Mixed Weight Couples

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Replies

  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    Gena575 wrote: »
    I struggle some with this as well. Not only am I heavier, but he's a shortie. He still, at 40-something, wants nookie daily and near begs to see me nekkid. I think he's nuts, but obviously he loves me as I am.

    @Gena575 Very good. If you spend the rest of your life together, it's quite right right you'd continue to see each other like that, no matter what changes you go through. He shouldn't even have to beg. Continue to love each other, and maybe make changes for your health as you age, not just for visual comparisons.
  • varuamoon
    varuamoon Posts: 7 Member
    Sounds like the guy is really into you. But you doubting his feelings for you could make him doubt his own attractiveness to you. So go grab his butt and let him know how much you're into him. It might just help your self confidence too.
  • RhapsodyWinters
    RhapsodyWinters Posts: 128 Member
    LaurenRitter205 wrote: »
    Am I crazy and alone on this or anyone else ever felt this way or had these struggles? How would YOU deal with this sort of thing?

    PS: I know I sound whiney and stupid but I just had to get this out somewhere.

    Oh my god this. I have self-esteem issues, spanning from when I was a kid (and I was a super skinny kid. I just had childhood acne and became the butt of people's jokes at school. Didn't make any friends because of it). My boyfriend is also overweight, though not as much as me. The topic comes up sometimes, and I tell him the thoughts I have about not being 'pretty' enough and being ugly and him not getting "attracted" to me (we're a Long Distance Relationship, meeting up in mid February for the first time!!), and he consistently tells me he loves me and thinks I'm pretty (a lie I'm sure, I still have plenty pop-ups of acne, and that's certainly not attractive whatsoever). He says he doesn't care how much I weigh, and only cares that we live well into our 1000's (xD because we're totally gonna live forever. What do we say to the god of death? NOT TODAY)

    When he visits in February, if everything even goes well with my weight loss, I'll match his weight (if he does nothing to lose weight). I'm 5'4 and he's 6', so obviously I'll still be heavier than him. I constantly worry about this.

    However, I know that the only thing I can do is work on myself. Losing the weight, going to the gym, and getting fit. Yes. A portion of the reason I'm doing this is for him. But A large part is for myself. I want to be fit. I want to be happy with my body (I think the stretch marks will annoy me, but I don't think I'll hate them. Especially not if I was able to drop the 130lb I'm aiming for!)

    If you ever need a friend to talk to, feel free to talk to me. I know people on here are saying "you have to build up your self-esteem!"...well it's not simple as that. You don't just magically create self esteem. I already feel better just by going to the gym 6 days a week (though only for about 30-45 min each day). I imagine my self-esteem will increase as the weight decreases.

  • esjones12
    esjones12 Posts: 1,363 Member
    edited September 2016
    When my boyfriend and I started dating 9 months ago I was 165lbs at 5'8 and he was around 145lbs at 5'3. I got over the height issue pretty quick because we click in so many ways and both love health and fitness. February through July were a freaking train wreck for me....I ran into a slew of health problems that completely knocked me off my feet. I was unable to exercise and reverted back to binge eating to deal with stress. I jumped back up to 195. Was able to shed 10 pounds the past two months but am super struggling. Meanwhile the boyfriend has been Ultra marathon training (actually running his 100k tomorrow, woot woot!).....and he dropped to 130! I feel awkward and ashamed a lot because I hate that I let this happen to me, and I want to be fit and healthy so I can go running with him, etc. However, bottom line is.....I don't really give a crap what others think of us together. He has been so fantastically supporting though everything I've experienced this year and tells me I'm beautiful all the time.

    If you love him and he doesn't make you feel ashamed of yourself - then enjoy your happiness. Stop letting what others may or may not think about you from the outside. I bet if you asked your closest friends they would give you some heartfelt reasons why they think the two of you are great together ;)

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