Does group support work and is it necessary?

txfyreflye

I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

What do you think?

mel35645

I think it is a personal choice, I find that i do better in either a group setting face to face such as weight watchers or even on this forum, I find interacting with others supporting them and receiving support from them is helpful to me but I realize it may not be right for everyone.

cmriverside

I think it's an individual preference. If you do well in that kind of environment then do it.

I do like online forums for this kind of thing. I've used support forums for a couple life problems and they have been super helpful...however I am pretty private in real life and I protect that privacy to some degree on forums. Anyone with an internet connection can read them - so some amount of caution is definitely good.

Are you talking about Weight Watchers or TOPS or OA by any chance? They have specific formats that you can learn about online before you go to a face-to-face meeting, too.

txfyreflye

Actually I was talking about forums like this one. I'm hesitant to open up in a forum.

zyxst

Group support doesn't support me. I'll give advice, listen, help out others in the group, but when it came time for me to need help, no one could be bothered. Not that I do better alone, but I know I will help me.

cmriverside

Well, no one is going to make you say anything here. If you want to, do it. If you just want to keep it light then do that.

I think if you keep it strictly about weight loss it is really helpful to use this forum. I've learned a lot here (been on this forum on and off since 2007.)

txfyreflye

zyxst wrote: »

Group support doesn't support me. I'll give advice, listen, help out others in the group, but when it came time for me to need help, no one could be bothered. Not that I do better alone, but I know I will help me.

Yeah. I hear ya. When I needed help people got po'd. They didn't want to hear it. That's what they said.

txfyreflye

cmriverside wrote: »

Well, no one is going to make you say anything here. If you want to, do it. If you just want to keep it light then do that.

I think if you keep it strictly about weight loss it is really helpful to use this forum. I've learned a lot here (been on this forum on and off since 2007.)

But then you have to wade through other peoples' stuff, don't you? Oh well.

cmriverside

So, do you have a particular question?

I mean, even if you ask it, you'll get varying answers on a forum. You can't control how people answer you.

I would say (on this site) don't ask about cleanses, crash/fast-result diets, supplements, "wraps", special teas, etc. That will not get you anywhere, and some of them can't even be discussed on this site: like Multi-level marketing stuff or dangerous plans. This site is heavily into healthy, sustainable slow weight loss (or gain, or maintaining weight.) There is a lot of great fitness info on this site, but the bottom line is find something that you can stick with, maintain a calorie deficit, get a little exercise if you can, and you can reach your goals. No fancy gimmicks, no special diet "plan." Just eat a little less and move some more.

txfyreflye

I really didn't ask anything. Just wrote about my dieting struggles. *shrug* guess it wasn't welcome.

txfyreflye

So my question (first post) is still: do you think support of any kind is necessary for success?

cmriverside

So...you are talking about...what?

Did you post another thread that got deleted? I mean, according to "search" you've made one other post in another thread...

There are some hot topics. Sometimes it's good to get the lay of the land on a forum before jumping in. People will definitely tell it to you straight in forums - but this forum is really tame. The moderators don't tolerate abusive posts.

Just about everyone here has has "dieting struggles." There are some topics that get strong reactions - but "struggles" is a pretty broad stroke.

cmriverside

txfyreflye wrote: »

So my question (first post) is still: do you think support of any kind is necessary for success?

No.

Cahgetsfit

I think that on forums like this it's not a good idea. It's too easy to get slammed by a lot of people who know EVERYTHING about dieting - be it the "CICO is the only way" crowd or the "you must do stronglifts 5x5" people or the "everything is science-based evidence and that's the only way" people or what have you.

So whatever question you ask the chances are someone will say something in a not very nice way as a response.

HOWEVER - I have found that having my close group of friends is really helpful - I post a LOT on my wall and get a lot of feedback from everyone and we have conversations and so on. We also started a FB group which has been really good too where we do stuff like photo of the day and just talk not only weight loss and exercise but you know - friends stuff. Oh and recipes.

So I think that having that sort of support (to ME anyway) has been extremely helpful. But, each to their own

txfyreflye

Thanks Cahgetsfit. Those were nice words. I think the ones who slam others may have deeper issues than weight loss. I was thinking about this earlier: what good is looking good outside if one has a meanness about them inside. Shouldn't ones success make them more willing to help others instead of silencing them? *shrug*

singingflutelady

Oh you changed your user name. There's nothing wrong with posting about your journey but the message boards aren't blogs and shouldn't be treated like that.

rankinsect

I guess it depends on what kind of support you need. I like the forums for what I get out of them, which are new ideas and perspectives, answers to specific questions, and other people who are going through some of the same things I am.

Machka9

txfyreflye wrote: »

I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

What do you think?

You've been told correctly. It is not not necessary.

For me, personally ...

The last thing on earth I wanted to do when I was losing weight was to let anyone (in person) know about it. I did not want to talk about it and I did not want any (in person) comments.

Forums are a little different. I tend to talk more in forums, but even so I don't ask a whole lot of questions or reveal a whole lot of feelings and things.

And people's responses ... mostly good. Probably 99% good.

txfyreflye

Machka9 wrote: »

txfyreflye wrote: »

I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

What do you think?

You've been told correctly. It is not not necessary.

For me, personally ...

The last thing on earth I wanted to do when I was losing weight was to let anyone (in person) know about it. I did not want to talk about it and I did not want any (in person) comments.

Forums are a little different. I tend to talk more in forums, but even so I don't ask a whole lot of questions or reveal a whole lot of feelings and things.

And people's responses ... mostly good. Probably 99% good.

I see your points. Good thoughts.
One thing for me is the need to have others involved. I wish I had the strength you and some others do. I simply do not. When I could afford WW, I went there. Now I cannot afford it so I have to find an alternative.

Anyway thanks for the thoughts.

Machka9

txfyreflye wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

txfyreflye wrote: »

I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

What do you think?

You've been told correctly. It is not not necessary.

For me, personally ...

The last thing on earth I wanted to do when I was losing weight was to let anyone (in person) know about it. I did not want to talk about it and I did not want any (in person) comments.

Forums are a little different. I tend to talk more in forums, but even so I don't ask a whole lot of questions or reveal a whole lot of feelings and things.

And people's responses ... mostly good. Probably 99% good.

I see your points. Good thoughts.
One thing for me is the need to have others involved. I wish I had the strength you and some others do. I simply do not. When I could afford WW, I went there. Now I cannot afford it so I have to find an alternative.

Anyway thanks for the thoughts.

For me, it's all about numbers. CI<CO. This is what worked:

• Enter your information into MFP
• Select sedentary as your activity level
• MFP will give you a maximum number of calories to work with
• Eat that amount or slightly less (weigh your food to ensure you are consuming the correct number of calories)
• Stick with it
• If you exercise, log it, but under-estimate the time and intensity for a more accurate number of calories burned.
• Eat about half the exercise calories back
• Stick with it
• Go to your grocery store and browse the aisles reading labels and carefully considering all the options ... there are a lot of options available
• Experiment with foods to discover which foods have staying power and keep you full longer ... and which don't
• Stick with it
• But only stick with it for 3 or 4 months ... this is not a forever thing ... at the end of 3 or 4 months you can reassess the situation and decide if you want a short diet break or if you want to keep going for another 3 or 4 months
• Focus on other things ... start training to run a marathon or cycling event or kayaking race or something ... take night classes ... volunteer ... clean your house from top to bottom ... take up a hobby ... make your life about something other than food

The only person who could help me with any of that is my husband. He cooks dinner and in order to help me, he let me choose what I wanted to eat and weighed it out.

While it's nice to have some friends telling me "well done" and stuff like that, and I appreciate that, there is really nothing they could or can DO. It's all up to me. It's me making the choices, me logging my food, me getting out there and exercising.

Lounmoun

txfyreflye wrote: »

So my question (first post) is still: do you think support of any kind is necessary for success?

Support is not absolutely necessary to lose weight.
It can be necessary for some people to have mentors, sounding boards, buddies, health professionals (including therapists) as a part of their weight loss process.

The forums here were helpful to me because I had not counted calories before. I had done diets and programs for 15 years and I was frustrated and not confident.
There is a lot of information here. Members are very responsive and active.

lorrpb

Why would that be a requirement?

middlehaitch

Support isn't needed for success; determination and honesty with oneself is.

Cheers, h.

smile_laughter

txfyreflye wrote: »

I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

What do you think?

Like several others have said, this will depend on you and your needs. I come from a family of alcoholics with most of them being sober now. One family member must have support from others through AA. She has been sober for 31 years and attends meetings every week. This is a must for her success. Another family member has been sober for 15 yrs, and she wants nothing to do with AA. I am not an alcoholic, but I did grow up around AA, and most of the folks that went needed the community support.

I like the support of the few MFP friends I have, and they really help me. After you get a bunch of mfp friends, you can slowly weed out the ones that do nothing as compared to those that are active.

Good luck to you.....try not to let the haters get into your head......not sure what they have to prove. This forum is about motivation/support.

SideSteel

I would never claim that it is necessary for success largely because there's a multitude of factors with successful weight loss and weight maintenance and so we can't really boil it down to anything being absolutely necessary aside from things like "calorie deficit".

But having said that, there are a number of categorical things that I'd say are pretty damn important for the majority of people, and I'd list social support as one of those categories.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3060773/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8068056
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16052189
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26833676
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20158617

txfyreflye

SideSteel wrote: »

I would never claim that it is necessary for success largely because there's a multitude of factors with successful weight loss and weight maintenance and so we can't really boil it down to anything being absolutely necessary aside from things like "calorie deficit".

But having said that, there are a number of categorical things that I'd say are pretty damn important for the majority of people, and I'd list social support as one of those categories.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3060773/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8068056
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16052189
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26833676
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20158617

thank you so much!!

txfyreflye

One thing I noticed- and this is only true for me I am not saying its across the board- is that my lifestyle doesn't allow me to put "me" as the only person to be responsible to. I had to figure out how everyone around me fits into this situation. Seriously, if it was only doing it "for me" I likely wouldn't bother. Mainly because "me" likes her food so much she's almost an Edesia worshiper.

I made a list of those I am responsible to. It helped me get things into focus. Now, I can't necessarily count on everyone in that group for support. Maybe its best to keep the supporters separate from those you are responsible to (or for). When support consists of helpful resources, suggestions and the occasional "attaboy" and commiserate moments, it seemed to make a difference for me. Maybe not everyone needs it. Cool. But I know I do and it's nice to know I'm not alone in that need.

Those studies listed above, courtesy of SideSteel, are quite helpful and insightful! Thank you so much for posting them!

txfyreflye

smile_laughter wrote: »

txfyreflye wrote: »

I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

What do you think?

Like several others have said, this will depend on you and your needs. I come from a family of alcoholics with most of them being sober now. One family member must have support from others through AA. She has been sober for 31 years and attends meetings every week. This is a must for her success. Another family member has been sober for 15 yrs, and she wants nothing to do with AA. I am not an alcoholic, but I did grow up around AA, and most of the folks that went needed the community support.

I like the support of the few MFP friends I have, and they really help me. After you get a bunch of mfp friends, you can slowly weed out the ones that do nothing as compared to those that are active.

Good luck to you.....try not to let the haters get into your head......not sure what they have to prove. This forum is about motivation/support.

Thank you so much! I guess sometimes a person just has to start things all over again and find a different crowd and, thanks to you and others, my experience on here is getting much better!

You make some great points. Addictions are addictions. Just the outcomes may differ a little, but one thing is for sure, allowing something else to rule our lives and interactions with others isn't good for anyone!

I'm so proud of your family's success! And yours, as well, for helping them AND working on getting healthier!

And thanks for the encouragement!

txfyreflye

rankinsect wrote: »

I guess it depends on what kind of support you need. I like the forums for what I get out of them, which are new ideas and perspectives, answers to specific questions, and other people who are going through some of the same things I am.

Just a quick note to say thanks for the response and love the hat!

Alluminati

Personally, no. I don't need group or public support to hold myself accountable. I've been on MFP for 4 yrs and counting. If you want to verbalize your feelings, no one is stopping you but the forums are generally used for q&a and discussions. There is a blog feature for MFP that is useful if you want to post your diary or verbalize your feelings in public. Groups as well.

txfyreflye

Lounmoun wrote: »

txfyreflye wrote: »

So my question (first post) is still: do you think support of any kind is necessary for success?

Support is not absolutely necessary to lose weight.
It can be necessary for some people to have mentors, sounding boards, buddies, health professionals (including therapists) as a part of their weight loss process.

The forums here were helpful to me because I had not counted calories before. I had done diets and programs for 15 years and I was frustrated and not confident.
There is a lot of information here. Members are very responsive and active.

Thanks so much for your input. Yanno, the calorie counting thing can be a real pain. I finally went out and got this nifty tool from Bed, Bath and Beyond. More than a weigh scale, this doo dad tells you the calories and other things in the food you're measuring for weight.

Its called PERFECT PORTIONS by Kitchen Gurus and is also available online at greatergoods.com. It comes with instructions and a nutrition scale food code book. You put in the code for, say, salmon. It gives you the weight as well as calories and everything else. Very cool! And if something isnt in the book (which is slim and made of heavy coated card stock) then you can go by just weight.

The machine is battery op, and only around 1/2" thick, about 8" wide (if that). So it fits nicely into a suitcase, etc. In fact (please dont laugh) I took it with me to a buffet (not during dinner time, and with permission from the owner) and they allowed me to measure all of my foods out. This was probably a unique situation as I know the owner, but it was interesting to see how easy it was to do. The machine actually slipped into my carry all!

Anyway, if anyone is interested in one of what I think is a very cool way to track things, I recommend it. Cost at BB and B was around $40.