PUTTING IT OUT THERE

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  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
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    perkymommy wrote: »
    You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do

    exactly.

    I mentioned this to lemony. I am not only accountable to me. If I die prematurely it affects my son, who is mentally handicapped. A husband, who has physical illnesses of his own. Even a dog, who relies on me as well.

    It also affects everyone here on this forum in a way. We're supposed to be uplifting and inspirational for others on here. If we keep bouncing back to the old way (I regained 10 pounds- may not seem like much but when it boots you back up to 240, it matters mightily) then you're letting everyone down.

    I didn't grow up in the "it's all about me" generation. I grew up in a generation where you felt like and were accountable to those around you.

    Its kind of like this, perky. I take it you have children, right? Now, if your weight spirals out of control, and you lose your health (heavens I hope that NEVER happens!) then who takes care of the kids?

    We all do most of what we do for others- well I think we do. We see the ones we love and are responsible for and to and realize we have more in our universe than "us".

    I also feel quite accountable to MFP. If I am going to use this format to assist in getting healthier, then I am going to promote it to others when or if they ask "what's your secret?" In doing that, I'm promoting MFP and everyone on it, in a round about way. And, in a round about way, that makes me accountable to everyone on here to succeed- not fail.

  • Eleniala
    Eleniala Posts: 87 Member
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    perkymommy wrote: »
    You're only accountable to you. I doubt many care to the extent we like to think they do

    exactly.

    I mentioned this to lemony. I am not only accountable to me. If I die prematurely it affects my son, who is mentally handicapped. A husband, who has physical illnesses of his own. Even a dog, who relies on me as well.

    It also affects everyone here on this forum in a way. We're supposed to be uplifting and inspirational for others on here. If we keep bouncing back to the old way (I regained 10 pounds- may not seem like much but when it boots you back up to 240, it matters mightily) then you're letting everyone down.

    I didn't grow up in the "it's all about me" generation. I grew up in a generation where you felt like and were accountable to those around you.

    Its kind of like this, perky. I take it you have children, right? Now, if your weight spirals out of control, and you lose your health (heavens I hope that NEVER happens!) then who takes care of the kids?

    We all do most of what we do for others- well I think we do. We see the ones we love and are responsible for and to and realize we have more in our universe than "us".

    I also feel quite accountable to MFP. If I am going to use this format to assist in getting healthier, then I am going to promote it to others when or if they ask "what's your secret?" In doing that, I'm promoting MFP and everyone on it, in a round about way. And, in a round about way, that makes me accountable to everyone on here to succeed- not fail.

    You don't need to explain yourself. You already have, and I don't think peskymommy was looking for an explanation. Her "exactly" comment was just another passive-aggressive jab at you. I don't think it was so much about the accountability part, but rather telling you that nobody gives a you-know-what. Let the haters hate.
  • JewelsAU
    JewelsAU Posts: 52 Member
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    Who is hating? Who is bullying? The flags? The spirit in which the community should use these forums is tainted in this one now. Mods may be shutting down or moving this thread most likely.
  • Eleniala
    Eleniala Posts: 87 Member
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    JewelsAU wrote: »
    Who is hating? Who is bullying? The flags? The spirit in which the community should use these forums is tainted in this one now. Mods may be shutting down or moving this thread most likely.

    Which is exactly what the haters and bullies wanted all along. I hope the mods won't give them that satisfaction.
  • bugsypemberton
    bugsypemberton Posts: 46 Member
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    JewelsAU wrote: »
    Who is hating? Who is bullying? The flags? The spirit in which the community should use these forums is tainted in this one now. Mods may be shutting down or moving this thread most likely.

    You're a little late to the party.

    You see, Jewels, I have had to put some people on ignore in here. Seems "they" don't like my postings. Oddly enough, nobody made them look at my postings. So I've been getting dumped on: "that shouldn't be in here" etc. Though nothing I've said or done has violated TOS nor attacked anyone.

    I explained, from the get go, that blogging made it too easy to hide whereas forums can make it easier to be accountable to others. With blogs, the only way to be seen is to invite others to see your blog and, if you don't know anyone, that kind of makes it difficult to be seen, hence, be accountable.

    So, I decided to make myself accountable by no longer hiding the problem.

    Now, before I write the next segment, let me say this is NOT aimed at you. It's general observation.

    We live in a society where its perfectly okay to admit you're addicted to alcohol, drugs, even sex. But if you say you have a food addiction, and need group support and accountability, well, you're ostracized. And of course the immediate response is: get a support group in your area!

    There was one. It closed down due to lack of activity. OverEaters Anonymous. I guess more people took the "anonymous" part to heart than the "overeaters" part.

    As an obese female, I can tell you that embarrassment plays a big role in this. We're told, courtesy of so-called reality TV, that being chunky is sexy. And I guess some people can live with that. God bless them! But countless others cannot. I am one of the countless others who not only hides their food addiction, she also hides the feelings associated with the addiction.

    Most of the weight loss programs out there cost money I do not have. Life circumstances make it so. At sixty one I can ill afford to spend even $30 a month on programs and plans. The only gym I can afford costs me $35.00 a year, has to be physician recommended, and doesn't offer weight loss assistance (and is only open 3 days a week).

    Its a CARDIAC gym, not cardi-o.

    Now, I am not asking for pity or sympathy. But I have a sneaking feeling there's a lot of people on here who are having some kind of life circumstances and need to know they're not alone in their struggle to lose weight. Or maybe its just my old-lady self who lives on a fixed income. I don't know. Either way, MFP has been the only resource that worked for me and didn't require some monthly payment. Sure, I would love to be able to afford more services on here, but right now I cannot.

    I realize I don't owe you nor anyone else on here an explanation. But I don't mind. Not if it can help someone else. I am not afraid, not anymore, to admit that I have a food addiction and need the community support.

    I would like to think MFP would go ahead and just delete the critical comments. This forum didn't start out this way and I would delete them if I could but the scripting program doesn't have the feature for person who starts the thread to delete individual postings or I would.

    I even tried to rename the thread based on a very good suggestion. That feature isn't available, either.

    So given the limitations, the best I can do it place the ones who are posting, shall we say, snarky comments, on the block feature- which I discovered for the first time yesterday evening.

    That's what this was about.

  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    Dear Posters,

    I am closing this topic now per guideline 15.
    15. Divisive Topics Are Better Suited For Groups, Not the Main Forums

    Divisive topics and posts, particularly those that seek input from or are relevant only to a select group of users, are better placed within an appropriate Group rather than the Main Forums. For example, topics relevant to only one religion should not be placed on the main forums but rather within a group related to that religion.

    MyFitnessPal offers a blog feature with each user account which users have the option to make public, and users are also welcome to create a group or join an existing group for specific topics or if they would like others to join them for accountability.

    The main forums are for various types of discussion, however if a topic is on the main forums, anyone may comment on the topic, which means a variety of opinions. Blogs also allow for comments, but the blog owner has the ability to remove comments from others, unlike on the main forums.

    I would also like to remind everyone of the appropriate use of the Flag/Report system, which you can review in full here:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10007789/flagged-content-reported-posts-warning-points#latest

    In short, Spam flags are for spam-bots, Abuse flags are for severe, urgent violations, and Promotions (Like, Awesome, Insightful) are for posts you like. If you feel content is in violation of the guidelines, you can report the content using Flag>Report, or just place the user on Ignore.

    **Abuse of the flag system can result in a warning. This includes flagging a post as Spam or Abuse that does not meet the criteria, or Promoting a post which violates the guidelines, particularly posts which attack or insult other users**

    Please remember that while anyone can contribute to a topic in the main forums, users are expected to contribute respectfully to the topic, or move on without posting. Failure to do so can result in a warning for violating the community guidelines.

    kgeyser
    MFP Moderator
This discussion has been closed.