Depressed and nobody to talk to...

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  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Meditation/prayer/centering...there is always someone there is how I have learned to cope. I also found a counselor that I could go to that I could vent to when needed.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Domino_75 wrote: »
    I feel like I could have started this thread. I feel just like you do @FrancI27. In my home town I felt like an outcast, even though most of the people I was around was family. We moved a couple months ago and that has actually helped. I have no expectations that people will talk to me. I have actually had more conversations with complete strangers in the last two months than I had in two years in my home town. MFP has made a world of difference. I can vent here and have people to talk to and have fun with on my terms. I'm an introvert as well, so there are days I don't feel like interacting, but most days this is where I come to have a good time and get out of my depressive moods.

    I have stalkers here unfortunately... people who keep posting things in my threads... they're on ignore but their posts appear when they are quoted, so it's unfortunate. I've found that very often, there are so many mean spirited people online, it really doesn't help with my mood either.
  • PowerMan40
    PowerMan40 Posts: 766 Member
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    I am very much an intovert as well, it has taken me many years of practice. However I d like to tell you there is hope. I started by talking to the chashers at grocery stores, They always say how you doing, and I started saying nice things back to them. Instead of just saying good and looking away, I would notice something and comment on it. Standing straight and smiling helped me too. People dont want to approach a 280 lb man who is not smiling. lol. Look up into the eyes of folks walking around, and smile, 100 out of 100 they will smile back. You will start feeling better about everything, and you smiled at a stranger, and may have made their day better as well.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    I am very much an intovert as well, it has taken me many years of practice. However I d like to tell you there is hope. I started by talking to the chashers at grocery stores, They always say how you doing, and I started saying nice things back to them. Instead of just saying good and looking away, I would notice something and comment on it. Standing straight and smiling helped me too. People dont want to approach a 280 lb man who is not smiling. lol. Look up into the eyes of folks walking around, and smile, 100 out of 100 they will smile back. You will start feeling better about everything, and you smiled at a stranger, and may have made their day better as well.

    I didn't use to be that way, honestly, but life kicked me in the *kitten*.
  • PowerMan40
    PowerMan40 Posts: 766 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    I am very much an intovert as well, it has taken me many years of practice. However I d like to tell you there is hope. I started by talking to the chashers at grocery stores, They always say how you doing, and I started saying nice things back to them. Instead of just saying good and looking away, I would notice something and comment on it. Standing straight and smiling helped me too. People dont want to approach a 280 lb man who is not smiling. lol. Look up into the eyes of folks walking around, and smile, 100 out of 100 they will smile back. You will start feeling better about everything, and you smiled at a stranger, and may have made their day better as well.

    I didn't use to be that way, honestly, but life kicked me in the *kitten*.

    So you know then that you can, but you just wont trust, and go for it. I am this way, just becase I am, always have been, All you need to do, is one foot in front of another, and change small things you do. If I can do it, Im sure you can, since you have not always been this way.
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
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    Are you feeling any better today? How was the meeting last night?
  • jonnucke
    jonnucke Posts: 62 Member
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    I understand, its hard for me to make friends (i'm very awkward) especially with my kids' friends' parents. Also since i live in a super rural area, a lot of my passions are FAR away. the only way i make it through is sharing my passions with my kids.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    chocolate_owl wrote: »
    Are you feeling any better today? How was the meeting last night?

    Drama happened with my kids and I didn't get to go. I wasn't exactly heartbroken about it (I went to the last one, it was just awkward with me not really knowing anyone) and I got to spend an hour chatting with my friend instead (kids do the same activity). Didn't really help but I suppose it got my mind off things for a bit. I like him a lot but he's not a very close friend - I don't have any of those. We just see each other all the time as our kids are good friends, so I suppose it's a good thing that we get along well.. I just don't want to bother him with my problems anyway. I appreciate the irony that it's because of depression that I lost most of my friends when I was 22, and that now I'm just trying hard to hide it so that I don't lose the few people I care about.. which of course doesn't do anything to help with my depression as I can't talk to anyone.

    The rest of the night kinda sucked but we just watched TV.

    Now, I know that it's a big part due to my hormones (I get crazy PMS symptoms) and TOM showed up today... but still. I'm still crying today and really don't want to do anything... no appetite even though my stomach's growling. My husband's trying to make me feel better but I really don't want to talk to him and I just want to be left alone. Just been watching some shows while on the stationary bike. It hasn't been that bad for years. Sigh. Hoping it will just go away when my hormones calm down.
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    chocolate_owl wrote: »
    Are you feeling any better today? How was the meeting last night?

    Drama happened with my kids and I didn't get to go. I wasn't exactly heartbroken about it (I went to the last one, it was just awkward with me not really knowing anyone) and I got to spend an hour chatting with my friend instead (kids do the same activity). Didn't really help but I suppose it got my mind off things for a bit. I like him a lot but he's not a very close friend - I don't have any of those. We just see each other all the time as our kids are good friends, so I suppose it's a good thing that we get along well.. I just don't want to bother him with my problems anyway. I appreciate the irony that it's because of depression that I lost most of my friends when I was 22, and that now I'm just trying hard to hide it so that I don't lose the few people I care about.. which of course doesn't do anything to help with my depression as I can't talk to anyone.

    The rest of the night kinda sucked but we just watched TV.

    Now, I know that it's a big part due to my hormones (I get crazy PMS symptoms) and TOM showed up today... but still. I'm still crying today and really don't want to do anything... no appetite even though my stomach's growling. My husband's trying to make me feel better but I really don't want to talk to him and I just want to be left alone. Just been watching some shows while on the stationary bike. It hasn't been that bad for years. Sigh. Hoping it will just go away when my hormones calm down.

    Hormones related to PMS are really bad for me too. Have you talked to your OB/Gyn about (a different) birth control? I was on antidepressants when I started a daily pill (estrogen + progesterone), and 2 months later I was able to wean off the antidepressants. I was more or less okay for years. 2 years ago I switched to an implant (progesterone only) and started having super emotional PMS (uncontrollable crying, constant suicidal thoughts), so I was able to confirm birth control/estrogen levels being a factor for my mental health. (Unfortunately I couldn't go back on the pill because it gave me migraines, but that's another rant for another time.)

    When I go through my really dark days, my brain tells me I shouldn't tell my friends or husband what's going on, but they want to know. They want to be there for me and make sure I'm safe. They want to tell me they love me. It's hard, but there's nothing wrong with asking a friend to come over and be with you because you're struggling and you don't want to be alone.

    Also, I know right now everything is miserable, but maybe in a couple of days when the hormonal fog lifts, remember that your husband was trying to make you feel better? You've said you feel stuck in your marriage, but at least there's moments like that where he shows he cares.

    I really, really feel for you. I'm glad you posted on here... You need the support, and there are people who care.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    LiftingLady5 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Why don't you come to the beautiful ones selfie thread and post selfies and indulge in the online vanity project?

    I don't recommend this if you are a sensitive soul however.... @projectsix made fun of my pajamas and I cried when I accidentally posted in this one

    Someone here made you cry?!!!! I'll beat him up next time I see him, I happen to think you look fabulous in your jammies, dahling!
  • _Sugar_interrupted
    _Sugar_interrupted Posts: 529 Member
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    chocolate_owl wrote: »
    Francl27 wrote: »
    chocolate_owl wrote: »
    Are you feeling any better today? How was the meeting last night?

    Drama happened with my kids and I didn't get to go. I wasn't exactly heartbroken about it (I went to the last one, it was just awkward with me not really knowing anyone) and I got to spend an hour chatting with my friend instead (kids do the same activity). Didn't really help but I suppose it got my mind off things for a bit. I like him a lot but he's not a very close friend - I don't have any of those. We just see each other all the time as our kids are good friends, so I suppose it's a good thing that we get along well.. I just don't want to bother him with my problems anyway. I appreciate the irony that it's because of depression that I lost most of my friends when I was 22, and that now I'm just trying hard to hide it so that I don't lose the few people I care about.. which of course doesn't do anything to help with my depression as I can't talk to anyone.

    The rest of the night kinda sucked but we just watched TV.

    Now, I know that it's a big part due to my hormones (I get crazy PMS symptoms) and TOM showed up today... but still. I'm still crying today and really don't want to do anything... no appetite even though my stomach's growling. My husband's trying to make me feel better but I really don't want to talk to him and I just want to be left alone. Just been watching some shows while on the stationary bike. It hasn't been that bad for years. Sigh. Hoping it will just go away when my hormones calm down.

    Hormones related to PMS are really bad for me too. Have you talked to your OB/Gyn about (a different) birth control? I was on antidepressants when I started a daily pill (estrogen + progesterone), and 2 months later I was able to wean off the antidepressants. I was more or less okay for years. 2 years ago I switched to an implant (progesterone only) and started having super emotional PMS (uncontrollable crying, constant suicidal thoughts), so I was able to confirm birth control/estrogen levels being a factor for my mental health. (Unfortunately I couldn't go back on the pill because it gave me migraines, but that's another rant for another time.)

    When I go through my really dark days, my brain tells me I shouldn't tell my friends or husband what's going on, but they want to know. They want to be there for me and make sure I'm safe. They want to tell me they love me. It's hard, but there's nothing wrong with asking a friend to come over and be with you because you're struggling and you don't want to be alone.

    Also, I know right now everything is miserable, but maybe in a couple of days when the hormonal fog lifts, remember that your husband was trying to make you feel better? You've said you feel stuck in your marriage, but at least there's moments like that where he shows he cares.

    I really, really feel for you. I'm glad you posted on here... You need the support, and there are people who care.

    This isn't PMS, it's PMDD.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    OP...I really feel your pain! I've seen you remark before about the state of your marriage, and your life in general. Please do yourself a favor, and let your doctor know how your feeling. It sounds very much like the vicious cycle (circle even?) of depression. You will be astounded at what feeling "good" feels like once you start taking care of it! Much love my friend, you deserve to be happy xo
  • That_Look
    That_Look Posts: 1,001 Member
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    You have plenty of friends here. Message any time.
  • ChrisNels1
    ChrisNels1 Posts: 16,638 Member
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    The hardest part is laying your problems out there. You've done that. Congratulations and pat yourself on the back. But, the hard work has to come from within you. We can be here to offer support and encouraging words but the steps are yours. And, nothing of this magnitude gets resolved over night. Take joy from each small change and keep the momentum going. You've already started!
    None of us are alone. We are all on the same path to some great unknown. Choosing how to travel it is the difference.

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