First Dates: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

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  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    edited August 2016
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    aoilp0m67icq.jpg


    That first date description though!

    This is epic!
    ETA is he sitting on the toilet? Who knew inmates were the ideal men because being locked up means they can't cheat. He's definitely going for his USP's!
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  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    arditarose wrote: »
    My best dates have always been with Italian men.

    When the jizz hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore...

    Haah haah! :smiley:

    my last boyfriend was from CT (Avon)...he turned out to be married. So my opinion of guys from CT (especially the Portuguese ones) are pretty low.

    I'll stick with the NJ *kitten*.
  • Verchild
    Verchild Posts: 866 Member
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    aoilp0m67icq.jpg


    That first date description though!

    I'm dying, this killed me. omg... hahahahahaha
  • denversillygoose
    denversillygoose Posts: 708 Member
    About 4 years ago I met a guy on OKC that I wasn't really interested in but I went out with him anyway. I had to pick him up across town because his car had just died and he hadn't gotten a new one yet. I didn't go inside his place because he had a weird roommate that lived in his dining room. He had made no plan, so we went to Bass Pro to look around. He made fun of all the mannequins in camo holding guns and he didn't understand any of the funny t-shirts. We spent all our time talking about politics and religion.

    It was probably one of my lamest dates ever, but he was pretty awesome so I kept him.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    aoilp0m67icq.jpg


    That first date description though!

    I can't even...it's like...what??

    But maybe he's your soulmate....

    OK well help me come up with a good response to "Hey there pretty thang". I don't want to miss my chance and let the good ones pass me by.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    aoilp0m67icq.jpg


    That first date description though!

    I can't even...it's like...what??

    But maybe he's your soulmate....

    OK well help me come up with a good response to "Hey there pretty thang". I don't want to miss my chance and let the good ones pass me by.

    I have a feeling his vocabulary is pretty limited. Keep it simple...just say "heyyyyy". He'll know it's true love!
  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
    So, question to the women:
    You see a poorly spelled profile. What's your reaction to the bad grammar?

    When someone says your sexy.... What bothers you more, is it the grammar or the lack of substance/creativity??
    Same with the their versus there.

    Gets popcorn.

    I can overlook typos and occasional short hand/text speak, but I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a teenager so keep it to a minimum.
    Aren't you in CT?

    I'd have thought you would run into the preppy ivy league dudes or the wall street types.

    Sure if I wanted to date a homosexual cocaine addict that'll bore me to death talking about stocks and microbrews.

    Years ago I went on a date with a homosexual cocaine addict. It was great - we both had a mutual love for Lulu and Jim Morrison's thighs. He didn't drink microbrews though (he spent too much time in the bathroom to order a drink).
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    I was talking to this guy on PoF (what is it with PoF??!!) and we decided to meet one Saturday night. He lived in Hoboken so I decided to go there because Hoboken is a good time, lots to do and it's a fun little city with great views of the NYC skyline.

    Since I was driving there we decided that I would pick him up at his apartment and then we'd drive around together to find parking. So after I pick him up (he was waiting outside of his building) we decided that we'd play some pool, have a few beers and then grab a bite to eat.

    The date started out good. We found a lot to park in and then took a cab to a pool hall. He seemed nice and playing pool was a good choice because it was an "activity" and since I really don't know how to play pool very well it gave him a little boost to "teach me".

    So he bought the first round of beers and when we were done I bought the 2nd round. When it was time to leave he had to pay for the pool table for the hour we played. He gives his credit card to the guy and it's declined. So the guy tries again and the card is declined again and then the guy says that the credit card machine had been acting up all day and blah blah. My date didn't have any cash on him so I had to pay for the table ( I think it was about $12).

    So we leave and we're going to get some food. He wanted to take another cab, but since he had no cash on him to pay the cabbie I suggested we walk to someplace close by. So we chose this sushi place...I noticed an ATM across the street and was like "maybe you should hop into Citibank to make sure there's nothing wrong with your card?" and he's like "nah - it's fine because I just used it this morning..."

    So we order food and drinks and he started to get a little 'handsy' and kept suggested we go back to his apartment to "watch TV and cuddle". I was like "no...ummm not tonight...I just met you". It was still pretty early (about 9pm on a Saturday night) so I was like "well maybe after we eat we can grab a drink somewhere instead?" He kept going on and on about how much he likes to cuddle and I'm patiently waiting for the foods to arrive because I was getting uncomfortable.

    So the bill comes, he gives his credit card and of course it's declined again. So I shell out the $85 dollars for dinner. I once again suggested him running across to Citibank to check his account. He says "well I have another credit card at my apartment...let's go there so I can get it! Or you can just stay and cuddle with me!" So I'm like "no...I think I should just head home". Now, we still had to take a cab back to where I parked my car and THEN I still had to drop him off at this place so now I'm getting annoyed at myself. We hale a cab and end up sharing it with another couple. He was all over me and kept trying to make out with me and it was just so uncomfortable. The other couple looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

    So finally we get to his apartment and I'm praising Little Baby Jesus for that this night is finally over. He once again tries to get me to cuddle with him in his apartment. I once again say "nope".

    I thought that the whole thing was over ...until I realized that he left his jacket in my car. He started texting me Sunday afternoon about picking his jacket up...but I didn't want to meet him and I certainly didn't want him know where I lived. So I told him that he could pick it up from me at work Monday and that I'd leave it with the receptionist. Then he went totally off the rails on me saying "WHY DO YOU HATE ME!! Why didn't you want to cuddle with me??!!"

    I was honest and told him that they whole cuddling thing was getting creepy.

    I left his stupid jacket with the building security guard and didn't hear from him again. But he changed the About Me section of his PoF profile to "I'm looking for cuddle dates. I just want someone to come over and cuddle with me under my blankets"
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  • arleban
    arleban Posts: 369 Member
    Villae81 wrote: »
    arleban wrote: »
    Villae81 wrote: »
    Can someone explain too long to read

    Yes it means that someone thinks that a post or written passage is too long for their attention span, so they didn't read what was there.

    Lol you're funny

    Sorry, a bad date with a guy who obviously didn't have money to pay for the date and then tried to lure her into staying at his apartment to "cuddle".
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    Villae81 wrote: »
    Can someone explain too long to read

    @Villae81 sorry...my dating stories are long, but mildly entertaining
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    @AskTracyAnnK28

    Did you demand a refund??

    @Cutaway_Collar I should have kept his stupid jacket as collateral. The night cost me well over $100!
  • arleban
    arleban Posts: 369 Member
    @AskTracyAnnK28

    Did you demand a refund??

    @Cutaway_Collar I should have kept his stupid jacket as collateral. The night cost me well over $100!

    Make a dating horror story book. That $100 was just an investment for your new career.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    arleban wrote: »
    @AskTracyAnnK28

    Did you demand a refund??

    @Cutaway_Collar I should have kept his stupid jacket as collateral. The night cost me well over $100!

    Make a dating horror story book. That $100 was just an investment for your new career.

    I can contribute. Hell, I need a job anyways so sounds like a solid idea!
  • Verchild
    Verchild Posts: 866 Member
    Villae81 wrote: »
    Can someone explain too long to read

    Dude REALLY wanted to cuddle.

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  • grinning_chick
    grinning_chick Posts: 765 Member
    edited August 2016
    The Bad:

    Blank profile, ignored requests for a photo ahead of time, and I gave the benefit of the doubt. Dude was a solid three inches shorter (said he was 5'8" yet I had an almost-clear view over the top of his head) and a 100 pounds fatter (said he was about 30-40 lbs overweight, like me at the time, and built like a football player. Apparently, what he meant was a short, out of shape, ex-lineman...) than he had stated. Rather slovenly dressed, even for an outdoors "date", unmistakably unshowered and his nails were filthy.

    We met at a local heavily visited river spot since he was going to give a fly fishing lesson. He claimed he had been an instructor in AK years ago and offered to teach me when I mentioned earlier during telephone conversations the only fishing I did was spincasting. After all of five minutes of instruction, he nearly completely ignored me for the next 1-1.5 hours while he did his own thing fishing. On the way back to the cars, he reached down to grab a couple restaurant style paper napkins laying in the grasses a little bit off-trail and ended up grabbing a handful of the human excrement they were covering.

    It actually got worse as the night went on, and for the 2-3 weeks I knew him, but I'll just leave y'all with that as the final imagery. You're welcome.

    The sad thing is it wasn't even a 'The Ugly' from my dating history. I was waaayyyy too optimistic, open-minded, patient, and forgiving when I was dating in my 20-30s of who/what crossed my path. Never again.
  • merryward13
    merryward13 Posts: 1,662 Member
    Several year ago, when I was newly single, I meet a guy off of Match. He's profile was interesting and he seemed nice enough. So we agreed to meet at a restaurant. He finds me first and I'm just stunned. He looks like his pictures but 10 years older, 6 inches shorter and a whole lot sweatier.... And he has a lisp. I'm like wtf but decide to give it a chance. Come to find out he used old, like 6 years ago pictures on his profile. And he didn't even live in the area anymore so he had to drive in. Creepy. We ended the date after dinner. And I pretty much told him that I wasn't interested. Needless to say, he continues texting me and trying to call and I pretty much blow him off. A month or so passes and radio silence. I'm out for Valentine's Day with a new guy (my now husband) and he starts texting me again. Number blocked. My guy is dropping me off at my house after our date and lone behold there is creeper dudes car at my house..... I never told him where I lived.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    Several year ago, when I was newly single, I meet a guy off of Match. He's profile was interesting and he seemed nice enough. So we agreed to meet at a restaurant. He finds me first and I'm just stunned. He looks like his pictures but 10 years older, 6 inches shorter and a whole lot sweatier.... And he has a lisp. I'm like wtf but decide to give it a chance. Come to find out he used old, like 6 years ago pictures on his profile. And he didn't even live in the area anymore so he had to drive in. Creepy. We ended the date after dinner. And I pretty much told him that I wasn't interested. Needless to say, he continues texting me and trying to call and I pretty much blow him off. A month or so passes and radio silence. I'm out for Valentine's Day with a new guy (my now husband) and he starts texting me again. Number blocked. My guy is dropping me off at my house after our date and lone behold there is creeper dudes car at my house..... I never told him where I lived.

    Please tell me there was a chivalrous fight to defend your honor?
    And a restraining order filed?
  • merryward13
    merryward13 Posts: 1,662 Member
    edited August 2016
    Well at first I call him and tell him to leave. He's like "please I just wanna see you". My guy is like "f.... This". Tells me to go inside and he handled him.... My guy hangs out for a bit. When he's leaving and I walk him to the door, there sit the flowers creeper dude had. He CAME BACK after my guy had pretty much scared the *kitten* outta him. My husband still makes fun of me to this day with "you need to leave" jokes.
  • Verchild
    Verchild Posts: 866 Member
    Well at first I call him and tell him to leave. He's like "please I just wanna see you". My guy is like "f.... This". Tells me to go inside and he handled him.... My guy hangs out for a bit. When he's leaving and I walk him to the door, there sit the flowers creeper dude had. He CAME BACK after my guy had pretty much scared the *kitten* outta him. My husband still makes fun of me to this day with "you need to leave" jokes.

    Thats amazing. All he was missing was the shining armor. You guys already had the monster...