Does group support work and is it necessary?

Options
2»

Replies

  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
    Options
    Why would that be a requirement?
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,487 Member
    Options
    Support isn't needed for success; determination and honesty with oneself is.

    Cheers, h.
  • smile_laughter
    smile_laughter Posts: 3,682 Member
    Options
    txfyreflye wrote: »
    I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

    What do you think?

    Like several others have said, this will depend on you and your needs. I come from a family of alcoholics with most of them being sober now. One family member must have support from others through AA. She has been sober for 31 years and attends meetings every week. This is a must for her success. Another family member has been sober for 15 yrs, and she wants nothing to do with AA. I am not an alcoholic, but I did grow up around AA, and most of the folks that went needed the community support.

    I like the support of the few MFP friends I have, and they really help me. After you get a bunch of mfp friends, you can slowly weed out the ones that do nothing as compared to those that are active.

    Good luck to you.....try not to let the haters get into your head......not sure what they have to prove. This forum is about motivation/support.
  • SideSteel
    SideSteel Posts: 11,068 Member
    Options
    I would never claim that it is necessary for success largely because there's a multitude of factors with successful weight loss and weight maintenance and so we can't really boil it down to anything being absolutely necessary aside from things like "calorie deficit".

    But having said that, there are a number of categorical things that I'd say are pretty damn important for the majority of people, and I'd list social support as one of those categories.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3060773/
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8068056
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16052189
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26833676
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20158617
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    SideSteel wrote: »
    I would never claim that it is necessary for success largely because there's a multitude of factors with successful weight loss and weight maintenance and so we can't really boil it down to anything being absolutely necessary aside from things like "calorie deficit".

    But having said that, there are a number of categorical things that I'd say are pretty damn important for the majority of people, and I'd list social support as one of those categories.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3060773/
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8068056
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16052189
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26833676
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20158617

    thank you so much!!
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    One thing I noticed- and this is only true for me I am not saying its across the board- is that my lifestyle doesn't allow me to put "me" as the only person to be responsible to. I had to figure out how everyone around me fits into this situation. Seriously, if it was only doing it "for me" I likely wouldn't bother. Mainly because "me" likes her food so much she's almost an Edesia worshiper.

    I made a list of those I am responsible to. It helped me get things into focus. Now, I can't necessarily count on everyone in that group for support. Maybe its best to keep the supporters separate from those you are responsible to (or for). When support consists of helpful resources, suggestions and the occasional "attaboy" and commiserate moments, it seemed to make a difference for me. Maybe not everyone needs it. Cool. But I know I do and it's nice to know I'm not alone in that need.

    Those studies listed above, courtesy of SideSteel, are quite helpful and insightful! Thank you so much for posting them!
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    smile_laughter wrote: »
    txfyreflye wrote: »
    I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

    What do you think?

    Like several others have said, this will depend on you and your needs. I come from a family of alcoholics with most of them being sober now. One family member must have support from others through AA. She has been sober for 31 years and attends meetings every week. This is a must for her success. Another family member has been sober for 15 yrs, and she wants nothing to do with AA. I am not an alcoholic, but I did grow up around AA, and most of the folks that went needed the community support.

    I like the support of the few MFP friends I have, and they really help me. After you get a bunch of mfp friends, you can slowly weed out the ones that do nothing as compared to those that are active.

    Good luck to you.....try not to let the haters get into your head......not sure what they have to prove. This forum is about motivation/support.

    Thank you so much! I guess sometimes a person just has to start things all over again and find a different crowd and, thanks to you and others, my experience on here is getting much better!

    You make some great points. Addictions are addictions. Just the outcomes may differ a little, but one thing is for sure, allowing something else to rule our lives and interactions with others isn't good for anyone!

    I'm so proud of your family's success! And yours, as well, for helping them AND working on getting healthier!

    And thanks for the encouragement!
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    rankinsect wrote: »
    I guess it depends on what kind of support you need. I like the forums for what I get out of them, which are new ideas and perspectives, answers to specific questions, and other people who are going through some of the same things I am.

    Just a quick note to say thanks for the response and love the hat! :)
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    edited September 2016
    Options
    Personally, no. I don't need group or public support to hold myself accountable. I've been on MFP for 4 yrs and counting. If you want to verbalize your feelings, no one is stopping you but the forums are generally used for q&a and discussions. There is a blog feature for MFP that is useful if you want to post your diary or verbalize your feelings in public. Groups as well.
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    txfyreflye wrote: »
    So my question (first post) is still: do you think support of any kind is necessary for success?

    Support is not absolutely necessary to lose weight.
    It can be necessary for some people to have mentors, sounding boards, buddies, health professionals (including therapists) as a part of their weight loss process.

    The forums here were helpful to me because I had not counted calories before. I had done diets and programs for 15 years and I was frustrated and not confident.
    There is a lot of information here. Members are very responsive and active.

    Thanks so much for your input. Yanno, the calorie counting thing can be a real pain. I finally went out and got this nifty tool from Bed, Bath and Beyond. More than a weigh scale, this doo dad tells you the calories and other things in the food you're measuring for weight.

    Its called PERFECT PORTIONS by Kitchen Gurus and is also available online at greatergoods.com. It comes with instructions and a nutrition scale food code book. You put in the code for, say, salmon. It gives you the weight as well as calories and everything else. Very cool! And if something isnt in the book (which is slim and made of heavy coated card stock) then you can go by just weight.

    The machine is battery op, and only around 1/2" thick, about 8" wide (if that). So it fits nicely into a suitcase, etc. In fact (please dont laugh) I took it with me to a buffet (not during dinner time, and with permission from the owner) and they allowed me to measure all of my foods out. This was probably a unique situation as I know the owner, but it was interesting to see how easy it was to do. The machine actually slipped into my carry all!

    Anyway, if anyone is interested in one of what I think is a very cool way to track things, I recommend it. Cost at BB and B was around $40.

  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    Machka9 wrote: »
    txfyreflye wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    txfyreflye wrote: »
    I've been told that getting support for weight loss from a group of people isn't essential and that you don't need to verbalize your feelings in public and probably shouldn't.

    What do you think?

    You've been told correctly. It is not not necessary.

    For me, personally ...

    The last thing on earth I wanted to do when I was losing weight was to let anyone (in person) know about it. I did not want to talk about it and I did not want any (in person) comments.

    Forums are a little different. I tend to talk more in forums, but even so I don't ask a whole lot of questions or reveal a whole lot of feelings and things.

    And people's responses ... mostly good. Probably 99% good. :)

    I see your points. Good thoughts.
    One thing for me is the need to have others involved. I wish I had the strength you and some others do. I simply do not. When I could afford WW, I went there. Now I cannot afford it so I have to find an alternative.

    Anyway thanks for the thoughts.

    For me, it's all about numbers. CI<CO. This is what worked:
    • Enter your information into MFP
    • Select sedentary as your activity level
    • MFP will give you a maximum number of calories to work with
    • Eat that amount or slightly less (weigh your food to ensure you are consuming the correct number of calories)
    • Stick with it
    • If you exercise, log it, but under-estimate the time and intensity for a more accurate number of calories burned.
    • Eat about half the exercise calories back
    • Stick with it
    • Go to your grocery store and browse the aisles reading labels and carefully considering all the options ... there are a lot of options available
    • Experiment with foods to discover which foods have staying power and keep you full longer ... and which don't
    • Stick with it
    • But only stick with it for 3 or 4 months ... this is not a forever thing ... at the end of 3 or 4 months you can reassess the situation and decide if you want a short diet break or if you want to keep going for another 3 or 4 months
    • Focus on other things ... start training to run a marathon or cycling event or kayaking race or something ... take night classes ... volunteer ... clean your house from top to bottom ... take up a hobby ... make your life about something other than food


    The only person who could help me with any of that is my husband. He cooks dinner and in order to help me, he let me choose what I wanted to eat and weighed it out.

    While it's nice to have some friends telling me "well done" and stuff like that, and I appreciate that, there is really nothing they could or can DO. It's all up to me. It's me making the choices, me logging my food, me getting out there and exercising.

    Absolutely! Very good points.
    One thing I found before was that I shouldn't count my exercise time. Reason being: MFP gives you extra calories and I know me- I'll eat them! lol

    And my exercise plan isn't so much for weight loss as strengthening my heart. A few years back I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation (a-fib) and they saw what they thought was a small weakening in the heart wall. So I was put on cardiac rehab. I still do it. And its been 2 years now without an attack (thank God!)

    Can I borrow your husband? LOL Just kidding but it sounds like you have a real gem!!

    My husband is a gem too, but not in the kitchen. He's an old traditionalist: woman cook, man mow lawn. But he is supportive in other ways, so I can't complain.

    I find I do better, not so much with pats on the back, as just knowing someone may see the progress and especially knowing I'm not alone in this.

    Your ideas are great! And I will be you're really achieving good goals! :) Keep goin! Thank you!
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    Cahgetsfit wrote: »
    I think that on forums like this it's not a good idea. It's too easy to get slammed by a lot of people who know EVERYTHING about dieting - be it the "CICO is the only way" crowd or the "you must do stronglifts 5x5" people or the "everything is science-based evidence and that's the only way" people or what have you.

    So whatever question you ask the chances are someone will say something in a not very nice way as a response.

    HOWEVER - I have found that having my close group of friends is really helpful - I post a LOT on my wall and get a lot of feedback from everyone and we have conversations and so on. We also started a FB group which has been really good too where we do stuff like photo of the day and just talk not only weight loss and exercise but you know - friends stuff. Oh and recipes.

    So I think that having that sort of support (to ME anyway) has been extremely helpful. But, each to their own :)

    This is the conclusion I think we can all draw: it's a variable. Some people need lots of help; others not so much; and then others? Well, they have the will of iron!

    You're right, people in forums are often knowing it all. That's true in all of life though. I like what my doctor says: "medicine is called a practice because we never get it totally right". That could be true with weight loss, too. There's some basic principles, but how one achieves the goal may vary from person to person.

    Maybe that's why there's so many kinds of diets out there? Somebody tried something- it worked for them and they marketed it?

  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited September 2016
    Options
    The answer to this question depends highly on the personality of the person. Some people do better with support, and you appear to be one. There is nothing wrong with that. You should seek support if it helps you. Be careful, though. The kind of support you will find on this forum is a bit different. Many people will want to help you more than they will want to validate your feelings. I would look into groups if I were you. The discussions in many groups are way more tame and more likely to provide the kind of support you are looking for. Just find an active group and pour your heart out.

    Personally, I actually do WORSE with support. I'm a very procedure-based person. Talking about and issue "just to let it out" or sharing just for the sake of sharing without exploring ways to solve it only shines a spotlight on it and makes it appear bigger and more important than it really is, to the point where it could become crippling. I do occasionally share stuff, but it's often to help someone else, where my own issue is not the focus.

    I do better experimenting with solutions on my own and at my own pace sorting them out and picking what works and discarding what doesn't. Being in the spotlight makes me anxious because it creates pressure to overcome my problem as soon as possible not to disappoint or bore people who put effort into supporting me. I also don't do well with accountability partners and the like because my priorities shift constantly and so do my approach and results. I also absolutely love helping people, but when it becomes and implied mandatory thing expected from me like it is in case of group support and accountability buddies it becomes emotionally draining. I'd rather do it on my own terms. I'm kind of an "extroverted loner", if you will. It has nothing to do with will and all things to do with personality.
  • txfyreflye
    txfyreflye Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    amusedmonkey wrote: »
    The answer to this question depends highly on the personality of the person. Some people do better with support, and you appear to be one. There is nothing wrong with that. You should seek support if it helps you. Be careful, though. The kind of support you will find on this forum is a bit different. Many people will want to help you more than they will want to validate your feelings. I would look into groups if I were you. The discussions in many groups are way more tame and more likely to provide the kind of support you are looking for. Just find an active group and pour your heart out.

    Personally, I actually do WORSE with support. I'm a very procedure-based person. Talking about and issue "just to let it out" or sharing just for the sake of sharing without exploring ways to solve it only shines a spotlight on it and makes it appear bigger and more important than it really is, to the point where it could become crippling. I do occasionally share stuff, but it's often to help someone else, where my own issue is not the focus.

    I do better experimenting with solutions on my own and at my own pace sorting them out and picking what works and discarding what doesn't. Being in the spotlight makes me anxious because it creates pressure to overcome my problem as soon as possible not to disappoint or bore people who put effort into supporting me. I also don't do well with accountability partners and the like because my priorities shift constantly and so do my approach and results. I also absolutely love helping people, but when it becomes and implied mandatory thing expected from me like it is in case of group support and accountability buddies it becomes emotionally draining. I'd rather do it on my own terms. I'm kind of an "extroverted loner", if you will. It has nothing to do with will and all things to do with personality.


    Oh thank you so much for your insightful comment!

    You know best what works for you is a great motto. But what I like most is that you (unlike so many people) knows what works for you and realize that it may not be the case with others. That kind of extension is great!

    There's a side of me thats a loner in the sense that I really hide problems. Have for years. And for me, well, I did find if I open up it helps. But not everyone feels that way. All my life I was a total introvert who "tried everything" t get out of the shell I was in. I finally found two things I was good at: music and graphics/illustration. But even with those it was easy to just play flute alone (or guitar) or only to a select group and of course, graphics is a loner occupation.

    Keep on keepin on! And thanks for the advice about groups. I'll look into it! :)

Categories