How do you politley say "No" to family and friends?

Options
2

Replies

  • dakitten2
    dakitten2 Posts: 888 Member
    Options
    I am so thankful for all of my family and friends that understand the lifestyle journey and are always there to offer me positive reinforcements. But if I was having a problem with anyone, I would simply say, No Thanks, I'm trying to reach a certain weight goal this week.
  • scarrie2
    scarrie2 Posts: 80 Member
    Options
    I get sick of people who have unhealthy habits always downing you for declining. "Always on a diet" my FIL always says. Maybe I don't want to be unhealthy, and that is a choice - is that ok with you???? It pisses me off. We don't pawn our stuff on them, why can't they just let it go?
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Options
    there have been times I just take one bite, exclaim how delicious it and want to enjoy it later, for dessert.. wrap it up- then later tell my 3 teenage boys where the goodies are that so-n-so brought over.

    <-- see those cheeseburger cupcakes there.. My son made those today and brought me one. I will eat it tomorrow, I already my sweet treat today. He is always making yummy treats, wants to be chef when he grows up. I have to find a balance between being supportive of my son"s passions ams careers... And my calorie limit...LOL.
    For my son, I will go for an extra bike ride so I can enjoy scones and tea with him. For neighbors, well, smile and say thanks, then pass it off to my 19 yr old bottomless pit.
  • ziggiezambi
    ziggiezambi Posts: 253
    Options
    I always just say I'm full. xD
  • martialartist77
    martialartist77 Posts: 5
    Options
    Great idea. Or.......if they are really dense......just say "I FEEL REALLY SICK. I better sit down in the living room." And after 2 or 3 times they will catch on and if they try to blame you, kind of admit...."yeah, the smell of all that food always does that to me. Even if its a 5 star restaurant." so they dont get offended. If they do get offended, I'm sorry to say...they are more toxic to you than the food they serve.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    Options
    I have friends that LOVE to cook a lot of unhealthy food, all my family and friends are overweight and like themselves that way. They are always inviting me over and feed me until I am completely stuffed. They'll get offended if you don't eat their food. Everytime my mom comes over she takes us out to eat. My neighbor is always coming over with fresh made cookies and waits for us to eat them in front of her. I lied to one that was not getting the point about having diabetes and by doctors request not allowed to eat certain foods anymore but now she cooks what she considers "healthy" (not) foods in super big portions and stuffs my mouth with them, so that lie completely backfired on me. My daughter wants to be a chef and I've asked her to come up with healthy recipes and offered to make them together, but always ends up cooking sweets and I eat them because I want to be supportive. Sometimes I'm doing great with my goals and becuse I don't want to hurt their feelings end up wasting all my hard work. What do you tell your loved ones? I'm also new to the message boards and I'd like some friends. Thanks! *Sorry, I meant POLITELY.

    Second comment. You have to go ahead and "hurt" their feelings. I would say I am not eating out with other people right now and not sharing food or taking food gifts, although I appreciate their hospitality.
  • mehs04
    mehs04 Posts: 184
    Options
    Don't lie. Just say, "No thank you" or eat smaller portions.
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
    Options
    I'm having trouble with this too. I literally have friends bringing me food. *SIGH* And I get the constant - you're gonna get hurt. You're taking things too far. You're anorexic again. Etc etc etc. Mind you - the people all saying this are frustrated with where they are and ask me how I do it, but when I tell them, they don't want to hear it. Let alone put the 8-10 hours a week into the workouts. I know they don't have to do anywhere near as much as I choose to, but... you gotta do something besides grump at me.

    So. I just eat the things I know that are good for me and choose one indulgence. Unless I have worked my *kitten* off that day and then I'll eat all the foods.
  • keith_w61
    keith_w61 Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    Perhaps you should point out to your FIL that everyone is always on a diet - some for putting weight on, some for taking it off. :smile:
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Options
    I just say no. I don't care whether they get offended or not.
  • shellyb17
    shellyb17 Posts: 144 Member
    Options
    I've had to repeatedly say the "no thanks, I don't eat that" to many many people over the years. If you consistently say "no", they will eventually get it, and stop asking. But as long as you continue to give in, they will continue to provide the bad stuff. I have stood my ground on this subject for so long that people that know me well enough have actually started bringing me fresh fruit for gifts instead of candy or baked stuff, lol.
  • ollygollymolly
    ollygollymolly Posts: 1
    Options
    Be honest! Tell them that you're trying to be healthy, and what they are making you is NOT healthy. Tell them that if they absolutely NEED you to taste it, you'll have a bite. A BITE. As in one.

    It's really hard to say no to people you love. It's the worst part of trying to do this right.
  • PinkNinjaLaura
    PinkNinjaLaura Posts: 3,202 Member
    Options
    I'm fortunate that it isn't an issue too often for me, and when it is I've gotten pretty direct. My answer usually is something like "I don't let myself eat that right now, but I've lost 44 pounds so far and am still going strong so it's worth it for me to make the sacrifice."
  • Yarrowdays
    Yarrowdays Posts: 19
    Options
    I completely agree with you. Why the h*ll do people have to be food pushers? Why is it so important that we eat something unhealthy, or that we eat anything at all that we don't want to? You know, when I make something and someone declines it, I respect that. It's their choice whether or not they want to eat what I made. I made it for MYSELF, not for them.
    People who go out of their way to make you food that you do NOT WANT, when you've told them this over and over, are...terrible. It's like offering a smoke to someone who's trying to quit, and them making them feel guilty for not taking it. Eating unhealthy food has just as many horrible, negative effects as smoking.
    People just don't realize this.
    But even if they don't, it's still none of their business what you're doing! And being a food pusher is one of the most annoying, aggravating, jerk faced things you could do to someone who is trying to live a healthier lifestyle.

    To the asker of this question, all you can do is first refuse with a polite "no thank you, I'm trying to lose weight, count my calories, I've changed to a healthier lifestyle..." And if they don't respect that, unfortunately you're either going to have to either just not eat it and ignore them completely when they try and make you feel guilty, leave the premises, or take all of the other awesome advice that the other people on here are giving.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    "No, thank you."

    ... or if you feel the need to expound:

    "I don't eat things like that on a regular basis anymore."

    "I'm trying to eat healthier and that doesn't fit into my plan today."

    "I'm doing really well losing weight and am looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow."

    "I can only eat (sweets/carbs/fats/fast food/foi gras/ridiculous pinterest concoctions) once in a while. I usually save my treats for the weekend."

    "I'm heading to the gym later and need to get fueled up with some healthy foods."

    "I'm trying to increase my protein and if I eat that I won't be able to hit my target today."

    "I already entered all of my food today on MFP and it worked out perfectly. If I eat that, I'll have to totally re-do my whole day and it's just not worth it." (Yes, I actually use that one a lot, especially at work.)

    Be honest, polite and stick to your plan. If you're consistent and do this for long enough, people get used to it. People still offer me things, but they don't take offense or try to push if I refuse. They know that I've been very successful at losing weight and maintaining my loss and that I value my health and fitness.
  • willdob3
    willdob3 Posts: 640 Member
    Options
    I simply say no thank you.

    When they persist I repeat & when they continue I say I'm not hungry. That is about as much reason as anyone is going to get from me & that is more than is necessary.

    I NEVER say that I CAN'T eat something - because I CAN have whatever I want; I choose not to eat unhealthy foods. I do not say I'm on a diet. In my experience saying you can't have something or that you're on a diet will make them try harder.

    Saying no thank you is not rude. Not accepting a gracious refusal is what is rude.
  • ellew70
    ellew70 Posts: 222 Member
    Options
    I simply say no thank you.

    When they persist I repeat & when they continue I say I'm not hungry. That is about as much reason as anyone is going to get from me & that is more than is necessary.

    I NEVER say that I CAN'T eat something - because I CAN have whatever I want; I choose not to eat unhealthy foods. I do not say I'm on a diet. In my experience saying you can't have something or that you're on a diet will make them try harder.

    Saying no thank you is not rude. Not accepting a gracious refusal is what is rude.

    The only thing I would add to this is.. No thank you. Thank you for thinking of me, however, that was very kind.

    The reason why they keep doing it is because you keep eating it. Say no enough... politely... and they will stop. Eventually.
  • leebesstoad
    leebesstoad Posts: 1,186 Member
    Options
    ee9073fc50c7b0f472ded37f92b23807.gif
  • cebiginalaska
    cebiginalaska Posts: 280 Member
    Options
    :laugh: When a family member tried to force feed me I took the food and threw it in the trash!!!
    When they ask" how come you did that?"... I told tell them "I kept telling you no I don't want it"
    Needless to say they never tried to force feed me again :drinker:

    edit: darn typo :tongue:
  • dbratton87
    dbratton87 Posts: 55 Member
    Options
    I'm pretty good about just doing things in a light/joking way and people typically get the point. Just something like, "Girl, please. You know I'm trying to do something about all this" (pointing to belly) If they keep insisting just nicely explain, "Seriously, I wish I could but you have no idea how many people tell me "Just this once is okay" every day. If I did it every time then I wouldn't be changing anything, would I?" If they still keep insisting then don't worry about having to get firm cause they are pushing you and making you go there. THEY are being rude at that point, not you. :)

Categories