How do you politley say "No" to family and friends?

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Replies

  • shellyb17
    shellyb17 Posts: 144 Member
    I've had to repeatedly say the "no thanks, I don't eat that" to many many people over the years. If you consistently say "no", they will eventually get it, and stop asking. But as long as you continue to give in, they will continue to provide the bad stuff. I have stood my ground on this subject for so long that people that know me well enough have actually started bringing me fresh fruit for gifts instead of candy or baked stuff, lol.
  • ollygollymolly
    ollygollymolly Posts: 1
    Be honest! Tell them that you're trying to be healthy, and what they are making you is NOT healthy. Tell them that if they absolutely NEED you to taste it, you'll have a bite. A BITE. As in one.

    It's really hard to say no to people you love. It's the worst part of trying to do this right.
  • PinkNinjaLaura
    PinkNinjaLaura Posts: 3,202 Member
    I'm fortunate that it isn't an issue too often for me, and when it is I've gotten pretty direct. My answer usually is something like "I don't let myself eat that right now, but I've lost 44 pounds so far and am still going strong so it's worth it for me to make the sacrifice."
  • Yarrowdays
    Yarrowdays Posts: 19
    I completely agree with you. Why the h*ll do people have to be food pushers? Why is it so important that we eat something unhealthy, or that we eat anything at all that we don't want to? You know, when I make something and someone declines it, I respect that. It's their choice whether or not they want to eat what I made. I made it for MYSELF, not for them.
    People who go out of their way to make you food that you do NOT WANT, when you've told them this over and over, are...terrible. It's like offering a smoke to someone who's trying to quit, and them making them feel guilty for not taking it. Eating unhealthy food has just as many horrible, negative effects as smoking.
    People just don't realize this.
    But even if they don't, it's still none of their business what you're doing! And being a food pusher is one of the most annoying, aggravating, jerk faced things you could do to someone who is trying to live a healthier lifestyle.

    To the asker of this question, all you can do is first refuse with a polite "no thank you, I'm trying to lose weight, count my calories, I've changed to a healthier lifestyle..." And if they don't respect that, unfortunately you're either going to have to either just not eat it and ignore them completely when they try and make you feel guilty, leave the premises, or take all of the other awesome advice that the other people on here are giving.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    "No, thank you."

    ... or if you feel the need to expound:

    "I don't eat things like that on a regular basis anymore."

    "I'm trying to eat healthier and that doesn't fit into my plan today."

    "I'm doing really well losing weight and am looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow."

    "I can only eat (sweets/carbs/fats/fast food/foi gras/ridiculous pinterest concoctions) once in a while. I usually save my treats for the weekend."

    "I'm heading to the gym later and need to get fueled up with some healthy foods."

    "I'm trying to increase my protein and if I eat that I won't be able to hit my target today."

    "I already entered all of my food today on MFP and it worked out perfectly. If I eat that, I'll have to totally re-do my whole day and it's just not worth it." (Yes, I actually use that one a lot, especially at work.)

    Be honest, polite and stick to your plan. If you're consistent and do this for long enough, people get used to it. People still offer me things, but they don't take offense or try to push if I refuse. They know that I've been very successful at losing weight and maintaining my loss and that I value my health and fitness.
  • willdob3
    willdob3 Posts: 640 Member
    I simply say no thank you.

    When they persist I repeat & when they continue I say I'm not hungry. That is about as much reason as anyone is going to get from me & that is more than is necessary.

    I NEVER say that I CAN'T eat something - because I CAN have whatever I want; I choose not to eat unhealthy foods. I do not say I'm on a diet. In my experience saying you can't have something or that you're on a diet will make them try harder.

    Saying no thank you is not rude. Not accepting a gracious refusal is what is rude.
  • ellew70
    ellew70 Posts: 222 Member
    I simply say no thank you.

    When they persist I repeat & when they continue I say I'm not hungry. That is about as much reason as anyone is going to get from me & that is more than is necessary.

    I NEVER say that I CAN'T eat something - because I CAN have whatever I want; I choose not to eat unhealthy foods. I do not say I'm on a diet. In my experience saying you can't have something or that you're on a diet will make them try harder.

    Saying no thank you is not rude. Not accepting a gracious refusal is what is rude.

    The only thing I would add to this is.. No thank you. Thank you for thinking of me, however, that was very kind.

    The reason why they keep doing it is because you keep eating it. Say no enough... politely... and they will stop. Eventually.
  • leebesstoad
    leebesstoad Posts: 1,186 Member
    ee9073fc50c7b0f472ded37f92b23807.gif
  • cebiginalaska
    cebiginalaska Posts: 280 Member
    :laugh: When a family member tried to force feed me I took the food and threw it in the trash!!!
    When they ask" how come you did that?"... I told tell them "I kept telling you no I don't want it"
    Needless to say they never tried to force feed me again :drinker:

    edit: darn typo :tongue:
  • dbratton87
    dbratton87 Posts: 55 Member
    I'm pretty good about just doing things in a light/joking way and people typically get the point. Just something like, "Girl, please. You know I'm trying to do something about all this" (pointing to belly) If they keep insisting just nicely explain, "Seriously, I wish I could but you have no idea how many people tell me "Just this once is okay" every day. If I did it every time then I wouldn't be changing anything, would I?" If they still keep insisting then don't worry about having to get firm cause they are pushing you and making you go there. THEY are being rude at that point, not you. :)
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    Just say no. You don't need to justify your actions. :flowerforyou:
  • KLWelty
    KLWelty Posts: 103 Member
    If you were diabetic, had celiac disease or a severe food allergy how would you answer them politely? That is how you answer them politely in this case too. It's no different except you have the option to deal with the devil and cave without the immediate health consequences. Think about the diabetes and high blood pressure you're dealing with now rather than when the doctor tells you you have to. :happy:
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,831 Member
    A dear friend whose been dead for many years now taught me to use the word "impossible" in such situations. It must be the specific word "impossible" as in, "Oh, I'm sorry but it's impossible for me to eat that right now." Usually that stops people in their tracks. If they ask, then you can tell them, "I'm on a special eating routine for my health and eating that right now is just impossible for me."

    I and various members of my family have used this advice over the years and it usually works like a charm. "It is impossible" leaves no wiggle room.
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
    "No thank you" seems to work for me. There is nothing to be done about hurt feelings.
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    I always say yes, so I guess I can't help.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I always say yes, so I guess I can't help.

    This. Honestly, if it is a once in a while thing, just do it. Don't do a temporary diet, learn how to eat for your lifestyle. If you go over one day, make it up over the course of the next few days or do some extra cardio.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    I don't understand....

    Do you honestly not know how to form the words and audibly speak the sentence "No, thank you"?

    A brief tutorial:

    no-thank-you.jpg

    You're welcome.

    Does anyone else need to learn how to zip up their pants or tie their shoes? I'm your gal!
  • godsgrl33
    godsgrl33 Posts: 307 Member
    I would either bring a dish along with me to a family function that I could eat a lot of (veggie tray, anyone??), and then eat a little of whatever unhealthy food they have to offer me. Take a half a cup of it, and then load up on fruits or veggies.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    Honestly I just say no thank you. I've got my meals planned for the day already and I don't want to adjust it. They can't shove it in if your not willing to open your mouth.
  • ShrinkingMuslimah
    ShrinkingMuslimah Posts: 99 Member
    I've found that if someone's going to get offended if I don't eat their food it's their problem not mine.
    I will simply say "No, but thank you very much for the offer" and if they offer a second time I say "No, thank you" and if they offer a third time I say "I already said no thanks, please don't ask again". If they get offended so be it. I do this if they try to feed me in front of them.
    If I have the option of taking it home, I will politely take the food, say "thank you" then give it to someone who does want to eat it. If a neighbor drops food off just politely say "thank you, I am not hungry now, but thank you for dropping it off" and if they ask you to eat it just say "I'm sorry, I am not hungry now".

    Honestly, just stand your ground. If they make a big deal of it it's their problem not yours. You ARE being polite when you say "no thank you" - they are the ones being rude if they try to push you into it, and you have every right to politely say "Please don't ask me again" if they get too pushy. It's your body, you're the only one who controls what goes into it.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    You have to be mean, cruel, and harsh this way they can understand how important this is to you.

    If someone offers me some food I don't want I simply take the entire plate and throw it at the nearest wall.

    After the plate has shattered and food is dripping down to the floor I just look at them calmly and say

    'No thanks.'
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    You have to be mean, cruel, and harsh this way they can understand how important this is to you.

    If someone offers me some food I don't want I simply take the entire plate and throw it at the nearest wall.

    After the plate has shattered and food is dripping down to the floor I just look at them calmly and say

    'No thanks.'

    Would lick the mess right off of you.
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
    I run into this at work all the time. I'm not sure why people are concerned about if, when or what I eat or don't eat?! They never were before I started losing weight?

    Anyway, I just say, 'No thanks, I brought my food'. That would work with your family also.

    I think sometimes people feel very threatened when someone starts making changes that they interpret as making them better than what they are. My friends at work who are heavy, are much more persistent in their encouragement of unhealthy eating than my slim friends are. My slim friends offer once, my heavy friends have to tell me how good it is, that there is plenty, etc.
  • nrvo
    nrvo Posts: 473 Member
    I say that I just ate and am super-full, or that I just ate a tic-tac, brushed my teeth, or something that left my mouth minty. I take a piece of whatever it is and tell them that I will save it for later. Then when they leave, I throw it out! If I'm at work, I will break off chunks and throw them out a little at a time, so if the person comes by my desk, it looks like I've been eating it.
  • RedneckBoomer
    RedneckBoomer Posts: 10
    It is a process. One situation / step at a time. Enough times and they will get the Idea. I take pro-active approach, try to keep it light hearted. but strive to get and keep control of the situations. I get my plate and guard it,. Take the serving spoon, serve yourself. That way you control the portions. Keep the topic off food, pass off comments about what or how much your not eating. . actions speak louder than words. At the table, take a bit of everything and always leave something on the plate. Start first and finish last. put a few items on your plate and then go back for a few more. The more time you take eating the more people think you ate. Drink a lot of water ,before and during the meal. This helps with the temptation to eat more.

    You can work the food into your diet. If your friend shows up on Tuesdays with green bean casserole make a meal or two of it. And when you eat at moms. . . take home a plate. load up on the good stuff. If you count calories save some for Sunday dinner.

    Cut the calories at the table. Pull the skin off the chicken ,cut the fat off the beef avoid the butter, gravy and spread the rice ,mash potatoes, beans out on the plate. Cake?? always take a center piece of a sheet cake (less icing) Pie? eat the filling leave the bottom crust.

    After a while they will get use to your new eating habits .

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