Depressed and nobody to talk to...

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Replies

  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    Why don't you come to the beautiful ones selfie thread and post selfies and indulge in the online vanity project?

    I don't recommend this if you are a sensitive soul however.... @projectsix made fun of my pajamas and I cried when I accidentally posted in this one

    Someone here made you cry?!!!! I'll beat him up next time I see him, I happen to think you look fabulous in your jammies, dahling!
  • Francl27 wrote: »
    Are you feeling any better today? How was the meeting last night?

    Drama happened with my kids and I didn't get to go. I wasn't exactly heartbroken about it (I went to the last one, it was just awkward with me not really knowing anyone) and I got to spend an hour chatting with my friend instead (kids do the same activity). Didn't really help but I suppose it got my mind off things for a bit. I like him a lot but he's not a very close friend - I don't have any of those. We just see each other all the time as our kids are good friends, so I suppose it's a good thing that we get along well.. I just don't want to bother him with my problems anyway. I appreciate the irony that it's because of depression that I lost most of my friends when I was 22, and that now I'm just trying hard to hide it so that I don't lose the few people I care about.. which of course doesn't do anything to help with my depression as I can't talk to anyone.

    The rest of the night kinda sucked but we just watched TV.

    Now, I know that it's a big part due to my hormones (I get crazy PMS symptoms) and TOM showed up today... but still. I'm still crying today and really don't want to do anything... no appetite even though my stomach's growling. My husband's trying to make me feel better but I really don't want to talk to him and I just want to be left alone. Just been watching some shows while on the stationary bike. It hasn't been that bad for years. Sigh. Hoping it will just go away when my hormones calm down.

    Hormones related to PMS are really bad for me too. Have you talked to your OB/Gyn about (a different) birth control? I was on antidepressants when I started a daily pill (estrogen + progesterone), and 2 months later I was able to wean off the antidepressants. I was more or less okay for years. 2 years ago I switched to an implant (progesterone only) and started having super emotional PMS (uncontrollable crying, constant suicidal thoughts), so I was able to confirm birth control/estrogen levels being a factor for my mental health. (Unfortunately I couldn't go back on the pill because it gave me migraines, but that's another rant for another time.)

    When I go through my really dark days, my brain tells me I shouldn't tell my friends or husband what's going on, but they want to know. They want to be there for me and make sure I'm safe. They want to tell me they love me. It's hard, but there's nothing wrong with asking a friend to come over and be with you because you're struggling and you don't want to be alone.

    Also, I know right now everything is miserable, but maybe in a couple of days when the hormonal fog lifts, remember that your husband was trying to make you feel better? You've said you feel stuck in your marriage, but at least there's moments like that where he shows he cares.

    I really, really feel for you. I'm glad you posted on here... You need the support, and there are people who care.

    This isn't PMS, it's PMDD.
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  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    OP...I really feel your pain! I've seen you remark before about the state of your marriage, and your life in general. Please do yourself a favor, and let your doctor know how your feeling. It sounds very much like the vicious cycle (circle even?) of depression. You will be astounded at what feeling "good" feels like once you start taking care of it! Much love my friend, you deserve to be happy xo
  • That_Look
    That_Look Posts: 1,001 Member
    You have plenty of friends here. Message any time.
  • ChrisNels1
    ChrisNels1 Posts: 16,638 Member
    The hardest part is laying your problems out there. You've done that. Congratulations and pat yourself on the back. But, the hard work has to come from within you. We can be here to offer support and encouraging words but the steps are yours. And, nothing of this magnitude gets resolved over night. Take joy from each small change and keep the momentum going. You've already started!
    None of us are alone. We are all on the same path to some great unknown. Choosing how to travel it is the difference.
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