Emotional Eaters and Food Addictions Area

txfyreflye

Mitzigan94 wrote: »

I also struggle from emotional eating. I used to be at my highest weight of 145 then I learned about mfp calorie counting, the eat only when youre hungry not when youre bored then I was able to go down to 105 lbs in a year and a half. Lately I feel like I'm almost falling off the wagon like waking up in the morning eating breakfast mainly bread bought by gramps and I eat like 10 slices of bread, hot choco then if theres rice I'll eat it too with a side dish of tuna or whatever food there is in high calories then guilt and shame comes in. Until I realized this might be emotional stress causing these. I can feel like Ive already gained few pounds. My friends told me my face looks bigger. Lol if that makes any sense.
I don't wanna gain back those pounds I've already lost. Most of all I would never want to go back to my old ways. Now I'm doing something about it. I started working out again, taking control, drink lots of water, eat only when I'm truly hungry. Im still challenged with this I mean we all are but we need to get out of our comfort zone think about our health if we continue doing this were slowly killing ourselves.

I'm a believer and I firmly believe whatever were going through with emotional eating we'll get through this. We just need to take control.

You know what I see? I see a carbo-holic. No, this isn't a psychiatric condition lol. But it is part of a food addiction. Note that your side dish- what should be smaller- is the tuna! A protein! and the star is a carb.

As a recovered type 2 diabetic I understand what that means, too. The hard part is cutting back (not cutting out) the carbs or looking for alternatives.

May I encourage you to check into carb alternative cooking?

txfyreflye

scgirlincolorado wrote: »

Help -- I obsess about left over calories. I am always satiated, yet my brain keeps saying "you better use those". Last night I gave in to shut myself up. It satisfied me (my body, my brain, I have no idea) and fortunately I still didn't go over my target. What is going on with this???? Anyone have any ideas and/or advice?

And it doesnt help when you log your exercise- even MFP gives you "extra" cals!

So I decided to stop logging exercise.

One thing to keep in mind is that not eating enough cals can harm you. So, if you're on 1200 cals, say, and have 300 left, by ALL MEANS eat them!

But if its like 20 cals left, don't sweat it!

txfyreflye

Crystal_Can wrote: »

I get that resentment feeling too...like why can't I just be like all the Normal weight people who don't have to log, obsess, change, avoid, etc. like I do. I've been doing better though the past few weeks...its like I have a disability that causes me to need all these extra tools to be ok. I don't want a "relapse"....if I have one, I hope it doesn't knock me out or make me give up, like it has in the past

Gal, I get ya!
A while back I went out to dinner at Outback with some friends. They steaked, tatered, etc. And I watched. Me and my Caesar salad. I kind of resented it, yanno?

So then I asked one of them: how can you pig out like that and never gain a pound!

She told me that her secret is to eat skinny. Now, whether this works or not I can't tell you. But here's an interesting link:

EAT LIKE A SKINNY PERSON

txfyreflye

judis100 wrote: »

Thank you TzFyreFlye for starting this discussion.

You're very welcome!
And a big thanks to all who are participating! Its so nice to know Im not alone!

txfyreflye

iceyblues wrote: »

I have a weird relationship with food,have always gone from one extreme to the other.
Been underweight to overweight and yoyo all the time. Starve myself to binging......but I am trying to change that.

And I believe you can end that cycle.
You may need to seek counseling or a real life support group. Or at least get a real life accountability partner.

txfyreflye

gothchiq wrote: »

I do have issues with occasionally bingeing. I'm getting a handle on it and the binges are getting smaller and less frequent.... but I am always disappointed in myself when I allow it to happen. I had a bread binge this weekend. This is terrible for my blood sugar, which is an issue for me. I used to emotionally eat whole pints of Ben and Jerry's, but at least I have stopped doing that (prediabetes diagnosis. It really scares me into acting better.) Certain foods are like triggers that I mustn't even have a bit of or else it becomes a binge in an eyeblink. X()

Here's a thought: make alternatives a mission.

I used to be an insulin reliant diabetic type 2.
That changed when I decided to put the same creativity into finding alternatives to carbs that I put into making my favorite treats.

Bread is a comforting food. Believe me, I know. But there are alternatives. Maybe stop buying bread for a while and fill in with alternatives?

txfyreflye

IzzyBooNZ1 wrote: »

ugh I stuffed myself all weekend. Posted this on another thread but will do it here as well. Hope it drums into my dumb head. It rained all weekend and I was stuck inside. I think I was bored plus PMS so I just ate. And ate and ate. I wasn't even hungry. I lost all motivation to do a home workout. Also the continuous rain depressed me especially with all the laundry building up.
Fed up with myself for being like this. I'm 41 . I'm not overweight but I have worked hard to get where I am and feel like I keep undoing my hard workouts during the week. I have been slack at logging in my diary but I have started again today. It's more the weekends I lost all will power and like someone said above, it becomes a free for all. Popcorn, soup, bacon, eggs, noodles , english muffin, cheese, french bread, biscuits. holy moly. Numerous cups of rooibos tea ( I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible) In one day and all. *smacks head*

Also I HATE wasting food as well. I was also told by my Mum to eat all my food.

Our mothers did us a great disservice in telling us not to waste our food.

Fact is, what they should tell us is how to take LESS to our plates so as to avoid the issue of wasted food to begin with.

I mentioned in a post that had gotten eradicated from the forums about a rule I've developed called the ONE BITE RULE.

It works like this:

Hubby has a donut. I would really like to taste it. Heck, I would like to eat it all but I cant and he can!

So I ask hubby to give me a bite.

Then I wait. And I find out all I wanted was enough to satiate my pang!

If you have a loved one who can or does eat everything you cannot, try the one bite rule

txfyreflye

lemurcat12 wrote: »

I actually don't think it's about replacing it directly, although there are things that can in the short term and make it easier (I often go to get coffee or tea instead of snacking at the times I used to use food for stress, etc.). Simply replacing it with low calorie options (carrots, kohlrabi, celery, radishes, a pickle) can be an option, and stuff I've used as a temporary measure at times. But a huge thing is dealing with stress or bad feelings in a different way -- journaling, exercise, music, sitting with the feelings (can be a big one), meditating or prayer, talking to someone, etc.

You could also look at a hobby. Something you really enjoy. I took up glass etching and making candle holders with recycled glass. Keeps my hands busy!

Sarahb29

I am an emotional eater too, I feel like eating when I'm bored, when I'm watching something on TV, when I'm upset etc. I had to come up with alternatives just like a smoker has their nicotine patches. Instead of eating popcorn during a movie I'll drink a sweetened tea (with splenda or some non sugar substitute). If I want ice cream I have a small amount of arctic zero in a small bowl. The small bowl is important because it ends up looking like more, and if you put one serving (measured out) in a big bowl it's just sad to look at. Crunchy snacks I like are almonds (they come in a ton of flavors!) and celery with peanut butter. I choose to not eat much fruit at all because I've noticed I end up eating too much of it if I start.. the sweetness of it just makes me want more sweet things.

campfirequeen1

Definitely an addict and any emotion, good or bad, can send me in search of food. I'm getting better at celebrating without food, but anger and hurt still make me want the comfort of food. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and was abused by my mom. Was sexually abused by a neighbor at age 5. Have a lifetime of poor choices that have saddled me with ill effects, but with the help of my God and some good therapy, I have come a long way over the years. I am finally working on the food addiction with a lot of success so far. Many thanks goes to this community for the support and encouragement I receive daily, it has played a large part in these successes! Thanks for the links, I will take a look at them.

txfyreflye

stiles31611 wrote: »

I am a sugar addict. I am having such a hard time not thinking about sweets, let along not eating them. They are the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. All throughout the day I think about them. Sugar is like a drug for me. I know sugar is almost toxic to the body but I want it anyways. People say it was get better with time BUT how much is that time. I obtained from sugar for 2 weeks and it seemed like the cravings screamed louder each day. Not sure if anyone else struggles with this. Or if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them.

Though there's a bunch of quack science out there claiming that refined sugar is a drug (an opiod), and while it has some of the same effects on the brain, the fact is, sugar is addictive mainly because we start consuming it at a very early age and our bodies learn to crave it.

And like any other craving, there's only 2 ways to break it: never have it or learn to moderate it.

For me, it's just better not to have it but replace it. Lots of debate on this but when Stevia came out, a lot of doubt flew away.

However, stevia has limitations. And I simply don't like what the other subs do to me. Splenda for baking is 1/2 splenda and 1/2 sugar. I've yet to find a stevia friendly cookie recipe.

Sigh.

You may want to have your dr. check for a chemical imbalance too.

Could be the constant craving has a physical reason.

txfyreflye

campfirequeen1 wrote: »

Definitely an addict and any emotion, good or bad, can send me in search of food. I'm getting better at celebrating without food, but anger and hurt still make me want the comfort of food. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and was abused by my mom. Was sexually abused by a neighbor at age 5. Have a lifetime of poor choices that have saddled me with ill effects, but with the help of my God and some good therapy, I have come a long way over the years. I am finally working on the food addiction with a lot of success so far. Many thanks goes to this community for the support and encouragement I receive daily, it has played a large part in these successes! Thanks for the links, I will take a look at them.

Such an inspirational note!

My family redefined dysfunctional. Still does! But one thing I do know- and agree with you on- is that God makes a difference. All too often, people of faith (any faith) think it means there's something wrong with them if they struggle with a problem.

I hope you don't mind but I'm going to take a moment to wax biblical.

When my youngest son was born with mental retardation, I asked God "why?????" And I was angry. It seemed unfair to my son and to me.

Then, one day many years later, this man (an evangelist) explained that we all have our imperfections and foibles and struggles. That doesn't mean God loves us less. It actually shows his gracious love that he accepts us in our imperfections.

Knowing that I could still be loved without being perfect was a great relief!

Thank you for your very open and encouraging message!

txfyreflye

FOR ALL MY BREAD-ADDICT FRIENDS:
Try cloud bread! I've made this many times and it makes a great substitute. And yes, they can be stored. Just make sure to put saran wrap or wax paper between the buns!

Also, I made some cauliflower crust pizza the other day. And oh wow yum! And NO flour! Forming the crust into a big square and cutting it into sammich sized pieces makes for a good sammich!

RunawayCurves

I am a rock bottom food addict. I have both starved myself and been morbidly obese. For me binge eating is only ever under control when I have clear boundaries and I accept the absolute need to respect those boundaries. Every time I think I have it under control and I relax my boundaries, sooner or later all hell breaks loose and I find myself wishing I was dead because I am so out of control and have done so much damage.

Food is really tricky because unlike alcohol and narcotics you can not just cut it out of your life. Even if decide to cut certain foods or types of foods out of life it is very hard to stick to it because society in general understands an alcoholic not drinking alcohol and understands a Heroin junkie not taking drugs anymore. Society in general has very much less sympathy, understanding and support for food junkies who choose not to eat cake, ice cream, bread etc. For those of us who know all too clearly that we are food junkies the path to recovery is very much more complex and unsupported than for other addicts. Your "friends" and family will actively push cake at you and call you neurotic no matter how much you explain and plead for support and understanding. No one would tell an alcoholic not to be so daft and just have a drink.

Keeping that in mind a rock bottom binge eating food junkie like myself I believe has to be totally reliant on self for accountability. A great deal of honesty with self is needed. Some foods for me are poison, they warp my thinking and eventually lead to suicidal inclinations. Other people may be able to safely eat them but I know I can not. I have to be honest with myself about that and then act responsibly by not eating those things ever the same as I would not eat nuts if had an allergy. My food allergy may not result in immediate anaphylactic shock and death but without fail it has lead me to misery and wishing I was dead. It will kill me if I keep eating foods that poison my body and mind, it is just a slower death than a nut allergy. Some foods I know I can never have safely at all. Some foods I can have but only occasionally and only when out, only when emotionally stable (never in the home). Some foods I can have in home but I need to accurately portion control them to avoid deceiving myself. Some foods I can have in home but can only consume in company.

It also helps me within home to have a menu I created of meals that work for me and to pick things of that menu. The less thinking I do about food the better. Put some thought and effort in to setting up workable long term boundaries and it makes day to day life much easier.
Accountability to myself leaves no one to rebel against and no one to blame for not saving me. Self accountability empowers me to get on with saving myself. My heart is then free to be more available to others instead of being busy being disappointed by unfulfilled expectations of what I want others to do for me. I am my saviour. Anyone else's contribution to my well being is bonus material.
I have been in food addicts in recovery anonymouse in past , lost all the weight and sponsored others but ultimately it was not right for me for many reasons including huge emotional co-dependency for which I ended up in another 12 step recovery group. 12 step groups are not for me, too cult like and too much emphasis on prayer which is no good for those who do not believe. For me my accountability has to come from me.

Below is how I understand my issues with food. I am not saying this applies to everyone.
Food addiction
For me Flour, Sugar over processed and unmeasured food is a drug.
What is a food addict?

With alcohol you can be
A normal drinker: Occasional drinker, or light drinker even an occasional binge drinker but still not have a problem with alcohol.
A problem drinker: Heavy drinker or someone who occasional binge drinks and it cause them problems.
In all of those situations it remains possible to remain or become with enough support and effort a moderate drinker.
An Alcoholic: When a major addiction has been formed, alcohol has been abused to such an extent and caused such damage on multiple levels that it is no longer possible to engage with it safely ever again for life.

Food addiction is the same
With food you can be
A normal eater: Balanced eater, someone who may sometimes overeat or under eat but it is not a big deal.
A problem eater: Someone who over or under eats enough that it causes problems such as weight issues, physical issues, some eating disorders. In all of those situations it remains possible to remain or become with enough support and effort a balanced eater.
A food addict: When a major addiction has been formed, disordered eating behaviour and certain food types have been abused to such an extent and caused such damage on multiple levels that it is no longer possible to engage with disordered eating behaviour and certain food types ever again for life.

Modern processed foods are disordered ways of eating for humans especially if not contained within boundaries. For those with food addiction it is only safe to engage with foods in most balanced and natural states and with very firm boundaries in place.

What I have realised is so often my undoing is nothing to do with my food plans. What derails me more than anything else is my obsession with bathroom scales. If I have lost lots then I get complacent and go off rails. If I have lost less than hoped then I get disheartened and go off rails. Therefore I have concluded that bathroom scales have no value in my life. For me a weekly, monthly or even two monthly weigh in is too much. I am morbidly obese. I am massive. I do not need scales to tell me that. It is not me that needs to go on scales it is what I eat. I am going to accurately weigh and portion out my food to a calorie deficit. I am aiming for 1200-1500 cal a day, 2000cal a day once a week when go out with my partner. As long as I track my food I will lose weight. I just need to keep doing that forever. One day I will look in the mirror and see a normal size person looking back. Along the way i will notice myself feeling better and my clothes needing smaller sizes. The only time I ever need to step on a scale again is if a doctor requests it or I think I look underweight and might need to confirm that in order to adjust my calorie aim.

I am enjoying my freedom from the scales already. It leaves me free to appreciate feeling better about myself without the fear of what the scales say hanging over me dictating how I feel. Especially as a woman , a very large person , a very large woman fluid levels go all over the place and affect weight on scales meaning a few lb this way or that from week to week. Some months I will only lose a few lb even though I have been on track. If I see that on scale I know it messes with my mind. I am setting myself free. Bye bye bathroom scales, hello kitchen scales.