Moms of College Freshman Teenage Daughters? Anyone??

Shana67

Intrinsicat wrote: »

Is there any chance she could change to a single room?

Yes - her dad has agreed to let her switch to a single/private room when she is able to request that. And, she's welcome to come home on the weekends, I just wish that she would stay there and get to know people, you know? There is a group called Cru that she's going to check out on Thursday night. Crossing my fingers and praying for a connection there.

Shana67

meredithgir199 wrote: »

This is part of the college experience. My parents are European and we were allowed to drink growing up as long as we didn't drive anywhere. When I got to school,some girls went crazy with their new found freedom.

Thanks! One of the reasons we've allowed our kids to have beer/wine as they hit 15/16 is because we didn't want them to go all crazy when they went to college, thinking that it was some rare, exotic treat. And we wanted to teach them responsible drinking, and I think we did a pretty good job.

Our 25 year old son rarely drinks and typically declines an offer of a beer or a glass of wine or even a cocktail. The 22 year old girl likes beer and will drink it when offered, but doesn't go all nuts. And Kara (my 18 year old "baby") has pretty good self control as well. I mean - I would be completely okay if she did choose to drink at college - absolutely fine. For the moment, it just really seems to bug her.

pianoplaya94

Shana67 wrote: »

pianoplaya94 wrote: »

I don't have any kids but I feel like commenting because your daughter is/was exactly me. I am in University right now in my last year and also have everything paid for and no loans and no worries. I also go to school an hour away. In first year, I lived in the dorms and came home every other weekend because I was lonely / homesick. And then after first year I moved back home and commute to school. I hope I'm not annoying my parents that much and hopefully I didn't make you lose hope in your sitation haha

Thank you for responding! Can you tell me what it is about living in the dorms that was tough for you? Kara (my daughter) is having trouble with roommates. We've raised our kids to be able to have a glass of wine or a beer now and again, but she's really having trouble with her roommates drinking & hard partying EVERY NIGHT and it's just been a week. She's in a suite with 3 other girls and has her own room, but I think feels really isolated because the partying scene just isn't her thing.

Hi! There is not much partying that goes on at my school and the partying that does happen is just some small dorm parties. But I think living in a dorm just made me feel really isolated as well. I'm shy and have a hard time making friends and although I did have some friends in my dorm area, we weren't super close and didn't really have much in common. So all that just made me feel really isolated and lonely. It made me miss everything at home: my family and my high school friends (which are still my best friends even though many of them live at their schools). Maybe your daughter misses her "old" life ?

emd2570

I am happy to say that both my kids decided not to go away to college - my daughter goes to a local private college about 20 min away and she is so happy she did that- she wasn't comfortable with the whole dorm thing and being with someone she didn't know etc- plus she is a neat freak and controlling and likes things her way so it was a good decision - and my son is going to a local community college about 25 min away but in 2 years will have to dorm a little bit further away at another college - going away isn't for everyone ... As a parent I know they are home... not far away i know what they are doing -( sort of lol) but now I worry about the driving there so it's always something -

Shana67

[quote="pianoplaya94;37465031I'm shy and have a hard time making friends and although I did have some friends in my dorm area, we weren't super close and didn't really have much in common. So all that just made me feel really isolated and lonely. It made me miss everything at home: my family and my high school friends (which are still my best friends even though many of them live at their schools). Maybe your daughter misses her "old" life ? [/quote]

Thanks again for responding She's not super shy, but she is not an extrovert, either. Have you head of the term "introverted extrovert"? That is Kara. She does miss her old life - but it's not we're far away. A quick 60 minute drive up the highway! Today she completely advocated for herself and I am VERY PROUD OF HER. She convinced housing to allow her to move into a 2 person suite, the girls share the bathroom. There is no common "gathering area" that could be used for parties, just 2 rooms, a small hallway and the bathroom. *knock wood* she will be better with this change.

AAAmom2008

My daughter, our oldest is 20...she had many friends go away for college. From an hour away to 8 hours away. My daughter went across town for college. She lived at home. She really felt that she was missing out. She would visit them some and thought they had it great....we one by one, her friends made their way back to home, going to school right here in town!! ....so, really, it is a huge adjustment, and some just are ready for life right after high school!! Lol