken....

Part of my wants to hold on because I think he is just having a breakdown and made an impulse decision. But the other part of me says to just let him go.
I just hope he realizes he is making a mistake.

I dont know what to do or think.
I'm shaking from anxiety and can't calm down. Even his friends are completely surprised. They said he talks about me all the time and how much he loves me and how I'm so different than any other woman he met.

My heart is in shambles.

This made me so sad to read. - the same thing happened to me over christmas but we had been together 8 years, lived together, talked about getting married and having kids and now its just me, alone and having to start again. He didn't tell his family or friends i had to and everyone was in shock and said it will be fine that we've been through so much we will get back together again when he's ready, but what about me? Am i that person suppose to just wait for him.

I have to question after all this time is that the real reason he left, I'm struggling but i know i have to live life regardless, i lost so much weight, wasn't eating, didn't sleep and i took so much time off work but i was only hurting myself.

This year I've decided i need to work on me, so here i am starting again. wish me luck for the road ahead.

JLAJ81 · January 2017

What happened! I need to know!

Unknown · January 2017